我居然在修指甲 I'm can't believe I'm getting my nails done.
你说会很好玩 And you said it was gonna be fun.
是有点好玩 Which it kind of is.
你说会有别的男人 哪有啊？ You said there were gonna be other guys. There are no other guys.
- 那边就有个 - 那是快递 - Chandler, there's a guy right over there. - That's a mailman.
他也跑我们公司 That's our mailman.
你好啊 Hi, how are you?
放心 这样无损于你的男子气概 Chandler, don't worry. This doesn't make you any less of a guy.
那样会 That does.
我坐到什么？ What am I sitting on?
这个女人不知道在搔哪里 Heh. I'd hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
- 你知道谁也戴那种指甲吗？ - 不知道 - Know who used to have nails like that? - No.
我… 的… 天哪 Oh, my God.
乔伊 问你一个问题 我快抓狂了 Joey, let me ask you a question. This has been driving me crazy.
- 这个开关是干嘛用的？ - 没用 - What does this light switch do? - Oh, nothing.
你不知道不会抓狂吗？ Didn't it drive you crazy to not know what it did?
我知道啊 它没用 I know what it did. Nothing.
它存在就一定有功用 They wouldn't have put it there if it didn't do something.
- 你怎么能不在意？ - 就像这样 - How can you not care? - Like this:
还有一个问题 Well, here's another question for you.
你知道马桶上的把手的功用吗？ Do you know what that little silver knob on the toilet does?
- 当然知道 冲水 - 很好 - Sure. It flushes it. - Okay, good.
既然你知道 来的时候请你冲一下好吗？ Now, since you know, when you come over, would you mind actually using it?
- 哈罗 - 嘿 - Hello. - Hey. Aah!
- 我的天啊 - 猜我们今天遇见谁 - Oh, my God. Wow. - Guess who we ran into today?
- 珍妮丝 - 很棒吧？ - Janice. - Is this amazing?
- 你好吗？ - 我离婚了 - How have you been? - Well, um, I'm divorced.
- 哇喔 - 真的吗？ - Wow. - Really?
正在靠赡养费过活 Yeah, I'm riding the alimony pony.
出现了 And there it is.
我只是来打声招呼 大家好 I just came up to say hi. Hi.
- 亲爱的 我们待会见 - 好 - You, sweetie, I'll see you later. - Okay.
晚上见 好 Mwah. I'll see you tonight.
- 再见 再见… - 再见 - Bye. Bye. - Bye. Bye.
- 再见… - 再见… - Bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye. - Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh.
我受不了那个女人 I can't stand the woman.
什么？我以为你爱死她了 What? I thought you were crazy about her.
我知道 但是以前她那些很烦的特点 You know all those little annoying things she did before we fell in love?
她的声音 笑声和个性… You know, like her voice and her laugh and her personality?
全都回来了 Well, they're all back, you know.
而且还多了起码九种新的 And she's picked up like nine new ones.
那你干嘛带她来？虐待人嘛 So, what are you doing bringing her here? There's people here.
放心 我今晚会搞定 Don't worry about it. I'm taking care of it tonight.
会才怪 你一直跟她纠缠不清 You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
这次我不必跟她分手 Well, I don't have to break up with her.
我们又没在一起 我会先发制人 We're not involved. I'm gonna do a preemptive strike.
我会在开始前就结束掉 I'm gonna end it with her before it starts.
我的屁股好冰 My ass is, like, frozen.
塞进冷冻库二十分钟试试看 Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes.
不要不信 I'm telling you.
你居然敢晚上自己走在路上 I can't believe you really walk alone here at night.
纽约的传闻好多 I mean, you hear such stories about New York.
没那么严重 No, it's really not that bad.
我就觉得很安全 I mean, I, for one, feel perfectly safe.
救命啊 救命啊 Help! Help! Help!
罗斯 没事 他们是我在英国的朋友 No, no, no, Ross. Ross, these are friends of mine from home.
- 连恩 戴文 这是罗斯 - 噢 耶 - Liam, Devon, this is Ross. - Oh. Heh.
- 老兄 你们好 - 嗨 - Hi, mate. - Hey.
- 你还好吧？ - 哈哈 - How are you, man? - Ha, ha.
我装得不错吧？"救命啊 救命啊" That was a good one, huh? I was like, "Help! Help!"
你们好吗？ So how are you?
我从一来就想找你们 I've been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived...
但是我挺忙的 ...but, um, well, I've been rather busy.
我们从UZ演唱会之后 就没见过 You realize we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
- 啊 - 天哪 没错 - Ah. - Oh, my God, I think you're right.
应该说是演唱会第二天早上 Well, actually, the last time you and I saw each other was the next morning.
噢 利亚姆 Ha, ha. Oh, Liam.
噢 利亚姆 Heh. Oh, Liam.
你们在踢足球吗？ So, what, were you guys playing soccer or something?
还是要说 Or should I call it...
"踢"足球？ ..."football"? Uh...
我们在打橄榄球 We were playing rugby.
明天就有球赛 欢迎你参加 In fact, we're playing a game tomorrow. You're welcome to play too.
罗斯打橄榄球？不要吧 Ha, ha. Ross play rugby? I don't think so.
怎么？ Heh. What?
有什么可笑的？ What's so funny about that?
你是美国人 Well, I mean, you're American, to start with.
美国没有橄榄球 You don't really have rugby here.
我们也是到了1776年才自由独立 Heh. Well, we didn't have freedom here until 1776 either, so...
那好 明天2点公园见 So good, then. We'll see you at Riverside Park at 2.
- 干杯 - 干杯 - Cheers. - Cheers.
天哪 我最喜欢唱歌了 Oh, boy. I just love to sing.
我知道你喜欢 Yes, I know that you do.
其他人之所以抱怨 One of the reasons people were complaining...
是因为他们是花钱听演员唱 ...was because most of the people had paid to hear the actor sing "Old Man River."
你看看我们 Oh, look at us.
想不到在美容院也有爱神驻扎 Who would've thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails?
我们得谈一谈 Okay, we have to talk.
我刚结束一段很认真的恋情 I'm just getting out of a very serious relationship.
我知道 而我刚结束一段婚姻 I know. And I'm just getting out of a marriage.
这就叫做三生注定 I mean, talk about meant to be.
对 但我觉得进展太快了 Right. But I just think this is happening too soon.
什么太快 是太慢 Oh, too soon, too schmoon.
认命吧 这次我不会放过你的 Face it, honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
- 我听见了 - 哈哈 - I hear you. - Ha, ha.
但是 很不幸的 我公司… But unfortunately, my company...
要把我调到海外 ...is transferring me overseas.
不会吧 Oh, no.
调去哪里？ Where to?
- 巴黎？ - 不 不是巴黎 - To Paris? - No. No, not Paris.
伦敦？罗马？维也纳？巴塞隆纳？ To London? Oh. No, Rome? Vienna? Ooh, ooh. Barcelona?
你先别讲话 好吗？ Okay, could you just stop talking for a second?
叶门 Yemen.
对 没错 我要被调去叶门 That's right. Yes. I'm being transferred to Yemen.
- 什么时候？ - 我不太清楚 - When? - I don't know exactly.
那我只好细细品尝 钱德宾的一切 Well, I will just have to soak up every ounce of Chandler Bing...
直到那一刻来临 ...until that moment comes.
但我知道是明天某时 But I do know it's sometime tomorrow.
- 好了？ - 对 - Done? - Yep.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
干什么？ What's up?
这个开关快把我逼疯了 This switch thing has been driving me crazy.
所以我把它关掉 检查每个插座 So I turned it off and checked every outlet.
有四个不能用 表示其中一个由它控制 Now, four don't work, which means one of them has to be controlled by the switch.
所以我插上会发出声音的东西 So I plugged in things in all four outlets that make noise.
到时候一打开 That way, when I turn it on, I just follow the noise...
顺着声音去找就行了 ...and find out which one it is.
我一定会第一个放弃 I bet I stopped listening before you did.
你可以插电灯 You know, you also could have used lamps...
然后找灯光 ...and then followed the light.
我要找声音 好吗？ Yeah, well, I'm using noise. Okay?
准备好了吗？ All right, so everybody ready?
开罗 Here we go.
有声音 我听到了 在哪里？ There's something. I hear something. Where is it?
是乔伊发出来的 It's coming from Joey.
天哪 好诡异喔 把他关掉 Oh, my God. That's so freaky. Turn him off.
在中央球场争球 With the set scrum in center field.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Oh, hey. - Hi.
可以看新闻吗？可能在下雨 Could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
等一下 我在看体育频道的橄榄球赛 No, just hold on a sec. I'm watching this rugby thing on ESPN.
有什么大不了的 我也能打 I don't know what the big deal is. I'm man enough to play this sport.
你家连运动台都没有 Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
嗨 罗斯 Hey there, Ross.
嘿 Hey.
是珍妮丝 Janice.
你真的不必帮我打包 You know, uh, you really didn't have to help me pack.
你说你出发之前… Oh. When you said all you were gonna be doing...
都要打包 ...between now and the time you leave is packing...
我还有什么选择？ ...you really didn't leave me much choice.
我以为有 看来是没有 Well, I thought I did, but I guess I did not.
- 怎么回事？ - 我要打包 - Hey. What's going on? - Oh, I'm packing.
因为我明天要搬去叶门 You know, I'm packing because I'm moving to Yemen tomorrow.
谢谢你告诉我啊 Thanks for telling me.
我是假装要搬去叶门好摆脱她 I'm only pretend-moving to Yemen, okay? It's the only way I can get rid of her.
漂亮 Oh. Good one.
也门 听起来还真像个国家 And Yemen. That actually sounds like a real country.
钱德 快来 Hey, Chandler, come on.
我教你怎么把内衣裤塞进鞋子 I'm gonna show you how to roll your underwear and stuff it in your shoes.
- 可以省空问 - 我那样做是想垫高 - It's a real space-saver. - I do that because it makes me look taller.
钱德 来啊 Hey, Chandler. Come on.
好的 Okay.
- 乔伊 跟我交换人生 - 不要 - Joey, trade lives with me. - Nope.
天哪 你看看 罗斯 你居然说你要打 Man, look at this. Ross, I can't believe you said you'd play.
- 这种运动好野蛮 - 我可以应付 - Look how brutal this is. - Hey, I can handle it, all right?
拜托 Oh, please, Ross.
你连跟我爸打羽毛球都会受伤 You got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
那是因为你妈的狗一直看我 That's because your mom's dog kept looking at me.
好 你看 这个叫斗牛阵 Okay, Ross, look, look, look. Right here, it's called a "scrum," okay?
- 就像聚商 - 那商斗就像聚牛阵吗？ - It's kind of like a huddle. - And is a hum kind of like a scruddle?
罗斯 他们会宰了你 Ross, they're gonna kill you.
你为什么要打？ Why are you doing this, anyway?
你们应该看看她以前交往的人 Well, you should've seen the guy that she used to go out with.
他活像颗大橄榄球 I mean, he's like Joe Rugby.
不会吧 而他又打橄榄球？好好玩 You're kidding. And he plays rugby? That's so funny.
我懂你的意思了 Oh, I see. You did that. All right.
总之她觉得我打橄榄球很好笑 Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was, like, hilarious.
所以我要证明我有多猛 So I'm gonna show her how tough I really am.
对不起 你说得对 你是很猛 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right. You are a tough guy.
你是我认识最猛的古生物学家 You're the toughest paleontologist I know.
没问题啦 罗斯会照顾自己 All right, come on.
他又不是钱德 Look, Ross can take care of himself. It's not like he's Chandler.
谢了 Thanks.
别替我担心 Look, don't worry about me.
我会装得很有冲劲 跟球保持距离 I'll just look real energetic and stay away from the ball.
我会学那个人站在外面 I'll be that guy, right outside the circle.
- 噢 - 噢 - Ooh. - Oh!
天啊 Oh, jeez.
也许有狗在看他 Oh. Well, maybe there was a dog looking at him.
罗斯… Okay, Ross, Ross, Ross.
别靠近那个人 那个人 和那个人 You're gonna wanna stay away from that guy and that guy and that one.
他们都好壮 Dude, they're all huge.
又没比我壮 They don't look any bigger than me.
你离你比较近 That's because you're closer to you.
所以看你自己比较壮 So you look bigger to you from where you are.
我去跟他们打个招呼 I'm just gonna go and say hello to the lads.
- 好 - 好 - All right. - Okay.
嗨 Hi.
噢 Oh.
还蛮可爱的 I kind of liked it.
我知道了 我要变成赤面罗斯 Okay, I know what I've gotta do. I've gotta go Red Ross.
赤面罗斯啊 You know, Red Ross?
完全给他不知道 Totally don't know what you're talking about.
那次我们去看《与狼共舞》 That time that we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves...
有人插队 我不是就抓狂了？ ...and that one guy cut in front of us, and I just lost it?
破口大骂 脸都涨红了 Huh? Screamed at him, turned all red.
赤面罗斯啊 Red Ross!
不知道 No.
等着瞧 You'll see.
连 恩 帮个忙 Liam, do me a favor.
对罗斯手下留情 他是第一次打 Tell the lads to go easy on Ross. It's his first time.
是吗？ You don't say?
- 谢了 - 好 - Thanks. - Okay.
加油 Good luck, babe.
老弟 快进来 Ross. Ross, come on, get in here.
快点 Ross, come on.
罗斯 Ross.
快进来争球 Ross, come on, get in the bloody scrum.
罗斯 进去 Ross, get in.
乔伊 Joey!
说了你一定不信 约书亚今天来 你猜怎样？ Oh. You are not gonna believe it. Joshua came in today, and guess what.
- 他约你？ - 没有 - He asked you out? - No.
不过我给他看一些袖扣 结果模到他的脉搏 But I was showing him some cuff links, and I felt his pulse.
乱死了 Saucy.
- 这是什么？ - 这栋楼的电路图 - What are these? - Oh. Electrical plans for the building.
我应该要害怕吗？ Okay, okay, okay, should I be scared?
那个开关一定有作用 这是去市政府调的 I know that switch has gotta do something. So I went to City Hall and I got these.
只花了二十五元 排了三小时 All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
可惜大家不知道 Wow. If only more people knew.
你实在不必送我来机场 You know, you really didn't have to take me to the airport.
拜托 每分每秒都很珍贵 Oh, please. Every moment is precious.
况且总得有人帮你提行李 Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with your luggage.
你朋友好像都不关心你要走了 And your friends don't seem to care very much that you're leaving.
我们其实没那么要好 Well, we're not really that close.
好 那就再见了 Okay. So I guess this is, uh, you know, goodbye, then.
不… Oh, no, no.
还没呢 你上了飞机我才要走 It's not goodbye. I'm not leaving until you get on that plane.
好 那就请你"在此等候" Okay, well, I guess it's just "wait here," then.
我要一张去也门的假机票 Hi. I need a fake ticket to Yemen.
- 一张去也门的机票？ - 不是 - One ticket to Yemen? - Oh, no, no, no.
我只需要一张假机票 I just need a pretend ticket.
抱歉 我不懂 I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand.
好 你会拿什么给小朋友玩？ What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
您有带小孩子？ Are you traveling with a child?
没有 No.
她会以为我在拿信用卡给你 Oh. She's gonna think that I'm handing you a credit card.
其实我拿的是借书证 But what I'm really gonna do is hand you a library card.
去也门的机票是2100元 我们不收借书证 Uh, sir, a ticket to Yemen is $2100, and we don't take library cards.
怎么了？有什么问题吗？ What's the matter? Is something wrong?
你得留下来吗？ Do you have to stay?
美国运通卡？ American Express?
罗斯 Ross!
他们怎么这样？我明明叫他们手下留情 I can't believe they're doing that to him. I told them to go easy on him.
我没有恶意 但有时… No offense, but sometimes it's hard to understand you...
你的口音很难懂 ...you know, with the accent, so...
- 才上半场结束 还有下半场 - 噢 - That's just halftime. There's more of this. - Oh.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
嗨 Hey.
你们看到了吗？我挺强的 好过瘾的球赛 Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game.
- 是啊 - 帮个忙 去帮我拿水 - Right. - Do me a favor? Grab me a bottle of water?
好 谢了 - Yeah. - Thanks.
- 我觉得我快死了 真的 - 真可怜 - I think I'm dying. I really do. - Oh, poor baby.
告诉我儿子我爱他 Tell my son that I love him.
太好了 我还要再打个过瘾 Oh, excellent. Okay, gotta have some more fun.
罗斯 你快被整死了 Ross, they are killing you out there.
- 乱讲 - 她说得对 你不能再打了 - That's not true. - She's right. You have to stop.
不行 我是赤面罗斯 What? No. No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross.
你再上场会变成死面罗斯 Dude, you go back out there, you're gonna be Dead Ross.
我绝不退场 我要打完 I don't care. I am not quitting. I am gonna finish this game.
好 如果你一定要打 至少让我帮忙 All right. If you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
不行 这不是女人玩的 那些人什么都捉 God, no. That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
我不是要上场 That's not what I was saying.
我只是知道怎样让别人受伤 I just might know a few things that could help you inflict some pain.
- 我喜欢 - 是吗？听好 - I like that. - Yeah? Listen closely.
- 戴文的脚踝很弱 - 呃？ - Devon has got a weak ankle. - Huh?
踢一下就会倒 One swift kick and he'll back off.
好 脚踝虚 了解 All right, bad ankle. Got it.
- 那个留落腮胡的大个子 - 呃 - And that big bloke with the beard? - Uh-huh.
- 臀部毛病很多 - 臀部毛病很多 - He's got a trick hip. - Ha, ha.
对 那边的大卫没穿护档 Yeah. And David over there, I heard that he doesn't wear a cup.
真的吗？蛮有用的 臀部不好 没穿护档 好 Real...? I could use that. Trick hip, no cup. Okay, okay.
连恩的膝盖不好 And Liam. Liam's got bad knees.
看准了一撞就倒 You hit him right and he'll go down like a lamp.
但是连恩跟我同队 But Liam's on my team.
- 我不管 你去宰了他 - 好 宰了他 - I don't care. You just get him. - Go get him.
我要回场上了 Okay. I am going back in.
赤面罗斯 Red Ross. Yeah.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
这些是什么？ What are these?
我画了一些画挂起来 Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up.
好让客厅看起来更漂亮 有用吧？ I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do, don't you think?
-啊 - 别撕 - Aah! - No, no, don't, don't.
噢 Oh!
那里没有洞 我只是很喜欢那幅画 I know that there's no hole there. I just really like that picture.
天哪 你看看 Oh, my God. Look at this.
但是那边有电线 一定连到某个地方 But there is a wire back there. That switch is connected to something.
我不管 你才是脑筋脱线了 I don't care. The wires have come loose in your head.
顺着电线就能找出它的功用 I thought if I could follow the wire, I could find out what it did.
- 那你找到了吗？ - 没有 - And did you? - No.
到了地板上就断了 It disappears back behind that baseboard.
我还以为跑到楼下去了 For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs.
结果没有 But it didn't.
- 跟楼下邻居打声招呼吧 - 天啊 - Say hello to Mrs. Catrokis. - Oh, my God.
- 你好 亲爱的 - 你好啊 - Hello, darling. - Hello, Mrs. Catrokis.
你确定不去看医生吗？ Are you sure you don't wanna go see a doctor?
不用了 这只会让我沮丧而已 Oh, no, that'll just bring me down.
太棒了 我很厉害 今天太棒了 This was great. I mean, I was great. This was a great day.
我请大家喝咖徘 You know what? I'm buying everyone coffee.
帮我拿皮夹 在我的口袋里 Someone just grab my wallet. It's in my pocket.
- 好 - 不是你 - Yeah, sure. - No, not you.
好 Okay.
你的眼睛还是突的 我去拿冰块 Look, your eye's still popping out a little. I'm gonna go get some ice.
- 好 - 冰块 我正想吃冰块 - Okay. - Ooh, ice, yeah. I'm so in the mood for ice.
- 你刚才好神勇 - 噢 - You were amazing out there. - Oh.
- 真的 对吧？ - 天啊 - I kind of was, wasn't I? - Oh, my God.
我让一个壮我两倍的人哭了 I made a man twice my size cry.
上一次是四岁 我用石头洗我爸的保时捷 I mean, I haven't done that since I was 4 and I washed my dad's Porsche with rocks.
你真的打得很过瘾 对不对？ You really enjoyed yourself, didn't you?
开玩笑 我干掉三个大块头 Please, are you kidding? I hurt three huge men.
还让一个人流鼻血 I gave a guy a bloody nose.
这没什么好得意的 不过… I mean, I'm not proud of it...
我真的好得意 ...but I really am.
都是因为你 And it's all because of you.
- 最棒最棒的你 - 我看你是脑震荡了 - Yeah. Wonderful, amazing you. - I think you've got a concussion.
不 我是说真的 谢谢你 No, no, I'm serious. Thank you.
不客气 You're welcome.
- 对不起 会痛吗？ - 痛也值得 - I'm sorry. Did that hurt you? - It's worth the pain.
其实不值得 You know what? You know what? It's not.
最后一次呼叫前往也门的旅客 This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
看来我该走了 Well, I guess I gotta go.
我的冰淇淋 Oh. My Bing-a-ling.
我会等你的 I'll wait for you.
你要去多久？ Do you even know how long you're gonna be gone?
直到找出可以替代石油的能源 Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.
我会每天写信给你 Oh. Well, I'll write you every day.
也门也门路15号 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
好 再见 Okay. Goodbye.
再见 Goodbye.
- 钱德？ - 不是我 - Chandler? - No.
钱德 Chandler.
珍妮丝 你在这里 我得跟你做最后吻别 Janice. There you are. There you are. I had to have one last kiss.
另外你也说 我一上机你就要走 And also, also, you said you were gonna leave right after I got on the plane.
不 我想看着你起飞 No. No. I wanna see you take off.
那我要去也门罗 Well, then I guess I'm going to Yemen.
我要去也门了 I'm going to Yemen.
到了也门 我可以住你家吗？ When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
好 管理员不知道它的作用 All right. The super couldn't figure out what it did.
一小时两百块的电工 不晓得它的作用 The $200-an-hour electrician couldn't figure out what it did.
我被狠狠电到七次 I've had seven pretty serious shocks.
- 我放弃了 - 谢天谢地 - I officially give up. - Thank God.
看来乔伊说得对 I guess Joey was right.
它没有用 It does nothing.
你看 See?
是我弄的 真的是我弄的 I'm doing it. I am totally doing it.
超能力没了 I lost it.