前情提要 Previously on...
丹妮尔生下了她的孩子... Danielle had her baby...
...在万圣节那天 on Halloween.
你说过我父亲根本不在乎我 You said my father didn't care about me.
凯瑟琳透露了一个秘密 Katherine revealed a secret.
我希望你试想一下 一个父亲 I want you to imagine the worst thing
能对他女儿做出的最卑劣的事情 that a father can do to his daughter.
勒奈特得到一个天大的喜讯 Lynette got great news.
我拿到了你的化验结果 你痊愈了 I got the test results back. You're clean.
然而麦克在尝试减轻他的苦痛 While Mike tried to ease his pain,
维克多 - 你知道我的梦想是什么吗? Victor... You know what my dream is?
挽留住了加布 - 是你 Reached out to Gaby. You.
别离开我 加布 如果你要离开 带着我一起 Don't run away, Gaby. But if you do, take me with you.
伊蒂开始了复仇 And Edie got revenge.
别把责任都归咎于加布 Don't take it all out on Gaby.
是卡洛斯想在背后耍你一把 Carlos decided to make a fool out of you.
你需要了解关于维克多·郎的如下事迹: The thing you need to know about Victor Lang
他从来就不会吝啬使用自己的欺骗技巧 is that he was not above using deception.
无论是对竞选赞助商的虚假承诺 Whether it was an insincere promise to a campaign donor,
还是 对记者提问的四两拨千斤 or the artful evasion of a reporter's question,
抑或 对选民们彻头彻尾的撒谎 or an outright lie to his constituents,
维克多为了如愿以偿 别无选择 Victor did what he had to to get what he wanted.
但多亏有了这些偷拍照片 But thanks to some compromising photos,
让他了解到他的妻子 he learned that his wife
同样在欺骗方面也有所造诣 knew a little something about deception as well.
最后通牒 卡洛斯 别再打给我了 For the last time, Carlos, stop calling me.
我说过 我只是想谈谈 I told you, I just wanna talk.
我也说过 我们玩完了 And I told you it's over. So what,
- 你要重投那个鸡嘴唇白化病人的怀抱? - 我不知道 you're just gonna go back to that chicken-lipped albino? I don't know.
我那天还真是有这个想法 I'm taking it one day at a time.
但是我想告诉你关于维克多的一点 But what I can say about Victor is
- 就是他从不对他的收入状况撒谎 - 听着 我说过对不起了 he doesn't lie to me about how much money he's got. Look, I said I was sorry.
那很好 好吧 我要走了 布里 Oh, that's great. Yeah, well, I-I gotta go, Bree.
是布里 Ahem. It's Bree.
好吧 我刚通知我的幕僚们 Okay, so I just informed my staff
我要休假一个月 that I'm taking the next month off
跟我妻子去享受她一直想要的蜜月假期 to give my wife the honeymoon she always wanted.
- 这太棒了 我们要去哪里? - 卧室里有几本旅游杂志 That's amazing. Where should we go? Well, I left some travel magazines in the bedroom.
你干吗不拿来看看? Why don't you go get 'em? Oh!
我的天啊 维克多 Oh, my god, Victor.
里约热内卢一月游 宛如天堂 不是吗? A month in Rio sounds like heaven, doesn't it?
是啊 我们就去那里 Oh, it does. Let's do it. Ooh!
为什么我们不马上就开始和解行动 Hey, why don't we kick off our reconciliation
去小船上度过一个周末假期呢? with a little weekend on the boat?
太浪漫了 我喜欢 That's so romantic. I love that. Huh?
只有你和我 飘荡在大海的中央 Just you and me, all alone, out in the middle of the ocean.
我的女友们肯定会嫉妒死的 The girls are gonna be so jealous.
不 不 不 我们别告诉其他人这事 Oh, no, no, no, let's not tell anyone we're going.
这是一个小秘密 It'll be our little secret.
是的 维克多从不吝啬 Yes, Victor was not above
用他的欺骗技巧去获得他想得到的 using deception to get what he wanted,
而此时此刻他想要的就是... and what he wanted now
复仇 was revenge.
紫藤街次日帷幕的拉开 透着一丝欺骗的气息 The next day on Wisteria Lane began with a bit of deceit.
布瑞·霍奇通知她的友人 Bree Hodge told her friends
她在午夜赋予了一个漂亮男孩崭新的生命 she had given birth in the middle of the night to a beautiful baby boy.
多亏本杰明·泰森·霍奇健康的肺 制造出不绝于耳的哭声 And thanks to the healthy lungs of Benjamin Tyson Hodge,
使得她的朋友们... it didn't take long for Bree's friends
有足够时间编撰出自己的谎言 to engage in some deceit of their own.
他真是一个从天堂掉落的小天使 Well, he's just a little piece of heaven.
- 你命真好 - 此情此景让我自己都想再生一个了 You're so blessed. Makes me wanna have another one myself.
奥森 你最好把本杰明抱到另一个房间去 Orson, you better take Benjamin to the other room
免得我朋友们把溢美的谎言都说光了 before my friends run out of lies. Ah.
不是这样 No.
他们不懂得赞赏你健康的肺 就是这样 They don't appreciate a healthy pair of lungs, that's all, huh?
来吧 本杰明 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Come on, Benjamin.
- 勒奈特 你告诉他们你的喜讯了吗? - 还没有 现在是在为孩子庆祝呢 Hey, Lynette, you tell everyone your news? No. This is about the baby.
等等 你去做了最终扫描检测吗? Wait. Did you have that final scan?
- 有什么消息吗? - 好吧 检测结果已经传回了 Did you hear something? Well, the results are back,
然而你永远不能确定 你已经完全痊愈了 and while you can never actually say you're cured...
她痊愈了 She's cured!
我的天啊 太好了 Oh, my god! Oh, yeah!
我必须每六个月进行一次例行检查 I have to get checked every six months,
但 是的 医生表示情况非常乐观 but, yes, the doctor is very optimistic.
你们到底在闹什么? Hey, what the hell is all this racket?
有人中了彩票? Someone win the lotto?
我只是在告诉所有人我的喜讯... Oh, I was just telling everybody the good news about my...
关于癌症的 Cancer.
恭喜你 Hey, congrats!
我自己也是个治愈者 I'm a survivor myself.
前列腺癌 Prostate.
松饼 Ooh, muffins.
有点风度 介绍下自己吧 Hey, show some class. Introduce yourself.
你们好 我是斯坦 Hi. I'm Stan.
那...那是我的浴袍吗? Is Th... is that my robe?
是的 不好意思 Yeah. Sorry, uh...
如果我早知道我昨晚在那家扑克俱乐部 If I knew when I walked into that card club last night
会跟这位可爱的女士一起回家 that I would be going home with this lovely lady,
我一定会随身携带换洗衣服的 I'd have packed me a change of clothes.
好吧 我明白了 我们会离开你们的视线的 Okay, I get it. We'll get out of your hair.
来吧 帅哥 我们来洗个澡 Come on, handsome. Let's take a shower.
哦 Ooh.
麦克 你要在里面待多久? Mike, how long are you gonna be?
我们要赶在食物凉掉之前送去布瑞家 We've gotta get this food over to Bree's before it gets cold.
苏珊 我今天不是很想去那里 You know, Susan, I don't feel like going over there tonight.
- 你能推掉吗? - 不行 他们刚生了一个孩子 Can't you just drop it off? No, they just had a baby.
- 我们要请咿咿呀呀庆祝一阵 然后一起进餐 - 但是我累了 We're gonna "ooh," we're gonna "ahh," and then we're gonna eat. But I'm tired.
我忙了一整天 我从一大早就在工作 I worked all day. I got a job first thing in the morning.
别想躲开 麦克 There's no way out of it, Mike.
这就是生活在郊区必须做的事情 This is what we do in the suburbs.
好吧 Ah, yes...
郊区 The suburbs.
丹妮尔喜欢她的小兄弟吗? And how does Danielle like her baby brother?
她喜欢极了 Oh, she adores him.
她就是觉得非常遗憾 自己这么快就得赶回学校 She just felt terrible that she had to leave for school so soon.
说到这个 我们有一些多余的幼儿园报名表 Mm... Mm. Speaking of which, we have some extra preschool applications
如果你们有兴趣的话 if the two of you are interested.
现在就谈幼儿园不会有点早了吗? Isn't it a little early to be talking preschool?
她才刚怀孕 孩子看起来不过海马那样小 She just got pregnant. Our baby still looks like a sea horse. Oh, honey.
亲爱的 那些最好的幼儿园满员速度会让你吃惊的 You'd be surprised how fast the best schools fill up.
我们的孩子只去最好的 对吧? And only the best for our kid, right?
你要开始攒钱了 I'd start saving your pennies.
Bonny Briar幼儿园的学费是1万块一年 Bonny briar's up to $10,000 a year.
1万块? 10,000 dollars...
就为了那些乐高积木和儿童马桶? For used legos and a potty chair?
而且你最好现在就申请报名 And you'd better apply now.
黛比·戈特利布跟我同一天生产 Debbie Gottlieb had her baby the same day I did,
她的入园申请现在只能排上 and she could only get wait-listed
她选择的三所幼儿园的等待名单里 at her first three choices.
顺便说一下 我们周六要应邀参加她举行的 犹太教割礼仪式 (新生男婴切割包皮的仪式) Oh, by the way, we were invited to her bris this Saturday.
- 给我找个借口不去 - 我以为你喜欢Debbie和Lou夫妇俩 Well, make an excuse for me. I thought you liked Debbie and Lou.
我是喜欢 Oh, I do.
我只是不想看到他们借仪式来摧残他们的孩子 I just don't care to watch them ritually mutilate their child.
麻烦再来点木须肉 More moo shu, please.
割礼仪式才不是一种摧残 Circumcision's not mutilation.
那是一个简单的外科手术 It's a simple surgery
旨在维持男性的终生健康 meant to promote lifelong masculine hygiene.
那是通过外创的方式 It's a, uh, traumatic procedure
减少男性的性行为快感 which reduces the male's capacity for sexual pleasure
减低了顶端刺激的敏感度... by desensitizing the tip of...
我们知道是怎么回事 We know what it is.
在这个话题上 Gee, I don't think I've ever heard
我从未听闻过如此强烈的意见 such strong opinions on the subject.
我是说 这不是一个我之前经常谈到的话题 I mean, not that it's something I talk about a lot...
以后也是 Or ever.
我希望我的言辞没有冒犯你 I hope I didn't offend you.
自从"1万块"那句后我就没听进一个字 I haven't heard a word since "$10,000."
只是这让我清晰回忆起了自己的割礼仪式 It's just that I remember my own circumcision so vividly.
这是在胡诌吧 Oh, that's ridiculous.
我父母也在这个问题上有分歧 My parents disagreed on this issue, too.
我父亲不同意 My dad said no.
所以我母亲就静候时机 So mother just bided her time
等到他终于因公务离开了镇上 until he finally left town on business.
我当时5岁 I was 5.
她告诉我 我们要去吃冰淇淋 Whoa. Ouch. She told me we were going for ice cream.
那就是为何这个仪式要在婴儿时期进行 That's why the procedure should be done on babies.
他们不会记得 They won't remember.
现在我们能换个话题吗? Now can we please just drop this?
好吧 Fine.
苏珊 So, Susan,
你之前说要带甜点来 you mentioned something about bringing dessert.
带了什么? What is it?
呃 冰淇淋 Um... Ice cream.
对不起 Sorry.
你找到巧克力酱了吗? Oh, so you found the chocolate sauce?
是的 就在这里 Oh, uh, yeah, it's right here.
- 你还好吧? - 当然 我只是吃了几粒阿司匹林 Is everything okay? Oh, yeah. I was just taking a couple of aspirin.
我希望奥森的瞎闹没让你头痛 I hope Orson's rant didn't give you a headache.
没有 我就是在那事故之后还会有点痛 Oh, no, I've just still got a little pain from my accident,
- 就是这样 - 还在痛? 那事故差不多快两年了 that's all. Still? That was nearly two years ago.
只是时不时的刺痛 Well, it's just a twinge every now and then.
阿司匹林很管用 Aspirin does the trick.
不 不 不 我来拿这个 No, no, no, no. I'll get that.
我以为你把船停在游艇俱乐部的 I thought you kept your boat at the yacht club.
是的 但我想从这儿离港行驶 Yeah, I wanted to leave from here.
- 这样能避免码头的拥挤状况 - 船员在什么地方? This way, we avoid the congestion at the Marina. Where's the crew?
没有船员 我让他们走了 There's no crew. I let 'em go.
什么? What?
谁来给我们撑伞递水? Who's gonna bring us umbrella drinks
我们行走经过 谁来给我们敬礼致意? and salute us when we walk by?
就把我当作你的单人海军吧 Just consider me your one-man Navy.
- 那你打算自己驾船? - 你可以帮我 So you're gonna drive this thing by yourself? Well, you can help.
去年夏天那个船长不是教你开船了吗? Didn't that captain give you lessons last summer?
是啊 Oh, that's right...
那是我永远不想重回的2小时无聊梦魇 Those two boring hours I'll never get back.
好消息是 这两小时航行将 涵盖除无聊之外的所有内容 Well, the good news is this trip will be anything but boring.
我们必须谈谈那个斯坦的事 Hey. Hi. We need to talk about this Stan thing.
他叫那个名字? 斯坦? Oh, is that his name? Stan?
当他离开的时候 我就说了句"慢走" Uh, when he left, I just sort of said, "see ya."
好吧 这让我想到 Well, it got me thinking
这几个月以来你像这样荒废度过了 about how much you've had to put your life on hold
- 多少个日夜? - 没什么大不了的 these past few months. No big deal.
不 这很重要 No, it wasa big deal.
你一直以来对我关怀备至 You have taken amazing care of me.
但是我知道你希望能重拾一些从前的生活 But I know you have so many things you wanna get back to.
不是这样 Mm, not really.
跟五个膝盖高的嘈杂小孩一起生活 Come on. It must be driving you crazy
一定让你抓狂不已 living with five screaming kids underfoot.
我不会反对 你想追求一些宁静和安适的权利 I don't blame you for wanting a little peace and quiet.
你得离开了 妈妈 You need to leave, mom.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 我知道我不该把Stan带回家来 Okay, I-I know I shouldn't have brought... Stan into the house.
我向你保证下次我们会在车里做的 And next time, I promise you we will do it in the car.
不只是那件事 It's not just that.
你们在房间里又是抽烟又是诅咒 It's the smoking and the swearing
还教孩子们调威士忌酸酒 and the teaching the kids how to make a whiskey sour.
这是一门科学 勒奈特 It's a science, Lynette.
叫做混合酒调制术 (混合酒调制术:准备混合饮料的研究或技术) It's called mixology.
我觉得如果你有自己住处的话 I just think it would work better for everyone
对大家都有好处 if you got your own place.
那好 不过我的钱从哪来? Okay. With what money?
你有钱的 对吧? You have money, right?
我是说 那一万块是你借给我们的 I mean, you loaned us that $10,000.
对呀 是我借的 Yes, I did.
等等 Wait a minute.
那就是你所有的钱? That was all the money you had?
你们需要这笔钱 而我也需要地方住 You guys needed it, and I needed a place to stay.
看起来对大家都有好处 It seemed like it turned out pretty well for everybody.
你什么意思? 我以为你和Lucy住一块 What do you mean? I thought you were living with Lucy.
你姐姐把我赶出来了 Your sister kicked me out.
说句不好听的 勒奈特 Not to put too fine a point on it, Lynette,
你的癌症来得真是时候 but your cancer couldn't have come at a better time.
嘿 我有些学校的作业需要你帮一下忙 Hey, I need your help with a school thing.
你从来没要我帮过忙 肯定是件简单的事情 Wow. You never ask for my help. Must be something easy.
你知道迪伦父亲的事情吗? What do you know about Dylan's dad?
学校要我们做一个系谱项目 We've got this genealogy project for school,
她想了解一下他 and she wants to find out about him.
也许迪伦应该问她妈妈这件事 Maybe Dylan should ask her mom.
她说起他的时候很怪异 She gets really weird talking about him.
为什么会这样? 顺便问一下 Why is that, by the way?
好吧 不要告诉别人是我和你说的 Okay, don't tell anybody I told you this.
她妈妈在我的派对上说了 迪伦父亲虐待她的事情... Her mom said something at my party about her dad being abusive towards Katherine...
也许他对迪伦也是这样 And maybe Dylan, too.
所以我认为如果你能 让她换个研究对象会更好 Oh. So I'm thinking that it would be better if you could get her to research somebody else in her family.
是呀 Yeah.
也许你说的是对的 Maybe you're right.
听着 我跟我妈说了 Listen, I-I was talking to my mom, and...
是的 Yeah.
我听到了 I heard.
苏珊? 嗨 是布瑞 很高兴你在家 Susan? Hi. It's, uh, Bree. I'm glad you're home.
跟你说 我想我等下会顺便过去一下 Uh, listen, I-I thought I might stop by for a little visit.
我还有一小时就又有活干了 Hey. Look, I've only got, uh, about an hour before my next job.
我在电视机前吃午饭可以吗? Uh, is it okay if I grab lunch in front of the TV?
- 我想看比赛 - 没问题 我会把盘子端上来的 I wanted to watch the game. Oh, sure. I'll... I'll bring up a tray.
谢谢 Oh, thanks.
布瑞认为你在嗑药 Bree thinks you're doing drugs.
她在自己厨房地板上发现了这个 She found this on her kitchen floor,
这不是阿司匹林 and it's not aspirin.
你知道 我肩膀最近在痛 Well, you know, my shoulder's been hurting lately.
她说这是麻醉药 很容易上瘾的 She says it's a narcotic, and it's highly addictive.
根据你过往经历... Given your history...
哇 苏珊 这些药是在车祸后 医生开给我的 Whoa, whoa, Susan, these... these were prescribed by a doctor right after my accident.
我在药柜里找到了一些 I found a couple in the medicine cabinet,
然后我就一直带在身上 and I've been carrying 'em around
- 以防我肩膀又痛起来 - 真的? in case my shoulder acts up. Really?
是的 是真的 是最后两粒了 Yeah. Really. They were the last two.
没什么好担心的 So you got nothing to worry about.
哦 谢天谢地! 你不知道我都想到哪去了 Oh, thank god! You have no idea where my mind went.
我想象着你在小巷里徘徊 为了买毒品 I had you roaming back alleys to score your dope,
把我们精美的银器当了 去向毒贩子买毒品 pawning our good silver to pay your dealer.
可其实我们根本就没有精美的银器 And we don't even have good silver,
所以更惨的是你得撞翻一个加油站 so it got worse 'cause you had to knock over a gas station
来买那些银器 然后再去当掉 to buy the silver to pawn it off.
我真的开始发疯了 I was really making myself crazy.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry about that.
不过我再重申一遍... 这些都是原来开的药 没问题 But I reiterate... Old pill, no problem.
我就知道 我真高兴 I knew it. I'm so happy.
很好 Mmm. Good.
现在帮我做午饭吧 老婆 Mm, now fix me some lunch, woman.
我想看那该死的比赛 Oh! I wanna watch the damn game.
需要我帮忙吗? Can I help you?
有的 请问要让我的孩子割包皮 Yes, um, can you tell me who I would talk to
我应该去问谁呀? about having my baby circumcised?
你说帮不了我是什么意思? What do you mean you can't help me?
我收到一封来自你丈夫的挂号信 I received a registered letter from your husband which reads,
信上面说"我希望我的孩子 本杰明·霍奇 "I do not wish for my son, Benjamin Hodge,
"不要被割除包皮 "to be circumcised.
如果我妻子发现了这封信..." Should the recipient of this letter encounter my wife..."
"不必向她隐瞒这封信 "Please feel free to show her this letter
"并且明确告诉她此信已经 "and assure her of its wide distribution
"在本州以及附近的两个州的 "to hospitals and physicians
医院及医师间广为散发" across this and two neighboring states."
- 你觉得这太烫了吗? - 你竟然觉得有必要这么做 Does this seem too warm to you? That you even felt such a thing was necessary.
显然有必要 原谅我这么了解我妻子 Well, obviously, it was. Forgive me for knowing my wife.
那算什么意思? 你不相信我? What's that supposed to mean? You don't trust me?
我相信你不会食言 I trust you not to break your word.
既然你公开拒绝承诺 Since you've pointedly refused to give it,
我相信你会先斩后奏的 I trusted you to snip first and debate the merits later.
我只是为本杰明着想 讲理一点好么 I'm only thinking of Benjamin. Be reasonable.
你才不讲理呢 You're the one who's unreasonable.
你对未处理过的阴茎有啥意见? What have you got against untrimmed penises?
它们... 很难看 They're... unsightly.
我可不想咱们的儿子因为与众不同 I do not want our son to be teased...
而被其他人取笑 你呢? For being different. Do you?
那么最终 Ah, so in the end,
一切又回到传统和习俗一致的问题上来了 it all comes down to tradition and conformity.
那有什么问题? 我以为我们喜欢这种一致性呢 What is wrong with that? I thought we liked conformity.
不是以痛苦和性爱愉悦感减少为代价的 Not at the price of pain and reduced sexual pleasure.
我可以告诉你某人的性爱愉悦感 I can tell you someone whose sexual pleasure
即将被大量减少! (万家家谱网) is going to be reduced big-time!
嘿 宝贝 Hey, sweetheart.
做什么呢? What's that?
学校的作业 Just something for school.
你刚输入的那个名字是什么? What was that name you just typed in?
老师分配给我们谱系的项目 We were assigned a genealogy project.
我得去搜寻父亲的信息 I have to do research on my father.
我会打电话给你老师的 I will call your teacher.
她会分配给你不同的项目的 She'll assign you a different project.
你以为你在做什么? What do you think you're doing?
我在了解自己的父亲 I am learning about my father.
- 迪伦! - 这么多年了 你一直都和我说 Dylan! For years, you have told me
我父亲太邪恶了 不要谈起他 that my father is too evil to talk about.
现在我发现你在邻居家的派对上 讨论我父亲?! Now I find out you've discussed him at a neighborhood game night?!
不管如何 我还是你母亲 Regardless, I am still your mother,
只要你住在我家里 and while you're under my roof,
你就得守我的规矩 you will obey my rules.
如果我不呢? And what if I don't?
你会再扇我几个耳光 把我赶出去吗? Are you gonna slap me again, kick me out of the house?
来呀 试试看 看到底会怎样 Go ahead. Try it. See what happens.
很抱歉 妈妈 I'm sorry, mom.
这次你管不了我了 You can't stop me this time.
我再也不怕你了 I am officially no longer afraid of you.
他需要一些药来止痛 他刚好在药柜里 And he needed something for the pain, so he happened to find
发现最后两颗药 the last two pills in the medicine cabinet,
所以他就吃了 and he took 'em.
没什么大不了 It's no big deal.
我给你看样东西 Let me show you something.
看到这个面包机没? You see this breadmaker?
这就是我藏夏敦埃酒的地方 This is where I hid a bottle of chardonnay
夏敦埃酒：一种类似夏布利酒的无甜味白葡萄酒
在和大家说我戒酒了之后 after I told everyone I'd stopped drinking.
不过这不是一回事 Oh, but this isn't the same thing.
麦克在这件事上不会骗我的 Mike wouldn't lie to me about this.
旋转调料架？ Oh! And this rotating spice rack?
那些装伏特加的小瓶子 Those little airplane bottles of vodka
放在后面刚好 fit perfectly in the back.
他说没有再多的药片了 He said there were no more pills.
当时我是直视他眼睛的 I was looking him in the eye.
苏珊 嗜毒者很会伪装 Susan, addicts are experts at deception.
给你我的建议 My advice to you...
信任的同时... Trust...
还得查证 But verify.
那... 这样很好 So... this is nice...
小小的家庭聚会 Little family get-together.
你为什么没叫Lucy? Why didn't you call Lucy?
你知道她呀 总是很忙 Oh, you know her, always busy.
妈妈... 你看起来不错 So, mom... you look good.
谢谢 有人在和你约会了吗? Thanks. You seeing anybody?
有我也不会和你说 Not that I wanna tell you about.
还是单身 Mm, still alone.
瞧 特色菜是鸡肉 Ooh, look. The special is chicken.
- 听起来不错 - 帮我点一份 Doesn't that sound good? Ooh, order me one.
- 我去一趟酒吧 看看比赛的比分 - 玩的开心 I-I'm going to the bar and... and check the score on the game. Have fun.
我知道你是什么意思 我不会答应的 I know what this is, and I'm not doing it.
- 什么? 什么? 我们是来吃午饭的 - 她不能搬回来 What? What? We're having lunch. She's not moving back in.
我可不会让你控制我的 I resist your attempts to manipulate me.
没有人要控制你 Nobody is manipulating you.
我立场很坚定 My boundaries are strong.
我知道我要的是什么 我也应该过得幸福 I know what I want, and I deserve to be happy.
你在干什么? 你在读什么吗? What have you got there? Are you reading from something?
好吧! Okay!
当你邀请我来吃午饭的时候 As soon as you invited me to lunch,
我打电话给我的心理医生 I called my therapist.
他告诉我 And he told me
你会想方设法让我内疚 然后把妈妈接回去 但是... you'd try to guilt me into taking mom back, but...
"我精神上不会被勒索的" "I will not be emotionally blackmailed."
把那个给我 Give me that.
我已经受够她了 勒奈特 I already had her, Lynette.
她和我住了两年 She stayed with me for two years...
这两年里我的体重暴涨 Two year sin which my weight ballooned.
她帮我换了四个发型 She put me through four different hairstyles.
有次 她甚至把在酒吧认识的男人带回了家 Once, she even brought home this guy she met at a bar.
她现在不那样了 She's so not like that now.
我不在乎 I don't care.
她搬出去的那天 我找回了自己的生活 The day she moved out, I got my life back.
如果你想要吃午饭 行 So if you wanna have lunch, fine.
不过就午饭而已 But that's it.
好的 好的 Okay. Okay.
好的 Okay.
为你好 Good for you.
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
鸡肉呢? Where's the chicken?
是呀 服务生呢? 我去找他 Oh, yeah. Where is that waiter? I'm gonna go find him.
听我说 Just hear me out.
如果你稍微打理打理自己的脸颊 If you trim the sides in a little,
我想你脸上的褶皱就会消失了 I think you'll lose that wingy effect you have going now.
妈妈! Mom!
我是说看你脸型 Well, I'm just saying that with the shape of your face,
你可没对自己多好 you're not doing yourself any favors. Do you think
你可不可以哪怕一分钟不这么挑剔呢? you could go for one minute without being critical?
你在说什么? What are you talking about?
我还没说你的眼影呢 I have not said one word about your eye shadow yet.
"我拒绝你的否定 "I reject your negativity.
我和自己认为的一样美" I am as beautiful as I feel inside."
哦 是你呀 Oh, it's you.
谢谢你通知我来拿画 Thank you for calling about my painting.
我不敢相信自己忘了这个 I can't believe I forgot that.
是呀 我知道 这对你很重要 Yeah, I know it meant a lot to you.
这中间有个洞 There's a hole in it.
是呀 我对现代艺术也是一窍不通 Yeah, I don't get modern art either.
好吧 伊蒂... Okay, Edie...
我知道你现在很生气 但是... I know that you're angry right now, but...
你觉得我很生气? You thinki'mangry?
你应该瞧瞧维克多的样子 You should've seen Victor.
什么? What?
是的 我们聊了聊 Yeah, we had a little chat.
事实上 他不相信你在搞他老婆... Actually, he didn't believe that you were screwing his wife...
直到我给他看了些照片... Until I showed him some photos,
接着他就火了 and then he was just enraged.
挺吓人的 It was a little scary.
看在上帝的份上 卡洛斯 For god sakes, Carlos,
你要我换个号码吗? am I gonna have to change this number?
维克多知道了 Victor knows.
- 知道什么? - 所有的事情 Knows what? Everything.
伊蒂告诉他我们在偷情 Edie told him we're having an affair.
不 那不可能 他什么都没说 No, that's impossible. He hasn't said a word.
实际上 我从来没看过他这么贴心和专注 In fact, I've never seen him so sweet and attentive.
那是装出来的! It's an act!
伊蒂说他火大了 Edie said he was enraged.
如果他生我的气 Well, if he's so mad at me,
- 他为什么要带我来海上旅行? - 他带你去海上旅行? why would he take me on a boat trip? He took you on a boat?
- 噢 糟了 - 我觉得你得赶快跑 Oh, crap. I think you need to get out of there.
加布? Gaby?
我刚才在和...布瑞通话 Oh! Oh, uh... I-I was just talking to... Bree.
哦 哦 不 不 Oh. Oh, no, no.
我们说好的...完全的私密 We agreed... total privacy.
我们回家的时候我会还给你的 When we head home, you can have it back.
你可以和布瑞通话 随便多久都行 And you can talk to... Bree as much as you like.
你要吃点什么? Can I get you something?
不用了 我很好 No, I'm good.
你还好吧? You okay?
实际上 我很冷 Uh, actually, I'm really cold.
也许我们这次就算了 下次再来 Maybe we should bail and do this another day.
- 等天气暖和些 - 会暖和的 You know, when it's warmer. It'll warm up.
那好 以防万一 我们先去靠岸 Oh, okay, well, just in case, we should run back to shore
这样我去拿件夹克 so I can grab a jacket.
加布... Gaby...
你哪儿都去不了 You're not going anywhere.
去不了? I'm not?
我知道了一切...你 卡洛斯 偷情 都知道了 I know about everything... you, Carlos, the affair, everything.
那好 我很抱歉 Okay. I am so sorry.
不过 我的辩解是 But in my defense,
你总是不在家 you were always gone,
在娶我的时候你应该知道 我有多需要人照顾 and you knew how needy I was when you married me.
就这样? 这就是你要和我说的一切? That's it? That's all you have to say to me?
如果靠岸了 我们谈起来会更方便一些 Well, it'd be easier to talk if we were back on shore.
你在做什么? What are you doing?
你背叛我这件事已经很糟糕了 It's bad enough you've betrayed me.
现在我还得听你发牢骚? Now I have to listen to your whining?
我带了点东西给你 I brought something for you.
加布! Gaby!
那是什么? What's that?
我知道的所有关于你父亲的事情 Everything I know about your father...
生日 他母亲的名字 Date of birth, his mother's name,
最近的住址 last known address.
这里写着一切你要找的东西 It's everything you need to find him.
哇哦 谢谢您 Wow. Thank you.
在拿这个之前... Before you take this...
你得向我保证 You have to promise me something.
好的 Okay.
你不能把他带到这来... You cannot bring him here...
或者告诉他我在哪儿 Or even tell him where I am.
为什么? Why?
我最后一次见到你父亲的时候 The last time that I saw your father,
就是告诉他我要离开他的时候 it was to tell him that I was leaving him,
我那时带着你 and I was taking you with me.
他平时就经常打我 He, uh, he always liked to slap me around a little bit.
但是那天晚上是... But that night was...
无法想像的 Unimaginable.
我记得不是很清楚 I don't remember everything.
最后我的状况很糟糕 I-I was in pretty bad shape by the end of it.
不过他扇我耳光把我打到墙上之后 But once he was done slamming my face into the wall,
他开始掐我脖子 he started choking me,
他一直叫喊着他要杀了我 and he kept screaming that he was gonna kill me.
我最后的念头是 And the last thought that I had...
如果我死了你该怎么办 Was what would happen to you if I died.
所以你不能告诉他我在哪儿 So you can't tell him where I am.
你就是不可以 You just can't.
也许你可以明天和我老师说说... Maybe you can talk to my teacher tomorrow...
让她给我换个作业吧 And have her give me another assignment.
谢谢 Thank you.
我说过的 如果你们想要个树屋... I told you, if you're gonna have a tree house...
你们得保持它的整洁 You've gotta keep it clean.
给你 把这些拿着 然后放到门口去 Here. Take these and dump them by the front door.
嘿 该死的你们在干吗?! Hey, what the hell are you doing?!
妈妈 快点 下车 Mom, hurry. Get out of the car.
不 不 不 你们不能把东西放那里 Hey! Hey, hey! Hey! No, no, no. You are not leaving those here.
嗨 老妈 Hi, mom.
- 把她带走 - 不 勒奈特 Take her away. Unh-unh, Lynette.
你也许可以欺负弱小 You may have been able to strong-arm the weak one,
- 但是没办法欺负我 - 我才不是弱小! but not me. I'm not weak!
- 那你找我是干吗? 别挡路 - 露西 每次吵架的结果都是 Then why did you call me? Get out of our way. Lucy, every fight we have ever had
我的脚踩在你脖子上 has ended with my foot on your neck.
我保证这一次结果也会是这样 I guarantee that this one's gonna end the same way, too.
也许我们应该到里面谈谈 Maybe we should talk inside.
经常有人问我为什么律法告诉我们 (Torah 圣经旧约首五卷) I'm often asked why the torah tells us
婴儿必须在出生后的第八天 进行包皮切除仪式 that a child must be circumcised on the eighth day of his life.
有人说那段时间刚好 可以找到一个好的伙食筹办者 Some say that's how long it takes to get a decent caterer.
仪式很有意思 What a lovely ceremony.
我是黛博拉的朋友布瑞 I'm Deborah's friend Bree.
我有一个可能会非常令人惊讶 以及奇怪的请求 I have what may strike you as a very odd request.
相信我 肯定是我听过的 Trust me, it won't be one I haven't heard.
你能不能 Hmm. Do you think, while you're here,
也帮我的孩子进行包皮切除吗? do could do a bris for my baby, too?
好吧 的确是第一次听到 Okay, new one.
你真厉害 Good for you.
我知道在黛博拉的仪式上做这个 有点喧宾夺主 I know it might seem tacky piggybacking on Deborah's bris,
不过... 我们可以在书房里悄悄地做 but... we could do it in the den very quietly.
就像我们看到的 Uh, well, as we just saw,
没有偷偷摸摸做包皮切除这档子事 there's so such thing as a quiet bris.
你说你的名字叫布瑞? You said your name was Bree?
是的 布瑞·霍奇... Yes, Bree Hodge...
原姓拉比诺维茨(犹太姓) Born rabinowitz.
你不说 我可真不会把你当成个犹太人 Huh. I wouldn't have taken you for Jewish.
我已经对此习以为常了 I should only have a nickel for every time I've heard that.
你难道不想要一个合适的包皮切除仪式 Don't you want a proper bris
- 和你的朋友家人一起? - 我也想呀 with your friends and family there? I would love that,
但是我丈夫奥森... 又自大又固执的非犹太人 but my husband Orson... Big, stubborn, goy.
他说我们什么都不要做 He says we should do nothing
等孩子长大了自己决定 and let the child decide when he's grown.
我们没法选择自己的父母 我们总可以选择自己信仰的宗教吧? We don't pick our parents... We should pick our religion?
我觉得不和你丈夫商量 就做这个不太好 I wouldn't feel right doing this without speaking to your husband.
他出城去了 而且... Well, he's out of town, and...
我们家Benjamin今天刚好8天大 Our Benjamin is 8 days old today.
如果我不做这个的话 And if I don't do this,
我的祖母... my grandma...
泽伊特l... Tzeitel...
永远不会原谅我的 希望她能安息 Will never forgive me, may she rest in peace.
你应该知道这算是契约吧? You realize that this is a covenant?
不管你丈夫怎么说 That whatever your husband says,
你保证 you are promising
把你们家孩子抚养成虔诚的犹太教徒吗? to raise your child as a devout Jew?
我在向上帝保证之前向你保证 I swear to you before god
这个孩子会和我一样 是个虔诚的犹太教徒的 that this child will be as devout a Jew as I am.
嘿 你去哪了? 我醒来 发现你不在了 Hey, where have you been? I woke up, and you were gone.
我们今天很忙 Oh, we had a very busy day.
我们去了干洗店 We dropped off the dry cleaning,
我们往圣诞帐户上存了钱 we deposited money into our Christmas account,
然后我们做了包皮切除 and then we got circumcised.
你做了什么?! You did what?!
也就是一块难看的包皮 他才不会留恋呢 It's just a little unsightly foreskin. He'll never miss it.
干嘛就打住了呢? 为什么不把他的睾丸也切掉算了? So why stop there? Why... why not cut off his testicles?
- 显然你不介意背地里干事情 - 奥森 You obviously have no problem going after mine. Orson.
那你觉得是什么呢 布瑞? Well, what do you call it, Bree?
背着我做这个 忽视我对这件事的感受? Going behind my back, ignoring my feelings on this?
我很认真地思考过了 I gave them very serious consideration.
不过在他血管里流的是我的血 But it's my blood running in his veins,
所以最终由我来决定 which ultimately makes it my decision.
你的血? Your blood?
那我是本杰明什么人? So who am I to Benjamin?
友好的叔叔? 男保姆? A friendly uncle? A male nanny?
当然不是 Of course not.
那你为什么对待我 Then why do you treat me
就好像我不够格当他父亲一样? like I'm anything less than his father?
我是说 在咱们的伪装计划中 I mean, haven't I earned that
我就没有挣得这个资格吗? during the course of our little hoax?
我为了你而撒谎 为了你我在大家面前丢脸 I lied for you. I-I risked public humiliation.
我什么都做了 就差 没在我自己身上装一个假肚子了 I do everything but strap on the pregnancy harness myself.
我知道 I know that.
我把自己当作本杰明的父亲 I see myself as Benjamin's father.
我需要知道你是不是也这样看我 I need to know if you see me that way, too.
我明白你很爱本杰明 I know how much you love Benjamin.
我想... I guess...
我想我得记住一点 I guess I just have to remember
那就是 是爱让我们组成了一个家庭 而不是血缘关系 that it's love that makes us a family and not blood.
你儿子希望你能抱抱他 Your son would like you to hold him.
顺便说一下 他的希伯来名字叫Simcha By the way, his Hebrew name is simcha.
我等下和你解释 I'll explain later.
卡洛斯 谢天谢地你来了 Oh, Carlos, thank god you're here.
维克多在哪儿？ Oh. Where is he? Where's Victor?
我把他撞下船了 Well, I-I clubbed him and knocked him overboard.
他还在海里?! He's in the ocean?!
他要杀我的! 他拿了一把枪 He was going to kill me! He had a gun.
好的 好的 让我想想 Okay, okay, let me think.
你看到他在水中 他没死 对吧? You saw him in the water. I mean, he's not dead, right?
- 没有 他很生气 但是没死 - 所以我们只要叫人去把他捞起来就行了 No, he's mad, but he wasn't dead. So then we'll send someone out there to fish him out.
我们报警 然后把枪给他们 We'll call the police, show 'em the gun
告诉他们这是自卫 and tell that 'em that it was self-defense.
枪还在你那吧? You still have the gun?
在这里面 It's in there.
也许他想用这个来包枪的 Well, maybe he wanted it to muffle the gun.
这里没有枪 There is no gun.
雪撬? Ice pick?
- 你在做什么? - 我在呼叫海滩救护队 What are you doing? I'm calling the coast guard.
和他们说什么呀 说我把我丈夫撞到海里 And tell them what, I knocked my husband overboard
因为他拿着一件毛衣来追我? because he was coming after me with a sweater?
不 快点 我们得离开这 No, come on. We gotta go back out there.
伙计们 这事我可弄不明白了 Guys, I can't be any clearer on this.
- 我才不要把她接回来 - 很明显 该轮到你了 I am not taking her back. It's your turn, simple as that.
我已经跟她在一起四个月了 I've had her for four months.
我患癌症也有四个月了 I also had cancer for four months,
要是能由我来选是跟癌症还是跟她一起 and if I could've asked one of them to leave,
- 我都不知道我会愿意选什么 - 哦 四个月 哭吧 我可跟她住了一年 I'm not sure which I would've picked. Oh, four months, boohoo. I had her for a year,
那可是她加入美酒俱乐部的一年 and that was the year she joined the gin of the month club.
我这没有她住的地方了 I don't have any room for her.
我这4个屋子住了7个人 I already have seven people in four bedrooms.
- 听听… 又打那张"我有个家"的牌了 - 恭喜你 你真多产 There it is... the "I have a family" card. Congratulations. You can reproduce.
我们都为你感到激动 We're all thrilled for you.
为什么你不能把她接回去? Why can't you take her?
你一个人住那么大的房子 You are in that huge house all by yourself
- 你刚离婚 - 戴夫和我刚分开 that you got from the divorce. Dave and I are just separated.
他要是想搬回来还有机会 There's a good chance that he's moving back in,
- 但是妈妈在 他就不能回来 - 哦 我们不能把她扔到大街上去 but not if mom is living there. Well, we can't just throw her out on the street.
我能扔 I can.
我的医生说了 My therapist said
我该变得更加"以莉迪亚为中心"了 it's time for me to be a little more "Lydia-centric."
我真想见识一下这个蠢货 I really wanna meet this jackass.
好吧 我们都有自己的借口 Okay, we all have our excuses,
可我们得像个办法出来 but we gotta figure something out.
别这样 她是我们的妈妈 Come on. She is our mother.
她是吗? Is she?
她可从来没表现得像个妈妈 至少我记得没有 She never acted like one, not that I can remember.
我记得她在我的毕业聚会上喝得烂醉 I remember she showed up drunk to my graduation,
穿着一件居家服 wearing a housecoat.
好了 重点是她去了 Okay, but the point is, she went.
记得那个圣诞节吗? Remember that one Christmas?
我们都下楼了 发现妈妈在圣诞树下 And we came down, and there was mom under the tree,
在我们没开封的礼物中间醉得不省人事 passed out drunk in the middle of all of our unwrapped toys.
弄得我的布娃娃一身薄荷蒸馏酒味 My raggedy Ann smelled like peppermint schnapps.
好了 她不完美 明白了 Okay, she wasn't perfect, clearly.
但是她给了我们生命 But she gave birth to us.
我们从她那获得生命 现在她需要我们了 We owe her our lives, and now that she needs us,
我们不能就这么把她拒之门外 we can't just turn our back on her.
我知道我应该假装内疚 但我根本不内疚 I know I'm supposed to feel guilty, but I don't.
我也不内疚 I don't either.
说得好像你们不在乎她一样 It's like you're saying you don't care about her.
一点也不? At all?
我不明白 And I don't understand that.
那个... 如果你很在乎 Well... if you care so much,
那这个问题的答案就很明显了 不是吗? then the answer to the problem is sorta obvious, isn't it?
我们可以在经济上支持 We can help with money.
我一个月给你100块 I can send you $100 a month.
我不需要你们的钱 Wow. I don't need your money.
我可以自己照顾妈妈 I can take care of my mother all by myself.
勒奈特... Lynette...
你们唯一能帮我的就是 Here's how you can help...
以后几年都不要来拜访 Don't visit for the next few years,
因为看起来 'cause it seems fairly likely
我很可能会一直恨你们 I won't have stopped hating you by then.
我猜她这是让我们离开 I guess that's her way of asking us to leave.
妈妈 奶奶去哪了 Mom, where's grandma going?
去哪儿? Going?
等等 Wait.
那是什么 What's that?
加布! Gaby!
这 让他坐这 Here. Sit him here.
哦 天啊 Oh, my god.
你要杀了我 You tried to kill me.
哦 我又回来了 对吧 Well, I came back for you, didn't I?
- 你在想什么?! - 哦 我以为你要杀了我 What were you thinking?! Well, I thought you were trying to kill me.
我就是想看看如果有机会 I was just trying to talk to you,
要跟你谈谈 see if we still had a chance.
我看到的是你还在纠缠那个人 I see that you're still screwing this guy.
他在我的船上干吗?! And what the hell is he doing on my boat?!
你是问除了救了你的命之外吗? You mean, besides saving your life?
这是个大错误 伙计 That was a big mistake, buddy.
哦 是啊 Oh, right.
是啊 你就是那个说过 Yeah, you're the guy that said
要是有人搞了你老婆 if anyone messed with your woman,
你就用你的钱让他们消失 that you'd use your money to make 'em disappear.
但现在就你跟我 But right now it's just you and me.
没有银行卡你还能怎么样? So how tough are you without your a.T.M. Card?
这就是我要说的 That's what I figured.
啊 维克多! Aah! Victor!
哦 天啊 Oh, my god!
维克多! 哦 哦 我的天! Victor! Oh! Oh, my god!
快点 起来 Come on. Get up! Hey. Hey.
起来 我要看看刀子捅进去时 你脸上的表情 Get up. I wanna see the look on your face when the knife goes in.
啊 Ah!
哦 我很擅长这个 Oh, I'm getting pretty good at that.
好了 我们再把他救上来一次 Okay, let's pull him back in again.
- 什么 你疯了吗 - 哦 我们把他绑起来好了 这样他就不会惹麻烦了 What, are you crazy?! Oh, we'll just tie him up so he doesn't cause any trouble.
维克多! Victor!
- 他去哪儿了 - 维克多! Where'd he go? Victor!
维克多 维克多 Victor! Victor!
也许我们该回去再看看 Maybe we should go back out and look some more.
我们找了6个小时了 他死了 We looked for six hours. He's gone.
哦 天啊 我们杀了他 Oh, my god. We killed him.
这算是自卫 对吧 It was self-defense, right?
- 我是说他想杀了我们 - 我们没法证明 I mean, he was trying to kill us. We can't prove that.
太糟了 加布 This is bad, Gaby.
哦 当人们发现我们跟他在那条船上 就... Oh, when people find out we were on that boat with him, it...
也许他们发现不了 Maybe they won't.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
除了你没人知道我跟维克多在一起 No one but you knows I was with Victor.
我会说他自己出去的 I'll say he went out alone.
我告诉他我要离开他 I told him I was leaving him,
他情绪很低落 然后就自杀了 and he was depressed, suicidal even.
只有一个问题 Only one problem...
船却在这儿 The boat's right here.
也许船还要回到海上去... Then maybe the boat needs to go back out...
自己回去 Alone.
不管你想什么 我能解释 Whatever you're thinking, I can explain.
我认为你是个瘾君子还是个大骗子 I'm thinking that you're a drug addict and a liar,
- 说说你为什么不是 - 苏珊 听着… so say something that's not that. Susan, listen...
跟我一起生活是不是很可怕 Is it so horrible living with me?
我的意思是 我是不是让你这么痛苦 I mean, do I make you so miserable
要是不麻醉自己 你根本无法面对我 that you can't even face me without numbing the pain?
当然不是 Of course not.
我爱你 I love you.
哦 如果你爱我 你就不会这么做! Well, if you did, you wouldn't be doing this!
我的意思是 天啊 麦克 我们有个孩子 I mean, my god, Mike, we have a baby on the way!
我现在能说话吗? Can I say something now?
当然 说啊 哦 我该看着你的眼睛吗? Sure, go ahead. Oh, should I look you in the eyes?
如果那能让你更容易说谎 Does it make it easier for you to lie?
我没告诉过你... I didn't tell you...
这些药的事情 是我不想让你内疚 About the pills 'cause I didn't want you to feel guilty.
我觉得内疚? Me feel guilty?
是的 Yeah.
我给麦克拉斯基夫人装水暖气的时候 When I put in that water heater for McCluskey,
我扭伤了肩膀 I really wrenched my shoulder,
医生让我好好休息 但我没有 and the doctor told me I should take a break, but I didn't
因为那天我们知道你怀孕了 because that was the day we found out you were pregnant.
从那之后 我听到的都是 And from then on, all I have heard about
汽车座位 婴儿车和1万块的幼儿园费 are car seats and strollers and $10,000 preschools.
你知道 那个时候 You know, it didn't seem like
我不能不工作 a really good time for me to quit working.
麦克 我们不需要那些东西 Mike, we don't need any of that stuff.
是啊 Yeah.
你现在这么说 You say that now.
但是当本杰明·霍奇进了哈佛 But when Benjamin Hodge is in Harvard,
我们的孩子却跟他爸爸一样当个水管工人... and our kid's just a plumber like his dad...
我就是想给他 I just want to be able to give him
我从来没有得到过的好东西 the advantages I never got.
天啊 他唯一需要的好东西 God, the only advantage he needs
就是一个不会做这些的健康爸爸 is to have a healthy dad who's not doing this.
你是对的 You're right.
我懂了 好吗? I get it. Okay?
我不会继续了 I'm done.
我想相信你 但就是... I wanna believe you. It's just...
瘾君子很擅长撒谎 That addicts are good at lying.
是啊 Yeah.
好吧 All right...
这怎么样? How about this?
你现在相信我了? You believe me now?
谢谢你 Thank you.
欺骗 Deception...
即使是在最美满的家庭也会发现 You find it in all the best homes.
父母常用来对付好奇的孩子... Parents rely on it when dealing with inquisitive children...
女人用来保守秘密…或大或小 Women use it to help keep secrets... big and small.
情侣们也需要它 Lovers need it
来掩盖麻烦的事故 to cover up inconvenient accidents.
为什么人们会依赖欺骗 Why do people resort to deception?
因为那会让我们 Because it's a handy tool
轻而易举 that helps get us
就如愿以偿 exactly what we're looking for.