我去上班了 肖恩
你来早了 睡眠不好吗 You're here early. Trouble sleeping?
不是 就是想赶紧从公寓出来上班 No. Just wanted to get out of my apartment and to work.
你工作已经很累了 回家去吧 We work you plenty hard enough. Go home.
确保休息好也是工作的一部分 Making sure you're rested is also part of the job.
我明白 I understand.
对于不觉得自己生病 What should I tell a patient
但我认为他们得了胰腺癌的病人 if they don't think they're sick
我应该怎么和他们说 but I think they have pancreatic cancer?
你觉得我们有一位病人得了胰腺癌吗 You think one of our patients has pancreatic cancer?
十七 Seventeen.
他十分钟内打了十七次嗝 He's burped 17 times in 10 minutes.
这是胰腺癌的常见症状 It's a frequent symptom of pancreatic cancer.
肖恩 就是胃酸倒流而已 Shaun, it's acid reflux.
他还有黄疸 He's also jaundiced.
不 他没有 No, he isn't.
保罗的皮肤颜色绝对和六个月前不一样 Paul's skin is definitely not the same color it was six months ago.
-保罗 -他跟我提起他女儿时 - Paul? - I looked at his mouth
我看见了他嘴里的情况 when he was telling me about his daughter.
-她... -跟我走 - She just... - Walk with me.
什么都别说 Say nothing.
肖恩 Hey, Shaun.
做中心静脉置管 全面代谢生化检验 Do a CVC, CMP,
淀粉酶 脂肪酶检测 肿瘤标志物检测 amylase, lipase, CA-19 levels,
还有腹腔CT 骨盆胰腺检查 and CT abdomen, pelvis pancreatic protocol,
不要告诉他为什么 and do not tell him why.
你想让我撒谎 You want me to lie?
我不想让你说实话 I don't want you to tell the truth.
如果有变色 也是很轻微的 The discoloration, if there is any, is very minor.
我不想让你害他虚惊一场 I don't want you scaring the crap out of the man over nothing.
很好 我一直在练习撒谎 Excellent. I've been practicing lying.
我刚刚就撒谎了 I lied to you before
我说就是想赶紧从公寓出来上班是骗人的 when I said I just wanted to get out of my apartment and to work.
带上克莱尔 Take Claire.
你好 我是利姆医生 Hello. I'm Dr. Lim.
我能帮到你什么呢... How can I help you today...
亚莎 Asha?
我想做整形手术 I want plastic surgery.
亲爱的 这里是急诊 Sweetheart, this is the Emergency Room.
如果你想 我可以帮你预约... If you want, I can make an appointment for you...
你会做阴道修复手术 对吗 Well, you do vaginal rejuvenation, right?
会... Yes...
给更老更虚荣的女人做过 On much older, much vainer women,
通常都生过很多孩子了 generally after having many children.
我不知道男孩们怎么说你... I don't know what the boys have told you...
给我做检查 Examine me.
求你了 Please.
请脱下你的内裤 Please take off your underwear.
你遇到什么意外了吗 Were you in an accident?
没有 No.
你能帮我吗 Can you help me?
-是你父亲干的吗 -不是 - Did your father do this to you? - No.
-拜托... -是你母亲... - Please just... - Did your mother...
我得知道是谁干的 I need to know who did this to you.
不 不需要知道 是谁干的不重要... No, you don't! It doesn't matter who...
在我两岁的时候... When I was 2 years old...
我被绑起来 做了割礼 I was... tied down, and I was circumcised.
求你了 Please.
我丑死了 I'm hideous.
你能帮我吗 Will you help me?
能 Yes.
良 医
第二季 第二集
你们为什么要诊断我是不是胃酸倒流 Why do you need to confirm a diagnosis of acid reflux?
因为我们是医生 这就是我们的工作 Because we're doctors. It's what we do.
只想确保万无一失 We just like to be sure of everything.
有很小的可能性... There are a few remote possibilities...
我来 I've got this!
你知道医院员工手册 Are you familiar with the hospital employee manual
第十七节 第三小节 第三条的内容吗 section 17, subsection C, triple I?
-不知道 -很好 - No. - Good.
-很好 -是的 - Good? - Yes.
那条要求 It requires that
所有的员工都要 all employees shall be subject to,
原话是 and I quote,
「做任何有必要的检测来确认诊断 "Any and all possible necessary tests
「做任何有必要的检测来确认诊断 to confirm any and all diagnoses,
无论检测有多普通 费用就将由 no matter how mundane, the cost of which tests
医院全部承担」 引用完毕 shall be borne by the hospital," end quote.
董事会想确保 The Board wants to make sure
万一有病人得了传染性疾病 that no one is exposed to patients
不能让任何人接触到 if there is any chance that they have
有传染病的病人 any communicable condition.
我上个星期感冒了 I had the flu last week.
那时候怎么没人给我检查 Why didn't anybody do anything for me then?
-是医院的新政策 -你可能得了胰腺癌 - It's a new policy. - You might have pancreatic cancer.
什么 What?
他说什么 What'd he say?
女性割礼 Female genital mutilation
是一种割掉部分或者全部 is the ritual cutting or removal of some, or all,
女性外生殖器的宗教仪式 of the external female genitalia.
全世界有超过两亿受害者 Over 200 million victims worldwide.
在很多非洲和亚洲国家 It is almost universally practiced
是非常普遍的现象 in a number of African and Asian countries.
她出生在哪 Where was she born?
威斯康星州 Wisconsin.
在这也比你想象的普遍得多 Yeah, it's way more common here than you think.
-她信什么教 -我没问 - What religion is she? - I didn't ask.
这和宗教无关 This isn't about religion.
合法的宗教组织不会允许这种做法的 No legit religious organization endorses this stuff.
明天一早就给她做阴唇整形 We're gonna do the labiaplasty first thing in the morning.
阴部的神经损伤和她的精神损伤 The damage done to her nerves is not going to get undone,
都是不可逆的 nor is the psych damage,
但至少她能看起来像其他女孩一样 but at least she'll look like other girls.
我们应该能在晚上6点前让她出院 We should be able to have her out of here by 6:00 in the evening.
门诊吗 为什么这么急 Outpatient? Why the hurry?
这样她妈就会认为她去上学了 So her mother will simply think she's in school,
放学后和朋友一起学习去了 then out studying with her friends.
她爱她的父母 不想告诉他们 She loves her parents and doesn't want to tell them
她无法忍受他们的这种文化传统 that she's rejecting one of their cultural traditions.
瞒不了他们多久的 They won't stay in the dark for long,
我们在法律上有义务上报 since we're legally obligated to report them.
那种「文化传统」同时符合虐待的定义 That "Cultural tradition" also fits the definition of abuse.
找他们签手术同意书时 And they'll also find out when we ask
他们就会知道了 for their permission to do this surgery.
她是未成年人 She's a minor.
她的身份证上写着十八了 Her ID says she's 18.
对 但她的身份证是假的 Yes, her fake ID says she's 18.
她的身份证号以「H」开头 Her number starts with an "H,"
也就是说她是五十年代出生的 Which means she was born in the '50s.
还有照片背景是绿色而不是蓝色 Also, the photo background is green instead of blue.
其他六个细节也能证明是假的 Also six other things.
如果能拿到法院指令 手术就是合法的 Maybe we can get Legal to get a court order...
如果我相信这个证件是真的 If I believe that ID is real,
那我就有权只征询本人意见 then I am entitled to perform this surgery
进而实施手术 without seeking consent of anyone other than the patient.
并且法律要求我在三十六小时内 And, as legally required within 36 hours,
根据证件上的名字和地址 I will report the evidence of abuse
上报家庭虐待相关证据 under the name and address listed on that ID.
如果在调查开始之前 If the investigation of that report
女孩就不见了 doesn't begin until the girl is long gone
而且因为用的假名导致无处查证 and happens to lead nowhere because the name wasn't real,
那也不是我的责任 that's no fault of mine.
你确定要用自己的行医执照做赌注吗 Are you sure you want to risk your medical license
只为保护一个施虐的母亲 to protect an abusive mother?
如果我们按章办事 If we do this by the book,
我们永远不会再见到她 谁都帮不到 we never see that girl again and no one gets help.
如果我们按章办事 也许警察会把她父母关起来 If we do this by the book, maybe the cops lock the parents up.
我们曝光这事 她的整个社群都会害怕 We shine a light on this thing, her community gets scared,
或许就不会有需要我们帮忙的女孩了 and maybe the next girl doesn't need our help.
也有可能女孩说的 Or maybe the testimony of the girl
她两岁时的遭遇 about what happened to her when she was 2
根本帮不到警察 doesn't help the cops at all.
有可能她会被父母带回家 Maybe the parents just take their daughter home,
下一个女孩有可能 and maybe we scare the next girl
会害怕到不敢求助 into not even asking for help.
明天早上七点 I'm doing the surgery to this girl
我要对叫这个名字的女孩进行手术 under this name tomorrow morning at 7:00 A.M.
我不敢相信人们会撒谎 I can't believe people ever lie.
有太多可能被问及的问题了 There are so many questions people might ask you,
但如果你说真话 but if you tell the truth,
你早就知道答案了 you already know the answers.
但这是不对的 And, also, it's wrong.
但有时候 But sometimes,
不该说出全部的事实吗 you shouldn't tell the whole truth?
是的 当然不能 No. Of course not.
因为说实话让你有尊严 Because that lets you be honorable
而且代表你是个好人 and tell the truth and be a good person,
但同时 but at the same time,
你又可以完全骗到对方 you get to completely deceive the person.
-不 我不认为 -莉亚回来了 - No, I don't think that... - Lea came back.
肖恩 太棒了 Shaun, that's great.
在找到住处前她都和我住一起 She's staying with me until she finds her own place.
你肯定很兴奋 You must be so excited.
是的 Yes.
你不开心吗 You're not excited?
我说「是的」 I said, "Yes."
保罗只有一年可活了 Paul has one year to live.
他患有胰腺癌 He has pancreatic cancer.
第三阶段 Stage III.
无病灶转移 但局部有淋巴结 There are no metastatic lesions, but there are local nodes involved.
肠系膜上动脉部分包裹 And there's partial encasement of the superior mesenteric artery.
所以我们现在已不能实施局部切除术 That puts it past the point where we can cure with local resection.
我们可以实施惠普尔手术 We could do Whipple surgery.
不建议给第三阶段的胰腺癌患者做那手术 That's not advised for stage III pancreatic cancer.
并不是 第四阶段的患者不合适 Not quite. It's not advised for stage IV.
第三阶段的患者 要酌情商议 For stage III, it's discretionary.
那我的决定是 In my discretion,
一年不太舒服的日子 he's better off with 12 semi-comfortable months,
也好过冒险明天死在手术台上 rather than running the risk of dying on the table tomorrow.
如果他没死 那他就还能活很多年 If he doesn't die on the table, he could have many years.
我们说了都不算 It isn't our call to make.
我去和保罗谈谈 告知他手术风险 I'll talk to Paul, advise him of the parameters,
让他自己决定 let him make his own decision.
不 No.
让肖恩去说吧 Shaun should do it.
克莱尔可以的 Claire can do it.
没错 所以这次让你去 Yes, she can, which is why you should do it.
这是家教学医院 This is a teaching hospital.
安德鲁斯是对的 Andrews is right...
外科医生不仅仅是做手术 Being a surgeon isn't just about cutting.
我们可以去个更安静的地方谈谈吗 Would it be okay if we spoke someplace more quiet?
你需要在安静的地方告诉我有胃反酸吗 You need someplace quiet to tell me I have acid reflux?
我觉得我们该去个安静的地方 I think we should be someplace quiet
因为听到自己可能顶多能活一年时 because people sometimes get very upset
人们有时会非常不开心 when they find out they probably only have less than a year to live.
好吧 Okay, uh...
我能联系下家人吗 Can I call my family?
他们也该听听你要说的话 They should probably hear what you have to say, too.
我更情愿... I'd rather just talk to...
当然没问题 Of course you can.
我打算用15厘米的安布勒牵引钩把它抬高 I'll elevate it with a 6-inch Ambler tissue hook.
你用虹膜镊把下面的组织分开 You separate the underlying tissue with iris forceps.
好 给我肌腱剪 I got it. Tenotomy scissors.
我觉得我们进度还挺快 I think we're actually a little ahead of schedule.
也许能及时送她回去赶上做作业 Might be able to get her home in time to do her homework.
回到她那「充满爱」的家里 Back to the bosom of her loving family.
我们会通过切除胰头和 We'd remove as much of the cancer as possible
其他相连的器官 by removing the head of the pancreas
尽量切除癌细胞 and other attached organs,
但是我们得重建你的内部器官构造 but then, we'd have to reconstruct the anatomy.
最简单的方法就是 The easiest way to do that
植入一节空肠... is to bring up a loop of jejunum...
肖恩 Shaun.
抱歉 Sorry.
空肠是小肠的一部分 The jejunum is part of the small intestine
在十二指肠和回肠之间 between the duodenum and ileum.
这是场既复杂又危险的手术 It's complicated, very dangerous surgery.
即使手术成功 And even if it's successful,
术后并发症也很常见 并且通常很严重 post-operative complications are frequent and serious.
恢复过程更是痛苦不堪 And recovery can be very painful.
但如果手术成功 他会好起来吗 But if it works, he's better? He'll be healthy?
他还是需要化疗 He would still need chemotherapy
以及终身监控 and a lifetime of monitoring.
但希望能活得长久 But hopefully, a long lifetime.
做手术吧 爸 Let's do it, Dad.
你觉得呢 What do you say?
我该怎么办 What should I do?
这是你的决定 It's your decision.
我们能做的只是告诉你实情 All we can do is present you with the facts.
是啊 爸 实情就是 Yeah, here are the facts, Dad...
手术可能会致死 The surgery may kill you.
但不做手术一定会要了你的命 Not doing the surgery will kill you.
能让我们单独呆会儿吗 Can you give us a few minutes?
当然 Of course.
安德鲁斯医生真好 给了你间办公室 It was very nice of Dr. Andrews to give you an office,
尽管你还在休病假 even though, you're on medical leave.
没错 他就是个圣人 Yeah, he is a prince.
你的外科医生是谁 Who's your surgeon going to be?
我还没 I haven't d...
我还没有决定 I haven't decided yet.
你应该选择 You should definitely go with
斯坦福医疗中心的乔舒亚·阿特金森医生 Dr. Joshua Atkinson at Stanford Medical Center.
他的手术死亡率只有零点三 His mortality index is .3.
太低了 It's too low.
他濒死的病患不够多吗 Not enough of his patients are dying?
不是 肖恩 病患有时会撑不下来 No, Shaun, sometimes patients die.
无论医生技术有多好 Doesn't matter how good the doctor is.
但当你的死亡率和阿特金森一样低时 But when your mortality rate is as low as Atkinson's,
这就意味着你不接这些患者 it means you're turning away patients.
如果你不接 说明你缺乏自信 You turn away patients, it means you lack confidence.
你缺乏自信 我可不想让你碰我的脑袋 You lack confidence, I don't want you inside my head.
而在这一切之后我还想 And I'd like to be able to dress myself
能自己打理自己呢 when I'm all done.
肖恩 你来做什么 Shaun, what are you doing here?
你今早很早就来上班了 You showed up at work early this morning.
回家去休息 Go home. Get some rest.
我回家也休息不了 I won't rest if I go home.
手术很顺利 The surgery went great.
一旦伤口愈合好 Once everything's healed,
我觉得你会对结果很满意的 I think you'll be very happy with the results.
现在几点了 What time is it?
没到5点45 Not quite 5:45.
我们只需要你排一次尿 然后 We just need you to pee, and...
我得回家了 I need to go home.
你会的 很快就会 And you will... very soon.
很疼 It hurts.
我告诉过你 I told you it would.
我们做了许多切除刮屑 We did a lot of cutting and scraping.
你有许多伤痕组织 You had a lot of scar tissue.
真的很疼 It hurts a lot.
我们会给你开泰诺 We'll give you some Tylenol,
你可以告诉你妈妈你痛经了 and you can tell your mother you're cramping.
挂上氯胺酮 每小时每千克体重130毫克 Hang ketamine... 130 micrograms per kilogram per hour.
怎么会这么痛 Why does it hurt this much?
我不知道 I don't know.
但你回不了家了 But you're not going home.
给她用了大量镇静剂 She's heavily sedated.
我们对她做了什么 What did we do to her?
如果这是好消息呢 What if this is good news?
我知道你们当医生还没多长时间 I know you haven't been a doctor all that long,
但疼痛很少是个好消息 but pain is rarely a sign of good news.
如果是原本以为已彻底损伤的那部分在疼 It is if you're talking about a part of the body
那就是好消息 you thought was dead.
如果这意味着那里还有存活的神经末梢呢 What if this means there's still viable nerve endings in there?
如果这意味着我们可以为她 What if this means we can actually reconstruct her clitoris
重塑一个有感知的阴蒂 and that it's capable of sensation?
也许吧 我们只知道 Maybe. All we know for sure
如果她六点左右不到家 is she's not gonna be home anywhere near 6:00,
那我们就是扣留了一名失踪未成年 which means we're about to have a missing child on our hands.
我们得赶紧找安德鲁斯 We have to bring Andrews up to speed.
我不该跟你说你快死了 I did a bad job of telling you that you're dying.
还有什么好办法吗 Is there a good way?
我不知道什么时候该撒谎 I can't figure out when I'm supposed to lie,
什么时候该说出部分真相 when I'm supposed to tell part of the truth.
这倒也没什么 And it doesn't really matter,
反正我怎么也弄不明白 because I can't figure out how to do it anyway.
我觉得没问题啊 You did fine with me.
你永远不需要撒谎 You never need to lie.
谎言无法为你遮掩真相 Lies don't protect you from the truth.
我不喜欢你的发型 I don't like your haircut.
好吧 Okay.
也许有时当真相无法帮助人的时候 Maybe sometimes, when the truth can't help someone...
你就该撒个谎了 you should definitely just lie.
你觉得祈祷能帮你做出决定吗 Do you think praying will help you reach a decision?
我已经做决定了 I've already reached a decision.
我祈祷是为了让我觉得好一点 I'm praying to help me find comfort with that decision.
我的家人希望做手术 My family wants the surgery.
那你呢 And what do you want?
我和他们希望的一样 I want what my family wants.
我爱他们 I love them.
但他们也爱你对吧 But they love you, too, right?
他们想要的难道和你不一样吗 Don't they want what you want?
很早之前 我做了个决定 Long ago, I made a decision
无论如何 to be there for them
我都要陪着他们 no matter what.
如果我生命中最后的决定 And if the last choice I make in my life
和那个决定一致 is consistent with that,
我就没什么纠结的 I'm comfortable with that.
我被你惊到了 I'm surprised by you.
我 应该 是判断失误了 I, arguably, made errors in judgment,
但这都是为了帮助病人 but it was all in an effort to help a patient.
对 如果你不想再救治其他病人 Yes, and that would make sense if you thought
以及如果现在外科主任没有空缺 you'd never have another patient ever again.
那样做还说得通 And if there wasn't currently an opening for Chief of Surgery.
我不知道还有这个选择 I didn't know that was on the table.
这就是你和梅伦德斯的不同之处 See, that's the difference between you and Melendez.
毫无疑问 我一升职 I have no doubt that as soon as I got this promotion,
梅伦德斯就会算好了行事 Melendez had done the math and reacted accordingly.
但我猜即使你算过了 But I suspect that even if you had done the math,
也不会改变你处理这个病人的方式 it wouldn't have changed how you handled this patient.
我没觉得这是弱点 I don't view that as a weakness.
我会处理纸面上的事情 I'll handle the administrative fallout.
你 You...
立即通知家长 notify the parents immediately.
不行 I can't.
我们不知道那女孩的真名 We don't know the girl's real name,
并且需要给她持续使用镇静剂 and we have to keep her sedated,
所以我们没法查 so there's no way we can track...
她才十几岁 总有手机的 She's a teenager. She's got a phone.
下次电话一响你就接 Next time it rings, answer it.
-你感受到肠系膜动脉脉搏吗 -对 - You feel the mesenteric artery pulsing? - Yes.
不应该的 你离静脉太近了 You shouldn't. You're too close to the vein.
很好 布朗医生 放置引流管 Great. Dr. Browne, pass a penrose drain through.
电刀 Bovie.
抽吸 Suction.
全都拿出来了 Got it all.
看到胰腺液渗出 I see leaking pancreatic fluid.
它碰到哪里哪里就是个洞 That'll eat holes in everything it touches.
我们的导管接头松了 Our duct tie didn't hold.
抽吸 持针器 Suction. Needle driver.
很好 Excellent.
你找到了一位手术助理护士 You have approved a scrub nurse
一位巡回护士和其他七名人员的人选 and a circulating nurse and seven other personnel.
一切都安排好了 Everyone and everything is covered,
除了主刀的医生 except for an actual surgeon.
对 我觉得可能要推迟手术 Yeah. I think we may have to postpone.
你注意到你的肿瘤暂时停止生长了吗 Have you notified your tumor to stop growing in the interim?
我觉得推迟带来的损伤完全可以 I think any possible damage from a delay
由一位有能力的主刀医生给我的头动刀 may be more than offset by having somebody competent
来弥补上 digging around in my brain.
「有能力的」 "Competent"?
-桑德斯哪里不好 -死亡率百分之六 - What's wrong with Sanders? - 6% mortality rate.
-泰勒呢 -我不喜欢他对颈动脉撕裂的 - Taylor? - I don't like the way he's planning on
计划手术方案 dealing with a carotid tear.
-这和你的肿瘤豪无关联 -但这是原则问题 - That's nowhere near your tumor. - It's the principle.
-昂格呢 -他不喜欢我 - Unger? - He doesn't like me.
-没人喜欢你 -不是的 你不喜欢我 - No one likes you. - No! You don't like me.
和他不喜欢我是不一样的 He doesn't like me. That's two.
就选个人吧 我不管是谁 Just pick a name. I don't care who.
就算不是医生我也不介意 I don't care if they're a doctor.
快选吧 Just pick a name.
因为在接下来的48小时内 你要么做手术 Because in 48 hours, you're either getting your surgery
要么换个新的肿瘤医生 or you're getting a new oncologist.
她很痛苦 She's in pain.
因为你们给她做的手术 That's why she's asleep right now,
她现在才沉睡不醒 because of what you did to her?
我对她做的事 What I did to her
在我看来恰恰证明了你对她做的事 I believe revealed that what you did to her
没有造成我们预想的那么大伤害 didn't do as much damage as we initially feared.
我们希望进行第二次手术 We want to do a second surgery...
你要怎么让她停止受罪 How can you stop her pain?
这叫做阴蒂重建术 It's called clitoral reconstruction.
她的阴蒂神经暴露在外 The nerves of her clitoris are exposed.
我们可以包裹起来 用 We can sheath them using...
这是我们女儿想要的 Our daughter wants this?
亚莎想和其他姑娘一样 Asha wants to be like other girls.
她希望能够 She wants to be able to...
玛拉是这么跟你说的 Mara told you that?
那是我们女儿的名字 That's our daughter's name.
不是亚莎 Not Asha.
你根本不了解她 You don't know her at all.
我们需要通过这次手术来缓解她的疼痛 We need to do this surgery to relieve her pain.
不 一定有别的办法 No. There must be another way.
我们需要不同意见 We want a second opinion.
来自别的医院 Not at this hospital.
我们女儿最快什么时候转院 How soon can our daughter be moved?
打扰了 利姆医生 Excuse me, Dr. Lim.
我是来自儿童保护组织的艾伦·瓦特拉 I am Ellen Vahtra from Child Protective Services.
在我结束审查之前 Until I complete my review,
恐怕你的女儿哪里都去不了 I'm afraid you're not going to be moving your daughter anywhere.
手术怎么样 爸爸还好吗 How did it go? Is Dad okay?
出现了一些并发症 There were complications,
但被我们解决了 but we found solutions.
手术很顺利 我们全部取出来了 It went very well. We got it all.
我的天哪 Oh, my...
还有一些 There's still...
我并不觉得我做的有那么好 I don't think I did that well.
他们太过开心了 They're too happy.
术后并发症还是个严重隐患 他们 Post-surgical complications are still a major concern that they...
让他们好好享受这个好消息吧 Let them enjoy the good news.
是不是欺骗他人让他们开心 Is deceiving someone in a way that makes them happy
好过欺骗他人让他们难过 better than deceiving someone in a way that makes them sad?
肖恩 好像有人找你 Shaun. I think there's someone here to see you.
我刚有空 I had some time,
就想着也许你愿意和我一起吃午餐 so I thought you might want to have some lunch with me?
我没有空 I do not have time.
怎么了 What's wrong?
她对你做了什么 What did she do?
肖恩 肖 Shaun. Sha...
我不懂你为什么不想和莉亚讲话 You don't want to talk to Lea. I don't understand.
我不知道 I don't understand!
这对你或对她都不公平 You're not being fair to her or yourself.
-她对你一直那么好 -她没有 - She's always been nice to you. - No, she hasn't.
她是你的朋友 She's your friend.
不管发生什么 你得和她交流才是 Whatever's happened, you have to talk to her about it.
向她坦白你的感受 Be honest about what you're feeling...
我做不到 I can't be.
你当然做得到 Of course you can.
我不知道 I don't know...
我不知道自己的感受 I don't know how I feel!
我不知道自己的感受就没法坦白 I can't be honest if I don't know how I feel!
我们十六岁的女儿 Our 16-year-old daughter
因为剧烈疼痛而被打了麻醉 is lying in a hospital bed unconscious
现在不省人事地躺在病床上 to protect her from overwhelming pain
全怪这家医院 because of what this place
在未经我们允许时给她做了手术 did to her without our permission.
而你还要来调查我们 And you are investigating us?
你女儿所遭受的痛苦 Your daughter is suffering
是因为你在她两岁时对她施以的虐待 because you butchered her when she was 2 years old.
利姆医生 请不要无端指责 Dr. Lim, please refrain from unsubstantiated allegations.
要么他们是施虐者 要么他们在保护那些施虐者 Either they're the butchers or they're protecting the butchers.
如果不是你干的 那就告诉我们是谁干的 If you didn't do it, tell us who did.
是来自肯尼亚的一个婶婶和祖母 It was an aunt and a grandmother from Kenya.
在我俩去度假时 她们照看的玛拉 They were watching Mara while we were on vacation.
那你一定吓坏了 Well, you must've been horrified.
你们带她去看过医生吗 Did you take her to a doctor?
那个姑娘的性器官上满是瘢痕组织 That girl's sex organs were covered with scar tissue.
她的伤口从没得到过医学处理 She had no medical attention to treat any of her wounds.
她没事 She was fine.
她开开心心 有说有笑的 She was happy, laughing.
没什么大不了的 It's not that big a deal.
我被割过 I was cut.
我的母亲被割过 她的母亲也是同样 My mother was cut. Her mother was cut.
这是将我们和祖先连接起来的仪式 It is a rite of passage connecting our women to their ancestors.
在我们的社会她是找不到丈夫的 如果没有 She will not find a husband in our culture if she's...
那她可以到别处找去 So she'll find someone else.
没什么大不了的 It's not that big a deal.
这对父母早就丧失了 These parents forfeited the right to make any calls
为他们的女儿做出选择的权利 about their daughter a long time ago.
我们的女儿是个优秀学生 Our daughter is an honor student,
高二就上了三门大学先修课程 taking three AP classes in her junior year,
还参加了一个海地的学校援建项目 went on a mission to Haiti to build a school.
我们把孩子教养得很好 We have raised her well.
她是个好姑娘 She is a good person.
我们都为她骄傲 We're proud of her.
我相信她是个好姑娘 I'm sure she is a good person.
但你们无法说服我 But you are not gonna convince me
在玛拉两岁时发生的那件事 that what happened to Mara when she was 2 years old
不是一件暴行 is anything short of an abomination.
但这不是我们今天的重点 But that's not the issue today.
重点是 怎样才能最好地帮助这个姑娘 The issue is, how do we best help this girl now?
阴蒂重建术应该能够保护暴露的神经 The clitoral reconstruction should protect the exposed nerve.
「应该」 "Should"?
在我的医学观点看来 手术的目的 That is the surgery that, in my medical opinion,
就在于此 is called for.
但还有别的办法 But it's not the only option?
我们还能闭合周围神经 We could oblate the peripheral nerves
并切除剩余的阴蒂组织 and remove the remaining clitoral tissue.
这个手术的安全性和刚才的相比呢 And is that surgery safer or more dangerous?
这个更简单 但这不是唯一的考虑因素 It's simpler, but that's not the only factor here.
对我们来说是唯一的因素 It's the only factor to us.
我们希望我们的女儿 We want to know that our daughter
下半辈子不会在疼痛中度过 won't spend the rest of her life in pain.
求您 Please.
暂时地 For a moment,
考虑一下除玛拉的疼痛以外的因素 can we think about something other than Mara's pain?
我们能否考虑一下她的快乐 Can we think about her pleasure?
我们有机会给她 We have a chance to give her
一个健全充实的性生活 a healthy, meaningful sex life.
这是她来这的原因 That is what she came here looking for.
叫醒她 Wake her up.
她很痛苦 她告诉过我她想要什么了 She's in pain, and she's already told me what she wanted.
昨天她要求整形手术 Yesterday, she was requesting cosmetic surgery.
今天你就要她冒着一生疼痛的风险 Today, you're asking her to risk a lifetime of pain
求一份鱼水之欢 for a chance at pleasure.
就我所知 From everything I've heard,
她已经成熟到能为自己做决定 she's mature enough to make the call herself,
就算代价是需要遭受几分钟的痛苦 even if it means suffering for a few minutes to do so.
昂格医生的治疗死亡率 Dr. Unger has a mortality index
不高不低 that is not too high and not too low.
昂格不行 It's not gonna be Unger.
你还没有淘汰柯医生 You have not eliminated Dr. Ko.
还没罢了 Not yet.
我可能需要去其他州寻找神经外科医生 I may have to go out of state to find a neurosurgeon.
而且我可能得找个新的肿瘤医师 Plus, I may have to find myself a new oncologist.
你任用过柯医生很多次 You've used Dr. Ko many times.
你觉得她会治死你的病人吗 Did you think she might kill your patients?
不 No.
你觉得你比他们强吗 Do you think you're better than them?
稍微强点 Yes, a little.
那是个玩笑 That was a joke.
你不想谈这个话题 You don't want to talk about this.
我不想谈论这个 肖恩 No, I don't want to talk about this, Shaun.
所以我才需要酒精 That, in fact, is the point of the alcohol.
好吧 我懂了 Okay, I understand.
很好 Good.
我们为什么不能谈论这个话题 Why can't we talk about it?
因为它令我心烦 Because it's upsetting.
这就是为什么你一直在拖延吗 Is that why you're stalling?
因为你怕死 Because you're afraid of dying?
我不怕死 I'm not afraid of dying.
真的吗 Really?
为什么不怕 Why not?
你应该怕 死亡太吓人了 You should be. Dying is terrible.
是的 死亡很吓人 Yes, dying is terrible.
但还有更可怕的 But there are worse things.
还有什么比死亡更可怕 What's worse than dying?
苟延残喘 Not dying.
这讲不通 That doesn't make sense.
对我来说讲得通 Makes sense to me.
讲不通 That doesn't make sense.
那就是苟延残喘 肖恩 That's the middle ground, Shaun.
头部手术的结果很可能就是 Brain surgeries have a tendency
让你苟延残喘地活着 to end in the middle ground.
就算病人最后只是苟延残喘地活下来 Brain surgeries can be considered a success
头部手术都能被视作成功 even when the patient ends up compromised.
他走不了路 说不了话 He can't walk. He can't talk.
他的手不停地颤抖 His hand can't stop shaking.
这一生有很多方面我都很差劲 I've been terrible at a lot of things in my life,
但我他妈的很聪明 but I am damn smart.
我他妈是个很好的外科医生 And I am a damn good surgeon.
如果我失去了这些 And if I can't be those things,
我不知道我会是谁 then I don't know who I'd be.
你会是我的朋友 You'd be my friend.
谢谢你 肖恩 Well, thank you, Shaun.
我得走了 我的病人不行了 I have to go. My patient just crashed.
那对你来说不够 对吗 It's not enough. Is it?
不够 No.
对不起 不够 I'm sorry it isn't.
妈妈 爸爸 Mom. Dad.
我们在这 We're here.
我们爱你 We love you.
我们不懂你为什么要疏远我们 We just don't understand why you would turn your back.
你好 玛拉 Hello, Mara.
我叫艾伦·瓦特拉 一名社会工作者 I'm Ellen Vahtra. I'm a social worker.
你的父母知道发生了什么 Your parents know what happened,
利姆医生给你做了神经麻醉 and Dr. Lim gave you a nerve block.
好疼 还是好疼 It hurts. It still hurts.
我知道 我们会尽快让你 I understand that, and we are going to try to get you
再次入睡 back to sleep as quickly as possible.
但在你手术期间发生了一些事 But something happened during your surgery,
我们需要你做出下一步的决定 and we need you to make a decision about what is done next.
我们认为 除了你孩童时发生的事 We believe that, despite what was done to you as a child,
你之所以这么疼也是因为你的阴蒂里 the reason you're in so much pain because you still have
还有功能正常的神经 functioning nerves in your clitoris,
这些神经被瘢痕组织包围 nerves that had been covered with scar tissue.
我想修复它 I'd like to repair that.
我们能够让你生理上得到完整 We can make you physiologically complete.
但我们没法保证一定会奏效 But there's no guarantee that it would work.
我有自信 I'm confident.
我们有个更好的选择 There is a safer choice.
我们可以移除你的阴蒂 We could...remove your entire clitoris.
你来选择 This is your choice.
无论怎样我们都会保护你 You will be protected no matter what.
移除它 Take it out.
玛拉 我们可以让你完整 Mara, we can make you whole...
我错了一次 移除它 I made a mistake. Take it out.
她还处于药物治疗 她很痛苦 She's on medication. She's in pain...
利姆医生 拜托让她睡吧 Dr. Lim, please let her go back to sleep.
准备手术 移除她受损的组织 And prepare to operate to remove the damaged tissue.
上新鲜冷冻血浆 Hang fresh, frozen plasma, too.
他可能出现弥散性血管内凝血 Looks like he's going into DIC.
再给我一个止血钳 血压71/53 Give me another hemostat. BP's 71 over 53.
我们应该事先警告家人的 We should have warned the family.
什么都看不见 血太多了 Can't see anything in here. There's too much blood.
-快吸 -我觉得你碰到肝动脉了 - More suction. - I think you got the hepatic artery.
事先警告不会起到任何变化 The warning wouldn't have made any difference.
出血没有减缓 The bleeding is not slowing down.
我们需要将大动脉连接到腹部 We need to send the aorta to the celiac.
我得看见它才能夹住它 I need to see it to clamp it.
他们本可以有所准备 They would have been prepared.
收缩压54 他快不行了 A-line systolic's 54. He's bottoming out.
不 他们不会 No, they wouldn't.
你们两个闭嘴 缝合腹腔 You two, shut up and pack his abdomen with laps
我得收拾这个烂摊子 while I sort through this mess.
我不做 I won't do it.
我们可以上诉吗 你知道吗 Can we appeal this? Do you know?
我和我们的法律团队谈过了 I've spoken with our legal department.
除非我们可以证明那个社会工作者有偏见 Unless we can prove the social worker was biased,
不然我们黔驴技穷 we are stuck with this ruling.
那你能得到的只有「我不做」 Well, then you're also stuck with "I won't do it."
你是个好医生 医院会想念你的 You're a good doctor. This hospital will miss you.
因为我不想虐待一个青少女你就要辞退我 You're gonna fire me because I won't butcher a teenage girl?
当然 Of course I am.
这所医院会受到法律起诉 会被停业 This hospital will face lawsuits, suspensions,
也许还有犯罪指控 perhaps criminal charges,
这个小女孩终会接受这场你不喜欢的手术 and this little girl will still get the surgery you hate.
利姆医生能再和玛拉谈一下吗 Could Dr. Lim at least talk to Mara again?
你想在她那么疼的时候叫醒她 You want to wake her up again in pain?
每个女人都有权利 Every woman deserves the right
在不受父母影响的情况下 to make decisions about her sexuality
作出关于她自己性生活的决定 without her parents hanging over her.
好吧 Okay.
我十五岁的时候 When I was 15 years old,
我父亲发现我和一个男孩在一起 my father caught me with a boy.
我们没有真的做什么 I mean, we weren't doing it,
但我没穿上衣 but my top was off and
不重要了 well, it doesn't matter.
我父亲打了我 My father hit me.
我这里还留着个小伤疤 I still have a small scar.
从此我们父女就不再亲近了 Our relationship was never the same.
但这就是成长的过程 But that's what growing up is.
不是人人都被叫过婊子 Not everyone gets called a slut.
或被虐待 Not everyone gets butchered.
但每个人都会成为男人或女人 But everyone becomes a man or a woman
而不再是孩子 and stops being a child.
我想从你脸颊里取一片组织 I want to take a piece of tissue from inside your cheek
移植到你的阴蒂上 and I want to graft it to your clitoris.
我们能让你感受到...爱 We can make you feel...love.
我不能背叛我的家人和传统 I can't turn my back on my family, on my traditions.
传统 Traditions
把我们与过去相连 connect us to the past.
那么未来呢 What about the future?
拜托了 Please.
不 我很疼 No. I'm in pain.
给他的主动脉做血流阻断 Cross-clamping his aorta.
出现心室纤颤 He's in ventricular fibrillation.
开始胸外心脏按压 Starting chest compressions.
-好了 -大家都让开 - Okay. - Everybody clear.
脸颊也准备好 Prep the cheek, as well.
她要接受移植 文书上没写 She's taking the graft? The paperwork doesn't say...
她口头许可了 She consented verbally.
没必要的话 我们不想让她 We didn't want to keep her awake any longer
长时间醒着 than absolutely necessary.
她如果想被帮助的话 I wanted to help her as much as you...
我和你一样想帮她 when she wanted help.
-但如果她不想 -她想 - But if she doesn't want this... - She wants this.
利姆医生刚刚说了 Dr. Lim just told us.
脸颊准备好 Prep the cheek.
我来跟他的家人说 I'll tell the family.
不 No.
克莱尔 你去 Claire, you do it.
这不是学习的好时候 This isn't the time for learning.
我很遗憾 I'm sorry.
保罗在手术中去世了 Paul died during surgery.
他的十二指肠动脉破裂 He had a gastroduodenal artery rupture.
这是惠普尔手术的常见并发症 It's a common complication of a Whipple surgery,
尤其当患者的癌症 especially when someone's cancer was...
已经像他一样到了晚期 as advanced as his was.
我们做了能做的一切 We...did everything we could for as long as we could.
他没有受苦 He didn't suffer.
都怪你 You did this to him.
爸爸不想做手术的 Dad didn't want this.
你看到他的表情了 他当时很害怕 You saw that look on his face. He was scared.
就我的经验而言 事后再追责毫无益处 In my experience, it does no good to dwell...
他当然害怕了 Of course he was scared.
但那不意味着 That doesn't mean...
他只想好好过完那最后几个月 He just wanted to live his last few months.
别说了 Stop it.
没人逼着你们的爸爸做什么事 Nobody made your father do anything.
他知道有风险 He knew the risks.
你也有错 妈妈 It's your fault, too, Mom.
我们所有人 All of us.
他愿意为我们做任何事 He would do anything for us.
我们害死了爸爸 We killed our father.
不是的 It's not true.
保罗想做手术 Paul wanted this surgery.
他跟我说过的 He told me he wanted this surgery.
那是真的吗 Was that true?
保罗跟我说过 Paul told me...
当说出真相也于事无补时 when the truth can't help someone,
我们应该说谎 we should lie.
妈妈 Mom?
你怎么样 还疼吗 How are you? Does anything hurt?
不怎么疼 我好多了 Not much. I'm better.
看起来她没事了 Looks like she's doing well.
谢谢你 医生 Thank you, Doctor.
手术的地方应该还是会有些不适 There should still be some discomfort at the surgical site.
护士会给你 A nurse will bring you some...
抱歉 Sorry.
护士会给你些泰诺 A nurse will bring you some Tylenol,
应该就足够了 which should really be all you need.
谢谢你 Thank you.
你会很好的 You're gonna be great.
你在这儿 You're here.
是的 我住在这 Yes. I live here.
你知道的 You know that.
我过去几天都有点开始怀疑了 Well, I was starting to doubt it the last couple of days.
我睡了以后你才回家 You come home after I'm asleep.
我还没醒你就走了 You leave before I can even get up.
谢谢 Thank you.
请拿走这个 Please take this.
这是你的 肖恩 No, this is yours, Shaun.
我给你留作纪念的 I gave it to you to remember me by.
那很伤人 It hurt.
我不想告诉你真相 I didn't want to tell you the truth
是因为我不知道真相 because I didn't know it,
但我必须说实话 因为这对事情有帮助 but I have to tell you the truth because it will help.
我每晚回家 Every night, I would come home,
看到那个棒球 and I would look at that baseball,
就会想起你 and I would think of you.
棒球还在这里 The baseball was here,
但你不在了 but you weren't.
这很感人 That's sweet.
不 No, it isn't.
这很伤人 It hurt.
你伤害了我 You hurt me.
肖恩 你知道的 Okay, Shaun, you know...
你离开了 这很伤人 You went away, and it hurt,
这一直折磨着我 而现在你回来了 and it kept hurting, and now you're back.
如果你留下 你还会再离开 If you stay, you will go away again,
又会再一次伤害我 and it will hurt again.
所以我想让你回郝尔希镇去 So I want you to go back to Hershey.
我知道你不是这个意思 I know you don't mean that, and I know...
请你回郝尔希镇去吧 Please go back to Hershey
或者其他任何地方 or anywhere other than here!
感觉还好吗 Feeling okay?
当然 非常好 Yeah, sure, superduper.
我想感谢你的信任 I want to thank you for your trust.
我会尽全力不辜负你的信任 I'll do my best to deserve it.
我也只能这样祈求了 Well, that's all I can ask.
你知道这流程的 You know the drill.
十 10...
九 9...
八 8...
七 7...