- 嘿 - 嘿 俗话说得没错 - Hey. - Hey. Wow, it is true what they say:
肚子大当鼓打 Pregnant bellies look like a drum.
哈哈… Ha, ha.
我已经大到不能拿吉他 Well, it's just I'm so pregnant that my guitar doesn't fit anymore.
所以生产前我打算用鼓伴奏 So I thought, till I'm not, I'm gonna play my songs on this drum.
听起来超酷的 It sounds really cool.
你们听 Listen, listen. Ahem. Okay.
臭臭猫 臭臭猫 Smelly cat, smelly cat
他们喂你吃什么？ What are they feeding you?
菲比 听起来不错啊 Wow, Pheebs, that sounds great.
我知道 而且我才练了1小时 I know, I know! And I've only been playing for, like, an hour.
- 菲比 - 嘿 - Phoebe. Phoebe. Hi. - Hey.
你怎么来了？ What are you doing here?
我来请你帮个大忙 Um, actually I came down to ask you a big favor.
别说你还想塞东西进来 Oh, well, don't tell me you want to keep more of your stuff in my uterus.
不… 是这样的 No, no, no. Okay. Now, see. Ahem.
我想帮女孩取名莱丝莉 I want to name the girl baby Leslie.
法兰克想叫其中一个男孩 And, um, Frank wants to name one of the boy babies...
法兰克二世二世 ...Frank Jr., Jr.
那不就是法兰克三世？ Wouldn't that be Frank III?
说了我就有气 Don't get me started.
既然有三个宝宝 Anyway, um, since there are three babies...
我们又一人取了一个名字 ...and, um, we both got to put our names in...
我们想请你替另一个男孩命名 ...we would be truly honored if you would name the other boy baby.
- 好棒喔 - 哈哈 - That's so nice. Oh, oh! - Ha, ha.
美洲狮 Cougar.
你想一下 You think about it.
我有一件胸罩还在晾 I left a bra drying on the shower rod.
你儿子会不会以为是你的 而心灵受创？ You don't think your son will think it's yours and be traumatized?
妈咪可以有老婆 爸比就可以有胸罩 Hey, Mommy can have a wife. Daddy can have a bra.
该走了 Oh, it's time to go.
不 那个钟快了点 Oh, no, no, no. See, that clock's a little fast.
我们还有17分钟 Uh, we still have 17 minutes.
什么事可以在17分钟内 Huh. What can we do in 17 minutes...
做两次？ ...twice?
野心真大 Well, that's ambitious.
- 别理它 - 是卡萝带你儿子来了 - Okay, you can ignore that. - That's Carol with your son.
等他长大 一定会谅解 Uh, believe me, when he's older, he'll understand.
- 罗斯 - 马上来 - Ross. - I'll be right there.
- 你好 - 嗨 - Hello. Hello. Hey. - Hi.
艾蜜莉 这是卡萝和苏珊 Uh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
- 总算见到你 - 我也是 - Hey, it's so nice to finally meet you. - You too.
苏珊下星期要去伦敦拍广告 对 Susan's gonna be shooting a commercial in London next week.
我好兴奋 我没去过 I'm so excited. I've never been there.
- 我来当地陪 - 太好了 - Oh, well, I'll show you around. - Great.
我还想看秀 你有什么建议？ Also, I was hoping to catch a show. So if you can make any suggestions...
有很多都很棒… Oh, there's tons of terrific stuff.
- 我陪你去 - 噢 - I'll go with you. - Oh.
对不起 Oh, I'm sorry.
你们可真聊得来 Oh. Look at you two bonding.
- 去机场都快来不及了 - 你没事吧？ - Making us late for the airport so... - Are you all right?
他没事 他不喜欢我们处得来 Oh, he's fine, he's fine. It's just us getting along is difficult for him...
因为他不喜欢我 ...because he doesn't like me.
拜托 我… Ha, ha. Come on. That's...
没错 It's true.
- 嗨 - 名字想好了吗？ - Hi. - Hey. Hey, do we have a baby name yet?
还没 好难喔 Ugh, no. It's so hard.
翻这本书也没收获 I went through this whole book and found nothing.
我想取个勇猛有自信… I want a name that's really, like, you know, strong and confident.
例如爱克爽 You know? Like Exxon.
很适合阿拉斯加小孩 Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
你要勇猛的名字？绿巨人如何？ Oh, oh, Pheebs. You want a strong name? How about The Hulk?
绿巨人不太好 No, I'm not sure about Hulk...
不过我喜欢什么"人"的 ...but I like the idea of a name starting with "The."
想取好名字？就取乔伊 Well, you want a good name, heh, go with Joey.
乔伊是好朋友 好兄弟 Joey's your pal, Joey's your buddy.
人都在哪里？都跟乔伊在一起 Where is everybody? They're hanging out with Joey.
要取乔伊 Know what? If you're gonna name him Joey...
还不如取钱德 ...you should name him Chandler.
钱德风趣 世故 一旦了解他 Oh, come on, Chandler's funny, he's sophisticated, and he's very lovable...
就会觉得他很可爱 ...once you get to know him.
乔伊也很可爱 Hey, Joey's lovable too.
重要的是当你需要乔伊 他就会出现 But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, he'll be there.
钱德也会出现 或许会慢一点 Chandler will be there for you too. I mean, he might be a little late...
不过他一定会出现 他还会带冰汽水来 ...but he'll be there. And he'll bring you some cold soda...
如果你找他是因为你很热的话 ...if what you need him for is that you're really hot.
你觉得呢？ What do you say? What do you say?
跟心爱的人同名的想法很好 Well, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love.
乔伊和钱德都是很棒的名字 And Joey and Chandler are both great names.
但是我不… All right, I don't...
或是就叫绿巨人好了 Maybe I will just name him The Hulk.
我不该提的 我想留给我小孩用 I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it. That's what I wanted to name my kid.
要是你想跟约书亚上床… Hey, Mon? If you were hoping to sleep with Joshua for the first time tonight...
会穿哪一件？ ...which one of these would you want to be wearing?
我觉得帮别人挑性感睡衣很怪 You know what? It really creeps me out choosing other people's sex clothes.
对不起 我太兴奋了 Sorry. I'm just so excited.
我等了好几个月 我跑去染发 I've been waiting for this for months. I got my hair colored.
换了床单 还帮他煮大餐 I got new sheets. I'm making him a very fancy meal.
我在煮什么？ What am I making him, by the way?
什锦沙拉 有羊酪 松子 Well, you're making him a frisée salad with goat cheese and pine nuts...
菰米饭 烤庐笋和鲑鱼面包丁 ...wild rice, roasted asparagus and salmon en croute.
我不是要做腓力牛排？ I thought I was making him filet mignon.
本来是 但餐厅的鲑鱼有剩 所以你决定煮鲑鱼 Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over.
然后你想到要是你抱怨 "你"就会罢煮 And then you realized if you bitched about it, then you would stop cooking...
你就得上烤马铃薯加健怡可乐 ...and you would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
"我"煮菜时火气真大 Wow, I really get crabby when I cook.
艾蜜莉昨晚打电话来 So, uh, Emily called last night.
你现在才转告我？ And now you're giving me the message?
结果艾蜜莉爱死苏珊了 Turns out that Emily is just crazy about Susan.
她们一起去看戏 Yeah. They're going to the theater together.
她们一起吃晚饭 They're going to dinner.
她们一起去骑马 They're going horseback riding.
苏珊真会玩 God, Susan is so fun.
这个情节太熟悉了一点 Look, this is just a little too familiar.
我和卡萝分手前整整半年 Okay, for, like, six months before Carol and I split up...
我整天只听到 "我朋友苏珊好聪明" ...all I heard was, "My friend Susan is so smart.
我朋友苏珊好风趣 我朋友苏珊好棒" My friend Susan is so funny. My friend Susan is so great."
你觉得艾蜜莉和苏珊 会擦出火花？ You actually think that something could happen between Emily and Susan?
她们一起上健身房耶 Hey, they're going to the gym together.
两个女人… Two women...
劈腿拉筋 ...stretching.
她们洗蒸汽浴 开始互相逗弄 You know, they take a steam together, things get a little playful.
你们没看过《登峰造极》吗？ Didn't you see Personal Best?
没 但我一定要看 No, but I'm gonna.
先生 你疯了 Hi. Hi. You're crazy.
她是艾蜜莉 艾蜜莉是异性恋 Okay, this is Emily. Emily is straight.
你怎么知道？ How do you know?
我们原先也以为卡萝是异性恋 I mean, we thought Carol was straight before I married her.
我肯定不喜欢罗斯这个名字 Yeah, definitely. I don't like the name Ross.
你落井下石的方式还真怪 What a weird way to kick me when I'm down.
我是说宝宝的名字 No, no, I just meant for the baby.
罗斯有什么不好？ What's wrong with Ross?
绿巨人就不会… It's just, you know, something like this...
遇上这种事 ...would never happen to The Hulk, you know.
谁说的 Actually, that's not true.
《绿巨人》第72集里 布鲁斯班纳博士发现… In The Incredible Hulk, number 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found...
不重要 我女朋友是同性恋 You know, never mind. My girlfriend's a lesbian.
我决定不是乔伊就是钱德 So I decided I'm definitely gonna go with either Joey or Chandler.
你一定要选乔伊 You gotta pick Joey.
有哪个名人叫钱德？ I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
- 雷蒙钱德勒 - 你捏造的人不算 - Raymond Chandler. - Someone you didn't make up.
乔伊才没有名人 除了… Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, heh...
乔伊巴塔富寇 ...Joey Buttafuoco.
- 他的确是我们的心头之痛 - 好吧 - Yeah, that guy really hurt us. - Yeah.
加起来除以二如何？例如… Well, how about a compromise then? Okay, what if it's...
钱道伊？ ...you know, Chan-no-ey?
乔伊？你想嘛 他绝对当不上总统 Okay, look, Joey? Come on, think about it. He'll never be president.
绝对不会出现乔伊总统 I mean, there's never gonna be a President Joey.
听着 我本来不想提的 All right, look, I didn't want to bring this up.
但钱德是我听过最蠢的名字 But Chandler is the stupidest name I've heard in my life.
它根本不是名字 连个词都不是 It's not even a name. It's barely even a word.
它有点接近钱包 但又不是 Okay, it's kind of like chandelier but it's not.
它是个蠢到爆的非名字 All right? It's a stupid, stupid, non-name.
哇 Wow.
你说得对 我的名字烂透了 You're right. I have a horrible, horrible name.
对不起 我不是… 对不起 I'm sorry, man. I didn't... I'm sorry.
所以就是乔伊罗 So I guess it's Joey, then. I mean...
真好 谢谢你这么费心 This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
别客气 烹饪能舒缓我的心 Oh. Please. Cooking soothes me.
- 吃吧 - 好 - So dig in. - All right.
- 看起来都好好吃 - 嗯 - Well, it all looks so good. - Mm.
嗯 Mm.
天哪 Oh, my God.
我知道 天哪 这个饭好… Oh, I know. My God, this rice is so...
我的手艺真好 I am so good.
你后面 Behind you.
没事 他们以前住这里 有时会迁徙回来 Oh, yeah, sorry. They used to live here, and sometimes they migrate back over.
能不能让他们不要在这里 Is there, uh...? Is there some way that they could, uh, not be here?
我最怕家禽了 It's just that, uh, farm birds really kind of freak me out.
出去 Here we go. Here we go. Whoa.
出去 There you go.
你们怎么会敲门？ Hey. How'd you do that?
进来 Come on.
- 都走了 - 嗯 - All gone. - Heh.
家禽是吧？ So, farm birds, huh?
我只有这个怪癖 我发誓 Yeah, it's my only weird thing, I swear.
我不知道会有鸡鸭 否则我会告诉你 And I would have told you about it but I didn't know that they'd be here.
要不要来点… So can I serve you a little...
怎么了？ What, what, what?
没事 只是我知道他们还在 Nothing. Uh, it's just that I know that they're still out there.
他们在对门 隔着两道墙 They're across the hall. I mean, that's two doors away.
他们得啄很久才能把墙啄穿 It's gonna take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
一点也不好笑 That's not funny.
那要不要换个地方？ Would you feel better if we went someplace else?
我们可以把东西打包去你家 I mean, we could pack all this stuff up and, you know, go to your apartment.
我家正在装修 一团混乱 Oh, they're working on it this week. It's a mess.
不过我们可以去我父母家 But, uh, I'm staying at my parents' house. We could go there.
- 你父母家？ - 对 他们出国了 - Your parents'? - They're out of town.
噢 Oh.
那里地方很大 It's a huge place, and it's got this gorgeous view of the park.
视野很棒 会很浪漫 It'd be very, very romantic.
- 如何？ - 好啊 - What do you say? - Yeah, that works.
他们闻得出恐惧 They can smell the fear.
班好吗？ How's Ben?
我问他要不要吃东西 他说不要 Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat. He said no.
我问他要不要睡觉 他说不要 I asked him if he wanted to sleep. He said no.
我问他想做什么 他说不要 I asked what he wanted to do. He said no.
所以他在扫地 So he's sweeping.
有苏珊的消.急吗？ So, um, any word from Susan?
她说她跟艾蜜莉玩得很开心 Ooh, yeah, she said she's having so much fun with Emily.
对了 你有没有想过 Uh, by the by, did it ever occur to you that...
她们或许太开心了一点？ ...I don't know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
什么叫太开心？ What's too much fun?
我们结婚时 你和苏珊的那种闭心 You know, the kind of fun you and Susan had when we were married.
天哪 你真会乱想 Oh, my God. You are so paranoid.
- 是吗？ - 是 - Am I? - Yes.
是吗？ Am I?
艾蜜莉我不知道 I can't speak for Emily...
但苏珊和我的关系很稳定 ...but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
卡萝 我们也是 Uh-huh. Carol, so were we.
你就想像一下 All right, just imagine for a moment...
苏珊认识了别人 她们一拍即合 ...that Susan meets someone, and they really hit it off.
她们从剧院回来 Say they're coming back from the theater...
去酒吧喝个小酒 ...and they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks.
有说有笑 They're laughing, you know.
有人不经意的碰了另一个人 Someone innocently touches someone else.
有火花 There's electricity.
感觉很新鲜 很刺激 It's new. It's exciting.
你敢说完全… Are you telling me there isn't even the slightest possibility...
没有可能出事？ ...of something happening?
- 或许有 - 天哪 - Maybe. - Oh, my God.
听你说我才真的信了 I didn't really believe it until you just said it.
别的小朋友都不信 但那只鸭子真的推我 None of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me.
这里真豪华 Wow. This place is fabulous.
我带你参观 这是楼下的客厅 Yeah, let me show you around. This is the downstairs living room.
有两个客厅？ There's two living rooms?
你一定靠这里把到很多美眉 God, growing up here, this place must have been a real babe magnet.
应该会 但我父母刚搬来 Yeah, well, it would have been, but, uh, my parents just moved here.
你可以靠这里把到很多美眉 Well, you should know this place is a real babe magnet.
要亲热吗？ Want to make out?
这样吧 我去把吃的冰起来 You know, here's an idea. Why don't I put the food in the fridge...
我们待会再吃 ...and we can eat it later?
- 听起来不错 - 嗯 - That sounds like a plan. - Heh.
哪里可以让我梳洗一下？ Um, is there a place that I could go freshen up?
有 直走左边第二个门 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, just down the hall and, uh, second door to your left.
- 儿子 - 你们怎么回来了？ - Oh, hi, darling. - Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
- 我们提前结束行程 - 法国烂透了 - Oh, we cut the trip short. - France sucks.
情况有点特殊 我带了人回来 Um, this may be a little weird, but I've got a date here.
了解 Say no more.
我们拿了吃的就上楼不妨碍你 We'll just grab some food, take it with us upstairs and be out of your hair.
那就好 所以你们没去意大利 Oh, that'd be great. So you didn't even get to Italy?
没有 烂 Yep. Sucks.
你来了 Hi, you.
天哪 Oh, my God.
我知道 我不只会做菜 I know. I can do more than cook.
我喜欢她 她似乎很聪明 I like her. She seems smart.
瑞秋 我爸妈 Rachel, my parents.
很高兴认识你们 So nice to meet you. Hello, hello.
约书亚 那5百元是给你买日用品的 Oh, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
什么？这… 不 你们误会了 What, this? Oh, no. That's not what it is.
我在时装界工作 Okay, I work in fashion.
这是正式的洋装 See, and this is a real dress, actually.
米兰正在流行 They're wearing it in Milan.
我也必须试穿衣服 观察一般人的反应 So part of my job is to wear the clothes and then I see how people respond.
然后回报给布鲁明戴尔的上司 And then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdale's, so...
这次我显然得… And obviously, in this case...
回报说 ...I am going to report back:
"美国 尚嫌大胆" "U.S.A. Not ready."
- 洛杉矶或许可以 - 也对 - Maybe in L.A. - Yes.
- 有道理 - 你们吃过饭了吗？ - There you go. - So have you kids eaten yet?
我们想等事后… 不是 Well, ahem, we were going to do that after. I mean, um...
- 正要吃 - 我们饿死了 - Next. - Well, we're starving.
大家一起出去吃吧 Why don't we just all go get something to eat?
也好 穿着它窝在家里太可惜了 Yeah, well, ha, ha, no use wasting this baby just lying around the house.
所以我们去吃饭 So we'll go eat.
你就穿那样 You'll wear that.
你就穿那样吃饭 We'll be eating and, of course, you'll be wearing that.
我为我说的话道歉 Dude, I am sorry about what I said.
不 你说得对 这个名字太可笑了 Nope, nope, you're right. It is a ridiculous name.
- 也没那么糟 - 当然有 - It's not that bad. - Yes, it is.
从此以后 我没有名字 From now on, I have no first name.
你就叫宾？ So you're just Bing?
我无名无姓 I have no name.
那我们要叫你什么？ So, what are we supposed to call you?
好 你们就暂时叫我… Okay, uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me...
克林 ...Clint.
你才不够酷 No way are you cool enough to pull off "Clint."
那我可以叫什么？ Okay, so, what name am I cool enough to pull off?
金 Um, Gene.
克林 就是克林 It's Clint. It's Clint.
- 金 再见 - 金 再见 - See you later, Gene. - Bye, Gene.
是克林 克林 It's Clint. Clint!
金有什么不好？ What's up with Gene?
- 你穿你的睡衣去吃饭？ - 没错 - You wore your nightie to dinner? - Oh, yeah.
最精彩的是 我背后被服务生泼到水时 And the best part though, was when the waiter spilled water down my back.
我一跳 咪咪弹了出来 I jumped up and my boob popped out.
- 好惨 - 噢 不 - Oh, my God. - Oh, no.
没关系 我的胸型很漂亮 Yeah, it's all right. I got nice boobs.
我刚收到艾蜜莉的留言 So I just picked up a message from Emily.
她和苏珊要一起去读诗会 She and Susan are going to a poetry reading together.
- 所以呢？ - 所以呢？ - So? - So?
诗耶？ Poetry?
苏珊是同志… Susan's gay.
她们有志一同 They're being gay together.
- 艾蜜莉是异性恋 - 你醒醒吧 - Emily's straight. - Oh, wake up.
卡萝真的把你害惨了 Carol really messed you up.
你说什么？ Excuse me?
她害你变成不信任别人 疯疯癫癫爱吃醋的谗臣 She turned you into this untrusting, crazy, jealous sycophant.
我不知道馋臣是什么 但其他都没说错 All right, so I don't know what "sycophant" means, but the rest is right.
我哪有疯疯癫癫爱吃醋 I don't know what you're talking about. I am not a crazy, jealous person.
- 什么？ - 她说得没错 - What? - She's totally right.
以前你老爱吃马克的醋 When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark...
其实根本没事 - 太有道理了 ...and there was nothing going on. - This makes sense.
才怪 It does not.
当然有道理 高中时你每个女友都不忠 Sure it does. In high school, you weren't jealous at all...
你也没吃过醋 ...even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you.
直到92 93年 他都很信任别人 All right, so up until '92, '93, he was very trusting.
然后94年来临 卡萝离开他 砰 纽约鬼影幢幢 Then '94 hit, Carol left him, and bam. Paranoid City.
是的 Yeah.
就是这样 Absolutely, absolutely.
好好玩喔 This is so much fun.
一点也不好玩 This is not fun.
我们只想说别让你和卡萝的事 Look, all we're trying to say is...
破坏你和艾蜜莉的感情 ...don't let what happened with Carol ruin what you've got with Emily.
92年的罗斯就不会 The '92 Ross wouldn't.
我还是觉得马克一定有问题 I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing, though.
什么？你知道吗？我希望艾蜜莉是同志 Wha...? Well, you know what? I hope Emily is a lesbian.
击鼓 Drum roll.
好… Okay. Okay.
没问题 All right.
帮个忙 我是马克还是约翰？ Help. Am I a Mark or a John?
你当马克不够高 Ehh, you're not tall enough to be a Mark.
你或许可以当个好巴尼 But you might make a good Barney.
我是认真的 All right, look, I am serious.
明天3点半我就要上法院 Tomorrow at 3:30, I'm going to the courthouse.
你真的要改名？ You're actually going through with this?
这个名字拖累了我一辈子 Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life.
害我被其他小朋友找茬 女人运很差 Okay, it's probably why kids picked on me and why I never do well with women.
明天4点起我不是马克·约翰森 就是约翰·马克森 So as of 4:00 tomorrow, I'm either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
你的问题在于你 与名字无关 You've got problems because of you, not your name.
别再闹了 钱德这个名字很棒 This has got to stop. Chandler is a great name.
事实上… In fact...
好 Yes.
对不起 我知道你希望宝宝叫乔伊 I'm sorry, I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey.
但我要… 我要让他叫钱德 But... So I'm gonna name the baby Chandler.
真的？ Really?
对 但你也得保留这个名字 Yeah, but you have to keep the name too.
- 好 谢啦 - 好 - Okay, thanks. - Okay.
- 要不要抱下？ - 好 - You want to hug it out? - Yeah.
我现在就去告诉法兰克他们 Okay, I'm gonna go tell Frank and Alice right now.
- 菲比再见 - 再见 - Bye, Pheebs. - Okay, bye.
004班机已到达17号门 Flight 004 is now arriving at Gate 17.
很棒的行李箱 我正要说 - Nice luggage. - I was going to say.
- 我好想你 - 我也是 - I missed you. - Oh, I missed you too.
谢谢你 我玩得很开心 Thanks for everything, I had a great time.
我也是 Oh, so did I.
不是舌吻 No tongue.