我刚撞见凯西光着身体 I just saw Kathy naked.
真是酷刑 It was like torture.
要是你去打仗被俘 你就有福了 If we go to war and you're captured, you're in for a surprise.
事情越来越糟 It keeps getting worse.
爱上室友的女朋友已经够糟了 I'm in love with my roommate's girlfriend.
每次我们共处一室 空气就很诡异 紧张 Every time we're in the same room, there's weird energy between us.
就当我疯了 但我觉得她也喜欢我 Call me crazy, but I think she likes me too.
现在我又看到她的裸体 And now I have seen her naked.
她穿着衣服 At least with her clothes on...
我还能想像她全身长满烂疮 ...I could imagine her body was covered in boils.
结果没有 她很光滑 But there are no boils. She's smooth.
很光滑 Smooth!
哇… Wow...
他刚才那样坐都走光了 Could you see up his robe?
- 噢 我的上帝 - 是的 - Oh, my God. - Yeah.
- 拿去 - 我待会打给你 - Here you go. - I'll call you.
好 Great.
那是谁？ Hey, hey. Who was that?
那是凯希 我们晚上要约会 Casey. We're going out tonight.
约会？哇 Going out? Wow.
你跟凯西分手了？真可惜 It didn't work out with Kathy? Bummer.
没有啊 我们很好 No, things are fine.
我跟她吃饭之前要先跟凯希吃 I'm having a late meal with her after an early one with Casey.
- 什么？ - 是的 - What? - Yeah.
最扯的是我刚吃完整个披萨 The craziest thing is, I just ate a whole pizza myself.
慢着… Wait...
- 你要跟凯西见面？ - 对 - You're going out with Kathy. - Yeah.
你干嘛这么冲？ Why are you upset?
我是… Well, I'm upset...
为了你 ...for you.
不断跟美女追求性爱 一定很空虚 Sex with an endless line of women must be unfulfilling.
那又怎样？我们男未婚女未嫁 What's the big deal? It's not like we're exclusive.
乔伊 Look, Joey.
凯西显然无法满足你的心灵 Kathy's not fulfilling your emotional needs.
但是凯希… But Casey...
我只看到她的后脑勺 Granted, I just saw the back of her head.
但是我感觉得到她聪明风趣 But I got this sense that she's smart and funny...
能捉到你的心 ...and gets you.
光看后脑勺就知道这么多？ You got all that from the back of her head?
你该定下来了 It's time to settle down.
做个选择 爱你所爱 Make a choice. Pick a lane.
谁是妮索艾？ Who's Elaine?
小泰山东尼 Little Tony Tarzan
用鼻毛荡来荡去 不费吹灰之力 Swinging on a nose hair Swinging with the greatest of ease
我不知道怎么接 I don't know the next verse.
你可以唱 You could just go:
"不费吹灰之力" Greatest of ease
然后接下去 Then go right into it.
也对 我喜欢 I like that.
慢着 你怎么会那个… How do you know about "ba-ma-na-ma-na-ma"?
我玩过音乐 You know, I used to play.
也对 键盘嘛 That's right. The keyboards?
高中只是玩玩 大学才真正投入 A little in high school. I got into it in college.
那时我才找到我的声音 That's when I really found my sound.
我把果汁喷出来了 但是值得 Juice just came out of my nose, but it was worth it.
天哪 Oh, my God.
- 我都忘了你的声音 - 是啊 - I completely forgot about your sound. - Yeah.
他常把自己锁在地下室好久 He'd lock himself in the basement.
谁也不准听那个"声音" No one was ever allowed to hear "the sound."
我想听那个"声音" I want to hear "the sound."
不行 我很久没弹了 No, I mean, I haven't played in so long.
那是很私密的东西 Well, it's really personal stuff.
快嘛 俗搁有力就要秀 Play that funky music, white boy.
- 是啊 - 不行啦 - Yeah, come on. - No, you guys.
我的键盘在… 好吧 My keyboards are all the way... Yeah, okay.
可以了 Okay, guys.
来吧 All right. Bring it on, you.
来了 Here we go.
我的东西没有弹给别人听过 You know, I've never played my stuff for anyone before.
希望你们能了解 It's important that you understand...
这是在传达… ...it's about communicating...
很私密的情感 ...very private emotions.
你知道的… You know...
你们应该把我的作品 You should think of my work...
看做是无字音诗 ...as wordless sound poems.
- 所以… - 你就弹吧 - That's what... - My God, play.
这真是… Well, you know, that was...
太棒了 ...terrific.
真是… Really...
婊子 ...bitchin'.
哇 我的天哪 Wow. It was so wow.
真的吗？ Really?
对 你实在应该去表演 Yeah. I mean, you should play in public.
谢谢你们 这真是… Wow, thanks, you guys. That's...
我想再弹另一首 I want to play you another piece.
噢 Oh.
直升机音效在另一张磁片里 我马上回来 I left my helicopter sounds on another disk. I'll be back.
太好了 我好… This is so nice. I mean, I am so...
幸好我爸替地下室隔音 God bless my dad for soundproofing the basement.
我居然让他用那些手指模我 I can't believe I ever let him touch me with those fingers.
你们在说什么？我好喜欢 What are you guys talking about? I loved it.
太动人了 It was so moving.
而且跟一般听到的东西都不同 It's so different from the stuff you usually hear.
你是说音乐吗？ You mean, music?
我知道你在想什么 I know what you think.
好啦 你的胸部也很坚挺 Yes, yes, your breasts are just as firm and juicy.
请进 Come in.
嘿 Hey.
天哪 那是《海滩游侠》吗？ Oh, God. Is that Baywatch?
对 我只是要看它的文章 Yes, but I just watch it for the articles.
乔伊在吗？ So is Joey around?
他还没回来 应该．马上就会到 No, he's not back yet.
进来坐 船头还是船尾？ Come in, have a seat. Bow or stern?
我没差 你呢？ I don't have a preference. You?
我喜欢后面 I like it in the stern.
我是说船尾 Of the boat.
嗨 Hello.
是我 听着 我们在回程时出了状况 It's me. Casey and I had a little car trouble.
- 怎么了？ - 我们在路上抛锚了 - What happened? - We broke down.
我得走回去找变速器油 I have to get transmission fluid.
帮我跟凯西道歉 说我马上回去 Tell Kathy that I'm sorry and I'll be there soon.
- 你怎么不自己说？ - 我只有- 枚硬币 时间快要… - Why can't you tell her? - I think my time is about to...
乔伊？ Joey? Joey?
怎样？ Yeah?
时间不是到了？ I thought your time ran out.
我也以为 看来还有一点… Me too, but I guess I do have...
乔伊会晚一点 他跟你道歉 Joey's running a little late, and he says he's sorry.
就剩我们两个了 I guess it's just you and me, then.
噢 Oh.
- 好 - 我想也是 - Okay. - Yeah, I think it is.
你今天做了什么？ So what'd you do today?
我约好要去剪头发 I had an appointment to cut my hair.
- 很好看 - 然后取消了 - Looks great. - And then it got canceled.
我可以帮你剪 I could cut it.
- 真的吗？ - 对 Really?
我是在姑妈的狗美容院学的 不过你要不要？ Yeah, I learned at my aunt's dog-grooming shop. What do you say?
狗美容？ Dog grooming?
好 别把尾巴剪得太蓬 Don't make my tail too poofy.
你的发质很好 You have really great hair.
谢谢 我自己种的 Oh, thanks. I grow it myself.
乔伊的发质也很好 Joey also has great hair.
对 乔伊的发质很好 Yes, Joey has great hair.
差不多了 我帮你清一下 I'm basically done here. Let me get this hair off your neck.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
看一下长度 Checking if it's even.
好 Okay.
看来没问题 Looks good.
电话 电话在发出声音 The phone! The phone's making sounds.
- 哈罗 - 老兄 是我 - Hello. - Hey, dude, it's me.
是乔伊 Hey, it's Joey.
对不起 我们会拖上一阵子 It looks like we'll be stuck here.
我弄到机油了 但是发现变速器不在 I got the fluid. The transmission wasn't there.
- 什么？ - 定是掉在前面了 - What? - It fell out.
我们撞到一只狗 I just figured we hit a dog.
好 Okay.
请凯西来听 我要跟她道歉 Could you put Kathy on? I want to apologize to her.
乔伊找你 It's Joey.
嘿… Hey...
没关系 放心好了 No, it's fine. Don't worry about it.
别再道歉了 没关系 Yeah, no, stop apologizing. It's okay.
好 明天再联络 I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- 我该走了 - 对 - I should probably go. - Yeah.
好 Yes. Yeah...
我忘了带皮包 I forgot my purse.
噢… Oh...
- 我是真的忘了带皮包 - 我知道 I really did. I forgot my purse.
- 这样很不好 - 太糟糕了 - This is bad. It's bad. - Horrible.
你是说吻还是状况？ Wait, the kiss or the situation?
那个吻很棒 The kiss was good.
- 但这样很不好 - 对 好 这样吧 - But that's bad. - Here's what we do.
- 我们忘了这件事 - 什么？ - We forget it. - What?
我们压抑我们的感觉 即使这样会痛苦一辈子 不错吧？ We swallow our feelings, even if we're unhappy forever. Sound good?
你真的做得到？ Can you really do that?
我不得不 他是我最好的朋友 I have to. He's my best friend.
而你在跟他交往 And you're seeing him.
钱德 我很喜欢乔伊 Chandler, I like Joey a lot.
但是跟你… But with you...
不 别说了 No, don't. Don't, see?
你会把我搞乱 我已经开始渴望了 You're getting me confused. I'm starting to yearn.
对不起 I'm sorry.
要是你想假装没事 我可以试试看 If you want to pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
我们非这么做不可 I think we have to.
好的 Okay.
- 再见 - 再见 - Bye. - Bye.
你还在外面吗？ Are you still out there?
没有 No.
振奋人心 Electrifying
无穷的时间 Infinite time
三条街外有一家星巴克 There's a Starbucks about three blocks down.
他的灵感好丰富 你们看他 He's so inspired. Just look at him. Look at him go.
谢谢各位 Thank you very much.
接着不是该你？ Hey, aren't you up next?
- 不 我今天不唱了 - 为什么？ - I'm not playing tonight. - Why not?
我不能接在罗斯后面 I can't follow Ross.
那就像骑脚踏车的猩猩 It'd be like those poor bicycle-riding chimps...
接在彼头四后面一样 天哪 ...who had to follow the Beatles. No.
菲比 罗斯很烂 Phoebe. Ross sucks.
他把客人都吓跑了 The place has emptied because of him.
天哪 当世甚至没有人欣赏他 My God, he's not even appreciated in his own time.
我巴不得能跟他一样寂寞 I'd give anything to not be appreciated in my own time.
好 菲比… Okay. Phoebe...
你也很烂 You suck too.
没错 菲比 Yeah, Phoebe.
你…烂透了 You're awful.
真是的 You guys.
你们也很烂 You suck too.
天哪 我居然又把自己锁在外面了 Man. I can't believe I locked myself out again.
等一下 Hang on, buddy.
天哪 出了什么事？ My God. What happened?
- 这都是你买的？为什么？ - 就是我 - Did you do all this? Why? - I sure did.
我喜欢为我的朋友尽一点心 It made me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
你真好 You're amazing.
不 这个才叫好 No, this is amazing.
凭空冒出来的电视 A TV appears from nowhere.
这是我的梦想 The dream.
你哪来这么多钱？ How did you afford all this?
我都29了 还存什么钱？ I'm 29. I mean, who needs a savings account?
你是世界上最棒的朋友 You're the best friend anyone has ever had.
我可不敢说 I don't know.
你怎么不敢 No, you are.
你买这些东西 还给我忠告 You do this, you give me advice...
对了 你不是要我定下来？ What you said about focusing on one woman?
我决定照做 I'll do that.
跟凯希？ With Casey?
不 我要跟凯西继续 她很酷 I'll see how things go with Kathy. She's cool.
- 或者凯希 - 不 凯西 - Or Casey. - No, Kathy.
凯希也行 Could be Casey.
不 凯西 No, Kathy.
考虑一下凯希 Consider Casey.
看来有人在喜欢凯希喔 I think somebody's got a little crush on Casey.
要不要我帮你们牵线？ I'll fix you two up. What do you think?
那我这一生将了无遗憾 That all the pieces of my life are falling right into place.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
你好厉害 真的真的好厉害 You were really great. You were really, really great.
谢谢 Thanks.
摩妮卡说你不想再表演了 Monica tells me you don't want to play anymore because of me...
因为我和我的才华 ...and, you know, my talent.
是真的吗？ Is that true?
- 算是吧 - 菲比·布菲 - Well, kind of, yeah. - Pheebs...
我很想抱持无所谓乐观的态度 I was trying to be really okay and upbeat about it...
但是你的才华令我自惭形秽 ...but I just feel so dwarfed by your musical gift.
但是… See, but...
菲比 这跟我做音乐的用意 正好相反 Pheebs, that is the exact opposite intent of my music.
我做音乐是想要鼓舞人心 You know, my music is meant to inspire.
要是你这么困扰 那我… If it bothers you this much...
我就不弹了 ...then I won't play anymore.
不 千万不要 No, don't do that.
我怎么能让这个世界 失去你的音乐？ How could I live if I knew I was depriving the world of your music?
好吧 Yeah, okay.
新家具很棒喔 Hey, Chandler. Saw the new furniture. Very nice.
乔伊有你这个男朋友真好 Joey has the best boyfriend ever.
我吻了凯西 I kissed Kathy.
真的还假的？ What? Are you serious?
- 乔伊知道吗？ - 不知道 - Does Joey know? - No.
你们想他有可能谅解吗？ Is there any way you think he will understand this?
你显然没有背叛过朋友 You obviously haven't screwed over your friends.
我们都很感激 Which we all appreciate.
要是你先坦承你的感觉再亲她 If you'd told him how you felt before you kissed her...
乔伊一定会退让 ...knowing Joey, he'd have stepped aside.
别这么说 这不是真的吧？ Don't say that. That's not true, is it?
- 真的啊 - 他爱你 - Yeah. - He loves you.
那你们怎么不告诉我？ Then why didn't you tell me to do that?
我跟菲比聊过 I said something to Phoebe.
对 我觉得这是个好主意 And I thought it was a really good idea.
- 对 我记得 - 天哪 - Yeah, I remember. - Oh, my God.
我该怎么办？ What am I going to do?
你得告诉他 You'll have to tell him.
为什么我要告诉他？ Why do I have to?
- 你就是得说 - 我知道 - Because you do. - Yeah, I know.
我可以拿这件事写一首歌吗？ Would it be okay if I wrote a song about this?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
茴香玛格丽特？ Sambuca Margarita?
是真的吗？ It that a real thing?
我们只有茴香酒 所以是 Well, we only had sambuca, so it is now.
听着 乔伊 Listen, Joe. I need to...
我有事要说 I need to talk to you.
什么事？ What's up?
是凯西的事 It's about Kathy.
我喜欢她 I like her.
其实是非常喜欢 I like her a lot, actually.
真的？ You do?
对 Yeah.
那你的时机正好 Your timing couldn't be better.
她不是我的女朋友了 She's not my girlfriend anymore.
什么？ What?
- 她跟我分手了 - 什么时候？ - Yeah, she broke up with me. - When?
刚才上完表演课后 Just now, after acting class.
我以为她在演戏 还让别人看 I thought she was doing some scene, so I let people watch.
太可惜了 你还好吗？ Man, I am so sorry. Are you okay?
不太好 但我没事 你喜欢她？ I've been better, but I'm all right. So you like her?
对 但我不一定要喜欢她 Yes, but I don't have to.
不 没关系 No, it's okay.
- 真的？ - 对 - Yeah? - Yeah.
你知道为什么？因为你先来告诉我 You know why? Because you came to me first.
我觉得这么做最好 I thought that would be the best thing to do.
你可能会很辛苦 You might have your work cut out for you.
我跟她谈的时候 觉得她在喜欢别人 When I talked to her, I got the feeling she's into some other guy.
这就是我要跟你谈的事 See, that's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
我想我知道那个人是谁 I think I know who the other guy is.
是谁？ Who?
是我 It's me.
我就是那个别人 I'm the other guy.
什么？ What?
对 你昨天晚归 凯西和我聊了起来 When you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking...
事情演变到后来就… ...and one thing led to another, and...
就什么？你跟她上床？ And what? Did you sleep with her?
没有 我只是吻了她 No, I just kissed her.
什么？那样更糟 What? That's even worse.
- 怎么会更糟？- 我不知道 反正都一样 - How is that worse? - It's the same.
对不起 我也没办法 我爱上她了 There's nothing I could do. I'm in love with her.
那又怎样？ Who cares?
你背着我乱来？我绝不会那样对你 You went behind my back? I'd never do that to you.
你说得对 我无话可说 我太过份了 I have no excuses. I was totally over the line.
过份？你根本就过份到连过份都不算过份 You're so far past the line, that you can't even see the line.
只能算正常 It's a dot to you.
没错 Yes.
没错 我很自责 你要相信我 Yes, right. And I feel horrible. You have to believe me.
所以你买了这些东西？ Is that why you bought all this?
你知道吗？ You know what?
我不看你的电视 I will not watch your TV.
我不听你的音响 I won't listen to your stereo.
烤面包机里有一个面包我不吃 你知道为什么？ And there's a loaf in the new bread maker I won't eat. Know why?
因为… Because...
因为它被你的背叛弄脏了 It's all tainted with your betrayal.
今后这间房子对我而言是空的 我对你也很不爽 This apartment is empty to me. I'm not happy about you, either.
跟你说一声 And just so you know...
那个面包是为你烤的 ...I made that bread for you.
天哪 他完全不行了 Oh, my God. He's totally lost it.
什么？ What?
菲比 他的音乐本来就烂到最高点 Phoebe. This cannot get any worse.
地下室的老鼠都去上吊了 Rats in the basement are hanging themselves.
谢谢 Thank you. Thanks.
我不行了 I lost it.
我再也不玩音乐了 I won't play anymore.
你愿意… 你可以完成我的作品吗？ Would you... Can you finish my set?
接着上台？可以 After that? Yeah.
我是说我愿意尽力 No, I mean, if I can help.
我怎么可能不行了 Like I could lose it.
- 什么？ - 我是故意弹得很烂 - What? - I played bad on purpose, guys.
- 噢 - 噢 - Oh. - Oh.
原来你一直都在故意 You were playing bad this whole time.
不 只有刚才那首 Just that last song.