你们在看什么 What are you looking at?
我演的一次大战电影海报 你看 A poster for that WWI movie I'm in. Check it out.
哇 看起来真的好暴力 Wow! It looks really violent!
我知道 我即将在各大戏院露面 I know. I'm coming soon to a theater near you.
我用的是THX系统 我不适合孩子们观看 I'm in THX. I'm unsuitable for children!
- 我等不及要看这个 - 它有拿下奥斯卡金像奖的希望 - I cannot wait to see this. - It's generating Oscar buzz.
- 是我开始的 - 我以为是我 - I started that! - I thought I did!
知道吗 我刚刚跟经纪人谈过… I just talked to my agent...
下星期有首映会 你们通通被邀请了 ...and the premiere is next week and you're all invited!
- 我们要坐加长礼车吗 - 当然 - Will we take a limo? - Sure!
我喜欢在非葬礼的时候搭加长礼车 I love taking limos when nobody died.
显然我没办法去 Well, I won't be able to come.
那些还没查过日历的人听好了 今天是我的预产期 For those who haven't checked their calendars, today's my due date.
我想在此谢谢你们 一直很支持我 I want to thank you guys for how great you've been during this.
没有你们我绝对办不到 我很喜欢过去的九个月 I couldn't have done it without you. I loved these last 9 months.
虽然我很期待下一个阶段… I'm looking forward to the next part...
我会很怀念怀孕的感觉 ...but I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
没错 我还是没生 That's right. Still no baby.
快点 大家快让位 Come on, people, make some room.
甜心 或许你坐在这里会比较舒服 Uh, sweetie, maybe you'd be more comfortable here.
你 You.
你似乎做的还不够多 Like you haven't done enough.
我知道你很难过 我真的希望能帮上忙 I know you're miserable. I wish there was something I could do.
我希望我是海马 I wish I were a sea horse.
因为是公海马负责孵育小宝宝 Because with sea horses, it's the male. They carry the babies.
而且 我可以逃到很远的海里 And then also, um, I'd be far away in the sea.
天啊 God.
我这辈子从来没有这么难受过 I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life.
我了解 我记得… I know. I remember toward the end
那是个很棒的故事 先帮我拿冰茶来再说 That's a great story. Tell it while you're getting me some iced tea.
天啊 滚出来 滚出来 滚出来 Oh, God, get out! Get out, get out, get out!
走吧 Let's.
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
嘿 你的宝宝生了吗 Hey, did you have the baby yet?
你要我坐在你身上吗 因为我真的会那么做 Do you want me to sit on you? Because I'll do it.
- 你这么早回这里做什么 - 公司要我回家 - What are you doing here? - They sent me home from work.
他们说"开始休产假 回家去休息吧" They said, "Start your maternity leave now. Just rest."
你知道吗 去他们的 You know what? Screw them!
如果他们不要我待在那里 我可以跟你们鬼混 If they don't want me there, I'll hang out with you guys.
或许你可以去做义工 Or you could do volunteer work.
- 喂 - 乔伊 我是伊斯特 - Hello? - Joey, it's Estelle.
好消息 我帮你跟你的一位朋友弄到首映会的门票 I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
- 你说我可以拿六张票 - 我把四张拿去网站拍卖了 - You told me I could have six tickets. - I sold four on eBay.
你得坐在帅哥372旁边 You'll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
就那样 我只能带一位朋友去 So that's it? I only get to bring one guest?
对 你什么时候来接我 Yeah. What time do you want to pick me up?
喂 Hello?
你们听到了吗 我只能带一位朋友参加首映会 You hear that? I only get one extra ticket.
所以我得在你们三个跟罗斯之间做挑选 So somehow I have to pick between you three and Ross.
- 我呢 - 你说过你不想去 - What about me? - You said you didn't want to go.
没错 但我还是希望有被重视的感觉 I would still like to be acknowledged.
- 我怀孕了就变成隐形人 - 你绝不是隐形人 - Because I'm pregnant, I'm invisible? - Definitely not invisible.
罗斯根本不在这里 所以他出局了 Ross didn't care enough to be here, so he's out.
- 你打瞌睡你就输了 - 他没有打瞌睡 他在教书 - You snooze, you lose. - He's not snoozing. He's teaching class.
那么一定有人在打瞌睡 Well, then somebody's snoozing.
乔伊 我不是要你听我的 但如果你选了我… And, Joey, not that this should, uh, affect you at all, but, um, if you pick me...
我计划穿露到这里的紧身洋装 ...I was planning on wearing a sequin dress out down to here.
- 我还没有看过这套洋装 - 看过电影明星穿 - I haven't seen this dress. - Star in a movie.
你想挑谁都可以 听你的心说话 它跟你说了什么 Pick whoever you want. Listen to your heart. What does it tell you?
菲比… Phoebe.Phoebe.Phoebe.
这个嘛… Well, uh...
我想我要挑钱德 I think I want to take Chandler.
菲比… Phoebe,Phoebe,Phoebe.
- 你要挑我 - 对 抱歉 我希望能带大家去 - You want to take me? - Yeah, I wish I could take everybody.
但钱德一直都很支持我的工作 But Chandler's always supported my career.
他帮我付表演课跟沙龙照等等的费用 He's paid for acting classes, headshots and stuff.
这就是我回报你的方式 This will be my way of paying you back.
所以你根本打算不还我钱 So you're never actually going to pay me back?
只因为他帮你付沙龙照的钱 你就要选他 Just because he paid for your headshots, you're gonna take him?
乔伊 我想你不了解那件洋装有多露 I don't think you're comprehending just how slutty this dress is.
不光只因为他付了钱 他真的很支持我 你们知道吗 It's not just the stuff he paid for. It's everything, you know?
他跟我对台词 我很紧张时陪我去试镜 He read lines with me. He went with me on auditions.
当我没拿到我要的角色时 他会安慰我 Then he consoled me after I didn't get parts.
你一直相信我 即使连我都不相信自己 You always believed in me, man, even when I didn't.
我一直都知道你会成功 我非常以你为荣 I always knew you were gonna make it. I'm so proud of you.
谢谢 那对我来说很重要 Thanks, that means a lot to me.
摩妮卡 或许他们之中有人想穿你的洋装 Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
- 我得去刮胡子 - 对 我得去吐痰了 - I'm gonna go shave. Ahem. - Yeah, well, I'm gonna go, uh, spit.
我得去尿尿了 Ugh, I have to pee.
五分钟后如果我没出来 那是因为我被花香味熏死了 If I don't come out, it's because I've choked to death on the potpourri stink.
等她出来时你捏住她的鼻子 我对她的嘴巴吹气 You hold her nose, I'll blow in her mouth and the kid'll just...
宝宝就会掉出来 ...out of her.
她晚了一个星期 今天她一定会生 对吧 She's a week late. She's got to have it today.
我不知道 我想应该还要一阵子 I don't know. I think it's still gonna be a while.
你想来点刺激的吗 Hmm. Care to make it interesting?
- 我跟你赌她明天此时会生 - 没问题 - I bet you she'll have it tomorrow. - You're on.
- 好吧 赌多少 - 10万 - Okay, how much? - One hundred thousand dollars.
- 50块如何 - 我会打电话到苏黎世请他们汇钱来 - How about 50 bucks? - I'll call Zurich and move some money.
好了 这次轮到谁来扶我 All right, whose turn is it to help me get up?
没有人在 Ahem, no one's here.
该死 Oh, damn it.
（"在那边" 世界首映会）
真是太刺激 太棒了 好多人帮我们拍照 我看起来如何 This is exciting. So glamorous! People taking our picture. How do I look?
- 太高了一点 - 什么 - A little tall. - What?
你能不能蹲低一点 让我看起来高一点 Would you crouch down a bit so that I look taller?
这样好 There you go.
真的是太光鲜了 It's just so glamorous.
摩妮卡 瑞秋来了 Oh, hey, Mon? Rach is here.
你还没生 And you're still pregnant.
真对不起 我知道你很不舒服 I'm sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are.
你知道吗 你看起来棒极了 - You know what? You look great. - Aw.
就跟50块钞票一样 Yeah, like 50 bucks.
我得去尿尿 很明显地这个宝宝 把我的膀胱当成玩具捏 I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy.
该死 50块拿去 Damn it. Here's your 50 bucks.
你会输真的是太有趣了… 我忘了 你喜欢输吗 That's interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
好了 别说了 All right, stop it.
- 我们加倍来赌她明天会生 - 好吧 - Double or nothing she has it tomorrow. - Fine.
好的 Okay.
在那之前 葛兰特将军 你为什么不在这里…扎营 Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp right there?
- 瑞秋在这里吗 我们得去看医生 - 在厕所里 - Rachel here? We have an appointment. - In the bathroom.
- 瑞秋 我们得走了 - 马上好 - Rach, we gotta go. - In a minute!
大家问我们为什么不在一起 我不知道该怎么告诉他们 People ask why we're not together. I just don't know what to tell them.
好吧 我们该走了 All right, all right, let's go.
你要不要先去换衣服 Uh, do you want to go change first?
医生会等我们 但如果你快一点… The doctor's keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry...
- 不 我很好 真的 - 你不觉那套衣服很不适当吗 - No, I'm fine. - You don't think that's inappropriate?
- 什么 - 天啊 别火上加油 - What? - Good God, man. Don't anger it.
罗斯 外面有华氏一百度 这是几星期以来我第一次… Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am...
好吧 随便你 你是妈咪 Fine. Whatever you want. You're the mommy.
不 老兄 别叫我"妈味" Uh-uh, pal! Don't call me "Mommy."
你那样叫你妈就已经够糟了 It's bad enough you call your own mother that.
这一次我同意她的说法 I'm actually with her on this one.
我以为我知道敌人是谁 但敌人却是你 I thought I knew who the enemy was...
好吧 来了 我的打斗戏要开始了 Okay, this is it. This is my big fight scene coming up.
我要打倒82地面师的每个人 I'm fighting for every man in the 82nd Ground Division.
- 罗斯 - 什么事 - Ross? - Yeah?
我能问你一件事吗 - Can I ask you something? - Uh-huh.
卡萝怀小班的时候… When Carol was pregnant with Ben...
你有这么暴躁吗 ...were you this irritating?
- 喔 - 你说什么 - Wow. - Excuse me?
没事 你只是… Uh, nothing. You're just, uh...
你最近对我很不耐烦 我不想惹毛你 You've been a little short with me lately. I'm not trying to irritate you.
那么你一定是有惹毛我的天分 Well, then, you must have a natural talent for it.
医生马上到 在那之前我们还是别说话 The doctor will be in soon. Why don't we not speak until then?
好吧 Okay.
说真的 呼吸大声一点 罗斯 那真的太棒了 Seriously. Breathe louder, Ross. That's great.
我们应该问医生 她知不知道… We should ask the doctor if she even knows...
怎么接生半人半恶魔的孩子 ...how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil!
- 朗医生 你好吗 - 你好 - Hi, Dr. Long. How are you? - Hello.
你对她很好 You're nice to her.
她有药 She has the drugs.
- 我很快帮你检查一下 - 好的 - We'll do a quick check. - Okay.
- 已经迟了八天吗 - 对 - Eight days late, huh? - Yeah.
你一定会很不舒服 You must be getting uncomfortable.
对 只有一点 Yeah, just a tad.
宝宝已经下降了八成 就快了 但你可能还得等上一阵子 You're 80 percent effaced. You're on your way. It still could last a while.
- 如果你很急 有些方式可以帮助你 - 那就做吧 - There are ways to help things along. - Do them!
事实上你可以用这些方法在家做治疗 Actually, they're things you can do. Home remedies.
根据我的经验 我发现有些方法很有效 In my experience, I've found some are very effective.
- 我们愿意尝试任何事 - 好 你可以喝一种药草茶 - Well, we are ready to try anything. - There's an herbal tea you can drink.
好的 Okay.
你可以喝篦麻子油 吃辣的食物 You can take some castor oil. There's spicy foods.
我们全部都愿意 We will do all of those.
- 散很久的步 - 很好 没问题 - Taking a long walk. - Good. Done.
根据证实最有效的方法就是做爱 And there's the one that's proved most effective: sex.
你一定是在开玩笑 You've got to be kidding me.
演的好 乔伊 太棒了 一流的 Good job, Joe! Well done! Top-notch!
- 你真的喜欢吗 - 喜欢 - You liked it'? You really liked it? - Oh, yeah!
- 你喜欢哪个部分 - 全部 我们走吧 - Well, which part exactly? - The whole thing! Here we go!
不 说详细一点 No, no, no. Give me some specifics.
我喜欢细节 细节是最棒的 I loved the specifics. The specifics were the best part.
袋鼠的那一段呢 你喜欢吗 Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did you like that part?
看到一次大战的电影里出现袋鼠 我吓了一大跳 I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
你睡着了 You fell asleep!
片中没有袋鼠 他们没有接纳我的意见 There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions!
- 谢谢你来看 回头见 - 别走了 我很抱歉 - Thanks for coming. See you later. - Don't go. I'm so sorry.
听着 这家伙睡着了 他也睡着了 生他的气啊 Look, this guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him!
或是叫救护车来 Or call an ambulance!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
医生说什么 知道宝宝何时会出生吗 What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?
不知道 她教我们如何加速生产的脚步 No. She gave us ideas on how to induce labor.
我们都试过了 We tried them all.
我们去散步 喝了茶 吃篦麻子油跟辣的食物 通通没用 We went for a walk, uh, we tried tea, castor oil, spicy food. Nothing worked.
有个方法我们没试 There is one thing we didn't try.
但有人觉得那会惹来大麻烦 But someone thinks that that will open up a can of worms.
什么办法 如果有办法让宝宝在今天出生… If it's gonna help bring the baby here, today...
我想你们应该试试看 ...I think you should do it.
- 我们得做爱 - 就做啊 - It's sex. - Do it!
- 摩妮卡 - 你们很久没做爱了 - Monica. - It's been a really long time for you.
我是说女人也有需要 快去吧 满足你的需要 I mean, women have needs. Do it. Get yours.
这个嘛 我不知道… Oh, I don't know about that.
我想如果你们两个做爱 结果一定会很糟糕 I think if the two of you had sex, the repercussions would be catastrophic.
好吧 我们实际一点 All right, let's be practical.
如果罗斯不愿意 不只他能跟你做爱 If Ross isn't willing, he's not the only guy you can have sex with.
你可以借用钱德 钱德很厉害 You could borrow Chandler. Chandler is good.
摩妮卡 你是怎么了 Monica, what is the matter with you?
- 我只是希望宝宝能在今天出生 - 为什么一定要今天 - I just want the baby to be born today. - Why today?
好吧 Okay, fine.
我一直在跟菲比打赌你会生 我不想再输钱了 I bet Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby, and I don't want to lose again.
什么 她这么痛苦 你却在赢钱 What? While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money?
你们拿朋友是否会持续这种难忍的痛苦来当赌注 You're betting on your friend staying in this misery?
- 我要赌 - 什么 - I'll take that bet. - What?
我已经够惨了 还不如找点钱赚 I'm miserable. I may as well make some money out of it.
我也可以加入吗 Can I get some of that action?
等等 现在变成我跟你们三个对赌 I'm betting against all of you?
别担心 我真的觉得应该是明天 I really feel like tomorrow it's gonna happen.
好吧 Okay.
嘿 睡美人 Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
你跑到哪里去了 我想跟你谈一谈 我还是很难过 Where have you been? I want to talk to you. I still feel bad.
不 你很难过 你睡不着吗 Oh, no. Were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我来这里解决我们之间的问题 你帮了我很多忙 The reason I came over is to settle things between us.
我请你去看首映会报答你 但你睡着了 I wanted to pay you back with the premiere, but you missed it.
- 好 我欠你多少钱 - 什么 - So how much do I owe you? - What?
- 说个数字 我不想欠你 - 你什么都不欠我 - I don't want to owe you anything. - You don't owe me.
- 我不要你的… - 我们得这么做 - I don't want your... - Ah, ah, ah. We're doing this!
你帮我付第一次沙龙照的费用 多少钱 You got me my first headshots. How much?
- 我不知道 五百块 - 好吧 五百块 还有呢 - I don't know, uh, $500. - Okay, $500. What else?
还有第二组沙龙照 可怕的"怪物"大头照 Then there was the second set. The infamous "booger" headshots.
好吧 再加五百块 五百加五百是… Okay, so that's another 500. That's 500 and 500. That's...
- 你需要计算机吗 - 谢谢 - You want a calculator? - Please.
拿去 Here.
好吧 还有呢 All right, what else?
还有表演课 舞台打斗课 踢踏舞课… Well, uh, there's acting classes, stage-combat classes, tap classes...
还不只是那些 Which we're still keeping under our hats.
我付钱请教练教你说南方腔 That dialect coach who helped you with a Southern accent.
上了20小时的课后 你还是满口牙买加腔 Which, after 20 hours of lessons, still came out Jamaican.
你在胡说什么 What the hell are you talking about?
"南方将会再起" The South will rise again, man.
- 对 那笔钱花得很值得 - 对 - Yes, money well-spent. - Yeah.
好吧 还有呢 房租 Okay, what else? Rent.
两 三年的房租杂文费 伙食费… Uh, two, three years of rent, utilities, food...
好吧 我写张支票给你 Okay, so I'm writing you a check for...
你看我的电影看到睡着了 没什么大不了的 对吧 So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal, right?
这玩意要怎么消除 How do you clear this thing?
快 把你的墨西哥卷吃掉 Finish your enchilada.
罗斯 我们试过所有的辣食物 根本没用 Ross, we've tried all the spicy food. It's not working.
好吧 拿去 吃根辣椒 Okay, here, have one of these peppers.
天啊 好辣 我的天啊 Oh, God. So hot. Oh, my God.
还有 拿过辣椒后别用手摸眼睛 By the way, you don't want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
我没有感觉 I am feeling nothing.
说到辣 看到你那么做… Speaking of hot, watching you do that...
真的让我想跟你做爱 ...really makes me want to have sex with you.
- 另闹了 - 快点 我们为什么要浪费时间 - Stop it. - Come on! Why are we wasting time?
我们知道会有用 这是医生的建议 We know it's gonna work. It's doctor-recommended.
抱歉 但我们有言在先 天啊 我快辣死了 I'm sorry. But we have to have some boundaries. My God, I'm dying.
得了吧 我们以前做过 可以再做一次 We've done it before. We'll do it again.
那是结束怀孕的好办法 It'll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
我不会因为要让你生孩子 就跟你做爱 I'm not gonna make love to you so you'll go into labor.
做爱 你是娘娘腔吗 Make love'? What are you, a girl?
那真是惹毛男人最棒的方法 Always a great way to get into a man's pants.
你只是在提供服务 把我当成一罐番茄酱 You'll be performing a service. Think of me as a ketchup bottle.
有时候你得敲敲瓶底 才能把番茄酱倒出来 Sometimes, you have to bang on the end of it to get it to come out.
我喜欢你说脏话的样子 I love when you talk dirty to me.
我知道 你说的对 那一点都不性感 Oh, I know it. You're right. That's not sexy.
喔 我的叉子掉了 Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork.
让我弯下腰来捡它 Let me just bend over and get it.
喔 天啊 Oh, God!
好吧 够了 这是不可能发生的 Okay, enough. This is not going to happen.
来吧 罗斯 我真的很难受 Come on, Ross. I'm miserable here.
来吧 这是你惹出来的 你得结束它 Come on, you started this, now you finish it!
快点 懦夫 跟我做爱 Come on, wuss. Make love to me.
- 你知道吗 - 什么 - You know what? - What?
算了 Forget it.
怎么了 罗斯 你不想谈吗 What now, Ross, you're not gonna talk?
你到底要惹我惹到什么时候 How on earth will you ever annoy me?
等一下 我知道了 Oh, wait a minute, I know.
你觉得辣椒能治好你的鼻窦炎 但是你错了 You'd think the jalapeno would clear up your sinuses, but no!
那还是不够… 你在做什么 That's not enough... What are you doing?
我要让你把宝宝生出来 I'm getting that baby out of you!
- 天啊 - 我知道 - Oh, God! - I know.
不… Oh, no, no, no.
我想我的羊水破了 I think my water just broke.
我太厉害了 I am good!
好吧 我拿了枕头 还有包包 Okay, I got the pillow. Uh, I got the bag.
- 你拿了钥匙吗 - 我拿了 - You got the keys? - I got the keys. Okay.
好 Okay.
- 嘿 - 什么 - Hey. - Yeah?
我们的宝宝要出生了 We're having a baby.
我还来不及看书上这个部分 但我们有时间… I didn't, uh, have time to read this part of the books, but do we have time...?
- 我们的时间不多 - 好吧 我们走吧 - Not so much. - Okay, let's go.
- 两百 - 谢谢 - Two hundred. - Thank you.
够了 我不在乎宝宝何时出生 我不要赌了 That's it. I don't care when the baby comes. No more betting.
好吧 Okay.
喂 Hello?
好 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay.
我们再赌一次也无妨 I guess we could bet one more time.
- 瑞秋要生了吗 - 你怎么知道 - Is Rachel having the baby? - How did you know that?
- 乔伊 钱德 时间到了 - 他们在咖啡厅 - Joey! Chandler! It's time! - They're at the coffee house.
你什么都知道 You know everything!
等一下 我跟你赌宝宝超过七磅重 Wait. I bet you the baby is over 7 pounds.
v我跟你赌宝宝有头发 我跟你赌是女儿 I bet you it has hair! I bet you it's a girl.
- 我们知道她要生女儿 - 我给你很高的赔率 - We know it's a girl. - I'll give you really good odds.