好了 这是全新的一天 关于瑞秋那件事呢 All right, it's a new day. That stuff about Rachel?
现在你没有感觉 那太疯了 你没事 你好的不得了 You don't feel that now. It was crazy. You're fine. You're better than fine.
没错 就像你朋友汤尼说的 "太帅了" You are, as your friend Tony would say, "Great!"
一切都很正常 瑞秋她只是你的朋友 Everything's normal. She's just your friend, Rachel.
你的朋友瑞秋 你的朋友瑞秋 Your friend, Rachel. Your friend. Rachel.
- 嗨 甜心 - 嗨 她是你女朋友瑞秋 - Hi, sweetie. JOEY: Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel!
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 # # So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 # # Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 # # It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 日复一日 年复一年 # # When it hasn't been your day, #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 # # your week, your month, or even your year #
# 你我永不离弃 # # but I'll be there for you #
# 你我相偎相依 # # 'Cause you're there for me too #
嗨 Hi.
你…你很兴奋吗 Are you...? Are you high?
我刚刚泡了一个最舒服的澡 I had the most amazing bath.
- 真的吗 我不喜欢泡澡 - 你喜欢跟我泡鸳鸯浴 - Really? I don't like baths. - You like them with me.
甜心 我不是喜欢泡澡 我喜欢看全身湿答答的裸体女人 Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy. It's the wet, naked lady.
- 泡澡能让你放松 - 真的吗 你在里面做什么 - Baths are so relaxing. - Really? What do you do?
你坐在那里 被自己的脏水泡着 You just sit in there, stewing in your own filth.
你觉得我有多脏呢 How dirty do you think I am?
如果有蜡烛 泡泡跟音乐 你一定会喜欢它的 If you had some candles and bubbles and music, you'd love it.
它会让你完全地放松 It'd take all your stress away.
现在是星期三两点 我正在看越野单车赛 It's 2:00 on Wednesday, I'm watching Road Rules.
你觉得我的压力会有多大 How stressed am I?
钱德 你有空吗 我真的需要跟你谈一谈 Hey, Chandler. I really need to talk to you.
对 这是冷比萨谈话 还是烤肉剩菜谈话 Oh, uh, yeah. Is this a cold pizza or a leftover-meat loaf talk?
- 都不是 - 天啊 发生了什么事 - Well, neither. - Oh, my God, what's up?
我不知道 那只是…最近我觉得… I don't know. It's just... Lately, I've been feeling...
好吧 事情是这样的 Okay, here's what it is. Heh.
- 我觉得好多了 谢谢 - 等一下 回来吧 - I feel a lot better. Thanks. - Wait a minute. Just come back.
好吧 你跟摩妮卡当了很久的朋友 Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time.
当然这是有规则的 之后你们去了伦敦 And sure, there are rules. But then you went to London.
但那不一样 这也是有规则的 你了解我的意思吗 But that's different. There are rules there too, know what I mean?
是吗 Do you?
对你们来说是不一样的 你们刚好去了同一个地方 对吧 It was different for you guys. You were both in the same place.
- 在伦敦 - 对 - In London. - Yeah.
对 摩妮卡跟我在伦敦时 我们刚好都在那里 Yes, when Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
你知道吗 这是个烂主意 算了 This is a bad idea. Forget all about it.
听着 帮我一个忙 别把这件事说出去 This conversation, between you and me.
我会尽力的 If that.
（中央咖啡厅）
罗斯 别忘了 明天我们要一起去产检 Hi. Oh, Ross, don't forget that doctor's appointment.
- 好的 - 你们要知道宝宝的性别 - Right. - To find out the sex of the baby?
不 我们不想知道 我们只在乎宝宝是不是健康快乐 We don't wanna know as long as it's happy and healthy.
- 对 健康快乐 还有可爱 - 跟聪明 - Yep, healthy. And cute. - And smart.
- 受欢迎 - 还要有科学精神 - Popular. - With an aptitude for science.
你们两个说的是同一个宝宝吗 Are you two talking about the same baby?
- 你们想到名字了吗 - 对 我想到一大堆 - Have you thought of names? - Oh, yeah. I've come up with a bunch.
- 真的吗 我也是 - 我也是 - Really? Me too. - Me too.
真的 Really?
如果是女孩就叫菲比 如果是男孩就叫菲宝 If it's a girl, Phoebe. And if it's a boy, Pheebo.
或许吧 但想些备用名字 应该无伤大雅 Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, you know?
- 瑞秋 你想到什么名字 - 好吧 - Rach, what were you thinking? - Okay.
我想如果是女孩 Um, I was thinking if it's a girl...
叫她珊德妮好吗 那是法文 ...how about Sandrene? It's French.
那很适合化学溶剂公司 That's a really pretty name for an industrial solvent.
- 好吧 你想到什么 - 我想到男生的名字 - Fine. What do you have? - It's for a boy.
我知道稍微有点夸张 但是… I know it's a little out there, but...
达尔文 ...Darwin.
天啊 我们的孩子会在操场上被打死 Our child will be beaten in the schoolyard.
对 被珊德妮打死 Yeah, by Sandrene.
你会那么说因为我不喜欢你想的名字 You're saying that because I said no to you.
我真的没有 I'm really, really not.
你们何不各想五个名字 How about you each get five vetoes?
- 好的 - 听起来很公平 - All right. - That sounds fair.
我想你不需要 听着 I don't think you'll need it.
如果是女孩就叫做小雨 If it's a girl, Rain.
- 否决 - 为什么 - Veto. - Why?
小雨 "嗨 我叫小雨 Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain.
我有自己的炉子 我的衣服是用麦子做的" I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat."
我认识她 I know her!
我在死人表演里跟她买了一块手工肥皂 I bought a homemade soap from her at a Dead show!
- 好 如果是男孩就叫柴契尔 - 你为什么恨我们的孩子 - Okay. How about for a guy, Thatcher? - Why do you hate our child?
- 好吧 轮到你了 - 詹姆斯 - Fine, you go. - Okay. James.
- 但我可能生的是女孩 - 否决 - But only if it's a girl. - Oh, veto.
我喜欢萝丝 你觉得呢 I like Ruth. What about Ruth?
抱歉 我们要生下个89岁的宝宝 Oh, I'm sorry. Are we having an 89-year-old?
- 戴顿呢 - 否决 史都华 - How about Dayton? - Veto. Stewart.
否决 索耶 Veto. Sawyer.
- 否决 海伦 - 否决 - Veto. Helen. - Veto.
是我想歪了 还是"否决"会是个好名字 Is it me, or is Veto starting to sound really good?
嘿 Hey.
天啊 我为你准备了一个大惊喜 Boy, do I have a surprise for you.
我们要在阳台上做爱 Sex on the balcony?
不 但有个人忘不了那个想法 No. But someone's not gonna get over that idea.
- 怎么了 - 我帮你放了洗澡水 - What? - I drew you a bath.
我不喜欢洗澡 你愿意帮我画一幅阳台做爱图吗 I don't like baths. Could you draw me a picture of sex on the balcony?
拜托你试试看 我使出了全身解数 Try it for me. I used all my best stuff.
我点了蜡烛 放了音乐 用了浴盐跟泡泡澡 I lit candles, I put on music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath.
我还帮你找到海军模型船 这是男人会洗的澡 And got you this little plastic Navy ship! So it's a boy bath.
- 这稍微有点男人味 - 我发誓你试过后一定会爱上它 - This does butch it up a bit. - I swear, you will love it.
如果我这么做 我们能不能讨论在阳台上做爱的事 If I do this, can we discuss balcony sex?
当然可以 Absolutely.
但我知道我们会怎么讨论它 But I know how that discussion's gonna go.
# 谁能说这条路在何方 # # Who can say where the road goes? #
好吧 这还不赖 我喜欢花香味 All right, this isn't bad. I like the flowery smell.
没关系 因为我有我的船 Which is okay, because I've got my boat.
- 怎么样 - 我的天啊 - So? - Oh, my God.
我说过你会喜欢洗澡 或许我可以帮你做脸 I told you you were a bath person. Hey, maybe I can give you a facial.
我需要大一点的船 I'm gonna need a bigger boat.
我觉得你对萝丝这个名字没有抱着开阔的胸襟 I don't think you had an open mind about Ruth.
拜托嘛 小萝丝·盖勒 可爱吧 Little Ruthie Geller? How cute is that?
天啊 我可以听到麻将声 Oh, my God, I can practically hear the mahjong tiles.
好了 检查结果都很正常 你们想知道宝宝的性别吗 All your tests look fine. Are you interested in the sex of the baby?
- 我们不想知道 - 但病历里面有记录 - No, we're not. - You have it right there?
你告诉我们是男孩或是女孩 戴顿或珊德妮 菲比或菲宝 You know if it's a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrene? Phoebe or Pheebo?
没错 如果你们不想知道 But if you don't wanna know...
- 不 我们要等 对吧 - 对 - No, we wanna wait. Right? - Right. Right.
我马上回来 Oh, I'll be right back.
我知道我不该那么说 I know it's really not my place...
但请不要将你们的宝宝取名为菲宝 ...but please don't name your child Pheebo.
你觉得哪个宝宝最丑 So, which of these babies is the ugliest?
什么 瑞秋 那太可怕了 What? Rach, come on, that's terrible.
他们是宝宝 他们都很可爱 They're babies. They're all beautiful.
- 左边数过来第三个 - 对 它为什么要盯着我看 - Third one from the left? - Yeah. Why is it staring at me?
我想它知道我在说它 你不…你在偷看 I think it knows I'm talking about it. Don't you...? You're looking!
- 我没有 - 我看到了 - I didn't! - I saw you!
好吧 我在偷看 但我什么都没有看到 Fine, I did, but I didn't see anything.
你太可耻了 丑宝宝唾弃你 Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!
- 好吧 听我说 我没有… - 别告诉我 我不想知道 - But I didn't... - Don't tell me! I don't wanna know!
我想说也没办法说 因为我不知道 I couldn't, because I don't know!
我发誓我什么都没看到 我不想知道 刚刚我是一时糊涂 I swear I didn't see anything! It was just a momentary lapse.
一时糊涂 你不懂得自制吗 "Momentary lapse." Don't you have any self-control?
好吧 现在跟我说教 已经迟了好几个月 罗斯 Okay. A couple months late on the lecture, Ross.
哈罗 Hello?
我在浴室 你能进来一下吗 我觉得不太对劲 Can you come in here? There's something wrong.
你知道吗 我在这里等 You know what? I think I'll wait out here.
我在浴缸里 I'm in the bathtub.
- 怎么了 - 我自己放洗澡水 但我没有弄对 - What's wrong? - I drew a bath, but I did it wrong.
水温温的 浴盐无法溶解 现在它们结块了 The water's tepid, the salt didn't dissolve and is now lodged places.
我用的香味闻起来很不协调 尤加利树跟甘菊 And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile? Oh!
- 什么 - 浴盐 - What? - Bath salts.
它们开始冒泡了 They're starting to effervesce.
感觉完全不同 这真的很有趣 It's different. It's interesting.
好吧 我们谈谈别的事 Let's talk about something else.
当然 今天你过得还好吧 Yeah. Sure. So, what was going on with you today?
我跟乔伊谈了一件很奇怪的事 I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey.
他谈到规则及对错 He was talking about rules and right and wrong.
- 我也跟他谈过 - 是吗 他到底在说什么 - I had the same conversation. - What was he talking about?
自从他演过马克白后 我还没看过他说不出话的样子 He hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since he was in Macbeth.
那是漫长的一夜 That was a long night.
好吧 我们来谈谈这件事 他到底跟你说了什么 All right, let's break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
他说到规则 对别人有不同的看法 He was talking about rules and looking at people differently.
- 他没有跟我说那个 - 他跟你说了什么 - Not to me. - What'd he tell you?
他问到你跟我在伦敦发生的事 He asked about you, me and London.
我们是怎么开始的 还有规则 And the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
好吧 你跟我在伦敦 Okay. So you, me and London.
对别人有不同的看法 Looking at people differently.
或许他想跟某人发生你跟我在伦敦发生的事 Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London.
但他说"规则"是什么意思 But what'd he mean by "rules"?
等一下 菲比走进来时他就不说了 Wait. He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in.
- 因为他用不同的眼光看她 - 菲比是他的朋友 - He's looking at her differently. - Phoebe is his friend.
他觉得那违反了规则 That'd be breaking the rules.
天啊 他想跟菲比在伦敦上床 My God, he wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
- 你们在哪里 - 等一下 - You guys? - Um, just a minute!
- 崔比亚尼太太来了 - 什么都别说 - That's Mrs. Tribbiani. - You don't say anything.
我为什么要说 我们的两个好朋友要真正地谈恋爱 Why would I? That two of our friends could start a great love affair?
他们会谢谢我 然后我们可以开始做宝宝 They'd have me to thank. Then we could all start having babies!
- 我不要你告诉她 - 你待在这里 - I won't let you say anything. - Stay here.
天啊 Oh, God!
摩妮卡 我拿熨斗来还你 Oh. I brought back your iron.
是你把它拿走的 我以为弄丢了 一个月前买了一个新的 You had that? I thought I lost it. I got a new one a month ago.
太好了 我把它弄坏了 Oh, just as well. I broke this one.
- 什么 - 没事 - What? - Nothing.
好吧 Okay.
我真的不该说 我不应该说出来的 I really shouldn't say. I'm really not supposed to.
好吧 Fine.
- 这是个好消息 - 可惜你不能告诉我 - It's a humdinger. - Too bad you can't tell me.
有人喜欢你 Somebody likes you!
- 是钱德吗 - 不 - Ugh. Is it Chandler? - No!
- 叫他别再盯着我看 - 是乔伊 - Then tell him to stop staring. - It's Joey.
真的吗 乔伊 你骗人 Really? Joey? You don't say.
- 你会有兴趣吗 - 我不知道 - Would you be interested? - I don't know, I don't know.
我是说我在想 "天啊 我可以吗" You know, I mean, on the one hand, "Mother, may I?"
但在另一方面 But, you know, on the other hand...
不行 我们是朋友 No. No, I can't. We're friends.
不 我不能冒险 失去我们现在的友谊 Oh, no. I don't wanna risk what we have.
我猜你说的对 你会跟他谈一谈吗 I guess that makes sense. You think you're gonna talk to him?
当然 他是乔伊 我不希望他受伤害 Sure. I mean, it's Joey. I don't want him to get hurt.
我得说我真的很辣 先是钱德 现在又是乔伊 Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey.
- 没有钱德 只有乔伊 - 当然 - Not Chandler. Just Joey. - Sure.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
你知道吗 我想过了 我接受萝丝这个名字 You know what? I'm coming around on the name Ruth.
我可以考虑帮孩子取那个名字 I'd consider naming our child that.
瑞秋 我无法告诉你 这对我来说意义有多么重大 Rach, I can't tell you how much that means to me. Oh...
等一下 等一下 Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
你讨厌萝丝这个名字 你为什么会改变心意 You hated the name Ruth. Why would you change your mind?
除非你知道 我们用不着它 Unless you know we're never gonna have to use it.
你看到了 你知道宝宝是男孩 You did see. You know it's a boy!
我什么都没有看到 我真的是改变了心意 I didn't see anything. I changed my mind.
我不那么认为 你答应让我选萝丝 I don't think so. You're giving me Ruth...
如果你生了儿子 你可以帮他取名字 ...so you get to name him when it's a boy.
那时候你会决定叫他 海瑟 布兰恩或史奎亚 That's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
我会…史奎亚 I would... Sequoia!
- 否决 - 好吧 - Veto. - Fine.
除非… 你知道我会看穿你的阴谋 Unless you anticipated that I would figure all this out...
你知道宝宝是女生 ...and you know that it actually is a girl.
你真的希望她叫萝丝 And you really do want her to be named Ruth.
我才不会上当 好吧 我们不考虑萝丝 Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
- 但罗斯 你要萝丝这个名字 - 现在我不要了 - But, Ross, you want the name Ruth. - Not like this!
- 嗨 - 嗨 怎么了 - Hey. - Hey. What's up?
- 乔伊 我知道了 - 什么 - Um, Joey, I know. - What?
- 我知道了 - 什么 - I know. - What?
- 我了解你的感觉 - 天啊 真的吗 - I know about your feelings. - Oh, my God, you do?
很遗憾 虽然钱德跟摩妮卡成功了 但那是少有的例子 I'm sorry. Things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but that's rare.
我知道 这比他们的情况复杂多了 I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for them.
我是说她是瑞秋 天啊 I mean, it's Rachel, for God's sakes.
天啊 是瑞秋 For God's sakes, it's Rachel!
我知道 她不只是我的朋友 她是我的孕妇朋友 I know! She's not only my friend, she's my pregnant friend.
她是我的孕妇朋友 还是罗斯的前女友 She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex!
对 那就是瑞秋 我真的被搞糊涂了 Yeah, that's Rachel. Beat me over the head with it.
我该怎么办 我试着不去想这些事 What am I gonna do? I keep trying to get rid of these feelings.
昨晚我整夜没睡 试着写出我不喜欢她的地方 I made a list of everything I don't like about her.
- 你想听听看吗 - 好 - You wanna hear it? - Yeah.
"她要我改吃低卡美乃滋" 就那样 我只想到那个 "She made me switch to light mayo." That's it! That's all I got!
你知道吗 味道一样 但我的裤子松多了 You know what? Tastes the same and my pants fit better.
乔伊 我觉得你是庸人自扰 Joey, you're getting upset for nothing.
- 或许你只是被爱情冲昏了头 - 你真的那么认为 - This is probably just a crush. - You think?
当然 你只是一时昏了头 但那种感觉会消失的 Absolutely. You get this rush of feelings, but it goes away.
对 我只是冲昏了头 没错 我只是冲昏了头 Yeah, just a crush. That's all this is. It's a crush!
我是乔伊 我不会玩真的 I'm Joey. I don't get deep feelings.
好了 人常会被冲昏了头 There you go. Crushes happen all the time.
我对你们这些男生也会有那种感觉 罗斯跟钱德除外 I've had them for all you guys. Except for Ross and Chandler.
- 我相信你对我们也是 - 不尽然 - And I'm sure you've had them for us. - Not really.
真是难倒我了 Throw me a bone here.
我打电话给医生了 So I, uh... I called the doctor.
- 现在我们都知道宝宝的性别 - 什么 - Now we both know the sex of the baby. - What?
没错 我是青出于蓝而胜于蓝 That's right. The student has become the master.
- 罗斯 我发誓真的不知道 - 少来了 你知道宝宝是女孩 - Ross, I swear. I don't know. - Oh, come on, you know it's a girl.
- 什么 - 你真的不知道 - A what? - You really didn't know?
- 我们要有个女儿了 - 不 - We're having a girl? - No.
- 你是那么说的 - 不 - That's what you said. - No.
- 你说是女孩 - 对 我真的很抱歉 - You said girl. - Yes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
没关系 我们要有个女儿了 I'm not! We're having a girl!
有时候我不敢相信孩子的爸是你 但我们要有个女儿了 Sometimes I can't believe it's with you, but still, we're having a girl!
我知道 你知道吗 我要重新考虑萝丝这个名字 I know! You know what? I'm putting Ruth back on the table.
对 我们要生下小萝丝了 Yes, we'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth.
- 允许否决 - 好吧 否决 - Permission to veto. - Yes, please.
- 嘿 - 这是精油味吗 - Hey. - Do I smell essential oils?
对 我要去洗澡 我想拿本杂志 I'm gonna take a bath. I was gonna get a magazine.
好 Okay.
你觉得你在做什么 What do you think you're doing?
忘了我的麻烦 Leaving my troubles behind?
我知道你是新手 但这不合乎洗澡的礼仪 You're new at this, but this is unacceptable bath decorum.
在这么轻松的感觉下 我真的什么都不在乎了 It's so hard to care when you're this relaxed.
好吧 你可以洗澡 但我要拿走你的船 You can have the bath, but I am taking your boat.
现在你是爱洗澡的女生 Now you're just a girl in a tub.
- 嘿 - 嗨 泡泡澡 太有男子气概了 - Hey! - Hi, bubbles. Manly.
我想顺道过来告诉你结果 I thought I'd let you know how it went.
- 你跟她说了 - 是她套我的 - You told her? - She pulled it out of me!
她真的很会逼别人 结果如何 She's like a conversational wizard! How did it go?
- 你错了 他不喜欢我 - 什么 - You were wrong. He doesn't like me. - What?
你会有什么感觉 如果我把你送到李·梅杰斯的家 How would you like it if I told you that Lee Majors liked you...
我告诉你他喜欢你 你跑进去… ...and I told you he liked you and you went there...
发现他并不喜欢你 你会有什么感觉 ...and you found out that he didn't like you? How would you feel?
- 我想我不会在乎 - 真的吗 李·梅杰斯很性感 - I don't think I'd care. - Really? Lee Majors is hot.
- 哈罗 - 我们在浴室里 - Hello? - We're in the bathroom!
- 为什么 - 因为它既轻松又有趣 - Why? - Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time!
- 你们在这里做什么 - 天啊 - What are you guys doing in here? - Oh, my God.
他对一个朋友的感觉不一样 但那是不对的 A friend he's looking at differently, but it's wrong.
- 是瑞秋 - 你喜欢瑞秋 - It's Rachel! - You like Rachel?
那没什么了不起的 菲比跟我谈过 It's no big deal. Phoebe and I talked.
我只是冲昏了头 我会清醒过来的 It's a crush. It'll go away.
天啊 你重点部位的泡泡散开了 Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles.
恭喜啊 Mazel tov.
嘿 罗斯跟我在找你们 Hey. Oh, hi. Ross and I were looking for you.
我们在这里做什么 天啊 What are we all doing in here? Oh, my.
用船把它盖起来 Honey, cover it up with the boat.
哈罗 Hello?
我们都在这里 希望你能加入我们 We're all in here, and we'd love for you to join us!
嘿 发生了什么事 很酷的船 不 Well, hey! What's going on? Oh, cool boat. Oh, no.
- 你告诉他们了吗 - 不 我在等你 - Did you tell them? - I waited for you.
- 告诉我们什么 - 我们怀的是女儿 - Tell us what? - We're having a girl.
哇 真的吗 Oh, wow! Really? Oh, my God!
我待会再加入你们 I'll get you later.
好吧 这是全新的一天 我只是被冲昏了头 All right. It's a new day. And it's just a crush.
没错 我冲昏了头 That's all. Just a little crush.
我到底在担心什么 那太疯狂了 All that worrying I was doing? That was crazy. Crazy.
我的小鸟朋友会说 "那跟疯子一样“ Like my friend the bird here would say, "It was cuckoo!"
一切都会没事 我只是冲昏了头 Everything's gonna be fine. It's just a crush.
- 嗨 甜心 - 我爱你 - Hi, sweetie. - I love you.
我们能一起这么做 真的很棒吧 It's nice to do this together, isn't it?
对 你让我感觉很好 Yeah. And what you're doing feels so good.
- 我没有碰你 - 是吗 - I'm not touching you. - You're not?
- 那是浴盐 - 天啊 那是愉悦新领域 - It's the salts. - Sweet Lord, new realms of pleasure.
只要能让你忘了阳台的事就行了 大男人 Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy.