天啊 不敢相信我小弟结婚了 I can't believe my little brother's married!
你们决定和订终身 怎么没跟我说？ Why didn't you tell me you were eloping?
一切都发生得很自然 我们在法院吃中饭 Well, we were at court, eating lunch...
等等 你们干嘛去法院？ Why were you at court?
吃中饭啊 Lunch.
那时的感觉就像是… We were like...
既然都来法院吃中饭了 不如就顺便结婚吧 ...we're here, we're having lunch. Let's get married! Right?
一年前我还不知道自己有弟弟 现在又多了个妹妹 A year ago, I didn't know I had a brother. Now I have a sister!
真是太棒了 Oh, it's so great.
好了 Okay.
够了 别再亲了 Stop it! Don't!
我得送你们新婚礼物才行 I'll get you a gift now.
你们有需要什么吗？ Is there anything you need?
有啊 Uh, yeah.
我们订婚后就一直想怀孕 心想越早生越好 We've been trying to get pregnant. Thought we'd get a jump on things.
总是年轻不再了嘛 No one's getting any younger. Ha-ha-ha.
不过重点是我们没办法… 成功做人 Because the thing is, um, we're not able to, you know, uh, conceive.
我们试过所有方法 看了一堆医生 We've seen a bunch of doctors.
对 他们说我们若想生小孩 They say that our only chance to have a baby...
唯有把我的精子和她的卵子 放进培养皿里头 ...is that if they take my sperm, her egg, put it together in a dish...
再放进另一个女孩的子宫里 ...and put it into another girl.
不知道你愿不愿意 让我们把受精卵放进去？ We were wondering if you could be that girl.
这真是个很棒的礼物 That's a really nice gift.
我还以为 你们会想要个医料皿呢 I was thinking of a gravy boat.
大伙照过来 猜我得到了什么工作？ Check it out! Guess what job I just got.
不知道 但是唐纳川普 想把他的蓝色外套黑回去 I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.
什么？ What?
把蓝色外套要回去 是要回去 Blue blazer back. He wants it back.
你刚才是说"黑" 他把蓝外套黑回去干嘛？ You said "black." Why would he want his blue blazer black?
你知道我的意思 Well, you know what I meant.
是你说错了 You messed it up.
你真蠢 You're stupid.
乔伊 你是得到什么工作？ So what job'd you get?
在博物馆当导览员 罗斯帮我争取到的 Tour guide at the museum. Ross got it for me.
在博物馆当导览员 不是得要恐龙专家才行？ Don't you have to be a dinosaur expert?
不尽然 他们会把资料都给你 They give you all the information.
就跟背剧本一样 It's like memorizing a script.
左方是侏罗纪的暴龙 On your left, tyrannosaurus rex, from the Jurassic Period.
不赖嘛 Very nice.
其实暴龙是白垩纪的恐龙 Yeah, actually, Joey, it's the Cretaceous Period.
是 但我念得出侏罗纪 But I can pronounce Jurassic.
嘿 Hey!
你们猜怎么着？法兰克和艾莉丝结婚了 Frank Jr. And Alice got married!
天啊 Oh, my God!
而且他们就要生小孩了 They're having a baby!
而且他们还要用我的子宫来生 They want me to grow it for them in my uterus!
- 天啊 - 你是认真的吗？ - My God! - Are you serious?
是啊 Yeah.
你在考虑和自己的弟弟上床？ You're thinking of having sex with your brother?
喔 才不是 Ew! And, oh, no!
他们只是要找我当代理孕母 They want me to be the surrogate.
用他们的精子和卵子 我只负责当炉子烤面包 It's her egg and his sperm. I'm the oven. It's their bun.
那你答应了没？ What did you say?
他们说要先让我考虑一下 但是有啥好考虑的？ I had to think about it, but what is there to think of?
这是我能送出最重的厚礼 I'll be giving someone the greatest gift.
你帮他们生小孩 还加赠索尼PS游戏机？ You'll carry their child, and get them a Sony PlayStation?
这对他们一定是意义重大 This is an incredible thing to do.
但是你得考虑到一些事 But there are things to think about.
对啊 你会怀孕 怀孕耶 Yeah, you'd be pregnant. I mean pregnant.
我知道啊 I know.
这对身体可是沉重负担 You'll put your body through an awful lot.
会害喜 还有分娩 I mean, morning sickness, uh, labor.
还全都是为了别人 It's all for somebody else.
是啊 你的重点是什么？ Yeah. What's your point?
我刚才说的就是啊 Well, the stuff I just mentioned.
这种事我一定做不到 I couldn't do that.
我心想自己第一次怀孕 一定会是跟心爱的人 I figure, the first time I had a baby, it'd be with someone I love.
孩子出生之后… And that baby was, you know...
一定要留在自己身边 ...a keeper.
我当时要用牛仔布做家具时 你们都还比较支持 You were more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
如果你决定要这么做 我们一定支持得五体投地 If you decide to do this, we'll be supportive like crazy.
我们只是要你考虑清楚 Just think it through.
或许和生过小孩的人讨论一下 好比你母亲 Talk to somebody who's had a baby. Like your mom.
我妈才没生过小孩呢 不过我的生母有 My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did!
我喜欢你的小屁屁 可以让我带去上班吗？ I love this tushy! Can I take it to work with me?
没问题 反正不是我的 是买裤子附赠的 Yeah, sure. It's not mine anyway. It came with the pants.
我嫉妒死了 I am so jealous.
你们俩真的好投入 You guys are just right there.
是啊 Yes.
投入什么？ Right where?
刚开始的热恋啊 上床 聊天… The beginning, where it's all sex and talking...
再上床 再聊天 ...and sex and talking.
聊天的部分很棒 You got to love the talking.
那上床呢？ And the sex?
我们还没上过床 We haven't had sex.
有啥好大惊小怪的？这样才特别啊 What's the big deal? This is special.
在进入下一个阶段前 我要让爱情先滋长 I want our love to grow before moving to the next level.
钱德 这真的太棒了 Oh, Chandler, that is so nice.
真的是很棒 That is really nice...
骗人 ...lying!
- 不可能会是那个原因 - 为什么？ - No way is that the reason. - Why?
因为你太幼雅 无法了解那种事？ You're not mature enough to understand that!
不 罗斯说的对 我是在骗人 He's right. I'm totally lying.
那真相是什么？ Then what is it?
因为凯艺前任男友是乔伊 Kathy's last boyfriend was Joey.
你担心自己… 技不如人？ And you're afraid you won't be able to fill his shoes?
不 我担心自己床上功夫没他行 I'm afraid I won't make love as well as him.
我是想要用比喻的 I was going for the metaphor.
对 我是直接说出来 I was saying the actual words.
没事啦 乔伊交过一卡车女友 这也不表示他床功一流 He's had girlfriends. It doesn't mean he's great in bed.
我和他的卧房只隔了一道墙 We share a wall.
若非他真的很强 就是他女友喜欢附和他 Either he's great, or she liked to agree with him a lot.
你们的情况不一样 有爱做基础的性会更棒 It'll be different. The sex will be great because you are in love.
- 是吗？ - 是啊 - Yeah? - Yeah.
钱德 放手一试吧 Just go for it.
对 试试看就知道了 Yeah, you should.
好吧 我去跟女友一起睡 All right. I'll sleep with my girlfriend.
但我这全是为了你们 But I'm just doing it for you guys.
乳齿象来自侏罗纪半晚期 Now, the mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic Period.
乳齿象不是上新世的吗？ Isn't the mastodon from the Pliocene Epoch?
嘘… Shh.
这里是博物馆 不能说话 This is a museum. No talking.
这里的就是… Right down here we have...
大脚 ...a large foot.
这位是罗斯盖勒 And over here we have Ross Geller.
大家挥手和罗斯打招呼 Everyone wave "hi" to Ross.
罗斯是馆内头号重要的科学家 你们看他工作有多努力 Ross is one of our scientists. Look at him hard at work.
好 继续参观 Okay, moving right along.
走吧 Come on.
门没关 请进 It's open. Come in.
- 抱歉迟到了 - 没关系 - I'm sorry I'm late. - That's okay.
我正好有时间替乳头上釉 I had time to finish glazing my nipples.
你为了见客还真是拼命 You go all out when you're expecting company.
我说的是陶器 I was working on my pottery.
噢 噢 Oh! Oh!
我不知道你会做锅子 Oh! I didn't know that you did pot.
对 大多没穿衣服 结合陶艺和色情这两种爱好 Mostly nudes. It combines my two passions: Pottery and erotica.
就叫做"陶情"吧 Erottery!
不错 Hey! Okay!
谢谢你来看我 Thanks for coming out to see me.
我只是觉得生小孩这件事 还是当面聊比较好 I thought it'd be a good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person.
菲比 我觉得这样不妥 I don't think it's a good idea.
为什么？ Why not?
因为你最后得要送走孩子 You'd be giving up a baby.
我不知道… And I really don't...
不知道要怎么说你才会懂 I don't know if anything I say...
送走孩子会有多么痛苦 ...would make you understand the pain of giving up a baby.
所以… So...
不… 我了解那种痛苦 不要伤害小狗 No, no, I understand the pain. Don't hurt the puppy!
不是啦… 这小狗是你的了 No, no. The puppy is yours.
我有小狗？ I get a puppy?
对 但只能拥有三天 But for only three days.
为什么？ Why?
我知道我现在没有权力 突然搬出妈妈的脸孔跟你说教 I realize I don't have any right to start getting parenty on you now.
菲比 麻烦别看小狗 看着我 我要说重要的事 Look at me and not the puppy. It's very important.
我知道我在说什么 I know what I'm talking about.
我送走过两个孩子 I gave up two babies.
只希望当时能有前辈告诉我 I only wish I had someone who'd given up babies that told me...
送走自己的小孩会有多痛苦 ...how terrible it is.
我只是觉得送走孩子后 你会每天后悔直到死掉 It'd be something you'd regret every day for the rest of your life.
你到时送走这条小狗的痛苦 So however hard it is for you to give up this puppy...
还不及送走孩子的百万分之一 ...it'd be a million times harder to give up a child.
早知道就不先把小狗给你 I shouldn't have given you the puppy first.
你能不能坐对面？我帮朋友罗斯留了位置 Could you sit there? I'm saving this seat for my friend Ross.
你是说盖勒博士？ You mean Dr. Geller?
博士？我不知道他有这绰号 Doctor? I didn't know he had a nickname.
他才不会坐这里呢 Oh, he won't sit here.
穿白袍的都会坐在那里 Only people in white coats sit there.
穿蓝色外套的只能坐这里 Only people in blue blazers sit here.
为什么这样？ How come?
就是这样 That's how it is.
岂有此理 That's crazy.
或许在不分蓝白的完美世界里 这样就会是岂有此理 It's crazy in a perfect world: A world without lab coats and blazers.
但你不是活在完美世界 而且这里是博物馆 But you not in a perfect world. You in a museum now.
看到那戴眼镜的科学家没？ See that scientist?
想当年我们念小学还是玩伴 但现在呢？ He and I used to play together in grade school, but now...
彼德… Peter! Hey, Peter!
我是朗姐 我们是同届的啊 It's me, Rhonda from P.S. 129?
亏我把布丁分你吃过 I shared my pudding with you, man!
我还把点心棒送给你吃 I gave you my snack pack!
看到没？他假装通通没听到 See? He pretend he don't even hear me!
我想大家都在假装没听到 Everyone's pretending they don't hear you.
我是不知道什么制服 还有你们分桌吃饭的事啦 I don't know about your jackets and separate tables...
不过罗斯是我的死党 ...but Ross is my friend.
若我帮他留了位置 我告诉你 他一定会坐 And if I save him a seat, he will sit in it.
罗斯… Ross. Ross.
来这里坐 我帮你留了位置 Here! I saved you a seat!
我坐这里就好了 之后再去找你聊 I'm cool here. I'll catch up with you later.
这个位置有人坐了 This is saved.
她是礼品店的 Gift shop.
今天在自助餐厅的事很抱歉 I'm sorry about what happened today.
没什么 该怎么做就怎么做 You do what you got to do.
不只是我而已 科学家和导览员从来不坐一起 The scientists and the tour guides never sit together.
这种情况到处都有 摩妮卡 帮我说说话啊 It's like that everywhere. Mon, back me up.
在你工作的地方 侍者和侍者一起吃饭 Where you work, the waiters eat with the waiters.
厨师和厨师吃饭 对吧？ And the chefs eat with the other chefs?
我是自己躲在巷子里吃 因为大家都恨我 I eat by myself in the alley, because everybody hates me.
罗斯 你听我说 Look, Ross.
这没哈大不了的啦 It's no big deal.
你穿白袍 我穿蓝色外套 You wear a white coat. I wear a blue blazer.
若这表示我们上班不能当朋友 那就这样吧 If that means we can't be friends at work, so be it.
我能了解 I understand, you know?
我演舞台剧 你坐观众席 我也不会跟你说话 是吧？ When I'm in a play and you're in the audience, I don't talk to you.
所以没事了 So it's, you know, it's, uh, cool.
明天见 I'll see you tomorrow.
我们坐在观众席 他是没说话 但有跟我们招手 When we're in the audience, he does wave.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hey.
菲比干嘛唱歌给卡尔马登听？ Why's Phoebe singing to Karl Malden?
小狗又应该出去了 I think it's time for puppy to go out again.
走 我们去阳台 - Come on, let's go to the balcony. - What?
- 什么？ - 去街上 走 我们去街上 The street. Come on, let's go to the street.
在我回来之前 别去阳台 Don't go on the balcony until after I get back.
你做了没？ So did you do it?
有… 我们上床了 Yes, yes, we had the sex.
糟糕 不好喔？ Uh-oh. It was bad?
好是好 但是她附和我的程度 不像附和乔伊那样强烈 It was fine, but she didn't agree with me as strongly as with Joey.
感觉像是"我了解 无所谓" She was like, uh, "I see your point. I'm all right with it."
第一次的互动总是比较生疏 There's not always a lot of agreement the first time.
对 女生要慢慢来 不像男生一趣就互动了 Yeah. Not for girls, anyway. Guys agree like that.
你们得帮帮我 Look, you have to help me.
我是说… I mean...
我知道怎么在床上取悦女人 我知道步骤 一直也都很好 I know what to do with a woman. It's always nice.
但我需要知道… I need to know...
要怎么从"好"进阶到… ...what makes it go from nice to...
"老天 那家伙让她欲仙欲死" ..."My God! Somebody's killing her in there!"
我来开释一个很多男人不知道的事 I'll show you something a lot of guys don't know.
好吧 All right.
来啰 Now.
你不用真的画出… 哇 她身材真惹火 You don't have to draw an actual... Whoa, she's hot!
大家都知道性感带在哪里 Everyone knows the erogenous zones.
有一 二 三 You got one, two, three...
四… ...four...
五 六 还有七 ...five, six and seven.
性感带有七个？ There are seven?
我看看 Let me see that.
对 没错 Oh, yeah.
那里也算一个？ That's one?
还蛮重要的呢 Kind of an important one.
反过来看会有误差嘛 I was looking at it upside down.
有时候反过来也不错 Well, you know sometimes that helps.
男人大多数爱抚过一 二 三 就直接跳到第七个 结束比赛 Most guys will hit one, two, three and then go to seven and set up camp.
那样不好吗？ That's bad?
你去迪士尼乐园 也不会整天只玩马特洪雪橇啊 At Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Matterhorn.
若那是第七个就有可能 You might if it were like seven.
重点是慢慢来 The important thing is to take your time.
七个性感带都要照顾到 You want to hit them all...
还要搭配混和使用 就像路脚那样维持紧绷 ...mix them up. Keep them on their toes.
脚趾 Oh, toes!
有些人的脚趾会兴奋嘛 For some people.
好吧 All right.
你可以先小小来个一 You could, uh, start out with a little one.
再来二 A two.
一 二 三搭配 A one, two, three.
一个三 A three.
一个五 A five.
一个四 A four.
来个三和二 A three, two.
二 再配个二 四 六 Two. A two, four, six.
二 四 六 Two, four, six.
四 二 Four. Two.
二 四和七 Two. Four, seven!
五配七 六配七 Five, seven! Six, seven!
七… Seven! Seven!
七… Seven, seven, seven!
七 Seven!
盖勒博士 这里有位置 Dr. Geller? There's a seat here.
菲利普斯博士 谢谢你 Thank you, Dr. Phillips.
但我的午餐… But I'm having my lunch...
要在这张桌子上吃 中间这一张 ...at this table. Here in the middle.
我的午餐… I'm eating...
就在这里和好友乔伊一起吃 ...right here with my good friend, Joey.
若他愿意跟我坐一起的话 If he'll sit with me.
盖勒博士 我跟你坐 I will sit with you, Dr. Geller.
你们知道吗… You know...
我们在自然史博物馆工作 ...we work in a museum of natural history.
然而却有一件事… And yet, there is something...
很不自然 ...unnatural...
我们吃中饭的方式很不自然 ...about the way we eat lunch.
我环顾这自助餐的四周 看到了什么？我看到隔阂 I look around, and you know what I see? I see division.
穿白袍的人和穿蓝外套的人 彼此有着隔阂 Division between people in white coats and people in blue blazers.
我扪心自问 "天啊 这是为什么？" I ask myself, "My God, why?"
我建议大家脱掉… Now, I say we shed these coats...
造成我们隔阂的这些外套 ...that separate us.
才能认识衣服里面的人 And we get to know the people underneath.
我是罗斯 I'm Ross!
我离过婚 有个小孩 I'm divorced and I have a kid!
我是乔伊 我是个演员 I'm Joey! I'm an actor!
我对恐龙一窍不通 I don't know squat about dinosaurs!
我是泰德 一个月前才搬来 纽约真是吓坏我了 I'm Ted, and I just moved here, and New York really scares me.
- 这就对了 - 秦德 你要撑住 - There you go! - Hang in there, Teddy!
我是安德鲁 I'm Andrew.
这颗梨我没付钱 And I didn't pay for this pear.
好 有你的 Okay. Good for you.
我是朗姐 这一对不是真的 I'm Rhonda! And these aren't real!
朗姐… Wow, Rhonda.
- 我是史考特 - 帮史考特加油 - I'm Scott. - Yeah, okay, Scott!
我在离开一个房间之前 一定要连续开灯关灯17次 I flip the light switch on and off 17 times when I leave a room...
不然我全家都会死光光 ...or my family will die.
我妈随时会来 My mom will be here soon.
我没办法 我不能送走他 I can't. I can't give him up.
不对 我可以 Yes, no. I can.
我不想 I don't want to.
但是我可以 But I can.
不行 No.
我再看下去一定会崩溃 这就像是《苏菲的选择》 I can't watch this. It's like Sophie's Choice.
我从没看过那部电影 You know, I never saw that.
其实很普通而已啦 Oh, it was only okay.
我办不到 I can't do this.
我妈妈说的对 若我连一条狗都拾不得 My mom was right. If I can't give him up...
怎么可能送走自己生的小孩 ...there's no way I can give up a baby.
法兰克和艾莉丝一定会很受伤 Frank and Alice are going to be so crushed.
我能给他什么别的？肾脏？ What else can I give them? A kidney!
我们正好在附近 We were in the neighborhood.
我们顺路过来是要让你知道 还是不要有压力 We want to let you know that there's still no pressure.
不会的 None.
但是如果你有事要跟我们说 我们就坐在那里喝咖啡 If there was something you wanted to say, we'll be right there.
好 Okay.
这个小家伙是谁？ Who's this little guy?
哦… Oh, um, well...
真可爱 让我想起我的老狗肿瘤 He's so cute! He reminds me of my old dog, Tumor.
瞧你可爱的 真想带你回家 You are so precious, I'd take you home.
有何不可呢？ Why don't you?
你是说真的？ Are you serious?
是啊 Uh-huh. Yeah.
多谢了 Thanks.
- 你在干嘛？ - 这样不会让我难过 - What are you doing? - I'm okay with this.
你们知道原因吗？看看他们 You know why? Because look at them.
看他们高兴成那样 Look how happy they are.
这是我的功劳 所以… And I made that, so you know...
我知道送走自己生出来的孩子 一定会难上百万倍… ...it'll be a million times harder to give up a baby. But God!
但到时的快乐 一定也会是百万倍 对吧？ It'll feel a million times better, right?
决定了 我要怀你们的孩子 I'll do this. I want to carry your baby.
噢 Oh!
真是太感谢了 Thank you so much!
这对我们意义非凡 You don't know what this means to us.
天啊 我都快哭了 I think I'm going to cry!
一定会很棒的 It's going to be so great.
嗨 Hi.
- 怎么回事？ - 我把小狗给了他们 - What's going on? - I gave them the puppy.
看他们高兴成那样 我决定帮他们怀小孩 It made them so happy, I decided to carry their baby.
- 菲比 - 你不用说 我知道 - Phoebe... - No, I know.
不过你我是完全不同的人 We're different, though.
而且情况也完全不同 This is a different situation.
我知道我这样做绝不会后悔 I am not going to regret this.
你说的我都了解 I understand all that.
只是… 那小狗是我的耶 It's just, that was my puppy.
噢 Oh!
你愿意帮别人当代理孕母吗？ Would you ever be a surrogate?
要看是谁要我帮忙 Depends who asked.
如果是我要你帮忙呢？ What if I asked?
摩妮卡 那我当然愿意啊 Oh, Mon, sure!
- 真的？- 是啊 - Really? - Yes.
- 你不是真要我帮忙吧？ - 不是 - You're not asking me, are you? - No.
我当然帮你 一定帮 Yes. Totally.
谢谢你… Thank you! Thank you!
谢谢你 Thank you!
太谢谢你了 Yes, thank you!