-今晚和瑞秋有约 -对 - So you and Rachel tonight, huh? - Yeah.
我们第一次正式约会 Yeah, it's actually our first official date.
看样子今晚有事发生 Wow, so tonight may be the night.
你紧张吗 You nervous?
不 这才是我真正擅长的部分 No. This is the part I'm actually good at.
即使是恐惧和自我厌恶情绪也不能产生影响 What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?
对 It's okay.
你怎么能这么有信心 How can you be so confident?
因为我明确地知道我要做什么 Well, I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
真的 你有个程序吗 Really? Like, you have a routine?
不 女人个个都不同 No. See, each woman is different.
你要欣赏到她们的特性 You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
-真的 -不 我会做六件事 - Really? - No, I do six things.
首先 我要深情地望着她的眼睛 First, I look deep into her eyes,
然后 我会吻她 then I kiss her.
随后我用手 Next, I take my hand
轻轻地擦过她的大腿 and I softly graze her thigh.
你是说这样 You mean like this?
不是像那样 不 是像这样 No, not like that. No, no. No, like this:
我知道你的意思了 I see what you mean.
真的感觉很棒 That's quite nice.
-再来一局桌上足球 -还有啤酒 - More foosball? - And beer.
《老友记》 第十季 第3集 罗斯也想要褐色皮肤 Friends S10E03 The One With Ross's Tan
-嗨 -嗨 - Hey. - Hey.
嗨 亲爱的 Hey, sweetie.
嘿 别盯着我老婆的腿看 Hey, stop staring at my wife's legs.
不不 别盯着你妹妹的腿看 No, no. Stop staring at your sister's legs.
对不起 只是... 你怎么晒成褐色的 I'm sorry, it's just-- How'd you get so tan?
她去了一个那种喷雾晒肤俱乐部 She went to one of those spray-on tan places.
你做了喷雾晒肤 You got a spray-on tan?
钱德勒勒去修了脚趾甲 Chandler gets pedicures!
什么 你修了脚趾甲 What? You do?
用那种脚趾隔离器的 Like, with the toe separators?
为...为什么 Why? Why?
我还是不能相信那是喷雾晒肤的结果 I can't believe that's sprayed on.
我是说 这看起来不错 I mean, it looks really good.
我也想做一次 I wonder if I should get one.
当然 然后你应该穿上超短裙显摆下 Sure, then you should get a miniskirt so you can really show it off.
你是涂了趾甲油还是只加了法式的趾甲片 So do you get colors or just French tips?
-给你 他们的名片 -谢谢 - Here. Here's their card. - Thanks.
我知道这个地方 Hey, I know where this place is.
那儿曾经是个成人录影带... It used to be an X-rated video--
花店 Florist.
-嗨 -嗨 菲比 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs.
你们不会相信谁搬回来了 You won't believe who moved back to town.
我知道 阿曼达 I know. Amanda.
她也打给我了 她最招人烦了 She called me too. She's the worst.
谁是阿曼达 Who's Amanda?
你搬进来之前 She's this girl who lived in the building
她也住我们那栋楼 before you did.
后来她搬去英国了 Then she moved to England
还学了假惺惺的英国口音 and picked up this fake British accent.
她在我留言机上的留言是这样的 On the machine, this is her message:
"莫妮卡 亲爱的 我是阿曼达" "Monica, darling, it's Amanda calling."
你这是要模仿英国口音 Are you trying to do a British accent?
钱德勒去美甲了 Chandler gets pedicures.
我只想知道 Just so I know,
我还要受多少次这种奚落 how many more of those can I expect?
你知道阿曼达跟我 Know what Amanda said
在电话上是怎么说的 when she called me?
"哦 很抱歉打你的手机" "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your mobile."
如果...如果你不想跟我在手机上说 If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile,
那就别打到我手机上 don't call me on my mo-Bile.
我知道 她还老是拿她碰到的 I know. And she always brags about
名人来吹牛 all the famous people she's met.
噢 我知道 Oh, I know!
"哦...我跟比利·乔尔睡觉了" "I slept with Billy Joel."
好吧 谁没睡过啊 All right, who hasn't?
我们该怎么办 What are we gonna do?
我不想见她 I don't wanna see her.
我们隔离了她 Let's just cut her out.
-什么 -把她从我们的生活里隔离 - What? - Cut her out of our lives.
不理她的电话 Just ignore her calls
躲开她直到她明白过来 and dodge her till she gets the point.
我觉得可以试试 Well, I guess we could try that.
不过...有点太苛刻了吧 But it seems so harsh.
你这么做过吗 Have you ever done that?
没 不过有人对我做过 No. Had it done to me, though.
感觉不错 Feels good.
盖勒先生 请走这边 All right, Mr. Geller, right this way.
那么你想要颜色多深呢 So how dark do you wanna be?
我们分一二三级 We have one, two or three.
我喜欢你的颜色 你是几级 Well, I like how you look. What are you?
我是波多黎各人 Puerto Rican.
二级 我想要二级 Two. I think a two.
你要面对着红灯 You'll face the red light.
红灯亮的时候 When the light's on,
喷淋开始 the spraying's about to start,
所以 闭上眼睛 so close your eyes.
喷淋停止的时候 数五下 When the spraying stops, count to five...
轻轻拍打自己防止出现液体流下的痕迹 ...pat yourself to avoid drip marks,
然后转身我们就可以喷你背后了 明白了 then turn to get your back. Got it?
喷 数 轻拍 然后转 Spray, count, pat and turn.
喷 数 轻拍 Spray, count and pat.
你掌握得真快 You catch on quick.
那当然 我是博士 所以... Well, I have a Ph.D., so...
一只绵羊 两只绵羊 三只绵... One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three--
等等... 我还没...我还没数完呢 Wait... I'm not--I'm not finished counting!
你喷了我正面两次 You sprayed my front twice!
你没转身吗 You never turned?
没有 我甚至还没数到三只绵羊呢 No! I barely got to "three Mississippi"!
绵羊 我是说数到五 Mississippi? I said count to five.
不要绵羊 Mississippi-less-ly?
好吧 那这有多糟糕 Well, how bad is it?
还没多糟 Not that bad yet.
不过随后四小时颜色会变得越来越深 But it gets darker for the next four hours.
那么 会变得多深 So how dark will it get?
你喷了两遍二级而且... You got sprayed with two twos and--
我是四级的了 I'm a four?
对 不过你背上是零级 Yeah, but your back's a zero.
你最好让它前后一样了 You'll wanna even that out.
是吧 Really?
你可能要再进去一次 You might wanna get back in there.
好吧 Oh, okay!
等等... Wait a minute,
后面墙上没有灯 there's no light on the back wall.
我怎么知道它什么时候开始 有人吗 How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello?
我的眼睛 My eyes!
同样的事情发生了 The same thing happened again!
-你又做了两次二级 -我是八级的了 - You got two more twos? - I'm an eight!
谢谢你的晚餐 Thanks for dinner.
我还以为是你付的钱呢 I thought you paid.
看来我们以后再也不会去那儿了 Guess we won't be going back there.
-那么... -好吧 - So... - Yeah.
我们到沙发上去 Hey, what do you say
你说怎么样 we move this onto the likes of the couch?
台词够烂 不过可以 I say cheesy line, but okay.
-怎么了 -我也不知道 对不起 - What's the matter? - I don't know. I'm sorry.
-我不知道为什么那么做 -好吧 - I don't know why I did that. - Okay.
真对不起 Sorry.
再一次 对不起 I'm sorry. Again,
我不知道我怎么了 I don't know what happened.
我一定是太紧张了 I must be nervous.
我搞不懂 钱德勒很喜欢的 I don't get it. Chandler loved it.
我保证... 我不会再这么做了 I promise. I won't do it again.
真的 这次会很完美的 I really do. This is gonna be great.
-好吧 -好吧 - Okay. - Okay.
你喜欢这样嘛 Was that good for you?
不 不 别接 让答录机接 No, don't get it. Let the machine pick up.
哦 对 可能又是瑞秋 Yeah, it could be Rachel
要我们帮她看孩子 asking if someone could babysit again.
-可能是阿曼达 -哦 对了 - It could be Amanda. - Oh, you're right.
我只是拿瑞秋开玩笑的 I was just kidding about Rachel.
看孩子很好玩 Babysitting's a gas.
莫妮卡 你好 是阿曼达又打来电话 Hello, Monica. It's Amanda calling again.
我就在附近 I'm in the neighborhood,
想到你家来坐坐 hoping I could pop by your flat.
你来自扬克斯 You're from Yonkers!
你姓布弗玛提滋 Your last name is Buffamonteezi!
看吧 如果你接到了留言 Let's see. So should you get this directly...
给我的手机回电话 ...ring me back on my mobile.
好了 切勿屏住尔的气息 Okay, don't hold thy breath.
喂 有人在打电话吗 Hello? Is someone on the line?
对 我在找莫妮卡 Yes. I was looking for Monica.
等等 她在这儿 Hang on, she's right here.
有人打电话 找你的 Someone's on the phone for you.
我们没接 是阿曼达 We weren't picking up. It's Amanda.
我做美甲了 I get pedicures.
嗨 阿曼达 Hi, Amanda.
实际上 现在不太合适 Actually, now is not a good time.
明天一起吃晚饭 Dinner tomorrow night?
好的 我和菲比都会到的 Okay, Phoebe and I will see you then.
为什么... 为什么你不拒绝 Why? Why? Why didn't you just say no?
我已经拒绝让她来了 Well, I said no to her coming over now.
我不能拒绝她两次 I couldn't say no twice.
我有种不由自主地取悦别人的需要 I got this uncontrollable need to please people.
好吧 好吧 一拷问你就坚持不住 Fine. Fine. You would not hold up well under torture.
-你能坚持 -我坚持过 - Oh, and you would? - I did.
-瑞秋 你确定你想吗 -当然 - Rach, are you sure you wanna do this? - Absolutely.
只是感觉有点奇怪 是你和我 It's just a little weird. It's you, and it's me.
-我们需要点时间来习惯 -好吧 - It'll just take some getting used to. - Okay.
我们怎么能让这个变得容易点 Okay, well, how can we make it easier?
好吧 让我们从上往下来 Okay. Let's work from the top down.
解开我的胸罩 乔伊 Just work the bra, Joe.
好的 呃 明白了 Okay, got it, yeah. Absolutely.
-好吧 -好吧 - Okay. - Okay.
-这玩意儿焊住了吗 -哦 - Is this thing welded shut? - Okay.
好了 转个身 All right, turn around.
我得看看这东西 I gotta get a look at this thing.
对不起 Sorry.
这真够浪漫的 Well, this is romantic.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这种事从来没有发生在我身上 This has never happened to me before.
我是解胸罩的专家 I'm an expert at taking off bras.
我一只手就能解开 I could do it with one hand.
我闭着眼睛也行 I could do it with my eyes closed.
有一次我只看了一眼 Once I just looked at one...
它自己就开了 ...and it popped open.
都怪你的胸罩 I blame your bra!
这是个标准型的胸罩搭扣 It's a standard issue bra clasp!
那就怪你 Then I blame you.
对 Yeah. That's right.
是你把我的天赋都打走了 You threw me off with all your slapping.
好吧 真的很抱歉 乔伊 Okay, look, I'm really sorry about that, Joey.
有没有可能是某些层面上 But do you think maybe, on some level,
你不想脱掉我的胸罩 you don't want to take off my bra?
我这人没有其它层面 No, I don't have another level.
等等 有点不对劲 Hold on. There's something different.
我去了你老婆推荐的地方 I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
你是去了太阳那 Was that place the sun?
比你看到的要糟 Oh, and it gets worse.
天呐 你一个人就能做 Oh, my God, you can do a duet of
史蒂文·旺德：歌曲《黑檀木和象牙》（二重唱） "Ebony and Ivory" all by yourself.
你怎么能搞成这样 How could you mess this up?
这很容易呀 It's so easy.
你进到小隔间里 You go in the booth,
数到五 转身 count to five and turn around.
你是怎么数到五的 How do you count to five?
一二三... One, two, three--
可恶 Damn it!
我知道 I know!
夏威夷热带小姐这是咋了 What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?
你和乔伊的约会怎么样 How was your date with Joey?
嗯 还不错... Well, it was good,
至少在我们回家之前 until we got back to our apartment.
后来我们瞎搞 And then we were fooling around
他把手放在我的腿上... and he started to put his hand up my leg...
可我却不停的打开它 ...and I kept slapping it away.
你不喜欢 You didn't like that?
不光是我 Well, it wasn't just me, all right?
他也吓坏了 He freaked out too.
他甚至解不开我的胸罩 He couldn't even undo my bra.
真的 有一次他只看了我胸罩一眼 Really? One time he just looked at my bra
它就自己开了 and it popped open.
我不知道我们怎么了 I do not know what's wrong with us.
我们以前接过吻 感觉很好啊 We've kissed before and that's been great.
可是这次 感觉不同 But this time it was leading somewhere...
我明白那是乔伊在抚摸我 ...and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
你们要永远做朋友了 You guys have been friends forever.
记得你第一次吻罗斯吗 The first time you kissed Ross,
那次多奇怪 how weird that was.
你不停地笑 You couldn't stop laughing.
可你也过了那个坎 You got through that.
对 是这样... Okay. That's true. That's true,
我们能行 we can do this.
对 对 我们能行 You're right. We can do this.
霸王硬上弓就好 We'll just power through.
钱德勒 我能跟你谈谈吗 Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
没必要了 问题解决了 No need, problem solved.
我们来硬的 We are powering through.
钱德勒 别看了 它不会自己崩开的 Chandler, stop. It's not going to pop open.
你怎么知道 You don't know.
-嗨 菲比 -嗨 - Hi, Phoebe. - Hey.
-阿曼达来了吗 -还没 - Is Amanda here yet? - No.
我很抱歉搞砸了 I'm sorry for screwing up
那个隔离她的计划 that "cutting her out" plan,
不过我有了个新计划 but I have a new plan.
钱德勒答应我几分钟以后 Chandler will call in a few minutes
给我打个紧急电话 with an emergency.
那什么紧急的事情 Okay, what kind of emergency
能把我们两个人都叫走呢 gets us both out of here?
你觉得迈克和钱德勒 What do you think of Mike and Chandler
出了车祸怎么样 being in a car accident?
-你开玩笑 我太喜欢了 -好 - Are you kidding? I love it! - Okay.
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
你好 Hello!
见到你们真好 It's so nice to see you.
你们两个 看看我 Both of you, look at me.
看我有多年轻 Look how young I look!
天呐 我们有太多的事情要分享了 Oh, gosh, we have so much to catch up on.
不过最首要的是摸摸我的腹肌 But first things first. Touch my abs.
我一点儿都没锻炼 I don't exercise at all.
天呐 莫妮卡 你结婚了 Oh, gosh. So, Monica, you're married.
对 他叫钱德勒而且... Yeah, his name is Chandler and he's--
闻闻我的脖子 Oh, smell my neck.
这不是香水 It's not perfume.
这是我 这是我自然的体香 It's me. It's my natural scent.
发霉了 Musty.
天呐 这太美好了 Gosh, this is brilliant.
天呐 就像以前一样 Gosh, it's just like old times.
真高兴看到你们俩又和好了 I'm so happy you two are friends again.
我们什么时候不是朋友了 When were we not friends?
是1992年 Well, it was 1992.
我记得是因为那年 And I remember, because that was the year
我和伊夫·肯尼上了床 I had sex with Evel Knievel.
1992年我们是朋友啊 We were friends in 1992.
不 我清楚地记得你当时在过滤她的电话 No, I distinctly remember you were dodging her calls...
还尽量不见她 ...and trying to avoid seeing her.
你在隔离我 You were going to cut me out?
呃...差不多吧 Well, kind of.
-噢 我的天 -噢 见鬼 - Oh, my God! - Oh, bugger.
我是不是不该说 Should I not have said that?
我觉得自己就像个饭桶 I feel like a perfect arse.
对 对 不过在美国你只是个蠢蛋 Well, in America, you're just an ass.
喂 Hello?
钱德勒 怎么了 Chandler, what's wrong?
天呐 你没事吧 Oh, my God, are you all right?
好的 我马上到 Yeah, I'll be right there.
对不起 钱德勒出车祸了 I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident.
-噢 我的天 -噢 - Oh, my God. - Yeah.
-迈克跟他一起吗 -没 - Was Mike with him? - Nope.
买了香槟了 Got the champagne?
是 女士 准备好硬上了 Yes. Ready to power through.
太棒了 Excellent.
把它放到冰桶里 Stick it in the ice bucket,
电话线已经拔了 the phone is off the hook...
为了能更好硬上 ...and, in the interest of powering through....
好了 性感点儿... Okay, sexy...
很性感 好了 我们开始 ...very sexy. Sexy. All right, let's do it!
好的 你有点儿吓到我了 Okay, you're scaring me a little bit.
别怕 大兵 我们要开始了 Get over it, soldier, we gotta do this.
-好的 你喜欢是不是 -哦 是的 - Okay. You like that, huh? - Oh, yeah.
你喜欢吗 我们开始换到高速档 You like that? Let's kick this into high gear, huh?
对 宝贝儿 我来告诉你我们怎么做 Yeah, baby! I'll show you how we do it!
不... No...
你顶到我的小弟弟上了 You kneed me in my misters!
什么 天呐 对不起 What? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
乔伊 你还好吗 Joey? Are you okay?
大兵牺牲了 Soldier down.
我们和菲比不再是朋友了 We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
要是她要求 我会稍稍拒绝 不过没问题 If she asks, I protested a little, but okay.
钱德勒 感谢上帝你还活着 Chandler, thank God you're alive.
莫妮卡 能和你到外面谈谈吗 Monica, can I talk to you outside?
我跟你没什么可说的 I have nothing to say to you.
哇 我的房子有这两个大 My flat is twice this size.
求你了 莫妮卡 去走廊 Please, Monica, in the hall?
那场车祸一定很糟糕 Oh, that accident must have been terrible.
你看着跟死人一样 You look positively ghastly.
你看起来太治愈了 Well, aren't you a treat.
我真不敢相信你要隔离我 I can't believe you tried to cut me out.
为什么菲比 为什么 Why, Phoebe? Why?
那是在我们住在一起以后 It was right after we were living together...
你快要把我逼疯了 知道吗 ...and you were driving me crazy, okay?
你什么都要控制 You were really controlling
强迫 还嗓门很高 and compulsive and shrill.
我现在仍然这样 Well, I'm still all those things!
你现在还很慷慨 You're also so generous
善良 斗志旺盛 and kind and scrappy.
我确实斗志旺盛 I am scrappy.
是啊 无论我要做什么 Exactly. No matter what I tried to do,
我都不能把你从生活中剔除 I couldn't keep you out of my life.
在我隔离的所有人中 Of all the people I've cut out...
你是唯一一个 ...you were the only one
自己找路又爬回来的 who ever clawed her way back in.
因为我斗志旺盛 That's because I'm scrappy.
对 是的 Yeah, you are,
而且我也很高兴 and I'm so glad
你通过斗争又回来了 that you fought your way back in...
因为我不知道没有你该怎么办 ...because I don't know what I would do without you.
我也不知道没有你该怎么办 I don't know what I would do without you.
我想我们该回去了 Well, I guess we should go back in.
既然你又给了我一次机会 I mean, you gave me another chance.
我们应该也给阿曼达一个机会 We should do the same for Amanda.
对 你说得对 Yeah, I guess you're right.
你能相信吗 Can you believe it?
我从来没有受过专业舞蹈训练 I've never had any professional dance training.
现在我来给你解释是怎么工作的 Now, let me explain how this works.
你走进隔间 然后... You go into the booth and--
就说到这儿吧 葛兰达 好吗 I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay?
我看起来像是第一次吗 Does it look like this is my first time?
我现在想要四个二级 Now, I want four two's,
而且我想都喷到背上 and I want them all on my back.
好吧 Okay.
等等 这儿有两套喷嘴儿 Wait. There's two sets of nozzles!
应该用哪一个 哪个...哪个才是 Which one is it? Which one is it?
混蛋 Oh, son of a bitch!
我们到底哪出问题了 What is the matter with us?
我知道我哪出问题了 Well, I know what's the matter with me.
不 我是说我们 No, I mean with us, you know?
我是说 真的应该这么... I mean, is it supposed to be this...
难吗 ...difficult?
我不知道 I don't know.
那个假英国腔的女人真是个婊子 That fake British woman's a real bitch,
可她真的很能跳 but she sure can dance.
-嗨 -嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
听着 能问你个问题吗 Hey, listen, can I ask you a question?
你和莫妮卡刚好上的时候 When you and Monica first hooked up...
超越朋友关系 感觉奇怪吗 ...was it weird going from friends to more than that?
有点 Kind of.
到处躲藏 跟你们玩捉迷藏... Sneaking around, having to hide from you guys--
不... 不是 我是说... No, no, no. No, I mean...
性方面... ...sexually.
是不是你们俩某方面感觉... Yeah, was there a part of you that felt like it was...
这么做不对 ...really wrong?
实际上 不是 没有 感觉很好 Actually, no. No, it felt right, you know?
感觉就像 If felt like,
真不敢相信我们居然 "l can't believe we haven't been doing this
早没这么做 the whole time."
从你们的表情看 I can tell from your expressions
我的话对于你们来说是好消息 that's the good news you were hoping for.
好吧 Well,
我想我要去继续传播快乐了 I'm gonna go continue to spread the joy.
他们的反应是那样的 Just because it happened that way for them
不见得我们也要那样 doesn't mean it has to for us.
对... 当然 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
我是说 事情困难 I mean, just because something's difficult
并不意味着你要退却 doesn't mean that you quit.
-绝对啊 -好吧 - Right, totally. - Yeah. And so...
那我们会不停地试啊... ...we'll just keep trying and trying
直到我们成功 until we do it.
对 如果不行的话 我们就会 If not, we'll just be
成为另一对没有性爱的夫妇 a couple that never has sex.
就这么计划了 That's a plan.
-真没相到会有这种事情发生 -我懂 - I did not see this coming. - I know.
那我就不明白了 I don't know, I don't get it.
我很确定想要这么做啊 I mean, I was so sure this is what I wanted.
我也是 Me too.
为什么莫妮卡和钱德勒就能做到 Well, how come Monica and Chandler could do it?
我想或许他们 I guess they weren't
不像我们的友谊这么深吧 as good friends as we are.
我想你肯定是对的 I bet you're right.
那么... So...
好吧 Yeah.
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 Love you too.
-好了 我要去睡觉了 -好 我也是 - All right, I'm going to bed. - Yeah, me too.
暂时我还去不了任何地方 Yeah. I'm not going anywhere for a while.
伙计 是钱德勒 让我进来 Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.
走开 Go away!
我谁都不想见 I don't wanna see anybody!
我也去了那个地方 I know, I went to the tanning place
同样的事也发生在我身上了 and the same thing happened to me.
让我进来 You have to let me in.
真的 Really?
你也数了小绵羊 Did you count Mississippi-ly?
你没去晒 You're not tan.
没 我只是来拍张照 No. I just had to get a picture of this.
再见 I'll see you later.