钱德 钱德 Chandler! Chandler!
我从窗户看见了 I saw what you were doing through the window.
我看见你在对我妹做什么了 你给我出来 I saw what you were doing to my sister, now, get out here!
听着 我们玩得很开心 Well, listen, we had a good run.
总共4个月？5个月？ You know? What was it? Four, five months?
比很多人一辈子加起来都久 I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime.
再见 保重 再见了 So goodbye, take care, bye-bye then.
- 你干什么？ - 我要落跑 - What are you doing? - Oh, I'm going on the lam.
过来 我应付得了罗斯 Come on, Chandler. Come on. I can handle Ross.
等一下 Hold on.
罗斯老哥 你好吗？ Hey, Ross. What's up, bro?
你干了什么好事？ What the hell are you doing?
发生什么事了？ Hey, what's going on?
我想… 罗斯发现我和摩妮卡的事了 Well, I think... I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
他人就在那里 Dude, he's right there.
我以为你是我最好的朋友 这是我妹妹 I thought you were my best friend. This is my sister.
我最要好的朋友和我妹妹 我真不敢相信 My best friend and my sister. I cannot believe this.
我们不是玩玩而已 我爱她 We're not just messing around. I love her.
好吗？我爱着她 Okay? I'm in love with her.
抱歉让你这样发现 I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way.
对不起 但是真的 我也爱他 I'm sorry, but it's true. I love him too.
我最要好的朋友和我妹妹 My best friend and my sister.
我真不敢相信 I cannot believe this.
你们也想抱抱吧？大消息喔 You guys want to probably get some hugs in too, huh? Big news.
不用了 我们知道一阵子了 Oh, no, that's okay. We've actually known for a while.
什么？你们知道？ What? What? You guys knew?
你们都知道 却没告诉我？ You all knew and you didn't tell me?
罗斯 我们很担心你 好吗？ Well, Ross, we were worried about you, okay?
不知道你会有什么反应 We didn't know how you were going to react.
嗯 Mm-mm.
你们担心我？ You were worried about me?
不知道我会有什么反应？ You didn't know how I was gonna react?
好吧 Okay. All right. Whew.
我们要不要清个场… What do you say we all, uh, clear out of here...
让这对小情人继续办事 ...and let these two love birds get back down to business.
我只是说说 上你妹的是他 Hey, hey, hey. I'm just talking here. He's the one doing your sister.
(中央咖啡厅)
你们猜我想到什么？ Hey, you know what I just realized?
- 要是你们生了小孩… - 我们生小孩？ - If you guys ever have kids... - Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're having kids?
教父是我的 I call godfather.
哪能这样用说的 You can't just call godfather.
你不觉得应该由她哥哥当吗？ Don't you think her brother should be godfather?
当然 你有心就应该先喊 Sure. If you cared enough to call it first.
- 你们想得太远了 - 十万八千里的远 - Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us. - Yeah, big zero-gravity moon steps.
我刚想到一样最棒的结婚礼物 Oh, oh, I just thought of the greatest wedding gift to get you.
我跟你送 我什么都想不到 Oh, I'll go in on that with you. I couldn't think of anything.
凯蒂 Hey, Katie.
- 嘿 各位 这是凯蒂 - 嗨 - Hey, everyone, this is Katie. - Hi.
- 嗨 - 可以走了吗？ - Hi. - You ready to go?
- 可以 我先上个厕所 - 往后走 - Yeah, just gotta run to the bathroom. - Sure.
- 我们午餐要吃什么？ - 我想吃中国菜 - Hey, where are we going to lunch? - I was thinking maybe Chinese food.
我最爱吃中国菜了 I love Chinese.
你怎么知道我爱吃中国菜？ How did you know I love Chinese?
她真可爱 She is so cute.
可以塞进口袋里 You could fit her right in your little pocket.
我不知道 我很喜欢她 她人很好 但是… I don't know. I mean, I like her a lot, and she's really nice, but...
但是怎样？ But what?
她老爱打我 She keeps punching me.
用她刚才那种可爱的方式？ In the cute little, sweet way she just did?
力道比表面上大多了 好吗？ Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks, okay?
她把我打痛了 She's hurting me.
我知道了 你需要保镖 I know what you need. You need a bodyguard.
罗斯 班下课之后有事吗？ Hey, Ross, what is Ben doing after preschool?
别这样 乔伊有烦恼 他被个小女孩揍了 Okay, come on, Joey is having a problem. There's a little girl who's beating him up.
啊 乔伊 过来 Aw, Joey, come here. Look.
亲爱的 我知道你一定非常难受… Honey, I know. This must be really, really difficult for you, and...
抱歉 我握痛你了吗？ Oh, I'm sorry, am I hurting you?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 我带了乔迁之礼来 - 喔 - I brought you some housewarming gifts. - Oh.
- 盐 让你的生活有味 - 啊 - Salt, so your life always has flavor. - Ah.
- 面包 让你永不饥饿 - 噢 - Bread, so you never go hungry. - Oh.
浴室用香精蜡烛 And a scented candle for the bathroom.
因为 你知道的 Because, well, you know.
谢谢 谢谢…再次感谢 Well, thanks. Thanks. And thanks, I guess.
嗨 欢迎你搬进来 我是史提夫沙拉 管委会主席 Hi. Welcome to the building. I'm Steve Cera, President of the tenants' committee.
你好 我是罗斯盖勒 这是我朋友菲比 Oh, hi. Ross Geller. And, uh, this is my friend Phoebe.
- 菲比你好 - 主席先生 - Hi, Phoebe. - Mr. President.
我来跟你谈霍华德的事 I, uh, came to talk to you about Howard.
霍华德？ Howard?
他是这里的杂工 下星期退休 Yeah, he's the handyman. He's gonna be retiring next week...
这里的住户决定每人交1百元 ...and everyone who lives here is kicking in a hundred bucks...
感谢他多年来的辛劳 ...as a "thank you for all the hard work" type of thing.
- 真有人情味 - 是啊 - Oh, that's nice. - Yeah.
所以你想闲支票 还是？ So you want to give me a check, or?
噢 额… Oh, uh...
你不必现在给我 你可以塞进我家门口 You don't have to give it to me now. You can slip it under my door.
不是那样的 我才刚搬来 No, no, it's not that. It's just... I just moved in.
他在这里工作了25年 Well, the guy's worked here for 25 years.
但我才搬进来25分钟 Yes, but I've lived here for 25 minutes.
哦 Oh.
好 我懂了 Okay, I get it.
等等 我很抱歉 但我甚至没见过霍华德 Wait. Look, I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard.
我不认识霍华德 I mean, I don't know Howard.
霍华的是杂务工人 Howard's the handyman.
但对我来说他只是个"人" Yes, but to me he's just "man."
好 随便 Okay. Fine. Whatever.
欢迎你搬进来 Welcome to the building.
真是有够扯的 Can you believe that guy?
是啊 我很喜欢他的眼镜 Yeah. I really like his glasses.
史提夫主席逢人就说我吝啬… So then President Steve told everyone I was a cheapskate...
现在整栋楼的人都讨厌我 ...and now the whole building hates me.
有小孩朝我的膝盖吐口水 A little kid spit on my knee.
你们猜怎样？我要办一场派对 邀请整栋楼的人 You know what? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right, for everyone in the building.
我要请他们坐下告诉他们我不是坏人 And I'm gonna sit them all down and explain to them that I am not a bad guy.
我不是一个吝啬人 我不是一个吝啬的… I am not a cheap guy. I'm just a guy...
我只是个坚持理念 ...who stands up for what he believes in.
有原则的人 A man with principles.
- 听起来真好玩 - 嗯 - Sounds like a fun party. - Mm.
罗斯 如果你希望邻居喜欢你 Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you...
为什么不付钱算了？ ...why don't you just pay the hundred bucks?
- 办一场派对更花钱 - 那不重要 - A party's gonna cost you way more. - That doesn't matter.
这是原则问题 重点是我的原则 It's my principles. We're talking about my principles.
好 我以为重点是讨邻居喜欢 Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
等他们参加过我的派对 就会喜欢我了 Oh, they'll like me once they come to my awesome par-tay.
我得走了 我要去买名牌 Okay, I gotta run. I gotta go get some nametags.
办个派对动物会是你的大舅子 And that crazy party animal will be your brother-in-law.
真幽默 但别对着摩妮卡讲 Very, very funny. But don't say things like that in from of Monica.
别让她有那些念头 I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
钱德 你应该知道 Um, Chandler, you do realize that those ideas...
她可能本来就有那种念头了？ ...are probably already in Monica's head?
为什么？ Why?
因为她爱你 你也爱她 Well, because she loves you and because you love her.
那又怎样呢？ Yeah, so? What's that supposed to mean?
你不要被吓到 我只是在讲你知道的事 Hey, Chandler, don't freak out. I'm telling you something you already know.
她因理查不要小孩而跟他分手 Come on. She broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies.
她是个女人 快30了 而且她是摩妮卡 And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and, you know, it's Monica.
我不是那样看的 我看到两个摩妮卡 I don't see it that way. Okay? I see two Monicas:
朋友的摩妮卡住在对面 想生一大堆小孩 The one that was my friend who lives across the hall and wanted a lot of babies.
另一个新的摩妮卡跟我交往 谁晓得她想要什么？ And the new Monica who I started to date. Now, who is to say what she wants?
我说得没错 我说得没错吧？ I'm right. I'm right. Am I right?
你说得对 Yeah, you're right.
你说得一点也没错 情况确实完全不同 You are absolutely right. I mean, that makes everything different.
好吧 Okay.
点也没有不同对吧？ It's not different, is it?
除非不同等于样 Not unless "different" means the same.
你跟那个服务生好逗喔 你真是个疯子 You were so funny with that waiter. You're such a nut.
扮吸血鬼本来就好笑 You know, breadstick fangs are always funny.
是你让它变好笑的 是你好笑 No, you make them funny. You're the funny one.
凯蒂 我们得沟通一下 Uh, look, Katie, uh, listen, we need to talk, okay?
额 我喜欢你 我真的很喜欢你 好吗？ Um, look, I like you. I really do. I like you a lot, okay?
但当你开玩笑打我 But sometimes when you playfully punch me like that...
感觉就像被一根很小 但很结实的球棒打到 ...it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny, but a very real bat.
我哪能把你打痛 Oh. Like I could hurt you.
- 你在取笑我的身材吗？ - 不 - Are you making fun of my size? - No.
不要取笑我的身材 Don't make fun of me because of my size.
- 这种感觉真好 - 嗯 - Isn't this great? - Mm.
真想永远这样 Couldn't you just stay like this forever?
钱德？ Chandler?
你想不想永远这样？ Couldn't you just stay here forever?
这样 那样 哪样都可以 Yeah, here, somewhere else. You know, wherever. Ha, ha.
- 你还好吗？ - 我很好 - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm cool.
很随性 Casual.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
只是随便混混玩玩 跟你随性的交往 Just hanging out. Having fun, you know, uh, with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
我就知道 我就知道你会这样 Man, I knew it. I knew you were going to do this.
怎样？ What?
被大家讨论和开玩笑的事吓到 Get all freaked out because everybody was joking around about marriage.
你的确想要那些事吧？ Well, you do want all that stuff, right?
你知道我想要什么？ And you know what I want?
没错 你想要小孩 你有孩子狂 Yes. You want babies. You have baby fever.
我才没有孩子狂 I do not have baby fever.
拜托 你超迷恋小孩和婚姻 Oh, please. You are obsessed with babies and marriage...
和一切跟小孩和婚姻有关的事 ...and everything that's related to babies and marriage.
我有个提议 让这个压力锅减压一下吧 You know what? Why don't we turn the heat down on this pressure cooker?
你疯了吗？ Have you lost your mind?
钱德 这不是我的问题 Chandler, this isn't about me.
是你不敢做出承诺 This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap.
少来 我了解你 我知道你脑袋里在想什么 Uh-uh. I know you, okay? I know the thoughts that you have in your head.
你并非什么都知道 Well, you don't know everything.
你知道我今晚要跟瑞秋出去吗？嗯？ Did you know I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm?
你知道最幼雅的是你吗？ And that the only baby around here is you?
你知道我连看都不想看你吗？ And did you know I can't even look at you right now?
那我倒是不知道 Yeah, well, I did not know that.
不会有事吧？她不会离开我吧 这是可以解决的 It's gonna be okay, right? I mean, she's not gonna leave me. This is fixable.
- 当然 - 当然 - Yeah, sure. - Absolutely.
- 我可以解决 - 不可能 - By me? - Oh, no, no, no.
除非你有大动作 Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture.
要非常大 Yeah, big, though.
女主角来了 Shh. The missus.
阿甘 我要一杯咖啡 Gunther, can I get a coffee?
外带 To go.
摩妮卡 Monica...
我还不想跟你说话 I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you.
告诉我怎样弥补 Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
- 什么？ - 我们都这样 - What? - That's what we do.
我做错事 你教我怎么补救 I mess up, you tell me how to fix it and I do.
我补救完 你又觉得我很可爱 And then, you know, you think I'm all cute again.
我不想再当你的爱情指导了 I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor.
这次你得自己想好吗 You're gonna have to figure this out for yourself.
如果你懒得好好经营感情 You know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship...
就别谈感情 ...then don't be in one.
霍华德 霍华德 霍华德… NHoward! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard!
菲比？菲比 Phoebe. Phoebe.
罗斯 Oh, hi, Ross.
你在干什么？ What are you doing here?
我以为这是你的派对 结果是替霍德华办的派对 Oh, I thought this was your party, and it turns out it's a party for Howard.
他真是个老可爱 He's the sweetest little man.
菲比再见 谢谢你出钱 See you, Phoebe. Oh, and, hey, thanks for chipping in.
不客气 Oh, sure.
你出了钱？ You chipped in?
对 一百块钱 Yeah, uh-huh, hundred dollars.
你居然给他们钱 Phoebe, I can't believe you gave him money.
你不是也同意他们要我出钱 是很不合理的？ I thought you agreed it was unreasonable that they asked me for that money.
对 但他们没有要我出 Yeah, but they didn't ask me, you know?
当性感大方的陌生人最好玩了 This way I'm just, you know, the exotic, generous stranger.
这真有趣 That's always fun to be.
但你让我很难看 Yeah, but you're making me look bad.
谁说的 我是在帮你加分 No, I'm not. No, if anything, I'm making you look better.
他们会看见你在跟我说话 我又很红 They'll see you talking to me, and I'm a hit.
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
罗斯 Oh, hey, Ross.
你们或许可以交换住处 Um, say, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments.
因为菲比跟我们比较搭茬 Because Phoebe is more our kind of people.
你考虑一下 Something to think about it.
是我不好 Yeah, okay, my bad.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
哇 你看起来好壮 Wow. You look big.
谢谢 最近有在练 Thanks, I've been working out.
看得出来我穿六件毛衣吗？ Hey, listen, is it obvious I'm wearing six sweaters?
看得出来 Uh, yeah.
但看不出来为什么 But it's not obvious why.
我要跟凯蒂分手 所以得多加几层护垫 Well, look, I'm breaking up with Katie, so I had to put on some extra padding.
她平常高兴就会打我 You know, I mean, if she hits me when she's happy...
现在我要收回乔伊之爱… ...can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me...
她岂不是打得更用力？ ...when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
嘿 Hey.
嘿 嘿 好可爱的外套 Hey. Hey, cute jacket.
谢谢 Oh, thanks.
- 你真好 - 哇哦 - That's so sweet. - Whoa. Ow.
哦 "喔" Oh, "Ow."
是乔伊要你叫的吗？你们真是够了 Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys are too much.
哇哦 哈哈 Whoa. Ha, ha.
你知道吗？说真的… You know what? I gotta tell you...
我觉得你才够了 ...I think you're the one that is too much.
乔伊的朋友真棒 Joey has the nicest friends.
女朋友更棒 And the nicest girlfriend.
你真好 You're so sweet.
- 你才好 - 啊 - You're so sweet. - Ow!
乔伊 Joey?
她踢我 She just kicked me.
嗯 Huh.
你不替我出头吗？ Well, aren't you gonna do something?
额… Uh...
你最好替我出头 否则我现在就走人 You better do something or I'm gonna walk out that door right now.
你要不要？ Well, are you gonna?
不要 Nah.
- 菲比？ - 哈哈 我就是这个意思 - Phoebe? - Ha, ha. That's what I was saying.
菲比？菲比 Phoebe? Phoebe?
这真是人间地狱 我走了好不好？ This is a disaster. Can't I please just go?
不行 我正在帮你说好话 I'm talking you up to people.
再等一下下 放轻松 拿东西吃好吗？ Just give it a little time, all right? Relax. Get something to eat.
你跟他们说了什么？ So, uh, what did you tell them about me?
我说了你和艾蜜莉的事 好争取同情心 Um, I told them about you and Emily. You know, trying to get some sympathy.
但讲一讲你成了坏人 But somehow you came off as the bad guy.
- 什么？ - 我想我说的方式不对 - What? - Yeah, I think I told it wrong.
我们应该先聊聊… We should talk about that...
我不太知道前因后果 ...because I don't totally understand what happened there.
这个蛋糕真好吃 Oh. This cake is really good.
看吧？情况已经在好转了 Okay, see? Things are looking up already.
天哪 有人切了霍华的蛋糕 Oh, my God. Someone cut Howard's cake.
谁会做这种低级的事？ Who would do a thing like that?
3-B. 3B
你白吃白喝 扫了大家的兴 Okay, you got your free food, you ruined everyone's fun.
- 是不是该回家了？ - 没错 - Don't you think it's time you went home? - Yeah.
没错 快滚回3B去 3B Yeah, go back to 3-B, 3-B.
大家安静一下 All right, everyone, calm down. Everyone, calm down.
我有话要说 I have something that I would like to say.
这里有谁喜欢罗斯？ Who here likes Ross?
你们当然不喜欢他 Of course you don't like him.
他不交钱 He didn't give you any money.
我问有谁喜欢他 他自己举手 He raised his own hand when I asked, "Who here likes Ross?"
他还贴两个名牌 And he's wearing two nametags.
老实说 刚开始我也不喜欢他 I'll be honest with you guys. When I first met Ross, I didn't like him at all.
但了解他之后 我就发现… But then once I got to know him, I saw that he's really sweet...
他很好很大方 ...and caring and very generous.
请不要还不了解他就论断他 好吗？ I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him, all right?
我现在很喜欢你们 但是当见面时 You know, I like all of you guys now. But when I first met you, you know...
寇特 粗鲁的酒鬼 Kurt? I thought, you know, abrasive drunk.
萝拉 笨得令人傻眼 Um, Lola, mind-numbingly stupid.
还有你们 淘金女 老牛吃嫩草的变态 And, okay, you guys: Gold digger, cradle-robbing perv.
你们懂我的意思吧 So I think you all know what I mean.
我没想到他们会扔东西 Obviously, I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things.
我想说我一直羞辱他们 你就会跳出来帮他们 I just thought if I kept insulting them you would jump in and defend everyone.
你就可以变成英雄 对喔 Then you could look like the hero.
哦 哇 Oh, wow, yeah.
太深奥了 See, I did not get that.
摩妮卡呢？我有急事找她 她在吗？ Where's Monica? Where is she? I need to talk to her, it's urgent. Is she here?
- 我是摩妮卡 - 我有急事要找你 好 - I'm Monica. - I need to talk to you. It's urgent.
- 好吧 - 好吧 我想了很多我们的事… - Okay. - Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking...
你和我的事 ...about us. You know, a lot of, uh, "us" thinking.
我猜只有一个办法 And, uh, well, I guess there's only one way to do this.
- 等等 你要干什么？ - 摩妮卡… - Wait, wait. What are you doing? - Monica...
不 不 拜托不要 No, no, no. Don't do it.
你愿意嫁给我吗？ Will you marry me?
- 噢 不 不 - 什么馊主意 - Oh, no, no, no. - What a bad idea.
我不敢看 Oh, I can't not look at it.
钱德 你为什么要这样？ Chandler, why are you doing this?
我不知道 I don't know.
但是我知道我不怕 But I know I'm not afraid to do this.
钱德 Chandler.
因为我很抱歉？ I'm doing this because I'm sorry?
你真的觉得结婚的最好理由 是因为你很抱歉？ Do you, um, really think the best reason to get married is because you're sorry?
不 最好的理由是奉子成婚 Oh, no, the best reason to get married is pregnancy.
抱歉大约排第四 在准备好了跟真的想结婚后面 Sorry is pretty much fourth, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married.
你愿意做我的妻子吗？ Will you be my wife?
钱德 你先静下来 Chandler, um, I want you to take just a minute...
想想这件事有多荒谬 ...and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
我的确有点希望他们都不在 Yeah, I'm kind of wishing everyone wasn't here right now.
这些事都不是我扯出来的 You know that none of that stuff came from me.
我从来没说现在就想结婚生子 I mean, I never said that I wanted to have babies and get married right now.
但我真的很乱 后来又跟他们谈过 Yeah, I know, I was really confused, and then I talked to these guys.
离婚两次的人和乔伊？ Who? Two divorces and Joey?
- 嘿 - 她说得对 - Hey. - She's right, you know.
但这种奚落算什么？ Yeah, but still, cheap shot.
你知道吗？我不是要你… You know when I said that I want you...
自己想该怎么做？ ...to deal with relationship stuff all on your own?
- 你还做不到这点 - 我也这么认为 - Well, you're not ready for that. - I didn't think I was.
天哪 Oh, my God.
要是我答应了呢？ What would you have done if I had said yes?
那我会很开心 Well, I would've been happy because...
能跟心爱的人共度下半生 ...I would have been able spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.
又或者你会在那扇门上 看到我的人形洞 Or you would have seen a Chandler-shaped hole in that door.
- 罗斯 请把刀子给我 - 不 我才不要 - Hey, Ross, will you pass me that knife? - No, I will not.
你不必这么凶吧 It's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
你说得对 对不起 嫁给我好吗？ You're right. I'm sorry. Will you marry me?
我正想向你求婚 Oh, and I was going to ask you to marry me...
因为我上星期忘了跟你打招呼 ...because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
那种情况应该只需要同居 Oh, no, wait, Pheebs. I think with something like that...
但我也不确定 钱德？ ...you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure. Chandler?
好 我还要被笑多久？ Ha, ha, okay, how long is this gonna go on?
那得看你做的… Well, I think the length of teasing...
事有多扯 ...is directly related to how insane you were.
会很久 So a long time.
真好玩 记得"我们分手了"风波吗？ This is fun. Oh, hey, Rach, remember that whole "we were on a break" thing?
我很抱歉 嫁给我好吗？ Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me?
不好笑 That's not funny.