- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
摩妮卡 我看到保时捷停在前门口 I saw the Porsche parked out front.
钥匙能借我一下吗？ 我想带那个坏男孩去兜个风 Can I get the keys? I'll take that bad boy for a spin.
等等 罗斯可以开？ 我问你时 你说只有你能开 Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to.
他是我哥哥 跟乌龟一样 而且他开车 不会出事的 He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he couldn't hurt it.
那是辆车子 摩妮卡 不是火箭 It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship.
随便啦 罗斯 Whatever, Ross.
兜完风后 帮我换一下刹车灯的灯泡 Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
我看到保时捷了 真的很酷 我什么时候能再开出去兜风？ Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again?
- 你让乔伊开保时捷？ - 我从来没开过 一次都没有 - You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once.
好吧 只有一次 好吧 我常常开出门 Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
感谢大家 "你可以开 但别告诉瑞秋"计划宣告失败 So much for the "you can drive it but don't tell Rachel" plan.
哇 真不敢相信你们骗我 Wow, I can't believe you lied to me.
交给我来吧 摩妮卡 瑞秋认为你只会谈婚礼的事 I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding.
瑞秋 我不让你开保时捷 因为你是个很差劲的驾驶 I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver.
好了 那跟婚礼无关 There. That wasn't about the wedding.
瑞秋 如果你想坐保时捷去兜风 我可以载你在街区转一下 If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block.
你接下来几小时都有空吗？ You got a couple hours?
喔 那真痛快 Whew, that was a brisk ride.
- 你开了篷 对不对？ - 这样才能感觉是在飞 - Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly.
罗斯 钥匙给我 摩妮卡错了 我是个很棒的驾驶 Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver.
你开车超快 又不负责任 你的确是个差劲的驾驶 You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
高中时 那些特点让我成为啦啦队长 In high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
你看到那个女孩看我的眼神了吗？ Did you see the look that girl just gave me, huh?
她一定看到了我开保时捷的模样 She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy.
- 我想她在看你的鸟窝头 - 什么？ - She's checking out your beehive. - What?
- 梳子给我 - 钥匙给我 - Give me a brush. - Give me the keys.
- 不行 - 那我就不给你梳子 - No way! - Well, no brush.
好 没关系 Fine. It doesn't matter.
如果我没记错 洗手间地上有一把梳子 If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
这是我的赡养费 Alimony.
钱德 你爸还没寄回函给我们 We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad.
喔 对 或许那是 因为我没寄喜帖给他 Oh, right. Um, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation.
钱德 他是你爸爸 我们的婚礼他本来就该参加了 Chandler, he's your father. He should be at your wedding.
我甚至不认得他 我们不亲 我好几年没跟他见过面 I don't even know him. I haven't seen him in years.
如果他知道我们没有邀请他呢？ And when he finds out he wasn't asked?
他又不会知道 我们的生活圈不一样 We don't run in the same circles.
我跟你们混在一起 而他… I hang out with you guys and he...
他在拉斯维加斯表演变装秀 ...stars in a drag show in Vegas.
我想和他交换生活圈 Ooh, I think I want to trade circles.
相信我 你不会想邀请他来 没有人会看新娘… You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride...
因为新郎的爸爸穿着露背洋装 ...when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress.
那又怎么样？ Heh, so what?
只要他不穿婚纱 我根本不在乎 As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil, I don't care.
我想我得去买点东西 I think I need to do some shopping.
啊 Ah.
太棒了 Ooh, nice.
我的天啊 My God!
- 你以为你在做什么？ - 我只是在洗挡风玻璃 - What do you think you're doing? - Just washing the windshield.
我绝不会让你开这辆车 There's no way I'll let you drive this car.
- 把钥匙还给我吧 - 啊 - Just hand over the keys. - Oh.
啊啊啊 Oh, ah-ah-ah!
别开动引擎 Do not start this car.
好吧 我给你二十块… Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks...
只要你立刻下车…嘿 ...if you get out of this car right now. Hey!
听着 Look.
罗斯 如果你真的那么害怕 就上车吧 If you're so freaked out, get in the car.
跟你一起去兜风？是噢 With you? Yeah, right.
好吧 All right.
好吧… Okay, okay, okay.
- 你在做什么？坐到前面来 - 你要我坐死亡座椅？ - What are you doing? Get in front. - In the death seat?
- 嘿 大家好 - 嗨 甜心 - Hey, guys. - Hi, sweetie.
- 准备要走了吗？ - 我的皮包在摩妮卡家 我马上回来 - Ready to go? - My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back.
- 等一下 - 什么？喔 - Wait a minute. - What?
哦 Oh.
哦 Ooh!
哦 Oops.
我还在头晕 Whoa, oh, that one kept going.
你跟菲比在交往？ So, you and Phoebe, huh?
- 你们交往多久？ - 一个多月了 - How long have you been going out? - A month.
我们应该多多了解彼此 Wow. We ought to get to know each other better.
- 当然 我很愿意 - 对嘛 所以… - Sure. I'd like that. - Yeah. So, uh...
你叫什么名字？ What's your name?
- 我是杰克 - 我是乔伊 - It's Jake. - Joey.
- 杰克 你喜欢《尼克队》吗？ - 当然 我是他们的头号球迷 - Do you like the Knicks? - Yeah, big fan.
我也是 星期二有比赛 你要一起去吗？ Me too. There's a game Tuesday. Do you want to go?
太棒了 我得先确定星期二我没事 Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
拿去吧 Here.
- 这是什么？ - 你的行李 我们要去拉斯维加斯 - What's this? - Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas.
真的吗？我们要私奔？ 不必再筹备那个该死的婚礼 Are you serious? Eloping? No more stupid wedding stuff.
不必再烦恼这些花或那些花 想想我们可以省多少钱 No more these flowers, these flowers. Think of the money we'll save.
我们没有要私奔 我喜欢花 我们的婚礼能再盛大一点吗？拜托 We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger, please?
我们要去拉斯维加斯找你爸 We're going to see your dad.
你们该聚一聚了 我也想认识我公公 I want to get to know my father-in-law.
我们已经谈过这件事 我赢了 We already went over this and I won.
不 你没赢 甜心 你应该知道… No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know...
现在你要娶我 你是赢不了的 Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.
算了吧 我不想去 我不想见到他 我不想 Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't want to see him.
钱德 我知道你爸让你觉得丢脸 I know your dad embarrassed you.
所有的小孩 都会觉得自己的父母很丢脸 All kids are embarrassed by their parents.
我的经历 你得想个新说法才能形容 You need a new word for what I went through.
高中的时候 他参加了我所有的游泳比赛… In high school, he came to all my swim meets...
每次都打扮成不同的好莱坞明星 ...dressed as a Hollywood starlet.
我十四岁时 日子已经很不好过了 It's hard enough to be 14.
瘦巴巴的 连紧身泳裤都太大 我妈还说有一天我会大到可以穿 You're skinny, wearing Speedos your mom promised you'd grow into.
我抬头看着看台 发现我爸在为我加油 You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on.
他打扮成卡门米兰达 帽子上有真的水果作装饰… Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit...
之后他会把那些水果 做为健康零食 发给你的朋友 ...that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack.
重点是他参加了 你每一场游泳比赛 帮你加油 The point is that he was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on.
他是个好爸爸 That's a pretty great dad.
他还跟嘉利巴迪老师上床 He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.
- 嘉利巴迪老师是谁？ - 那很重要吗？ - Who's Mr. Garibaldi? - Does it matter?
钱德… Chandler...
你不再是十四岁的孩子 好吗？ 那些事 或许你该放下了 You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go.
如果你的父亲没来参加婚礼 你会抱憾终生的 If he's not at your wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
好吧 但我这么做是为了你 Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.
太好了 Yes!
- 我永远都赢不了吗？ - 你以前又赢过几次？ - I never get to win anymore? - How much did you ever win before?
- 菲比 - 嘿 - Pheebs. - Hey.
你知道当你穿着裤子 身体往前倾时… You know how, uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward...
我可以看到你的内裤吗？ ...I check out your underwear?
知道啊 Yeah.
- 嗯 当杰克身体往前倾时… - 嗯 - Well, when Jake did it... - Mm-hm.
我看到他穿着女人的内裤 ...I saw that he was wearing women's underwear.
我知道 那是我的 I know. They were mine.
哦 Oh.
不 等一下 那太奇怪了 No, no, wait. That's weird.
不会啊 我们只是闹着玩 我跟他打赌他不敢穿 We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on.
那真的很奇怪 That's weird!
- 我正穿着他的内裤 - 那还蛮性感的 - I'm wearing his briefs right now. - That's kind of hot.
我也那么想 你知道那个小洞吗？ 刚好可以拿来放我的口红 I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
我倒是不知道那一点 I wouldn't know about that.
杰克说 事实上 女人的内裤更舒服 Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable.
他喜欢丝质内裤 贴在皮肤上的感觉 He loves how silk feels against his skin.
接下来他会说 穿上你的高跟鞋他更婀娜多姿 Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture.
杰克没有什么不正常的 他是个货真价实的男人 There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man.
我认为他比你更有男人味 I think, more than you.
没错 他看起来像是 穿着粉红色蕾丝内裤的伐木工人 He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies.
我是说 只有真正 相信自己男子气概的男人… Only a man completely secure with his masculinity...
才会穿上女人的内裤 我敢说你办不到 ...could walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could.
- 我很相信我的男子气概 - 好吧 随便你 - I am secure with my masculinity. - Okay, whatever.
你看过我收藏的色情杂志吧？ You've seen my huge stack of porn.
他们在哪里？他们在哪里… Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at?
天啊 我都忘了我有多爱开车了 God, I forgot how much I love driving.
我得去换新驾照 I have got to get my license renewed.
你的驾照过期了？马上停车 You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now.
罗斯 你太紧张了 放轻松 好吗？ You're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay?
你只需要放轻松 好吗？放轻松 Okay? Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax.
你在…？那一点都不好笑 别闹了 What are you...? That's not funny. Stop horsing around.
我没有胡闹 好吗？ I am not horsing around, okay?
我在"开保时捷"兜风 I am "Porsche-ing" around.
额 Uh-oh.
保持冷静 不会有事的 你没有惹上大麻烦 Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble.
真的吗？你那么认为？ Really? You think so?
我是在跟自己说话 你死定了 I'm talking to myself. You're going down!
(四王后俱乐部)
我能感受到我在说什么 I can feel something inside me say
你们点过东西了吗？ Has someone taken your order?
对 她来过了 是他才对 还是她？ 抱歉 我第一次来 我不… Oh, yeah. She did. Um, he did. She? I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't...
嗯 Mm-hm.
- 我点了一杯啤酒 - 你是异性恋 我了 - I just ordered a beer. - You're straight. I get it.
如果我们打电话给你爸 就能坐到比较好一点的位置 If we called your dad, we'd have better seats.
我不想让他知道我们来了 我还没有心理准备 I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready.
而且他看到我也不会太高兴 He won't be too happy to see me either.
为什么？ Why not?
我不知道有没有告诉过你… I don't know if I told you this, but he's kind of tried to contact me...
- 过去几年来他常试着跟我联络 - 什么？ - ...a lot over the last few years. - What?
对 他会打电话 写信给我 Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters.
他会到纽约来 但我总是说我没空看他 He even came to New York. I said I was too busy.
整个就是"恶意缺席" 我真的不想谈 It's very "Cat's in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it.
节目要开始了 Here we go.
各位先生 各位女士 让我们欢迎举世无双的… Ladies and gentlemen...
海莲娜汉德巴斯奇 ...please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket.
嗨 我的小亲亲们 Hello, darlings.
他就是我爸 And there's Daddy.
快跟我换位置 快点 我从下面钻过去 你从上面过来 Okay. Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over.
- 对啦 - 快点 我很愿意 罗斯 - Yeah, I'll get right on that. - Ugh, come on!
什么？不 瑞秋 别那样快点 What? No. Hey, Rach, come on.
我相信我们不会因此被捕 I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.
天啊 God!
嗨 警官 我的速度有点快吗？ Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast?
喔 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
- 麻烦你把驾照拿出来 - 当然 没问题 - Can I see your license, please? - Oh, yes, absolutely.
这太奇怪了 我昨晚做了一个梦 梦到我被警察拦下来 It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman.
然后他… And then he, um...
或许我不该告诉你 接下来的情节 Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.
- 你的驾照 - 对 在这里 警官… - Your license. - Yes. Ahem. Here you go, Officer, uh...
帅哥警官 ...Handsome.
- 是韩森才对 - 喔 对不起 我看错了 - It's Hanson. - Oops, sorry. My mistake.
我的天啊 Dear Lord!
- 哇 - 这可好了 - Wow! - Here it comes.
这张照片很漂亮 This is a great picture.
啊 Ah!
真的吗？你真的那么想？ 拍照时我才刚刚起床 Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed.
哇 你看起来很美 You look phenomenal.
一点都没错 那是十年前的照片了 She should! It was taken 10 years ago!
你知道的 或许… You know, you're probably, um...
你会有点纳闷 日期好像不太对劲 Probably wondering about the old date.
没错 你是水瓶座吗？ Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh?
- 我敢说你是双子座 - 不是 - I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No.
- 金牛座？ - 不是 - Taurus? - No.
- 处女座？ - 不是 - Virgo? - No.
- 射手座？ - 对 - Sagittarius? - Yep.
我就知道 I knew it. I knew it!
- 这样吧 不要再超速了 好吗？ - 我不会超速了 - You won't speed anymore, right? - I won't speed.
- 而且发誓你会去换驾照 - 我发誓 - Promise to take care of this? - I promise.
还有 让他开车 他有驾照吗？ Let him drive. Does he have a license?
- 有 - 他会开手排的车吗？ - Yeah. - Can he handle a stick?
- 这个嘛… - 我会开手排的车 - Oh, well... - I can handle a stick!
同性恋 Gay
- 他不可能是你爸 - 多年来我一直这样告诉我自己 - That can't be your father. - I've been saying that for years.
- 喔 我的天啊 - 什么？ - Oh, my God! - What?
弹钢琴的人就是嘉利巴迪老师 That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.
嗨 欢迎大家来看表演 Hello, and welcome to the show.
在观众席中我看到一些常客 I see some of our regulars in the audience.
还有一些新面孔 And a couple of irregulars.
- 他要走进观众席里了 - 别紧张 没什么大不了的 - He's coming into the audience. - Relax. You'll be fine.
喔 好多了 现在你成了隐形人 Oh, much better. You're invisible now.
- 你是从哪里来的？ - 贝克斯菲德 - Where are you from? - Bakersfield.
- 对不起？ - 贝克斯菲德 - I'm sorry? - Bakersfield.
不 我听到了 我只是觉得很遗憾 No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.
我无法接受这种事情 我们回饭店碰面 I'll meet you back at the hotel.
大家看 已经有人站起来鼓掌了 节目刚刚开始 Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show.
转身吧 小亲亲 让我看看你帅气的脸 Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face.
我们的饮料能快点送上来吗？ 服务生？小姐？ Can we have our drinks, please? Uh, waiter? ...tress?
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
你看 Check it out.
哈？ Huh?
很有男子气概吧？ How much of a man am I?
哇 太棒了 很有男子气概 但也是个荡妇 Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
我开始了解杰克的意思了 You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
- 额 - 真丝内裤的感觉真的很舒服 - Uh-huh. - The silk feels really good.
而那玩意儿不像我想像中那样 会挤成一团 And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be.
真的是太棒了 乔伊 That's great.
而且男人的内裤选择没那么多 You have so many more choices than with men's underwear.
比基尼 三角裤 丁字裤 质料还有棉 丝跟蕾丝 Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace.
你知道我一直想穿什么吗？裤袜 You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose!
从脚趾头开始一路往上拉到… The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to...
- 我应该把内裤脱下来 对吧？ - 我想你最好脱下来 - I should go take these off. - I think it's important you do.
嗯 Mm.
你叫什么名字？ What's your name?
钱德 Chandler.
钱德？ Chandler?
你的名字真是与众不同 What an unusual name.
你的父母一定是很精彩的人物 You must have had terribly fascinating parents.
喔 他们很有趣 Oh, they're a hoot.
你的朋友叫什么名字？ And who is your friend?
我是摩妮卡 I'm Monica.
- 摩妮卡 你们从哪里来的？ - 纽约 - Monica. Where are you from? - New York.
我不太喜欢纽约 I'm not very fond of New York.
但我喜欢皇后区 Queens, I like.
这个亮晶晶的… Ooh, what is this...
东西是什么啊 甜心？ ...sparkling something, honey, huh?
事实上 摩妮卡跟我已经订婚了 Actually, Monica and I are engaged.
真的吗？ Really?
恭喜你们 Congratulations.
你们什么时候结婚？ When's the big day?
两星期后 In two weeks.
我知道了 I see.
嗯 祝你们两个永远幸福 Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
原来你是个秃头 So you're bald.
等一下 Wait, wait.
我们希望你能来参加我们的婚礼 We'd really love it if you could be there.
真的吗？ Really?
我知道 那会让我很快乐… I know it would make me happy...
夫人 ...ma'am.
那我一定会去的 Then I wouldn't miss it for the world.
我都热泪盈眶了 Oh, I'm getting all misty here. Ha!
你们一定会以为 我刚刚用热蜡除过腿毛 You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something.
- 你还好吗？ - 我很好 - You okay? - Yeah.
谢谢你逼我这么做 Thanks for making me do this.
在继续表演前 我要跟这对新人说… Before we go on with the show, I want to say to the bride and groom...
他们非常幸运能找到彼此 ...how lucky they are to have found each other.
每个人的人生都会遇到雨天 In every life a little rain must fall.
还好… Fortunately...
在我的人生中… ...in my life...
我小时候演过最左边那个角色 When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left.
提醒我介绍你给某人认识 Remind me to introduce you to someone.
- 谁？ - 四档 - Who? - Fourth gear.
什么？ What?
他想做什么？我什么都没做 What does he want? I wasn't doing anything.
或许他看到你的手 不小心从十点和两点的位置滑下来 Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position.
或许是射手座警官 折回来想泡你 Maybe it's, uh, Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more.
不是刚刚那个警官 It's a different guy.
- 晚安 警官 - 你知道你的时速有多快吗？ - Good evening, officer. - Do you know how fast you were going?
不 我不知道 但应该没有超过六十英哩 Uh, no, I don't, but it could not have been more than 60.
你说的对 只有三十七英哩 You're right. It was 37.
你该不会因为我开得太慢 要开我罚单吧？ You're not ticketing me for driving too slow, are you?
没错 That's right.
你知道的 警官… You know, officer, I, uh...
昨晚我做了一个非常奇怪的梦 I had the weirdest dream last night.
喔 我的天啊 Oh, my God!
麻烦你把驾照拿出来 Your license, please.
你不想听听我做了什么梦… You don't want to hear about my dream...
警官… ...Officer...
漂亮警官？ ...Pretty?
是佩堤警官 It's Petty.
我去开罚单马上回来 I'll be right back with your ticket.
- 你有个儿子 - 我知道 我知道 - You have a son. - I know. I know.
- 觉得好一点了吗？ - 我好多了 - Feel better? - Yeah. Much. Heh.
听着… Listen, uh...
我不是想证明我的男子气概… Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, but, uh...
但我觉得我需要马上去泡个女人 ...I need to hook up with a woman right now.
- 我了解 - 好 好 - I understand. - Yeah, okay.
- 嘿 你好 - 你好 - Hey. Hi. - Hi.
你看起来好眼熟 我认识你吗？ You look familiar. Do I know you?
应该不认识 I don't think so.
或许是因为我是电视演员 Maybe it's because I'm on television.
- 我在《我们的日子》里演出 - 哇 真的吗？ - I'm an actor on Days ofour Lives. - Wow. Really?
- 共是四块半 谢谢 - 喔 让我来吧 - Four-fifty, please. - Oh, let me get this.
这是送你的 These are for you.