喂？ Hello?
是我 我知道你不想跟我共处一室 It's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room.
我想用电话跟你道歉… I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone...
喂？ Hello?
听着 我不该亲你的女朋友… Look, I never should've kissed your girlfriend, and I'm...
别再打来了 Stop calling!
嘿… 这里是92点3摇滚广播电台 Hey, hey, hey. This is 92.3 WXRK K-Rock...
您是今天的千元桃战者 ...calling with our $1000 daily challenge.
漂亮 All right.
请问… What is the name of...
你那位非常抱歉 愿意尽全力？ ...your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything...?
火鸡… Ugh, turkey.
说谢谢 Ugh, giving thanks. Ugh.
看 各位 这就是感恩节的精神 Look, everyone, it's the spirit of Thanksgiving.
- 你跟乔伊好一点了吗？ - 糟到不能再糟 Are things with Joey any better?
我昨晚打了8小时电话给他 They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him...
想让他跟我说上一句话 ...trying to get him to talk to me.
哇… 8小时 Oh, wow. Eight hours.
你应该用得上耳机吧？ So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets, huh?
我们都会收到 你从公司偷来的圣诞礼物吗？ Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
你不会 You shouldn't.
讲到圣诞节 Speaking of Christmas...
摩妮卡和我刚开业 没有钱 ...since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money...
今年或许就来抽签互送吧 ...this year maybe we could do Secret Santa and then we each only buy one gift.
这样只要买一份礼物 还可以猜猜看谁抽到那个人 And there's the added mystery of, you know, who gets who.
是谁抽到"哪个人" Who gets "whom."
我是无意识的 I don't know why I do that.
我要去睡个觉 火鸡让我爱困 Oh, I'm gonna take a nap. Turkey makes me sleepy.
我们还没吃耶 We haven't eaten yet.
我知道 但你那堆准备过程… I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready, and I just...
你们有人抽到瑞秋吗？ Hey, did either of you pick Rachel for your Secret Santa?
- 我要换 - 我抽到她 幸好你要她 - Because I wanna trade for her. - I picked her. Oh, thank God, you want her.
噢 Ooh.
你为什么这么想换掉她？ Wow, why do you wanna get rid of her so badly?
因为她收到什么都拿去换 Because she exchanges every gift she gets.
要让她满意根本不可能 It's, like, impossible to get her something she likes.
来换吧 Come on, let's trade.
哪有这回事 她很喜欢我送她的背包 That's not true. I got her that backpack and she loved it.
记得有只大狗把它叼走时 她哭得好… I remember how much she was crying the day that big dog ran off with...
根本没有什么大狗 There was no big dog.
真是的 我已经买了个公事包 还拿去烫了RG This sucks, because I already got her this briefcase and I had "R.G." put on it.
- 是她的姓名缩写 - 噢 - Her initials. - Oh.
也许你可以送给别人 像罗斯盖勒 一样的缩写 Maybe you can give it to somebody else. Oh. Like Ross Geller.
但那是个女用公事包 Oh, you know what, though? It's a girlie briefcase.
那又怎样 他在博物馆上班 Who cares? He works in a museum.
现在几点？球赛要开始了 Hey, what time is it? The big game's about to start.
罗斯和乔伊不在 你可以看游行 Ross and Joey aren't here. You can watch the parade if you want.
谢了 Thanks.
这个冷冻库是怎么搞的 What is wrong with this freezer? Ow! Ow!
- 怎么了？ - 我的眼睛被冰扎到 - God, what happened? - Oh, my God, ice just got in my eye.
这里有人想睡觉耶 People are trying to sleep in here.
摩妮卡的眼睛被冰扎到很痛 Monica got ice in her eye and it hurts.
- 张开让我看看 - 不行 真的很痛 - Open it up. Let me see. - Oh, I can't. It really kills.
也许你应该冰敷 Well, maybe you should put some ice on it.
- 好像很严重 - 也许该送你去看医生 - Ooh, it looks bad. - Maybe we should take you to a doctor.
不行 我的眼科医生是理查 No, my eye doctor is Richard.
我没有男朋友不能去见他 I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.
他对病人还真挑剔 He's really picky about his patients.
你非去不可 他的诊所电话几号？ Okay, you've gotta go. What's his office number?
我哪会记得 Oh, like I remember his office number.
速拨键七 Speed dial 7.
喂 我代表摩妮卡盖勒的眼睛 Hi, yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and...
理查柏克今天在吗？ Is Richard Burke in today?
他不在 她愿意看代诊医师吗？ He's out of town. Does she wanna see the on-call doctor?
- 愿意 - 愿意 她非常兴奋 - Yes. - Yes. She's very excited about that.
酷毙了 摩妮卡回来之前 我是主厨 It's so cool.
我可以做所有的决定 Till Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions.
嘿… 她叫你完全照食谱来 Hey, hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly.
滚出我的厨房 Okay, get out of my kitchen.
好 我跟乔伊有进展了 All right, okay. I think I'm making some progress with Joey.
我进门时 他走进他的房间 When I went into the apartment, he went to his bedroom...
但只抨了一次门 ...but he only slammed the door once.
不过摔的时候有比中指 I mean, yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
好 我得问我妈左手烹饪的问题 All right, I gotta call my mom and ask her a left-handed cooking question.
听着 我抽到摩妮卡 So listen, I picked Monica for Secret Santa...
但我已经替她买了光明节礼物 ...but I'm getting her something for Hanukkah.
你想换吗？ You wanna switch?
其实我想换成你 Oh, you know what? I was trying to trade for, uh, ahem, well, you.
真的？真好 你要送我什么？ Really? Wow, that's so nice. What are you gonna get me?
不晓得 RG 某种女性化的上班用品吧 I don't know, R.G. I was thinking something girlie for your office.
也许菲比会跟我换 Yeah. Well, maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
最好不要 那你会抽到瑞秋 她什么礼物都会拿去换 Then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel, and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
乱讲 我送她很多东西她都没退 Oh, that's not true. I got her lots of stuff she never took back.
像什么？ Like?
像我去年送她的金项链 Like that gold necklace I got her last year.
她上次戴是哪时？ When was the last time you saw her wear it?
她圣诞节整天都戴着 然后… Well, she wore it all Christmas day and then, uh...
大狗？ Big dog?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
把钱德因内疚买的东西退回去 Sending back this stuff Chandler bought out of guilt.
- 全部？包括电视？ - 不 电视要搬进我房里 - Everything? Even the TV? - No, I'm gonna put that in my room.
听着 乔伊 我知道他做错了 Listen, Joey. I know what he did was wrong.
但你就不能听他解释吗？ But don't you think you could hear the guy out?
你和瑞秋在一起时 When you and Rachel were together...
要是钱德吻了她 你会听他解释吗？ ...if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
说得好 That's a good point.
那你要惩罚他多久？ So how long you gonna punish him?
5年 Five years.
你还判了刑？ You've sentenced him?
不敢当就不要做 Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
- 他是你最要好的朋友 - 那是以前 - But, Joey, the guy's your best friend. - No, was my best friend.
你干嘛拼命替他说情？ I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard.
少了他碍事 我"最要好的朋友"就空出来了 With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open.
- 我吗？ - 对 - Who, me? - Yeah.
我真荣幸 Wow. I'm honored.
你知道 当最好的朋友我首先要做什么？ You know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
扛你去跟钱德说话 I'm gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
好啦 All right.
若非你是我最好的朋友… Oh, but if you weren't my best friend...
哦 Ah.
天哪 真的那么严重？ Oh, my God. Is it really that bad?
我进了门 他根本不理我 I walk in the room, and he won't even talk to me.
只碎碎念了几句意大利文 He just mumbles something in Italian.
我知道他只会脏话 And I know he only knows the bad words.
阿甘 你有看见钱德吗？ Hey, Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
我以为你才是钱德 I thought you were Chandler.
你们其中一个在那边 But, um, one of you is over there.
噢 Oh.
嘿 乔伊 Hey, Joe.
我马上就好 I'll be right with you, okay?
谢谢你 Thanks for coming in.
天哪 这个代诊医生真可爱 Oh, my God. How cute is the on-call doctor?
可爱到我想拿笔插我的眼睛 Oh. So cute that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
柏克医生可以见你了 Dr. Burke will see you now.
不是柏克医生 柏克医生不在 Oh, no, no, no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke's out of town.
是代诊医生要帮我看 The on-call doctor will see me now.
理查柏克医生不在 Dr. Richard Burke is out.
他儿子提摩西柏克医生帮你看 Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
准备好了吗？ Ready?
对不起 刚才… Hey, I'm sorry. That...
- 你要去哪里？ - 我爸妈家 - Where you going? - My folks'.
噢 哦… Oh. Uh...
什么时候回来？ When you coming back?
不知道 I don't know.
可能会住几天顺便找房子 I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
什么？ What?
原先我以为我们可以谈开来 Yeah, you know, at first I thought we could talk about this, work it out.
但是看到你们在一起… But seeing you two together, I don't...
你要我说什么？说我不见她了吗？ Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say I'll stop seeing her?
跟她无关 好吗？ It's not about her. Okay?
但看到你们在一起 就让我想起你做的事 But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did.
我不跟一个不懂朋友道义的人 住在一起 And I don't wanna live with someone who doesn't know what it is to be a friend.
- 再见 - 我懂朋友道义 - So I'll see you. - Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend.
- 只是我搞砸了 - 对 没错 - I just... I screwed up. - Yeah, you did.
所以我要离开 And that's why I'm leaving.
听着 你不为我留下来 至少为他们留下来 Look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them.
他们这一年很不顺 还被抢 Okay? They have had a very difficult year, what with the robbery and all.
当那个人抢了我们 When that guy was robbing us...
我在柜子里关了六小时 ...and I was locked in the entertainment unit for six hours...
你知道我在做什么？ ...do you know what I was doing?
我在想我太让你失望了 I was thinking about how I let you down.
- 哇 - 对 - Wow. - Yeah.
早知道你会见色忘友 我根本不会担心 If I'd have known what kind of friend you were gonna be, I wouldn't have worried.
- 再见 - 等一下 - See you around. - All right, wait, come on.
等一下 一定有什么我能做的 Just wait one second. There has to be something that I can do.
如果柜子还在 If we still had that unit...
我会关六小时 检讨我有多让你失望 ...I would get in there for six hours and think about how I let you down.
怎么了？ What?
我们有一个箱子 We got a box.
我记得上次见到你 I remember the last time I saw you.
是去外地念书的早上 It was the morning I left for college.
你站在乳品皇后外面 You were just standing outside the Dairy Queen.
八成是在等它开店 Heh. Just probably waiting for it to open.
我得说 你现在好漂亮 Gotta tell you, you look great now.
- 你也漂亮 - 你真是个好病人 - You look great too. - You're an excellent patient.
情况如何？ So how does it look?
你的角膜有刮伤 得戴几天眼罩 You've got a little scratch on your cornea. You're gonna have to wear a patch.
像海盗那样？ Like a pirate?
大致是那样 If that helps you.
你跟你爸一起工作多久了？ Ahem. So how long have you been working with your dad?
总得有人提到他 Come on, one of us had to mention him.
我是两个月前搬回来的 I moved back here a couple months ago.
哦 Ah.
- 晚上要家庭聚餐？ - 哦… - Big family dinner tonight? - Uh...
不会吧 No way.
我本来要去女朋友家吃饭 I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's.
但我们分手了 - Oh. - But we broke up.
噢？ Oh?
她还不想定下来 She wasn't ready for a serious commitment.
噢 Oh.
所以你让她跳海吃自己？ So you made her walk the plank, aye, matey?
你还没戴眼罩呢 You're not wearing the patch yet.
我知道 I know.
- 他要来过感恩节？ - 对啊 好变态喔 - He's coming here for Thanksgiving? - I know. It's sick.
- 为什么变态？ - 因为他是理查的儿子 - Why is it sick? - Because it's Richard's son.
这跟找希腊悲剧来吃饭一样 It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner.
菲比 你了解吧？ I mean, come on, Phoebe, you understand, don't you?
我知道你为什么指望我 但是我不了解 Yeah, I could see where I'd be your best shot, but no.
- 对不起 我觉得很畸形 - 对啊 - Sorry, honey. I think it's twisted. - Yeah.
- 什么是畸形？ - 我跟理查的儿子交往 - What's twisted? - Oh. Me going out with Richard's son.
好嗯 Ew.
嗯嗯嗯 Ew, ew, ew.
我觉得实在是个烂主意 It sounds like a really bad idea to me.
他在里面可以吗？ Is he okay in there?
他好得很 He's fine.
要是你跟理查的儿子有结果 你就可以告诉孩子 You know, if things work out between you and Richard's son...
你跟他们的爷爷上过床 ...you'll be able to tell your kids that you slept with their grandfather.
好 随你们怎么批评 Fine, judge all you want to.
娶到女同志 临阵逃婚 爱上同性恋冰上舞者 But married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer...
把女生的木腿丢进火里 住在箱子里 ...threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a box.
住箱子的用意到底何在？ So, now, ahem, what exactly is the point of the box?
钱德 Chandler?
住箱子有三重意义 The meaning of the box is threefold.
第一 让我有时间反省我的 所作所为 One, it gives me the time to think about what I did.
第二 证明我有多重视 跟乔伊的友谊 Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey.
第三… And three...
会痛 ...it hurts.
- 嘿… - 喔？ - Oh, hey, hey, uh... - Hmm?
记得我去年送你的项链吗？ Remember that necklace I gave you last year?
可以给我看吗？ Can I see it?
为什么？ Why?
我只是想看一下 I just wanna check something.
好 Okay.
等着瞧吧 Now we'll see.
没气了 没气了 Air hole! Air hole!
在这里 我很喜欢 我常戴 Here it is. I love it. I wear it all the time.
我送的是金项链 这是银的 The necklace I got you was gold. This is silver.
哦 Huh.
也许它… Well, maybe, it, uh...
变色了 ...it changed.
天哪 你真的拿去换 Oh, my God. You actually exchanged it.
换一个我喜欢又常用的东西 Isn't it better that I exchange it for something that I enjoy...
不是比较好？ ...and I can get a lot of use out of?
你换了什么？ What did you get?
换购金额 Credit.
我来开 我来开… I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it.
- 嗨 提姆 - 嗨 - Hi, Tim. - Hi.
嗨 谢谢 来见我的朋友 Hi. Thank you. Come meet my friends.
- 这是菲比 - 幸会 - This is Phoebe. - Hi, nice to meet you.
- 乔伊 - 你好 - And Joey. - Hey.
- 乔伊 - 我哥哥罗斯 - Joey. - My brother, Ross.
- 你好 - 还有瑞秋 - Hey. - And Rachel.
- 你好 - 嗯 - Hi. - Ahem.
- 那是钱德 - 你好 - That's Chandler. - How do you do?
- 这是 - 他在 - What's...? - Um, well, he's, um...
他在反省 He's doing some thinking.
他得分了 He's got it.
- 好耶 - 耶 - Yes! - Yeah!
- 发生什么事了？ - 你亲了我的女友 - What happened? - You kissed my girlfriend.
喔 我喜欢那副太阳眼镜 Ooh, I like those sunglasses.
真的喜欢还是 "Like them" like them...
可以到店里换东西的喜欢 ...or "I'd like to get store credit for that amount" like them?
好了各位 火鸡上桌了 All right, everybody. This turkey is ready.
- 我可以洗个手吗？ - 这里 - Where can I wash up? - Here.
我带你去 Let me show you.
毛巾挂在洗手台旁边 你可以用高级香皂 The towels are hanging next to the sink. And you can use the fancy soap. Ha, ha.
谢谢 Thank you.
高级香皂？我以为要留给教宗用 Fancy soap? I thought we were saving that for the Pope.
看吧 他人很好吧？ See? He's nice, right?
但你真的想在谈恋爱时说 Do you really wanna be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase...
"你爸的做法不同"？ ..."That's not how your dad used to do it"?
看起来好好吃 我坐哪里？ Wow, everything looks great. Where should I sit?
我帮你留这个位子 Saved you a seat.
变态 变态 变态 变态 Sick, sick, sick.
我去开 Oh, I'll get it.
被我骗了 Gotcha.
这听起来不像是反省 That doesn't sound like thinking to me.
- 对不起 - 你不应该说话的 - Sorry. - I don't think you should be talking at all.
你要想的太多了 不该说话开玩笑 I think you got too much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes.
好 没问题 Okay, okay, you got it.
- 罗斯 把蕃薯给我 - 好 - Ross, could you pass me the yams? - Sure.
你想换的话 乔伊那里有马铃薯泥 Oh, and Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
够了 你是怎么搞的？ Will you stop? What is the matter with you?
有客人喔 Heh, heh. We've got company.
我没怎么搞的 There's nothing the matter with me.
我不是麻木不仁的人 See, I'm not completely devoid of sentiment.
我是有感觉的 See, I have feelings.
好 很好 Okay, fine.
你们看不到 但我正在露屁股打圆场 You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys.
好 听着 All right, look.
如果你把它当成笑话 那就算了 If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?
这对我很重要 This means something to me.
要是对你不重要 你就死出来 If it doesn't mean anything to you, then get out of there.
否则只是个白痴在箱子里 Otherwise, you're just an idiot in a box.
你说得对 对不起 这对我非常重要 You're right. I'm sorry. This means a lot to me.
我想跟你再次当朋友 我发誓今晚不会再说话了 I want you to be my friend again. I swear I won't say another word tonight.
- 你真的会当一回事？ - 绝对会 - So you're gonna take this thing seriously? - Absolutely.
你又说话罗 That sounds like another word to me.
你真的会当一回事吗？ Are you gonna take this seriously?
很好 Okay.
别说我麻木不仁 Don't say that I have no sentiment.
这是第一次约会的电影票根 This is a movie stub from our first date.
这是你第一次 为我做床上早赛的蛋壳 This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed.
这是博物馆的 我们第一次… This is from the museum, the first time we...
在一起 ...were together.
对 或许我有时会换礼物 但重要的东西我会留 Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter.
我不知道该说什么 对不起 I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
但是… Though...
这个不能拿 ...you're not supposed to take these.
它有百万年的历史 It's like a million years old.
我们还派专人去找呢 We actually... We have people looking for that.
老是会卡住 Oh, this always happens.
让我来 Here, let me, um...
谢谢 Thank you.
你的眼睛… You have very beautiful...
很漂亮 ...eye.
我朋友都觉得这样很怪 My friends all think this is weird.
我原先也觉得会 还差点取消 但其实不会 I thought it was gonna be weird. I almost called to cancel, but it really isn't.
我知道 我跟你爸完全是两回事 I know. I mean, it's like me and your dad, that's a totally separate thing.
我完全同意 Oh, I totally agree.
我们只是两个… I mean, we're just two people who find each other...
互相吸引的人 ...very attractive.
对吧？ Right?
- 怎么了？ - 没事 - What? - Nothing, nothing.
那个吻不好吗？ No, no, really. Oh, was that not okay?
不 很好 No, no, no, that was good.
那个吻很好 That was, uh... That was a good kiss.
- 天哪 它让你想到… - 别说 - Oh, my God. It didn't remind you of my...? - Oh, don't say it.
- 但是有 对吧？ - 对 - But it did, didn't it? - Yes!
天哪 Oh, man.
我知道 I know.
我去开 I got it.
噢 Oh.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 听着 我真的很抱歉… - 没关系 - I want you to know how sorry I am... - It's okay.
我气的是钱德 Chandler's the one I'm mad at, so...
我还是很抱歉 Well, I'm still sorry.
- 他在吗？ - 在箱子里 - Is he here? - In the box.
钱德？ Chandler?
他现在不能说话 Oh, he can't talk right now.
为什么？怎么了？ Why not? What's going on?
他想表示他很重视乔伊 He's trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
- 所以窝在箱子里？ - 乔伊有他的理由 - By being in a box? - Joey had reasons.
有三重意义 They were threefold.
噢 嗯… Oh. Well, uh...
你不能说话反而让事情好办一些 ...you not being able to talk might actually make this easier.
听我说… Listen, um...
听我说 Listen.
我不想介入两个最要好的朋友之问 I don't wanna be someone who comes between two best friends.
我不忍心看着这件事影响你们 I just... I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys.
我不想成为罪魁祸首 And I don't wanna be the cause of that.
所以我们不该再见面了 So I don't think we can see each other anymore.
我要去芝加哥找我妈 I'm gonna go to my mom's in Chicago.
我会住一阵子 I'm gonna stay there for a while.
我以为这段感情会很美好 I think this could have been something really amazing.
但或许这么做最好 But, you know, this is probably for the best.
你懂吗？ You know?
我会想念你的 I'm gonna miss you.
再见了 钱德 Goodbye, Chandler.
把箱子打开啦 Open the box.
- 什么？ - 他还追得上她 - What? - He can still catch her.
快出来啦… Hey, come on. Get out of there. Get out of there.
- 所以"' - 我们没事了啦 出来啦 - So...? - Yeah, we're gonna be fine. Get out.
- 真的？ - 对 - Yeah? - Yeah.
你好好反省过了 You did some real good thinking in there.
这真是… I mean, this is...
快 你还追得上她 Now go. You could still catch her.
你的神秘圣诞老人祝你圣诞快乐 And merry Christmas from your Secret Santa.
谁抽到钱德？我要换 All right, who got Chandler? Because I need to trade.
他看到她了 Oh, he sees her.
他在追她 Aw, and he's catching up to her.
她看到他了 Oh, she sees him.
- 他们拥抱了 - 呃 - Oh, they're hugging. - Aw.
他在抢她的皮包 He's taking her purse.
那不是他们 我去报警 Uh, that's not them. I'm gonna go call the police.
- 喔 他们在那里？ - 哪里 - Oh, there they are. - Where?
- 啊 - 噢 - Ah! - Oh.
哦 Aw.
好 快去开房间吧 All right, get a room.