- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
抱歉迟到了 有错过什么精彩好戏吗？ Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?
乔伊在嘴里塞了15片饼干 Joey stuffing fifteen Oreos in his mouth.
15片？ Fifteen?
刷新个人纪录哦 Your personal best! Ha, ha.
你到哪儿去了？ Where were you?
约会 On a date.
我去逛博物馆 在火车上认识了一个女孩 I met this girl on a train going to a museum upstate.
- 哪间博物馆？ - 你是怎么认识她的？ - Which museum? - How'd you meet her?
回答他的问题比较好 No. Answer his.
我们坐在车厢最后面 We were at the back of the train.
我的座位靠门 她要换车的话得先经过我 I sat near the door so she'd have to pass by me...
她得任由我摆布 ...if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
你迟到是因为 在嘿她的尸体吗？ Were you so late because you were burying this woman?
我迟到是因为她住在波基普西 I'm late because she lives in Poughkeepsie.
她人很好 可惜住得太远 She seems great, but she's two and a half hours away.
她是波基普西人 怎么可能好到哪儿去？ How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie? Ha-ha-ha.
这个笑话在阿尔班尼 会搏得满堂彩 That joke would have killed in Albany.
成功 Done! I did it.
还觉得我是个傻蛋吗？ Who's stupid now?
看 今天是圣诞树的点灯之夜 Look! They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
那是两周前的报纸耶 Um, that paper is two weeks old.
是谁老是把旧报纸 丢在垃圾桶里的？ Who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?
人家好想带凯西去看 没想到居然错过了 I really wanted to take Kathy to this.
至少你还有伴 At least you have somebody to miss stuff with.
我讨厌过节时孤伶伶的 I hate being alone this time of year.
情人节 我的日生转眼就到 Next it's Valentine's Day...
然后… ...then my birthday, then bang!
他们又要点亮那株讨厌的圣诞树 Then they're lighting that damn tree again.
我想找个伴 I want somebody!
我想找个男人 You know, I want a man!
我不想谈轰轰烈烈的恋爱 来段露水姻缘就好了 It doesn't even have to be a big relationship. Just a fling!
没想到你也想要露水姻缘 I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling.
告诉你 我缺水缺得可久了 Let me tell you, it's been a long time since I've been flung.
那我知道圣诞节要送你什么了 I know what I'm giving you for Christmas.
我有几个同事挺不错的 要不要帮你介绍一下？ There are nice guys in my office. Want me to set you up?
好啊 Yeah.
我单身了好一阵子 你以前怎么没提出这个建议？ I've been single a long time. Why haven't you offered before?
我现在有女朋友 很快乐 I have a girlfriend. I'm happy.
不需要再处心积虑 破坏别人的好事 I no longer go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
好 Okay.
我不要会计师 No accountants.
也不要法律部门的人 我不喜欢工作无聊的男人 And no one from "legal." I don't like boring jobs.
难不成罗斯是训兽师吗？ And Ross was what? A lion tamer?
怎么回事？ What's wrong, Mon?
餐厅里的人 还是把我视为眼中钉 Everybody at work still hates me.
我还以为渐入佳境 I was making headway.
大家都冲着我微笑 下班后… Everyone was smiling at me, and then I get off work...
才发现他们在我帽子上写了这个 ...and find out they wrote this on my chef's hat.
也许他们想写的是 "婊子 快住嘴" Maybe they meant to write "Quiet, Bitch."
怎么了？ What's the matter?
干嘛？火气这么大 Fine! Just trying to be nice.
我幼稚园毕业后 就没受过这等鸟气 I haven't been picked on this much since kindergarten.
当时他们找了个国中生 来跟我玩翘翘板 And they brought in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me.
哇 Aw.
他们无所不用其极的想逼我辞职 换做是别的工作我早就不干了 They're trying to make me quit. If it were any other job, I would.
但我等当主厨等了大半辈子 But I've waited for this my whole life.
等等 你是老大 你为什么不吼他们 或干脆炒了他们？ Wait, you're the boss. Yell at them. Or fire them!
我也很想这样 但我最不会处理冲突场面 I would love to, but I can't. I'm not good at confrontation.
你知道该怎么做吗？ You know what you can do?
我读过有关这位名导 奥森威尔斯… I read about this director, Orson Welles...
在片子开拍前 都会刻意花钱请一个人 目的就是当着大家的面开除他 ...who, at the beginning, would hire somebody just to fire them.
好杀鸡儆猴 Then they would all know who was boss.
我反正没事 你干脆开除我算了 I'm not doing anything. Why not fire me?
好主意 你知道怎么当服务生吗？ It's a good idea. Can you waiter?
反正你要开除我 管那么多干嘛 Good enough to get fired.
好 我决定用你了 All right. You're hired!
嘿 Hey!
难怪我上个礼拜被开除 奥森威尔斯导不导广告片？ That's why I got fired last week! Does Orson Welles direct commercials?
有 Yes.
你有在跟谁交往吗？ I say, Drew? Are you seeing anybody right now?
我不是帮我自己问啦 I'm not asking for me.
我不是同志 不是在约你 I'm not gay. I'm not asking you out.
我不是同志 I'm not gay.
我以前没把你当同志 I didn't think you were gay.
不过现在觉得有点像 I do now.
我朋友瑞秋 希望我帮她介绍个男人 My friend, Rachel, wants to be set up.
我才刚刚跟前女友分手 I just got out of a big relationship.
还没准备好要谈感情 I'm not looking to get serious.
就算只是春风一度也没关系 瑞秋不会有意见的 That's okay. A fling might be all right with her.
你说的是来参加耶诞派对的 火练瑞秋吗？ Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is this "Hot Rachel" that you took to the Christmas Party?
没错 那就是她的本名 By the way, that is her full name.
我有空 帮我介绍一下吧 Wow! I'm free for her.
等等 我又没说我没空 Wait, I didn't say I wasn't free.
这样吧 咱们边看球赛边聊 Let's talk it over at the Ranger game.
我有一盒古巴雪茄 Hold on. I just got a box of Cubans.
我五点钟拿到你办公室去 I'll bring them by your office at 5.
我平常不会待到这么晚 不过可以破个例 That's a little later than I usually stay, but sure.
咱们在看球赛之前 可以先喝上两杯陈年巴素海顿波本 Before the game, we could enjoy some eight-year-old Basil Haydens.
天晓得那是什么东东 但好吧 I don't know what that is, but let's!
我为大家写了首圣诞歌 想不想听？ I'm writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
- 好啊 - 好 - Yeah! - Yes!
好 Okay.
摩妮卡 光明节快乐 Happy Hanukkah, Monica
乔伊 愿你圣诞节瑞雪纷飞 May your Christmas be snowy, Joey
钱德 罗斯 新年快乐 Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross
瑞秋 快来玩陀螺 Spin the dreidel, Rachel
- 真好听 - 噢 是的 - Pheebs, that's great! - Oh, yay!
但是瑞秋跟陀螺不押韵 But you know, uh, Rachel doesn't rhyme with dreidel.
我知道 但是要找跟你那笨名字 押韵的东西太难了 I know, but it's so hard. Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
跟瑞秋押韵的字多得很 What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel:
如 贝果 信件 监狱 保释金 第四台… Bagel, mail, jail, bail, cable.
五月节花柱… Maypole.
那些都不错 谢了 All good. Thanks.
你有没有比较容易押韵的外号？ Um, do you, maybe, have a nickname that's easier to rhyme?
- 你爸以前不是常叫你小南瓜吗？ - 是啊 - Didn't your dad call you "Pumpkin"? - Oh, yeah.
但他有没有叫过你布道夫？ But did he ever call you "Budolph"?
- 大家好 - 嘿 - Hello, children. - Hey.
我帮你找了50个好男人 Have I got the 50 guys for you!
真的吗？ Really?
我不过把你的照片亮给他们看 I showed them your picture.
他们就穷拍我的马屁 请我喝酒 送我东西 Guys are throwing themselves at me and giving me stuff.
- 今晚想不想看《尼克队》的球赛？ - 当然 第几排？ - Knicks tonight? - Where are the seats?
随你挑 我有20张票 Wherever! I've got 20.
我会喜欢你帮我挑的男人吗？ Will I like any of these guys?
我想再多… You know, I'm going to, uh...
- 观察一阵子 - 钱德 ...play the field a little bit more. - Chandler...
他们对我简直是 一个口令一个动作 Guys are signing over their 401 Ks to me.
你的同事都是机器人啊？ You work with robots?
对 Yes.
你一定会喜欢我同事派崔克 他人好 风趣 还是个游泳高手 One guy, Patrick, you'll like him. He's nice, funny and a swimmer.
我爱死游泳选手的体格了 I like swimmers' bodies.
而且他老爸还发明了 信用卡背面的磁条 His dad made the magnetic strip on credit cards.
我也爱死信用卡了 I like credit cards!
我还蛮会当红娘的 I'm not bad at this!
- 他是做什么的？- 他在美食部上班 - What does he do? - He works in fine foods.
- 你们公司有美食部？ - 敝公司很大… - You have a fine foods division? - It's a big company...
等等… 你们公司生产食物和机器人？ Now, wait a second. You make food and robots?
不是啦 机器人在那里工作 No, the robots just work for them.
我要去工作了 All right, I'm going to work.
有人有意见吗？ Does anybody have a problem with that?
小姐 Yeah, lady. I do!
我有意见 I got a problem!
你想鸡蛋里挑骨头 就别怪我不客气了 I'll give you a problem!
你想怎样？开除我？ What will you do? Fire me?
那还用说 You bet your ass I'll fire you!
回头见 See you later.
我得走了 今晚有约会 I should go. I've got a date.
跟谁？ With who?
还记得那个住在波基普西的女孩吗？ You know the girl who lives in Poughkeepsie?
不是她 Not her.
我又认识了一个女孩 This is someone else.
现在左右为难 I can't decide between the two.
波基普西那个女孩 虽然住得远 但漂亮 The one from Poughkeepsie, though two hours away, is pretty...
聪明又有趣 ...really smart and a lot of fun.
但另一个女孩… 就住在上城区 But this other girl, she lives right uptown.
她也很漂亮 She's just as pretty.
应该也蛮聪明的 I guess she's smart.
但是无趣得要命 She's not fun.
那你为什么还要跟她约会？ If she's no fun, why date her at all?
我想再给她一个机会 因为她家实在太近了 I want to give her a chance. She lives so close.
上次她说了一句话… And, at the end of the date, she said something that...
若她在开玩笑就好笑到不行 ...if she was kidding, was very funny.
否则她不仅无聊 愚蠢 又有种族歧视 If she wasn't kidding, she's not fun. She's stupid and racist.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
第一天在餐厅工作的 情况如何？ How was your first day at the restaurant?
可恶 Damn!
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
你的制服怎么了？ What happened to your fancy jacket?
被他们烤了 They baked it.
我再也受不了了 I can't take this anymore.
- 我今晚就要开除你 - 没问题 - I'm going to fire you tonight. - You got it. Oh, oh!
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
你衣服上还有火星 You're still on fire there.
你应该已经拍灭了吧 I think you got it!
钱德 你对男人的品味一流 Chandler, you have the best taste in men.
虎父无犬子嘛 Like father, like son.
派崔克和我昨晚玩得好开心 Patrick and I had such a great time last night!
说不定能发展出一段 认真的感情 This could, maybe, get serious.
认真的感情？你不是要露水姻缘吗？ I thought you weren't looking for serious. Just a fling?
有可能噢 Well, you know, possibly.
你没告诉他吧？ You didn't tell him that, though, right?
没有 Uh, no?
你告诉他 我想找一段露水姻缘？ You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?
- 你怎么能告诉他？- 为什么不行？ - You don't tell him that! - Why not?
若某个辣妹只想来段露水姻缘 我高兴都来不及… I'd be thrilled if some hot girl...
我明白了 I see.
你告诉他我不打算认真 咱们第一次约会时我又火力全开 You telling him I want a fling and me putting out...
他一定会误会的 ...he's so going to get the wrong idea!
乔伊 把乳酪拿来好吗？ Joey, could you pass the cheese?
可不可不要叫我乔伊？ I'd prefer you didn't call me Joey.
因为我帮自己 取了个超炫的外号 I thought it might be fun to try out a cool nickname.
龙哥 Hey, Dragon!
这是你这两天赚的小费 Here's your tips from Monday and Tuesday.
天啊 有三百块耶 There's $300 in this one.
过节时客人总是特别大方 People get generous around the holidays.
穿紧身裤的效果更是棒到不行 And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
请服务生过来听听今晚的特餐 Could the waiters listen to the specials?
今晚有芒果腌鲈鱼… There's Chilean sea bass with a mango relish...
你们怎么都不做笔记？ Why is nobody writing these?
我们用背的就行了 We can remember them.
还是要随口乱谓好整我？ Because you'll make up fake specials and make me cook them?
那也行 Sure, that too.
特餐的事先别说了 是这样的… Forget the specials for a minute. Um, here's the thing...
过去两周… For the last two weeks I have, uh...
我试着想营造一个愉快的工作环境 ...tried hard to create a positive atmosphere.
听不到 Can't hear you!
愉快的工作环境 Positive atmosphere.
但是我的气已经满到这里来了 But I've had it up to here.
从现在开始 不听我话的人… From now on, it is going to be my way...
就滚蛋 ...or the highway. All right?
有人有意见吗？ Does anybody have a problem with that?
菜鸟 Hey, new guy.
我说有人有意见吗？ I said, does anybody have a problem with that?
没有 No, ma'am.
他有名字 他叫龙哥 He has a name. It's Dragon.
你想知道你的名字吗？看看你的帽子 You want to know your name? Check your hat.
我们有在帽子上写字吧？ We did the hat, right?
- 刚刚那是怎么回事？ - 真的很抱歉 - What the hell just happened? - I am so sorry.
我真的很想配合你 I was going to do it.
但我一手拿着327块 But I was standing there with $327 in one hand...
另一手拿着238块 我在想… ...and $238 in the other. And I was thinking...
我很久没拿到… ...it's been a long time since I had...
327块加238块 这么多钱了 ...327 plus $238!
我们说好的 我用你就是为了开除你 We had a deal! It's why you're here. I've got to fire you!
但是我得付房租 And I got to pay rent!
这样吧 你别开除我 How about you don't fire me.
我留在这里争取他们的信任 Instead, I stay. I gain their trust.
我说你的好话 他们就听得进去了 They'll listen to the nice things I say about you.
什么好话？ What nice things?
还没有 他们讨厌死你了 我想跟他们打成一片 Nothing yet. They hate you, and I want to fit in.
钱德 摩妮卡 光明节快乐… 圣诞… Happy Hanukkah, Chandler and Monica, Merry, merry...
菲比 你知道吗？ You know what, Pheebs?
我不是犹太人 所以… I'm not Jewish so...
罗斯也不用牙线装饰圣诞树 Ross doesn't decorate his tree with floss...
你有听到他抱怨吗？ ...but he's not complaining.
做恶梦啦？ Bad dream?
我又没在睡觉 I wasn't sleeping.
是吗？那菲比刚刚在唱什么歌？ What was Phoebe's song about?
在唱那首猫歌 It's the one with the cat.
我得走了 又有约 I got to go. I've got another date.
你决定要挑哪一个了吗？ Did you pick one yet?
没有 上城区那个女孩 那次的确在开玩笑 It turns out the one from uptown was making a joke.
但是和我想像中的不同 而且没那么好笑 It was a different joke. It wasn't that funny.
我还是左右为难 So I'm still torn.
你并不喜欢上城区那个女孩 You don't like the one from uptown.
为了跟波基普西妞约会 又累得半死 And you're exhausted from dating Poughkeepsie.
把她们两个都甩了 Just end them both!
坐火车去波基普西跟她分手 Go to Poughkeepsie and break up with her.
回程跟上城妞分手 Then break up with uptown.
到家时一切都解决了 By the time you get home, you're done!
你说得对 谢谢 You're right. Thank you.
我在布扛格也碰过这种问题 I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague.
- 布拉格？- 我的事你不知道的可多了 - Prague? - So much you don't know.
钱德 Chandler?
派崔克刚刚跟我分手了 Patrick just, uh, ended things with me.
你有没有告诉他 我想认真谈段感情？ Did you or didn't you tell him I wanted a serious relationship?
我有 我真的有 I did! I absolutely did!
你这个白痴 You idiot!
有道理 为什么？ I'm sure you're right. But why?
千万不能告诉男人 你要谈段认真的感情 You don't tell a guy that you want a serious relationship.
你把他吓跑了 Now you scared him away!
对不起… I am sorry. I am so sorry.
应该禁止你跟别人说话 You should never be allowed to talk to people!
我知道… I know, I know!
我现在又回到原点了 Now I'm right back where I started.
粉难过 This sucks!
孤孤单单的真难过 Being alone sucks!
你迟早会遇见意中人 You'll meet somebody.
你棒呆了 You're a great catch!
我跟同事形容你时 一句谎话都没说 When I told those guys about you, I didn't have to lie once.
- 真的吗？- 真的 - Really? - Yeah.
你毕业时 有拿优秀毕业生奖吧？ You graduated magna cum laude, right?
没有 No.
不要紧 It doesn't matter.
我有两张今晚球赛的门票 要不要跟我去看？ I got tickets to the Ranger game. You want to come with me?
看猛男穿短裤满场飞？ Cute guys in little shorts?
当然要去 Sure.
今晚是冰上曲棍球赛 你只能看到 没牙的暴躁加拿大佬 Actually, it's a hockey team. Angry Canadians with no teeth.
好像挺好玩的 谢谢 That sounds fun too. Thank you.
好的 Okay.
你有跟女人在一起过吗？ Have you ever been with a woman?
什么？ What?
你有毛病 What is the matter with you?
不管什么时候问这个问题 都会被人骂 There is no good time to ask that question.
下一站是波基普西… The station is Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie!
罗斯？ Ross?
醒醒 Wake up!
罗斯… Ross? Ross! Ross!
再拿点鱼来 I need more swordfish.
- 能不能再拿点鱼来？- 我不讲英文 - Can you get me more swordfish? - I don't speak English.
你刚讲的就是英文 You just did.
这下我哑口无言了 I don't know what to tell you.
好吧 Fine.
很幽默 Very funny.
快放我出来 Let me out, please.
里面好冷 Come on, I'm cold!
而且全身都是酱汁 And covered in marinara sauce!
放我出去 Let me out!
找到把手啦？ You found that handle, did you?
- 不好笑 - 怎么不好笑？ - It's not funny. - Well, that's not true.
我是个好人 也是个好厨师 I'm a good person. And I'm a good chef.
我不该被弄得全身都是酱汁 And I don't deserve to have marinara sauce all over me!
若你们这么希望我辞职… If you want me to quit this bad then...
盖勒主厨 Hey. Chef Geller?
还记得那天你讲的那段话吗？ You know that speech you made?
我有意见 I got a problem with it!
- 是吗？ - 没错 - You do? - You bet I do!
只是我那时没专心听 I just, uh, wasn't listening then, that's all.
你想鸡蛋里挑骨头 就别怪我不客气了 If you want a problem, I'll give you a problem!
你想怎样？开除我？ What are you going to do? Fire me?
那还用说 滚出我的厨房 You bet I'll fire you! Get out of my kitchen!
滚 Get out!
这才像话 All right.
还有谁有意见？ Anybody else got a problem?
你没有意见？ How about you, chuckles?
你现在还觉得好笑吗？ You think this is funny now?
不好笑 No.
我全身沾满酱汁跳舞… 好不好笑？ What if I dance covered in sauce? You think it's funny?
不 你跳得很好 No, it's really good.
沙拉送去给四号桌的客人 Take those salads to table four.
你去帮我拿鱼 And you, get the swordfish!
还有你… And you!
去剪头发 Get a haircut!
终点站 蒙特利尔… Last stop, Montreal. The stop is Montreal!
什么？ What?
我跟自己打赌 赌你有一对美目 I bet myself that you had beautiful eyes.
看来… 我赢了 Now that I see them, I win!
什么？ What?
我要在这站下车 你想不想喝杯咖啡？ We're at my stop. Would you like to have coffee?
我们真的在蒙特利尔吗？ Are we really in Montreal?
对 Yes, we are.
想不想喝咖啡？ So coffee?
好主意 Coffee sounds great.
等等 Wait.
你住在蒙特利尔？ So you live in Montreal?
不 我住新斯科细亚 坐渡轮两小时就到了 No, but it's only a two-hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
在我顶嘴之前 I should have thought about my wife and kids...
真该想想家中妻小 ...before I talked back to Chef Geller.
谢了 Thanks.
看来咱们龙府今年得过个冷飕飕的圣诞节 It will be a lean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
够了 Enough!
冷飕飕啊 Lean, lean, lean!
我去店里 坐在圣诞老公公大腿上 Went to the store Sat on Santa's lap
要他送堆礼物给我朋友 Asked him to bring my friends All kinds of crap
他说你只需要帮他们写首歌 Said all you need is To write them a song
这首歌你们没听过 别想跟着我唱 Now you haven't heard it yet So don't try to sing along
不要跟我唱 No, don't sing along
摩妮卡… Monica, Monica
光明节快乐 Have a happy Hanukkah
我看到圣诞老公公 Saw Santa Claus
他要我跟罗斯说哈罗 He said hello to Ross
请告诉乔伊 And please tell Joey
圣诞节将瑞雪纷飞 Christmas will be snowy
还有瑞秋和钱德 And Rachel and Chandler
祝各位佳节快乐 Happy holidays, everybody!