《绝望主妇》前情提要 Previously on Desperate Housewives...
有人言语暧昧 There was flirtation.
这是我名片 发现可疑情况 Here's my card. If you see anything suspicious,
希望你打电话给我 I want you to call me...
即使没有可疑情况你也可以打 or even if you don't.
有人直言不讳 There was confrontation.
这么多年来我一直支持着你 After all those years that I supported you,
力挺你的事业 而你却不能为我这么做 took a backseat to your career, you couldn't do the same for me.
有人大发雷霆 Oh! Aah! There was a fight.
别管我 Leave me alone!
并终酿苦果 And... there were consequences.
苏珊·德尔非诺仁慈过头 Susan Delfino was charitable to a fault.
她就是忍不住伸出援手 She just couldn't resist lending a hand.
她没法无视迷路的宠物 There wasn't a lost pet she could ignore...
无法拒绝身着校服的小女孩 A girl in uniform she could refuse...
无法对困窘的艺人说不 Or a struggling artist she could say no to.
所以当她的邻居陷入困境时... So when it came to a neighbor in need...
天呐 保罗 出什么事了 Oh, my god. Paul, what happened?
苏珊只会急切给予帮助 Susan was only too eager to help.
开始是我胸口疼 I started having chest pains,
然后晕了过去 醒来就打了急救电话 passed out, came to, dialed 9-1-1.
我一整晚都在做检查 They've been running tests all night.
在查清病因之前 我会一直陪着你的 Well, I'm gonna be here for you till they figure it out.
我给你带了杂志和水 I brought you these-- magazines, water.
你真是难以置信 You're unbelievable.
一条整条街的邻居 I've got a street full of neighbors,
唯一来看我的 是被我吼过的女人 and the only one who comes to see me is the woman I yelled at.
-真的很抱歉 -是我的错 - Sorry about that. - It was my fault.
我不应该问你要回我的房子 I shouldn't have asked you about getting my house back.
听上去太贪得无厌了 I sounded like a vulture.
杨先生 你的检查结果出来了 Mr... Young, we've got your test results.
能回避一下吗 苏珊 Could you excuse us for a moment, Susan?
好的 我在外面等你 Oh, yeah. I'll wait outside.
好消息 你的心电图恢复正常了 Well, good news. Your E.K.G. came back normal.
-那么不是心脏病了 -不是心脏病 - So it's not a heart attack? - It's not a heart attack.
你的症状有头晕 Says here you've been experiencing dizziness,
反胃 胃痉挛的症状 nausea, stomach cramps.
是的 你觉得是怎么回事 That's right. What do you think it is?
我认为除非你是被下毒 I think unless you've been poisoned
或是怀孕了 否则应该只是压力所致 or you're pregnant, it's probably just stress.
被下毒 Poisoned?
是的 记得我实习时碰到过一个病例 Yeah. I remember this case when I was an intern.
有个男人和你的症状一样 A man came in with the same symptoms.
原来是他妻子在他的麦片里放了防冻剂 Turns out his wife was putting antifreeze in his oatmeal.
每天吃一点 完全看不出来 Little bit every day so it wasn't obvious.
但最后还是把他害死了 But eventually, it killed him.
给我们上了宝贵的一课 别惹老女人 Good lesson for all of us-- don't piss off the old lady.
医生怎么说的 What did he say?
他认为是压力所致 He thinks it's stress.
只是压力吗 Just stress?
那就放心了 你一定饿坏了 That's a relief. So you must be starving.
今天晚餐给你做点什么呢 What can I make you for dinner tonight?
没错 苏珊·德尔非诺就是无法 Yes, Susan Delfino just couldn't resist
置陷入困境的邻居于不顾 lending a hand to a neighbor in trouble.
我肯定无论你做什么 I'm sure anything you bring
对我都是莫大的帮助 will be a huge help to me.
而这将令她惹祸上身 ...which was about to cause her some trouble of her own.
绝望的主妇 第七季 第二十一集 Desperate Housewives S07 E21
无论我们多么倍感安心 No matter how secure we are,
我们都有害怕的一刻 we all experience moments of dread.
也许是在我们拆开信用卡账单之时 It may be just before we open our credit card bill...
或是转交老师的告状信之时 or hand over a note from our teacher...
或是荒废健身一周后站上体重秤之时 or step on the scale after a week away from the gym.
是的 我们都有过害怕的时刻 Yes, we all experience moments of dread,
而有时 And sometimes
我们怨不得别人 we have no one to blame...
完全是咎由自取 but ourselves.
我回来啦 我的孩子... Daddy's home. How are my--
《血染陌客2》 她不能看这个 "Bloody stranger two"? She can't watch this!
不要 爸爸 Daddy, no!
这是讲一个陌生人跑到城里 Look, this is about some... stranger who comes to town
谋杀放荡的青少年的故事 and starts murdering slutty teenagers!
等她再大一点 这是不错的一课 Yeah. It's a good lesson for when she's older.
不要成为放荡的青少年 Don't be a slutty teenager.
加布 这种教育方式太暴力了 Gaby, this is way too violent.
这孩子对暴力早就习以为常了 Oh, the kid's used to violence.
你也见过我逼迫她吃胡萝卜的情景了 You've seen me make her eat carrots.
再说胡安妮塔知道电影都是假的 Besides, Juanita knows the movie's fake.
是吧 亲爱的 Right, honey?
当然 在现实生活中 Duh. There's no way one speargun
捕鱼枪不可能射穿三个人的脑袋 could shoot through three heads in real life.
没错 也许只能射穿两个 Exactly. Two, maybe.
也许吧 Maybe.
卡洛斯 别那么紧张 Oh, Carlos, relax.
胡安妮塔很勇敢的 她不会有事的 Juanita's tough. She'll be fine.
他在外面 Aah! He's out there!
冷静点 亲爱的 谁在外面 Oh! Calm down, sweetie. Who's out there?
染血陌客 The bloody stranger.
他站在咱家花园里 看着我们家 He was standing on our lawn looking at our house.
染血陌客 非常好 The bloody stranger. Nice.
亲爱的 我们不是聊过了 记得吗 No, honey, we talked about this, remember?
那些都是假的 How it was all pretend?
我能和你们一起睡吗 Can I sleep in here with you guys?
你可以跟她睡 我去睡你的床 You can sleep with her. I'm gonna sleep in your bed.
西利娅睡在我床上 Celia's in my bed.
那我去睡西利娅的床 Then I'll sleep in Celia's bed.
她把床尿湿了 She wet her bed.
上来吧 Come on in.
-好啊 -好啊 - Hey! - Hey!
瞧瞧谁回来吃晚餐了 Look who's home in time for dinner!
是啊 我不能错过意大利面之夜 Yeah, well, I couldn't miss spaghetti night.
意大利面之夜是星期二 老爸 Spaghetti night's Tuesday, dad.
你赶上了玉米卷之夜 You made it home for taco night.
玉米卷之夜 我的妈呀 Taco night? Ay, caramba!
不是 我开玩笑呢 Hey--no. I'm kidding. Mwah.
你们的妈妈做了美味的晚餐 Hey, your mom made a lovely dinner,
那我起码要献上餐后甜点 so the least that I could do was bring home dessert.
-飞机票 -是的 - Plane tickets? - That's right.
-我计划今年全家旅行 -什么 - I planned the family vacation this year. - You did what?
入住皇家凯卢阿水疗度假中心 Seven days, six nights
六晚七天 at the Royal Kailua Spa and Resort
夏威夷游 in... Hawaii.
-好样的 老兄 -我从未去过 - Well done, Sir! - I've never been there!
你没跟我商量就买了机票 You bought the tickets without talking to me first?
居然不说 Okay. Not exactly
"汤姆 你是世界上最棒的丈夫" "Wow, Tom, you're the greatest husband in the world."
但我告诉过你 我己经计划好了我们的假期 But I told you, I already planned our vacation,
16年来都是我计划的 just like I've been doing for the last 16 years.
那你更应该休息休息了 Well, there you go. You deserve a year off.
你们就等着看 Wait until you see
-这个地方的游泳池吧 -酷 - the waterslides at this place. - Cool!
是啊 是啊 很酷 我花了两周 Yeah. Yeah, cool. Except I just spent two weeks
制定野营路线 mapping out a route for a camping trip,
-我还付了房车的定金 -那定金我们不要了 - And I put a deposit down on an R.V. - Okay, so we eat the deposit.
真希望现在就出发 Wish I could eat it right now.
我还告诉我姐姐我们会顺道拜访 And I told my sister we'd stop by and visit on the way.
我们从夏威夷回来 We get back from Hawaii,
给她买机票来这里看我们 we fly her out to see us here--
问题解决了 Boom! Problem solved.
你还是不说 And yet still no
"你是世界上最棒的老公" "You're the greatest husband in the world"?
天啊 Oh, my god.
头等舱 First class?
你是世界上最棒的老公 You are the greatest husband in the world!
天啊 我们要去夏威夷啦 Aah! Oh, my god! We're going to Hawaii! Aah!
是的 太幸运了 Yes! So lucky! Ohh.
太好了 Yeah.
夏威夷 Hawaii.
霍布斯校长 Principal Hobson!
霍布斯校长 Principal Hobson?
霍布斯校长 Principal Hobson!
苏珊 见到你真高兴 Uh--Susan! Hey! Great to see you!
你收到我的邮件了吗 Did you get my e-mails?
我给你发了得有十封 I sent you, like, ten.
邮件 没有 E-mails? No.
-在第一封里 -好吧 我收到了 - Oh. Well, in the first one-- - All right. I got them.
我会很高兴能让你回来工作 And I would be glad to give you your job back,
但恐怕这事得黄了 But I'm afraid it just isn't gonna happen.
为什么不行 Why not?
苏珊 这样的结果你很意外吗 Susan, you can't be surprised that there are consequences
你穿着紫色内衣拿着鸡毛掸子 when you show up on the internet holding a feather duster
在网络上露面影响太坏了 and wearing a purple bra?
你描述的真够详细 That was very specific.
我必须要亲自核实以免... Well, I-I had to verify the claims in order to--
我的意思是 事已至此 My point is, the damage was done.
我知道 我犯了错 I know. I made a mistake.
但我觉得应该再给我次机会 But I feel like I deserve a second chance.
如果由我说了算 我会给你机会 If it were up to me, I would give you that chance.
但你了解私立学校 But you know private schools.
家长委员会才握有实权 The parents' council has all the power.
如果我能说服他们 So... if I were to win them over...
这倒是个好的开始 Well, it would be a start.
谢谢你 我就先这么干 Thank you. I'll take it from here.
我保证 Oh, and I promise,
不会再有鸡毛掸子 紫色内衣 no feather duster, no purple bra.
也不要黑色紧身胸衣 And no black bustier.
和你谈话很愉快 Nice talking to you.
万斯侦探 我刚要出去 Oh, detective Vance. I was just, um, heading out.
我不会耽搁你 I won't keep you.
我只是顺道过来再给你张名片 I just stopped by to give you another card,
弥补你丢的那张 to replace the one you lost.
你怎么认为我丢了 What makes you think I lost it?
我两天前给你的 你却没给我打过电话 I gave it to you two days ago. You never called me,
所以我估计你是丢了 So I'm assuming you lost it.
没有 我没丢 No. I didn't.
这样礼貌吗 Now, is that nice?
你明明可以婉转一点 让我下个台阶 I give you a graceful way to spare my feelings,
而你却要用真相打击我 and you clobber me with facts.
你确信你没丢 You sure you didn't lose it?
非常确信 事实上 它就在我钱包里 Quite sure. In fact, it's right here in my purse.
你没扔了它 You didn't throw it away.
说明你还是会考虑打电话 That must mean you were thinking of calling.
这是我第二次尝试 我不会再约你了 This is my second try. I can't ask you again.
-这是最后通牒吗 -这是在求爱 - Is that an ultimatum? - It's a fact of courtship--
两次是可贵的坚持不懈 Twice is charmingly persistent.
再不答应我就要跟踪你了 Once more and I'm stalking you.
-你在向我求爱 -我正在努力 - So you're courting me? - I'm trying to.
你什么时候才能不再欲擒故纵 When will you stop playing hard to get?
也许等你不再不择手段来追吧 Maybe when you stop playing hard to want.
瞧瞧你有多享受各应我啊 You see how much you enjoy smacking me down?
为何要拒绝一个可以各应我整晚的机会呢 Why pass up a chance to do it all night?
来吧 就一顿饭的事 Come on. One dinner.
好吧 这周四 晚上8点 Fine. This Thursday, 8:00 P.M.
太好了 回见 Great. See you then.
我还以为你是要出去 I thought you were heading out.
是的 Right.
你想让我检验金枪鱼面条炖菜 You... want me to test a tuna noodle casserole?
有问题吗 Is that a problem?
通常我们检验的都是 Well, normally we test stuff
土壤样品和地下水 like soil samples and ground water,
不过当然 我做的了 你要找什么 But sure, I can do it. What are you looking for?
防冻剂 Antifreeze.
你今晚干嘛 Hey. What are you doing tonight?
我有朋友在一家爵士俱乐部玩 A friend of mine's playing at a jazz club.
谢谢 雷尼 但我有约会 Oh, thanks, Renee, but I have a date.
如果你不想来 就直说 If you don't want to come, just say so.
不必捏造此事 You don't have to make stuff up.
没有 我真的有约会 No! I really do have a date.
-就那么难以相信吗 -有点 - Is that so hard to believe? - Uh, slightly.
他是谁 So who is he?
他是个侦探 叫查克 He's a detective. His name is Chuck.
查克·万斯 Chuck Vance.
接着说 我要听详情 Well, don't stop. I want to hear it all.
事实上 我就知道这些 Actually, that's all I know.
就这些 你就答应和他出去了 That's it? And you agreed to go out with him?
我从来不约 I never date a guy
没做过详细背景调查的男人 until I've done a complete background check.
-也许我应该网上搜下他 -外行 - Maybe I should just google him. - Amateur.
告诉我他的名字 Give me his name
我会找出一切有价值的真相 and I will find out everything worth knowing--
婚姻史 资产净值 marital history, net worth,
他最后一次体检的结果 results of his last physical.
体检就有点过分了 The physical seems excessive.
我以前也这么觉得 That's what I thought
直到我跟一个不举的后卫住了一周 till I spent a weekend pinned under a dead linebacker.
你为什么让她看 Why would you let her watch
一个叫《嗜血陌客2》的节目 something called "Bloody stranger two"?
我知道 我知道 I know, I know.
我就是个傻瓜 现在她做了恶梦 I'm an idiot. Now she's having nightmares
每天晚上都钻进我们的被窝里 and crawling into our bed every night.
当我是小孩子时 我做过的恶梦 When I was a kid, I had bad dreams
你肯定不会相信 从床上跳下来 like you wouldn't believe-- jumping-out-of-bed,
跑到大厅里尖叫 这样的梦 running-down-the-hall-screaming kind of dreams.
那你是怎么做的 So what'd you do?
我长大了就好了 Guess I outgrew 'em.
是吗 You did?
胡安妮塔 过来 Juanita, come here!
你要干嘛 What are you doing?
我想你可以和她谈谈心 I figured you could talk to her.
说说你们同性恋最爱唠叨的 You know, give her one of those "It gets better" speeches
"会好起来的"之类的话 you gays love so much.
亲爱的 李想跟你谈谈 Sweetie, Lee wants to talk to you.
你妈说你一直做噩梦 So your mom says you've been having nightmares.
你都梦到了什么 What are they about?
我梦到一个吓人的人站在我家草坪上 I see this creepy guy standing on our lawn.
可怜的小家伙 Oh, you poor thing.
在我小的时候 You know, when I was little,
也常做噩梦 I had nightmares, too.
-真的吗 -对啊 - Really? - Yeah.
我哥哥告诉我在市郊有一家医院 My brother told me that there was a hospital
专治有犯罪倾向的神经病 for the criminally insane on the outskirts of town.
而在晚上 里面的人会跑出来 And at night, the inmates would escape
绑架男孩和女孩 and kidnap little boys and girls.
但这不是真的 But it's not real.
他哥哥只是想吓唬他 His brother was just trying to scare him.
不 绝对是真的 Oh, no. It was totally real.
有一年夏天 三个孩子失踪了 One summer, three kids went missing.
-但后来找到了 -是的 - Until they found them... - Right.
一个月后在一个山谷里找到了 About a month later... in a ravine.
生龙活虎的 Alive!
才不 No.
动动脑子嘛 在山谷里诶 Come on. They were in a ravine.
山谷里能有什么好事 What good ever comes out of a ravine?
你这是干嘛呢 What the hell was that?
我只是告诉她没什么好怕的 I'm just showing her there's nothing to be frightened of.
我的故事比她的更吓人 My story's way scarier than hers.
好了 辛迪负责装饰品 Okay. So Cindy's in charge of decorations,
艾比 你负责音乐 Abby, you're handling music...
抱歉 不好意思 你继续讲 Oh, sorry. Sorry. Don't let me interrupt.
苏珊 你来这干嘛 Susan, what are you doing here?
我听说你们在筹办学校开放日 I heard you guys were planning an open house night,
我也想出一份力 需要我做什么 and I'd love to pitch in. How can I help?
我想想 你的清扫能力闻名遐迩啊 Let's see. You're legendary for your cleaning abilities.
那个我没做多久 That didn't take long.
你们需要什么茶点吗 Do you need any refreshments?
我可以做点吃的 I could make something.
谢谢 要是我们有什么需要 Thanks, but if we need any help,
会再打给你的 we'll call you.
还是99美分一分钟吗 Is it still 99 cents a minute?
好吧 Okay, uh...
看来这事需要讲讲清楚 Looks like we should just get this out there.
我的家庭这一年过得很不好 My family had a really crappy year.
我也做了些不值一提的事 Uh, I did some things that I am not proud of.
但我在学校时 绝对是一名好老师 But I was a damn good teacher when I was at this school.
所以我希望你们最终能 And I was hoping that you ladies might eventually
支持我回来教书 support hiring me back.
你又想来这教书吗 You want to teach here again?
我想家长委员会 I think the parents' council
对此会有很大争议 might have a big problem with that.
我并不求你们原谅我 Look, I-I'm not asking for your forgiveness--
只要一个赢取宽恕的机会 Just a chance to earn it.
让我也为开放日出一份力 Let me do something for open house.
我真的想帮帮忙 I really do wanna help.
那好 你来收拾彩带如何 Okay. How about you pick up the streamers?
彩带 Streamers?
如果你能胜任的话 If you can handle it.
当心别和流苏弄混了 Just be careful not to confuse them with tassels.
休会 Meeting adjourned.
我就不应该看这个 I shouldn't even look at this.
这就像是非法入侵一样 It feels like such an intrusion.
而且 他随时都会出现 And besides, he'll be here any minute.
那我真是来得太及时了 Then I'm just in the nick of time.
你发现了什么丑事吗 You found something bad?
对我来说 Well, for me,
光看到他的薪水 his salary alone
我就不想再多看他一眼了 makes him a non-starter.
不过你应该对第三页的东西更感兴趣 But you may be more interested in what's on page three.
他是个下流的警察 Is he a dirty cop?
或是个民主党 Or a democrat?
更糟 Worse.
你好 查克 Hello, Chuck.
我还怕我来早了 不过 I was afraid I was early, but, uh...
显然你已经整装待发了 looks like you're all ready.
当然 我们走吧 Oh, I'm ready, all right. Shall we?
希望这里合你的意 Hope this is okay.
你喜欢意大利菜吧 You like Italian, right?
人人都爱意大利菜 Everybody likes Italian.
蛮好的 Oh, it's fine.
下面让我们交交心 So let's talk.
说说你自己吧 说详细点 Tell me about yourself. Tell me everything.
行啊 你想知道什么 Okay, what do you want to know?
只要是你觉得相关的 都行 Oh, whatever you think is, hmm... pertinent.
好吧 我出生在宾州 Okay. Um, I was born in Pennsylvania.
我在大学经常打球 I played some ball in college.
我还拿到了犯罪学学位 Um, I have a degree-- criminology.
真好 Interesting.
还有吗 Anything else?
我有两个孩子 Well, I have two kids.
那你结过婚咯 Oh. So you've been married.
是啊 失败的婚姻 Yeah. Didn't work out.
希望你别因此而看扁我 I hope you don't judge me for that.
不 不会的 Oh, no. Not for that.
有什么问题吗 布里 Is something wrong, Bree?
我就想知道你打算什么时候告诉我 I'm just wondering when you were going to tell me
你还没有离婚 that you're still married.
看来你还做了背景调查 I see you've done due diligence.
你的材料上有没有提到 Did your source happen to mention
去年春天我申请过离婚 that I filed for divorce last spring?
结果没被通过 And that it hasn't gone through,
所以严格地说 你仍是已婚 So technically, you're still married.
你早该告诉我的 You should have told me.
我们都还没点单 We haven't even ordered yet.
我希望我用这话开头吗 You expect me to lead with that?
"我还没有离婚 "Hey, I'm technically married.
"鸡肉看起来很诱人" "The chicken looks good."
你应该在离婚之后再约我的 You shouldn't be dating at all until your divorce is final.
要是你和你老婆又和好了呢 What if you and your wife reconcile?
一年来 只要我律师不在场 I haven't spoken to my wife
我就从没跟我老婆说过话 in a year without my lawyer present.
你不能因为一个简单的背景调查而怪我 You can't blame me for doing a simple background check.
当然不会 Hell, no.
我肯定你是想避免重蹈覆辙吧 I'm sure you want to avoid another mistake
比如你的第二任丈夫 like your second husband,
那个肇事逃逸者 the hit-and-run driver.
奥森 是吧 Orson, was it?
什么 What?
告诉我谁更吓人一点 Tell me, who was creepier--
是他还是那个 him or that pharmacist
在你们恋爱时自杀的药剂师 who killed himself while you were dating?
你从哪听来的 Where did you hear that?
我看过你的警局档案 I pulled your police file.
我还有个档案吗 I have a file?
你竟然看了 And you pulled it.
你竟敢还没有约会就调查我 How dare you investigate me before our date!
再说一次 听听看有多讽刺 Say that again, and this time, listen for the irony.
我的所作所为没什么见不得人的 There is no comparison to what I did.
你可能是个危险人物 我得保护自己 You could have been dangerous! I have to protect myself.
女人也可能是危险分子 Oh, women can be dangerous, too,
尤其是那些有四把手枪外加 Especially ones who own four handguns
一把点30-06口径猎枪的女人 and a .30-06 hunting rifle.
你用这么多枪干什么 What's up with that?
你太无礼了 This is outrageous.
你现在像在审犯人一样审我 You are treating me like a common criminal!
你们要点什么菜 What can I get you folks to start?
我不要点菜 我要马上回家 I will not be ordering. I want to go home now.
拜托 布里 冷静点 来杯酒 Come on, Bree. Calm down. Have a drink.
我不喝酒 我档案里不是有吗 I don't drink. Wasn't that in my file?
有人疏忽啦 Someone's slipping.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
你觉得呢 Hmm? What do you think I'm doing?
我觉得你在浪费时间 I think you're wasting your time,
就像我浪费时间计划今年的假期一样 much as I did when I planned this year's vacation.
我们应该先商量下的 We should have discussed this.
我想给你个惊喜 I wanted to surprise you.
我可没觉得惊喜 我有些措手不及 I wasn't surprised. I was blindsided.
可能在职场上你呼风唤雨 You may call all the shots at work,
但在家里 你可不是首席财务官 but you're not the C.F.O. Of this family.
你说的没错 You're right.
你计划的自驾游性价比很高 For what it's worth, your road trip sounds amazing.
但我觉得今年夏天先别实行这个计划 I just don't think it's gonna pan out for this summer.
但你为明年的假期开了个好头 But you made a hell of a great start for next year's trip.
不要对我用那套管理的鬼把戏 Don't pull that management trick on me.
-什么把戏 -戴高帽那一套 - What trick? - The "Yes" Sandwich.
先恭维一番 降低对方心理防线 Start with a compliment, lower the boom,
最后再恭维一番 这在商界再老套不过了 end with a compliment. It's the oldest trick in business,
这还是我教你的 And I taught it to you.
勒奈特 我已经答应孩子们去夏威夷了 Lynette,I already promised Hawaii to the kids.
你想我食言吗 You want me to take it away?
你也看到他们有多兴奋了 You saw how excited they were.
这只是因为他们从未有过奢华游 Only because they've never had a lavish vacation before.
给我同样的预算 我的旅行 Give me the same budget, and I'll make my trip
会比你的好两倍 sound twice as good as yours.
我倒想看看你有什么本事 Oh, I would love to see you try.
那好 开战 Okay, then. Game on.
我们让孩子们坐下来 We'll, um, we'll sit the kids down,
我们各自做个介绍 让他们来决定 We'll each make our presentation. Let them decide.
我觉得可以 开战 Sounds fair to me. Game on.
好的 开战 Okay. Game on.
亲爱的 Honey.
我没那兴致 你是个帅哥[勒奈特反攻了] I'm not turned on. You're a very handsome man.
我们不做爱 We're not gonna have sex.
那是拒绝的戴高帽把戏 That's a "No" Sandwich.
告诉我实话 布里 我还有机会 Level with me, Bree. Do I
-和你约会吗 -没有 - still have a chance with you? - None whatsoever.
那这样也不会雪上加霜了 Then this can't make things any worse.
没错 继续开 伙计 That's right. Keep driving, buddy.
-为什么这么做 -上车 瓦莱特 - Why'd you do that? - Get in, Violet.
我的天 你就不能先把我放下 Oh, my god. You couldn't have dropped me off
再招妓吗 before you pick up a prostitute?
你要逮捕我吗 查克 You arresting me, Chuck?
我只是要载你去妇女避难所而已 Just taking you to the women's shelter.
这算什么 你今晚大发善心吗 So what is this, your good deed for the night?
你要讨好你的女伴吗 You trying to impress your date?
不 我和她没戏 她比你更讨厌我 No. That ship has sailed. She hates me more than you do.
为什么 他怎么不好了 Why? What's wrong with him?
就这么说吧 我的看法与你无关 小姐 Let's just say my opinion isn't any of your concern, miss.
不和她在一起就对了 查克 You're better off without her, Chuck.
这人还真龟毛 This one's got a stick up her ass.
你凭什么对才认识的人 And what qualifies you to make such snap judgments
冒昧地下这种定义 about people you've just met?
我是个妓女 我就是吃这口饭的 I'm a hooker. It's what I do.
我们到了 我会看着你走进去的 Here we are, and I'm watching to make sure you go in.
你知道的 我明天又会回到那个街角的 You know I'm just gonna be back on that corner tomorrow.
好吧 明天的事 明天再说 Yeah, well, that's tomorrow's problem.
你到底什么时候才会放弃啊 When are you gonna give up?
我现在什么样 以后也不会变样 What I am now... that's all I'm ever gonna be.
你这么觉得吗 You think so?
你知道吗 十年前 Did you know that ten years ago,
布里和你一样在街上拉客 Bree here was turning tricks just like you?
你太无礼了 How dare you.
布里 她得听听这个故事 Bree, she needs to hear this.
我差不多抓了她五十次 I must have hauled her ass in 50 times.
有一天 她说"我不能再糟蹋自己了" Then one day, she said, "I'm better than this."
她去上了学 She got herself to school.
一晃眼 她拥有了一流的餐饮公司 Before you knew it, she had a first class catering company,
所以 不要告诉我 so don't try to tell me
你不能为自己创造更好的生活 that you can't make a better life for yourself.
你真的在街上拉过客吗 You were really on the street?
实际上 我... Actually, I...
我不想谈论那段不光彩的过去 I don't like to talk about that part of my life.
我懂的 I get it.
看看你现在 Look at you now, huh?
真的很高兴见到你 It was really nice to meet you.
同感 Likewise.
谢谢你 查克 Thank you, Chuck.
小事一桩 不足挂齿 Don't mention it.
我知道 我做的太过了 I know. Way outta line.
你说我没机会了 所以我想 管它呢 You said I had no chance, so I figured, what the hell.
回家吗 Home?
是的 麻烦你了 Yes, please.
你说的没错 我发现里面有防冻剂 You were right. Found trace amounts of antifreeze,
不用担心 不会致死的 but don't worry. Wouldn't have killed you.
如果我每天都吃 What would happen
这些焙盘菜 会怎样 if I ate one of these casseroles every day?
没什么 你会吃腻掉金枪鱼焙盘菜 Well, for one thing, you'd get tired of tuna casserole.
如果你反复进食乙二醇 Ahem. If you repeatedly consumed ethylene glycol,
你的心脏会开始衰竭 your heart would start to fail,
你的肾脏会耗竭 最后你会死 your kidneys would give out. Eventually, you'd die.
这种死法是很痛苦的 It'd be a nasty way to go.
我只能凭想象 I can only imagine.
你在干什么呢 What are you doing?
我以为我向勒奈特借的是个帐篷 I thought I was borrowing Lynette's tent.
现在发现我借的是个尼龙裹尸包 Turns out I borrowed a nylon bag of death.
你为什么要搭帐篷 Why are you setting up the tent?
给胡安妮塔的 我要证明给她看 For Juanita. I wanna prove to her
外面根本没有什么吓人的家伙 there's no scary guy on the lawn.
我想只要她能在外面露营一个晚上 I figured if she spends the night camping out here,
就会克服心理障碍的 she'll get over it.
所以说 孩子害怕 So the kid is scared
屋外有潜伏的凶手 there's a killer lurking outside at night,
而你的解决方法是让她独自在外面过夜 and your solution is to make her sleep out here?
不是独自 你个笨蛋 你陪她一起 Not alone, you dope. You'll be with her.
我 Me?
是的 万一她是对的怎么办 Yeah. What if she's right?
如果真有杀手呢 或者天气很冷怎么办 What if there is a killer... or it's cold?
别扯了 Oh. Forget it.
我明天一早还要开会 要是睡在草坪上 I got an early meeting tomorrow, and I'm not going in half asleep
会睡不踏实的 because I slept on my lawn.
你惹的麻烦 今晚自己解决 You caused this problem. You fix it, tonight.
别板着个脸 露宿街头多有趣啊 And stop pouting. It's fun to sleep outside.
当然有趣了 I'm sure it is.
要不那些流浪汉怎么总是神采飞扬的 That must be why the homeless are always so cheery!
请进 Come in.
经过这次约会 或者算不上约会 After our date-- or rather, non-date--
我有点困惑 I was very confused.
彼此彼此 Makes two of us.
当你没告诉我你婚姻的实情时 I was... offended when you didn't tell me the truth
我很生气 但你跟一个陌生人说 about your marriage and oddly touched
我以前是妓女的时候 when you told a complete stranger
我又有些莫名的感动 I was a whore.
如果你偏爱这口 Well, if you like that,
那情人节你就瞧好吧 you should wait till Valentine's Day.
之前是我太急于了解你所有的秘密 I wanted to know your secrets right away,
而在我觉得你值得信赖之前 and I didn't want to tell you mine
我又不想说出我的秘密 until I felt I could trust you,
这样确实不太公平 and that... wasn't fair.
我也没好到哪去 I was no better.
什么时候约会也变得这么复杂了 When did dating become so complicated?
我们已经不再是孩子了 We're not kids anymore.
彼此的心都受过伤 We've both had our hearts kicked around.
也许正是这样才让我们有"枪声恐惧症" I guess it's made us a little gun-shy...
[意为瞻前顾后]
这个词形容你这种 If "gun-shy" is the right word for a woman
坐拥一间兵工厂的女人 很贴切吧 with an arsenal as big as yours.
那我们接下来怎么办 So what do we do?
要我说 I say...
我们谁也别再费尽力气 We forget about the crazy digging for dirt
翻对方老底了 that we both did.
来一次正常的约会吧 And just have a normal first date.
好啊 All right.
什么时候 When?
既然午餐时间到了 Well, it is lunchtime.
那一起用餐吧 Why not?
我知道一家印度小馆 I know this little Indian place
做的羊肉咖喱堪称一绝 that does an amazing Lamb Vindaloo.
你怎么知道我喜欢印度菜的 How'd you know I like Indian food?
还是不说为妙 I'd rather not say.
我也不知道为什么还想回那所学校工作 I don't even know why I wanna work at that school again.
那些自以为是 拉帮结伙的妈妈们 Ugh, those smug cliquey moms.
你能想象丹娜居然让我去买彩带 I mean, can you believe that Dana gave me streamer duty?
确实很恼火 It's positively awful.
跟我说说 保罗的身体怎么样了 So tell me, how is Paul?
我听说他进医院了 I hear he went to the hospital?
还以为是心脏病突发 He thought he was having a heart attack,
但检验结果出来不是如此 but the test results came back negative.
医生说是什么原因病发的吗 Do the doctors know what caused it?
他们是说压力过大 They think it's stress,
但我很担心他 but I'm worried about him.
没关系的 Oh, don't be.
我觉得他应该回去再多做几项检查 Well, I think he should go back and have more tests done.
他会没事的 He'll be fine.
以我做护士的经验来看 As a nurse, I saw time and again
缓解压力的最有效的处方就是 that the best prescription for stress
多休息 和美味的食物 is rest and good food.
你真贴心 还为他做这些曲奇 So sweet of you to make these cookies for him.
我希望他能尽快振作起来 Well, yeah, I hope it cheers him up.
我肯定医生也是这么吩咐的 I'm sure it's just what the doctor ordered.
我真希望能多为他做点什么 Well... I wish I could do more.
噢 苏珊 Oh, Susan.
你为保罗做的一切 超乎你的想象 You're doing more for Paul than you can possibly know.
美国大峡谷 The Grand Canyon.
深度超过一英里 Over a mile deep.
经过600万年的侵蚀而形成的自然奇观 It took six million years to form.
红杉国家公园 Sequoia National Forest--
犹如高耸云霄的纪念碑 A soaring monument
彰显了大自然的神圣庄严 to nature's majesty.
我们就去这些地方度假 So that's our vacation?
就看这些破树和地洞吗 Looking at trees and a hole in the ground?
别这样 孩子们 妈妈可是煞费苦心啊 Now, now, kids, your mom worked hard on this. Be kind.
如果大峡谷不是你们的菜的话 Yeah. Yeah, if the Grand Canyon isn't your scene...
她刚刚是说“菜”吗 Did she say "Scene"?
你们一定会爱上下一站的 You're bound to love our next stop...
惊声尖叫 The screaminator.
紧张刺激的过山车之旅 长达七分钟 Seven minutes of sheer roller coaster terror.
"称职的家长"杂志 "Responsible Parenting" Magazine
称之为继咖啡因果汁后最刺激的玩意 calls it the worst idea since the caffeinated juice box.
太赞了 That's awesome.
-听起来确实 -太吸引我了 - That sounds really... - Oh, me likey that.
-太棒了 -这几个 - That's very sweet! -Any and all
惊心动魄的地方随便哪里都可以去 of these thrilling destinations are available to us.
我们只需要找一辆房车 然后启程 We just point the R.V. ... and drive.
太好了 All right!
我简直迫不及待了 Yes! Oh, man, I can't wait.
我忘了还有房车这码事了 Ooh, I forget about the R.V.
带上佩琪的话会不会太麻烦了 Won't it be a little cramped now that we have Paige?
你们老爸说的对 Oh, maybe your dad's right.
也许我们不应该开房车 Maybe we shouldn't take the R.V.
也许我们应该开这辆 Maybe we should take...
道路主宰者8000 The road juggernaut 8000.
配有最先进的影音娱乐系统 State-of-the-art entertainment system,
6间私密包厢可供休息 six private sleeping compartments,
还有两间设施齐全的浴室 and two full baths,
其中一间还被贾斯丁·比伯在上一次巡演 one of which Justin Bieber used on his last tour to make...
的途中用来做水球 water balloons.
-别说了 -别说了 - Shut up! - Shut up!
我的心已经飘到那去了 I'm blown away right now!
我们要去度假啦 We are going on vacation!
接下来看你的了 夏威夷 Follow that, Hawaii.
能摘下来吗 Will you take that off?
不要 No.
胡安妮塔 你像个傻大姐 Juanita, you look ridiculous.
我不在乎 I don't care how I look.
我不想那杀手砍了我的头 I don't want that killer guy to chop off my head.
首先 他要砍你头 First of all, a helmet wouldn't keep him
戴头盔也没用 from chopping off your head.
唯一的意义在于把头盔还给帕克之前 It would just mean I'd have to clean It
我还得先洗干净 before I gave it back to Parker.
其次 根本没杀人狂 Second, there is no killer guy.
是电影里演的罢了 It's an actor in a movie.
可我还是害怕 But I'm still scared.
害怕没什么大不了 有时还挺有意思 It's okay to be scared. It's even fun sometimes.
但你不要自己吓自己 But you can't let that scared come from inside your own head,
你得学会自我冷静 and you have to be able to calm it down if it does.
那是什么 What's that?
就是路人而已 胡安妮塔 It's people walking by, Juanita.
这正是我所说的 This is what I'm talking about.
现在你就得克服恐惧 This is where you take charge of your fear.
妈妈 我觉得是那个杀手 Mama, I think it's the killer.
不是 胡安妮塔 No, it's not, Juanita.
妈妈 看 Mom, look!
谁在外面 走开 Oh! Who's out there?! Go away!
吓死你们 Gotcha!
你脑子被门夹了啊 What the hell is wrong with you?!
我可是在帮忙 I'm trying to help.
把我吓出心脏病 你觉得这是帮忙吗 By giving me a heart attack, you thought that would help?
也算吧 Kinda did.
老妈 你真该照照镜子 Oh, mom, you should've seen your face.
我只是想证明 I just wanted to show you
不是所有事物都如外表那样可怕 看 that not everything that looks scary actually is. See?
塑料的 Plastic.
和电影一样 看起来恐怖 但都是假的 It's like the movie. It looks scary, but it's fake.
完全正确 Exactly.
我得走了 鲍勃在洗澡 I have to go. Bob's in the shower,
舔都不舔我的鸡肉馅饼 and he's about to pay for not liking my
他得付出代价 chicken pot pie.
孩子们 今晚投票的时候 So when you cast your vote tonight, kids,
投给冒险精神 cast it for adventure,
投给奢华 投给自然 luxury, nature.
因为夏威夷正合斯加沃一家的胃口 'cause Hawaii has something for every Scavo,
无论是乘直升机环游热气腾腾的火山 whether it is circling a smoking volcano in a helicopter,
还是在晶莹剔透的海水中与海豚共舞 or swimming in crystal-clear waters with the dolphins.
都绝对是一次终身难忘的旅行 It is the vacation of a lifetime.
夏威夷 夏威夷 夏威夷... Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii...
我才不去 I didn't wanna do this.
你们知道还有谁 You know who else
喜欢在晶莹剔透的海水中游泳吗 loves swimming in those crystal-clear waters?
大自然最饥饿的掠食者 大白鲨 Nature's hungriest predator-- the great white shark.
别扯了 岛上从来没有 Come on. There hasn't been a shark attack
遭遇过鲨鱼袭击 on the island in forever.
是吗 还是说人们根本找不到证据呢 Really? Or did they just fail to find the evidence?
大白鲨早就把猎物吃干净了 Great whites tend to eat their victims.
什么 What?
根本不可能 This is very, very unlikely to happen.
没错 没错 You're right. You're right.
那是因为我们都早早死于... I mean, especially if we all die first in...
可怕的坠机 a gruesome helicopter crash.
现在你们明白 Now you see
为什么当地人都叫它"夺命鸟"了吧 why the natives call them death birds.
你觉得自驾游更安全吗 You think you're gonna be safer driving across country?
知道意外死亡率第一的是什么吗 Who knows the number one cause of accidental death?
-我知道 正是车祸 -没关系 孩子们 - Oh, I do. It's the car crash. - Don't worry, kids.
我们会请个专业的司机 We're gonna hire a professional driver.
肯定不是你们的爸爸 It won't be your dad.
伙计们 投票之前我们能上楼 Guys, can we go upstairs and talk about this
进行讨论吗 before we vote?
当然 You bet.
我们敬候佳音 We await your verdict.
天啊 你真是个伪君子 God, you are a hypocrite.
怎么说 How?
十年前 圣诞节 Ten years ago, Christmas,
我们站在玩具店前的电动车道上 we are standing in the scooter aisle at the toy store
我正想给双胞胎选份大礼物 when I wanna choose the twins' big present.
你说 "汤姆 等你开始赚钱了 You say, "Tom, when you start making the money,
你再来做决定吧" you can start making the decisions."
你在挖尸吗 佩服 You've been sitting on that for a decade? Wow.
猜猜怎么着 我赚钱了 Well, guess what. I make the money,
赚了大钱 比你以往的收入都高 big money, more money than you ever did,
我有权决定怎么花 so I get to decide how we spend it!
我们应该夫妻平等 We're supposed to be equal partners.
-我只是想拥有发言... -才不是 - I just wanted a say in the pro... - No, you don't.
这就是你一贯的作风 You wanna control the process
-掌控全盘 -小心说话 - like you always do. - Watch it.
如今你感到你的权威岌岌可危 And then you feel that power slipping away,
你就受不了了 and you can't stand it.
你受不了如今是由我来掌控全盘 You can't stand that I am running the show.
掌控全盘 你搞笑呢 Running the show? Are you kidding me?
-不就是讨论一次家庭旅行... -不是了 - We're talking about a family vacation... - Not anymore,
我们早跑题了 we are not!
是你无法接受我的成功 This is about how you can't handle my success.
不 是你自己无法接受你的成功 No, you can't handle your success.
是你变成了一个臭屁狂 You've turned into a pompous ass!
或许是因为你变成了个泼妇 Maybe because it's turned you into a raging bitch.
李 我警告你 Lee! I am warning you.
一次还算好玩 这次老娘不杀了你才怪 Once was funny. This time, I will kill you.
给我走开 Get out of here!
佩妮怎么样了 How's Penny?
很不开心 Really upset.
她不停的哭 说什么她不想做选择 She kept crying and saying how she didn't wanna choose.
我不在乎我们去哪里 I don't care where we go.
自驾游就自驾游呗 We'll take the road trip.
汤姆 她说的不是旅游 Not the vacation, Tom.
她不想选择跟我们之中的谁生活 She doesn't wanna choose which one of us to live with.
太糟糕了 她怎么会这么想 That is awful. Why would she think that?
她怎么不会 她的三个朋友都遇过 Why wouldn't she? She's seen it happen to three of her friends.
汤姆 我们虽然老是小打小闹 We have always fought, Tom,
但从没到刚才那地步 but never like that.
我知道 不能再这样了 I know. It's gotta stop.
同意 I agree.
我害怕我一张嘴 I mean, I'm scared to open my mouth
你就恨不得把我吃了 for fear you're gonna bite my head off.
不好意思 你是在讲和吗 I'm sorry. Was that an olive branch?
我做的也不好 I'm no better, okay?
一周有四天不能回来吃晚饭 I miss dinner four nights a week,
就算我在家里 And even when I am here...
心思也都飞回办公室了 my mind is back at the office.
其实咱们俩才真正需要放假休息 I think we're the ones who need a vacation.
就我俩 Alone.
没错 Yeah.
不用去很久 过个周末就行 Not a big trip. Just a weekend.
我们就 有机会单独相处 We can... get a chance to be together
解决种种这些问题 and work through all of this.
你说的没错 You're right.
这周末咱们就去 We should do it this weekend.
你说真的 You mean it?
是啊 Yeah.
不过得先看看公司安排 I just have to check with the office.
好吧 Okay.
我们一定会去的吧 But we are gonna do it, right?
别告诉我 You're not gonna get all
最后关头你又临时有事 busy at the last minute?
我说了去 I said we'll do it,
就一定会去的 好吗 and we'll do it, okay?
好的 好的 Okay. Okay.
你好啊 苏珊 Hello, Susan.
你好 丹娜 彩带买到了 Hey, Dana. I got you your streamers.
我不惜血本买了质量好的 防火彩带 I splurged and bought the good ones--flame-retardant.
很好 Good.
天啊 这些饼干也是为开放日准备的吗 Oh, my god. Are those cookies for the open house?
这个是 Oh, well, actually--
你简直是个大救星 You are a lifesaver.
正巧有两位家长饿昏过去了 I just had two moms flake out on me.
是吗 Really?
那么 Uh... well...
我想到可能会有人饿 就烤了些来 I thought that might happen, so I baked some just in case.
这是好老师具备的品质之一 It's one of the things that makes a great teacher--
凡事未雨绸缪 being ready for anything.
多谢 Thank you.
苏珊 我以前不太喜欢你 You know, susan, I haven't been your biggest supporter,
但那也许是我的偏见 but maybe I misjudged you.
谢谢你的饼干 Thanks for these.
咱们可以找个时间 约上霍布森校长 Let's find some time to sit down with principal Hobson
谈谈重新聘用你的事 and talk about you coming back.
太好了 Yes!
你好 苏珊 Hello, Susan.
-进来吧 -送餐的来啦 - Come on in. - Meals on wheels.
不过是步行来的 Well, shoes.
不过"步行送餐"不怎么好听 But "Food on shoes" doesn't sound as good.
今天特色菜 千层面 Today's special is lasagna.
是我帮你放到盘子里 Would you like me to put it on a plate for you,
还是你一会儿再吃 or do you wanna eat it later?
我现在就吃 I think I'll have it now.
而且 我还想邀你一起吃 In fact, I'd love for you to join me.
我就不吃了 Oh, I can't.
M.J.学校里有活动 我得去参加 Acturally, I'm on my way to a function at M.J.'s school.
晚几分钟也没关系 坐吧 I'm sure you have a few minutes. Sit down.
这 我赶时间 Uh... I'm kind of in a rush.
这样对你不公平 But it's not fair.
你大费周折 You go to all this trouble to bring me
给我送来好吃的 却从来都是我自己吃 these delicious meals, and we never share them.
我过意不去 It pains me.
保罗 你 怎么了 Uh... Paul, what's... going on?
好吧 既然你赶时间 Fine. You're in a hurry.
直接捅我一刀怎么样 这样快多了 Why don't you stab me with this? It'll be faster.
或者你是想来点刺激的 看我慢慢死去 Or are you getting your kicks watching me die slowly?
好吧 我完全不懂你说的什么意思 Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about.
你送来的吃的 苏珊 有毒 The food you're bringing me, Susan--it's poisoned.
什么 不可能 What? That's not possible.
我拿去验过了 来吧 尝一口 I had it tested. Come on. Have a bite.
保罗 Paul.
你怎么能这样对我 How could you do this to me?
你是想收回你的房子 Is it because you want the house?
还是你恨我 Is it--is it because you hate me?
相信我 我从没往送你的食物里投毒 Okay, you have to believe me. I never put poison in your food.
反正是有人干的 是麦克吗 Well, somebody did. Was it Mike?
没有 是我做的饭 只有我... No! It was just me. I-I'm the only one who...
怎么了 What?
天啊 Oh, my god.
还有饼干 我得走了 马上回学校 The cookies. I-I've gotta go. I've gotta get to the school!
辛迪 辛迪 甜点 Oh, Cindy, Cindy. The desserts--
甜点 就是我做的饼干 The desserts, my cookies--
已经拿出来给大家了吗 have they put them out yet?
当然啦 Oh! Yeah.
就摆在 They're... just...
太抱歉了 尝尝燕麦葡萄干饼干吧 I'm so sorry. Try the oatmeal raisin.
凯西 你知道这饼干成分多复杂吗 Kathy, um, do you know how many points these are?
你日后会谢谢我的 You'll thank me tomorrow.
苏珊 你为这次开放日活动做了这么多 Susan? What did you do to the parents' council?
大家爱死你了 They love you.
那太好了 谢谢你的饼干 Oh, great! Thanks for the cookie.
哪一盘是我做的 Uh, which one of these is--is mine?
我可不知道 都混在一起了 Ooh, I have no idea. We just put 'em all together.
哎呀 对不起 看我笨手笨脚 Whoops! Sorry. Oh, silly me.
各位家长 If I can have everyone's attention
请听我说 好吗 for a moment, please?
大家好 欢迎所有到场的优秀家长 Hi. I wanna welcome all our wonderful parents.
还要感谢装饰委员会的工作 And I wanna thank the decorating committee
感谢提供甜点的家长 and those who made the refreshments.
当然还有苏珊·德尔非诺 Oh, including Susan Delfino.
谢谢你苏珊 谢谢你的巧克力饼干 Thank you, Susan, for those chocolate chip cookies.
这个 不用谢 Oh. Uh... you're welcome.
我做的饼干 各位别吃 And about those cookies I made--don't eat them.
有毒 They're poison.
不是开玩笑的 我的饼干会致命 No, no, this isn't a joke. My cookies will kill you.
天啊 Oh, god.
就是她 警官 That's her, officers.
是的 不管是谁 Yes, no matter who we are,
都会有害怕的时候 we all experience moments of dread...
尤其是当我们问自己 when we ask ourselves,
会不会有人相信我是无辜的 will anyone believe I'm innocent?
我的女儿会不会变成单亲家庭的孩子 will my daughter be a child of divorce?
这个男人会不会伤我的心 will this man break my heart?
午夜时分会不会撞鬼 Are there things that go bump in the night?
有时候 And sometimes...
我们得到的答案 The answer...
是肯定的 is yes.