生日快乐 Happy birthday!
- 瑞秋 别这样 - 快点 - Rach, come on. - Come on.
是你的生日耶 It's your birthday.
嘿 Hey.
她不像她29岁时那么漂亮 She's not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
在葛林小姐出来之前 她要先把几件事说清楚 Ms. Green wants to establish some ground rules before she comes out.
"老"或者"走下坡"等字眼 She would appreciate it if you didn't use the words "old" or "downhill"...
或是"它们看来还是很棒" ...or "They still look pretty damn good."
它们还是 They do.
瑞秋 出来 Rachel, come on out.
摩妮卡做了早餐 Monica made breakfast.
巧克力碎片松饼 Chocolate chip pancakes.
我们有礼物给你 We've got presents.
好的礼物？ Good ones?
都是两星期前你给的单子上的 They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
我可以只收礼物 而仍然是29岁吗？ Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
瑞秋 30岁没什么大不了 Come on, Rach, look, turning 30 is not that big a deal.
真的？你满30时也是这么觉得吗？ Oh, really? Is that how you felt when you turned 30?
为什么 上帝 为什么？ Why, God, why?
我们讲好的了 让其他人变老 我不要 We had a deal. Let the others grow old, not me.
只有我这样吗？是我反应过度吗？ Oh, come on, you guys, is it just me? Am I overreacting?
不 不是只有你 我的30岁生日也不好过 No, Rach, it is not just you. My 30th birthday certainly wasn't that much fun.
现在是钱德了 And now Chandler.
我们都变得这么老 We're all getting so old.
你为什么这样对我们？ Why are you doing this to us?
（瑞秋30岁生日快乐）
你的生活过得很好 你有很棒的工作 很好的朋友 Rach, you're in a great place in your life. You have an amazing job, good friends.
你的室友是连续剧明星 Your roommate's a soap opera star.
你的角色在昏迷中 Your character is in a coma.
我答应自己这个生日一定不哭 I promised myself I wasn't gonna cry at this one.
我知道我目前过得很好 但我看到一些人… I know my life's going pretty well, but I see so many people...
在30岁以前 就完成了他们的目标 ...who've accomplished so many of their goals by the time they're 30.
是啊 你不应该和我比 Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me.
- 来 菲比 - 你做得到的 - Come on, Phoebe. - You can do it.
来 好了 Come on. There you go.
我成功了 在跳跳球上走了一里 I did it. One mile on a Hippity Hop.
30岁前我想完成的事 That's it. That's everything I wanted to do before I was 30.
除了我想和我妹修好关系 Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister.
嗯 可是 Oh, well. But, yay!
女人 这东西是上帝给的礼物 如果你懂我的意思 And, girls, this thing is a godsend, if you know what I mean. Heh.
来做点有趣的事吧 你想做什么？ Come on, let's have some fun, huh? What do you want to do today?
什么也不做 我什么也不想做 Nothing. I don't want to do anything.
在30岁生日时什么都不做 总比做笨事好 像罗斯一样 Doing nothing on your 30th is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
那是很实际的一项购买 Hey, that was a practical purchase.
我需要那车子做交通工具 I needed that car for transportation.
好吗？我有小孩 Okay? I have a child.
我在这车里看来很拉风吧？ How hot do I look in this, huh?
罗斯 一台跑车？ Ross, a sports car?
往裤子里塞袜子不是更便宜？ Wouldn't it be cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
这不是为了那梱 That's not what this is about, okay?
我是跑车热爱者 I am a sports car enthusiast.
- 我一直都很喜欢车 - 它的马力多少？ - I've always been into cars. - What's the horsepower on this thing?
不知道 看它多亮呀 I don't know, but look how shiny.
- 你竟然买了这台车 - 帅哥 载我一程吧？ - I can't believe you bought this. - So can I have a ride, stud?
赶紧上车 Hop in.
准备好你这辈子最稳的一程 Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
可恶 Damn it.
好了 下一个是谁？ Okay, who's next?
今天我一定要做点什么 You know what? I am gonna do something today.
我不要像老太太一样闲坐在这儿 I'm not just gonna sit around like some old lady.
我要在身上打个洞 I want to get something pierced.
像是鼻子 舌头 或是别的地方 Like my, uh, nose or my tongue or something.
真的？那会痛的 Really? Because, you know, that hurts.
那又怎么？我是这么想… So what? You know, the way I see it...
该死的 Ow! Son of a bitch.
我知道你经历的 Look, Rachel, I know what you're going through.
我25岁生日时吓坏了 I'm totally freaked out about turning 25.
离开我家 Get out of my apartment.
瑞秋 你做的很好 Rach, for what it's worth, I think that you're doing great.
正视事实吧 没有人能真的 好好处理这件事 I mean, let's face it, no one handles this well.
至少你不行 Heh. Least of all you.
快戴上 摩妮卡随时会到家 Would you put that back on. Monica's gonna be here any minute.
可是乔伊的喉结会痛 But it hurts my Joey's apple.
告诉你最后一次 它不是以每一个人的名字命名的 Okay, for the last time, it's not named after each individual man.
钱德 你把宴会办得真好 You've done a wonderful job with this party, Chandler.
- 每样东西都很美丽 - 没有像你这么美丽 - Everything looks so lovely. - Oh, well, not as lovely as you.
不能相信你有位30岁的女儿 I mean, I can't believe you would have a 30-year-old daughter.
不能相信你有件30岁的燕尾服 And you, I can't believe you would have a tux that's 30 years old.
这比30年还老 罗斯是在这件燕尼服之前有的 It's older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
哦 Oh.
大家躲起来 我看到她了 她来了 Okay, everybody hide. I saw her. She's coming.
好吧 好吧 大家蹲下… Okay, okay. Everybody down. Everybody down.
留在这儿 我来看看发生什么事了 Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out what's going on.
你开门了 嘿 Hey, you got the door open.
嘿 你喝醉了吗？ Hey, are you drunk?
没有 No.
好 Okay.
哇哦 Whoa.
好 Okay.
我对要满30岁… See, I was a little nervous about turning...
有点紧张 ...30.
收碗的小弟带我去喝酒 So the busboys took me out for some drinks.
待会可能会吐在你身上 Might want to puke on you later.
事情是这样的 我们替你办了一个惊喜宴会 Okay, here's the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you.
你的朋友和父母都在里面 All your friends are in there and your parents.
- 是的 是的 - 不 - No. - Yes.
哦 不 我父母从没看我醉过 Oh, no. My parents have never seen me drunk.
就他们所知 That they know of.
我们替你弄点咖啡 他们不会知道你醉了 Here's the thing. We'll get you some coffee and they will never know that you're drunk.
- 你确定？ - 我会处理好的 - Really, you promise? - Yeah, I'll take care of it.
我好爱你 I love you so much.
好了 要对你的口臭想想办法 Okay, we have to do something about your breath.
那你的呢？ What about your breath?
那还是你的口臭 That's still yours.
记住 这是一个惊喜 Okay, now, remember, it's a surprise party.
你进去时要显得很惊讶 So when you go in, act surprised.
- 好吧 - 好吧 嘘 - Okay. - Okay. Shh.
好了吗？ Ready?
惊喜 Surprise!
好 前进 前进 Okay, forward. Forward.
停止 Stop!
退后…停 好 Okay, back... Stop!
前… 停 停 停 Okay, for... Stop! Stop! Stop!
好 我们这么做 Okay. Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
我打开这台小货车车门 将它放在空档 I'm gonna break into this minivan, put it in neutral.
你们把它向前谁 罗斯就能开出来了 You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of the spot.
好 来吧 Okay? All right. Here we go.
快逃 Haul ass!
30岁生日快乐 来 Happy 30th birthday. Here.
给你里面的孩子 还有女子 It's for the child in you. And the woman.
30岁快乐 Happy 30th.
你为什么一直这么说？ Why do you keep saying that?
因为这是我们的30岁生日 Because it's our 30th birthday.
不 我们不是30 我们31岁了 Yeah, no, we're not 30. We're 31. Okay.
等一下 Wait.
哦 是你 Oh, it's you.
是 怎么？ Yeah. What?
对 我们不是30 我们是31 Yeah, we're not 30. We're 31.
额 Nuh-uh.
我的出生证明上是这么写的 Yuh-huh. That's what it says on my birth certificate.
你有出生证明？ You have your birth certificate?
我妈去世时 我拿到了 一箱子家庭文件 Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
我们的妈 Our mom.
好 好 Right. Okay.
- 你有我的吗？ - 没有 我卖给了一个逃家的瑞典人 - Do you have my birth certificate? - No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
我的老天 Oh, my God.
我的老天 我们31了 Oh, my God, we are 31.
是啊 Yeah.
我失去了整整一年生命 I just lost a whole year of my life.
好 Okay.
- 你的纪念名字是潘蜜拉？ - 对 - Your middle name is Pamela? - Yes.
我从不知道我的是什么 你记得是什么吗？ Oh, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
记得 是菲比 Yes. Phoebe.
- 那是我的正式名字 - 对 好吧 那我不知道 - That's my first name. - Right. Okay. Then, no.
我们成功地穿过了客厅 你做的很好 Look at that. We made it all the way across the room. You're doing great.
- 怎么回事？ - 摩妮卡有一点醉了 - What's going on? - Monica's a little drunk.
我喜欢酒醉的摩妮卡 Yay, I love drunk Monica.
她比正常的摩妮卡有趣多了 Oh, she's so much more fun than regular Monica.
她不想让她的父母知道 She doesn't want her parents to know she's drunk.
好 好 我们这么做 Oh, all right, all right. Here's what we'll do.
我来比她醉得厉害两倍 就没有人会注意她了 I'll get twice as drunk as Monica and then no one's even gonna notice her.
怎么了？ What's going on?
摩妮卡醉了 Monica's wasted.
或许能让这个宴会有点生机 Maybe that'll liven up this party.
你能不能帮她换衣服？ Okay, will you just go help her get changed, please?
照顾酒醉 裸体的女人 好像是乔伊的工作 Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
耶 Yep.
- 这是我的礼物 - 啊 - This one's from me. - Ah.
这不在你的礼物单子上 不过它真的很好玩 It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun.
滑板车 A scooter.
照着单子买 Stick to the list.
永远记得照着单子买 Always stick to the list.
不 不 我很喜欢 谢谢 No, no, no, I love it. Thank you.
下一个开我们的礼物 下一个开我们的 Okay, open ours next. Open ours next.
你们现在是一对 我们就没两个礼物了？ Now that you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you?
我上一个生日 你送我一个拥抱 For my last birthday, you gave me a hug.
- 念卡片 念卡片 - 好吧 - Okay, read the card, read the card. - Okay.
"生日快乐 祖母 "Happy birthday, Grandma.
开始走下坡总比… It's better to be over the hill...
被埋在坡下要好 ...than buried under it.
我们爱你 摩妮卡和钱德"好好笑 All our love, Monica and Chandler." That's funny.
不 不 只是一个玩笑 No, no, no, no. That was a joke.
我知道 我懂了 很好笑 I know, I get it. It's funny.
因为你不是祖母 No, because you're not a grandmother.
做为一个祖母 必须结了婚有小孩 I know, because to be a grandmother, you have to be married and have children.
我全都没有 所以真的很好笑 I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny.
我要… I'm just gonna go...
你只需要买张卡片而己 All you had to do was buy the card.
好吧 你懂吗？ Okay, you know what?
为着没有先生孩子就不高兴 是很笨 It was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids.
我只需要一个计划 All I really needed was a plan.
我想生三个小孩 See, I wanna have three kids.
你要全部同一个时候生 Let me guess. And you want to have them all at the same time...
把他们给你弟弟 哈哈 ...and you want to have them for your brother. Ha, ha.
我正在说… As I was saying...
我应该在35岁以前生第一个 I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I'm 35, right?
这样我还有五年 Which gives me five years.
如果我35时要生孩子 我34岁时才需要怀孕 So if I wanna have a kid when I'm 35, I don't have to get pregnant until I'm 34.
普拉达还有四年时间生产孕妇装 Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes.
我想在怀孕之前至少结婚一年 Oh, wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant.
真的？要那么久？ Really? That long?
你爱怎么看都行 已经在发生了 Look all you want, it's happening.
我到33岁再结婚就好 So I don't have to get married until I'm 33.
我还有3年 还有整整三年 That's three years. That's three whole years.
不过 等一下 Oh, wait a minute though.
我需要一年半来筹备婚礼 I'll need a year and a half to plan the wedding.
我希望能认识这个人一年至一年半… And I'd like to know the guy for like a year, year and a half...
再订婚 ...before we get engaged.
这表示我必须在30岁时认识这个人 Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I'm 30.
没有问题 因为你才刚刚满… Which is fine, because you just turned...
...28. 28
不 罗斯 不 有问题 No, Ross. No, it is not fine.
我应该和我要嫁的对象在一起了 According to my plan, I should already be with the guy that I'm gonna marry.
你可不可以不要跳？ Will you quit hogging it?
我告诉你 这就好像看着斑比学走路 Oh, I'm telling you, it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
你醉了 You're drunk.
爸和妈会生气 Mom and Dad are gonna be mad.
也许我有一点醉了 Maybe I'm a little drunk.
那是蟹饼吗？ Hey. Are those crab cakes?
我不是告诉你 蟹饼一出来立刻拿来给我？ Did I not tell you to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
觉得怎么样？ How you feeling?
你好帅 You are so handsome.
我想在此时此地和你上床 I want to make love to you right here, right now.
我希望你不会 I really wish that you wouldn't.
再撑一下 我们就可以带你去睡觉 All you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay?
只要微笑 不要说话 Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and don't talk to anyone.
演讲 演讲 寿星演讲 Speech, speech. Let's hear from the birthday girl, huh?
菲比 Pheebs.
看 大家都在看我 Don't you see, everybody's looking at me.
我的计划很有效 The plan's working.
我还没脱掉上衣呢 I didn't even have to take off my top yet.
演讲 演讲 Speech. Come on, speech.
快点 演讲 Come on. Speech.
你连离开她一秒钟都不行 Hey, Chandler, you can't keep your hands off her for one second.
很好啊 Oh, I think it's nice.
我必须这样 I think it's necessary.
我要谢谢大家来到这里 I wanna thank you all for coming.
我的家人和我的朋友 My family and my friends.
哇哦 Whoo-hoo.
我很想说我… I'd really like to say that I'm, um...
知道我真的很想说什么吗？ You know what I'd really like to say?
我醉了 I'm drunk.
没错 爸 妈 That's right, Mom and Dad.
你们的小口琴醉了 Your little "Harmomica" is hammered.
猜猜怎么着？我以前也喝醉过 And guess what? I've been drunk before.
我抽过烟 And I've smoked a cigarette.
但是你知道吗？你知道吗？ But you know what? You know what?
没关系 没关系 因为我今天满30岁了 It's all okay. It's okay, because I turned 30 today.
我想做什么就做什么 And I can do anything I want.
因为我是成年人了 Because I am a grownup.
- 好 快 替我脱掉 - 耶 - Okay, quick. Help me get this off. - Yeah.
我失去了整整一年 I lost a whole year.
真不能相信 真不公平 I can't believe it. This is so unfair.
菲比 没有关系的 Come on, Pheebs, it'll be okay.
是吗？是吗？ Will it? Will it?
如果你发现你变31岁了 你会怎么成觉？ How would you feel if you found out you were 31?
不会的 因为我们有个新约定 That's not gonna happen, you know, because we have a new deal.
还有 这毁了我的时间表 Plus, it totally ruined my schedule.
我还没做那些我31岁前想做的事 I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31.
- 像什么？ - 像… - Like what? - Like, okay...
像是我还不认识任何葡萄牙人 ...I haven't met any Portuguese people.
我还没有完美地接吻过 I haven't had the perfect kiss.
我还没去上狙击手学校 And I haven't been to sniper school.
我们去吃蛋糕吧 Phoebe, why don't we go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
我只想一个人静一下 待会见 谢谢 No, I just feel like being by myself for a while, all right? I'll see you guys later.
谢谢 Thanks.
可怜的菲比 Oh, poor Pheebs.
嘿 知道吗？我想我要陪她走回家 Hey, you know what, you guys? I think I'm gonna go walk her home.
- 老天 - 怎么？ - Oh, man. - What?
他会吃了蛋糕 He's gonna eat the cake.
菲比 Pheebs. Wait up.
听着 我… Listen, I...
闭上眼睛 Close your eyes.
你可以将这一项从单子上划掉 Maybe that's one you can cross off your list.
哦 对了 Oh, yeah. Heh.
还有 我是16分之1的葡萄牙人 Oh, and plus, I'm one-sixteenth Portuguese.
好 大家都清楚了？我们要将它抬起来… Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up...
然后移动它 ...and move it.
只需要团队工作 我们要抬起这台车… All we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car...
把它滑出来 ...and slide it out.
抬起来… Lift...
滑出来 ...and slide.
- 罗斯我真的不觉得这…- 抬起来… - Ross, I really don't think this... - Lift...
滑出来 ...and slide.
- 好 开始吧 - 好 大伙儿 - Okay, here we go. - All right, everyone.
抬起来… Lift...
移出来 ...and slide.
- 嘿 乔伊… - 别这样 瑞秋 才刚轮到我 - Hey, Joey... - Oh, come on, Rach, my turn just started.
其实我是要和泰格说话 Actually, I just want to talk to Tag.
哦 好 嘿 我可以到外面溜吗？ Oh, okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
- 随便 我不是你妈 - 好吧 - Whatever, okay? I'm not your mother. - Okay.
- 不要到街上 - 耶 - Not in the street! - Yeah.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 有没有觉得好一点？ - 有 我很好 我… - How you doing, you feeling any better? - Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm, um...
- 我们谈谈 - 好吧 - Let's talk. - Okay.
- 额… - 什么事？ - Um... - What's up?
泰格… Uh, Tag, um...
你真是个好男人 我们在一起很开心 You're such a great guy, and we have so much fun together.
- 可是我… - 等一下 - But I... - Wait.
我想我知道你要做什么 I think I see where you're going.
在你说任何话之前 我可以先说一件事吗？ But before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing?
说的好 Well said.
正是我所谓很开心的好例子 And a, uh, good example of the fun I was referring to.
但我想我已经过了只要开心的时候 Uh, but, heh, I think I'm past the point where I can, you know, just have fun.
瑞秋 不要这样 这只是因为你30岁了 Rachel, don't do this. This is just because you're turning 30.
是的 Yeah, it is.
而你只是个孩子 你才25岁 But you're just a kid. I mean, you're 25.
- 其实是24岁 - 老天 - Twenty-four, actually. - Oh, God.
你知道我希望什么？ 我希望你比现在大6岁 You know what I wish? I wish you were six years older.
如果是希望的话 其实我希望自己年轻6岁 Well, actually, if I'm wishing for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
- 我也是 - 是啊 对不起 - Me too. - Yeah. I'm sorry.
嘿 谈得怎么样？ Hey, how'd it go?
哦 Oh.
如果我只要生两个孩子 我可以再保留他一年吗？ If I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
你做的对 You did the right thing.
我不喜欢它了 I don't like this anymore.
我们在这儿 一群30岁的人 Well, here we are. Just a bunch of 30-year-olds.
你知道再过10年 我们就40岁了？ Wow, do you realize in 10 years we're gonna be 40?
为什么 上帝？为什么这么对我们？ Why, God? Why are you doing this to us?
太好了 我的宝贝终于自由了 Yes. My baby's finally free.
好极了 All right.
启动 我们走 Start it up. Let's go.
哇哦 Whoo-hoo!
我们拉不拉风？ How hot are we?
你要买车吗？ You wanna buy a car?