《绝望主妇》前情提要 Previously on Desperate Housewives
房都没看 就买下了 Buying place site unseen.
从广告上我们就能看得出来 We could tell from the advertisement
这就是我们想要的房 it was just what we were looking for.
有时 Sometimes...
谁说孩子是你的 Who ever said you were the father?
你不觉得奇怪吗 Didn't you think it was strange
全紫藤郡只有你家的草坪 that you have the only lawn on Wisteria Lane
一周要除三次草 that needed to be mowed three times a week?
我要杀了你 I am going to kill you!
爱人的真面目… The truth about our loved ones...
你让彼德森的老婆 You asked Peterson's wife
转告他千万不要给我升职 to make sure he wouldn't promote me.
所以我辞职了 我现在要做个家庭煮夫 So I quit. I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad.
我们该好好谈谈 We should... talk about this.
你出去工作吧 You're goin' back to work.
…会让你不择手段 ... can lead you into harm's way.
我想我心脏病犯了 I think I'm having a heart attack.
你会平安无事地做完这个手术 You are gonna come through this operation just fine
您好 Hello?
雷克斯十分钟前过世了 Rex passed away about ten minutes ago
非常抱歉 I'm so sorry
德尔非诺先生把我爸带走 杀了他 Mr. Delfino took my dad away to kill him.
现在我要杀了德尔非诺先生 Now I'm gonna kill Mr. Delfino.
紫藤郡的居民中 It was an accepted fact
流传着一个不争的事实 among the residents of Wisteria Lane
艾达·格林伯格嗜酒如命 that Ida Greenberg liked her liquor.
她醉醺醺地出现在针织活动上 People had seen her drunk at sewing bees...
在机动车管理处门前 The department of motor vehicles...
以及卫理公会的首礼拜上 And the first methodist church.
艾达多次试图戒酒 Ida had tried to quit drinking many times,
却欲罢不能 but she couldn't.
一天晚上 一个绝望的片刻 Then one night in a moment of despair,
她祈求上帝 She challenged God
别再让她喝酒无度了 to quench her never-ending thirst.
艾达是幸运的 上帝真的听见了 Luckily for Ida, God was listening.
扎克 听我说 Zach, listen to me
不 No!
现在没法来硬的了吧 Not so tough now, are you?
不 邦戈 Uh! Ow! Oh! Bongo, no!
－邦戈 －邦戈 - Bongo! - Bongo!
就在这一瞬间 艾达意识到 It was at that moment it occurred to Ida
上帝的想法也许深不可测 God may work in mysterious ways,
但他的做法绝不拐弯抹角 but he isn't particularly subtle.
我去世已经一年了 It had been a year since my death,
紫藤郡发生了许多变化 and a lot had changed on Wisteria Lane.
孩子们玩起了新游戏 Children had learned new games.
新的邻居搬了进来 New neighbors had moved in.
烧毁的房子得到重建 Old houses had been rebuilt...
我跟你们说了两次了 I told you guys twice
好了 克雷格 怎么了 Okay, Craig, what's goin' on?
新的悲剧又在上演 And fresh tragedies had occurred.
就在一所房子里 In one house,
一名寡妇正准备 a widow was getting ready
告知她的朋友们 to tell her friends
她的丈夫过世了 of her husband's passing.
但报丧的时间还未到 But until the time was right,
她还在等 She would wait.
而生活 一如既往地 And life, as it tends to do,
还在继续 would go on.
我简直惨不忍睹 我要梳梳头 I look like hell. I need a hairbrush.
梳头也无济于事的 Yeah, um, that's not gonna help.
苏珊 Susan,
罗姆斯诺夫警官来找你调查情况 Officer Romslove is here for your statement.
这是扎克·杨干的吗 Zach Young do that?
不 是她自己摔的 No. She fell
摔破了嘴唇 是个意外 Bit her lip. It was an accident.
好吧 Okay.
跟我说说事情的经过 So, uh, walk me through what happened
我到麦克家来喂狗 Well, I went over to Mike's to feed the dog
－什么 －喂狗 - I'm sorry? - Feed the dog.
然后我一转身 And I turned around,
就看见扎克·杨 and there was Zach Young...
克服的“克” and that's Zach with an "h"...
－他拿把枪指着我 －医生说那个要放嘴里 - pointing a gun at me - The doctor said keep that in
这也情有可原扎克处境艰难 You gotta understand, Zach's had a tough time.
－他的情绪很不稳定 －因为他就是个疯子 - He's got emotional issues - 'Cause he's crazy
我还是认为 他并非有意伤害任何人 Still, I don't think He meant to hurt anybody.
什么啊 他在那就是为了等你回家 Uh, hello! Uh, he was waiting there for you to come home
好杀了你啊 so he could kill you.
这是你回家后发生的事吗 Is that what happened when you got home?
那孩子对你开枪 The kid took a shot at you?
实际上 是苏珊开的枪 Actually, Susan fired the gun.
那也是因为我在跟扎克抢那把枪 That's because I was wrestling it away from Zach
以防他对你开枪 so that he wouldn' t shoot you.
流血了 Oh, there's blood
我们能以后再谈吗 她现在有点乱 Could we do this later? She's kind of a mess right now
好 剩下的问我就行了 Yeah, I think I can fill in the rest for you.
那太感谢了 I'd appreciate it
祝您早日康复 梅尔太太 You feel better, Mrs. Mayer.
多谢 Thanks.
疼死了 Ow! That hurts
－我再去给你拿点冰块 －好的 - I'm gonna get you more ice. - Okay
不 我跟你说 No, I'm tellin' you,
苏珊冲向那孩子时 简直怒不可遏 Susan really flew off the handle when she jumped the kid.
那你是说 这不过是一次家庭内部争执 So you're saying this was more of a domestic squabble?
是的 绝对是 Definitely, yeah.
我们必须要提起诉讼吗 Are we required to press charges?
那也不一定 Well, you're not really required,
但事态严重到开枪 But it's something
你真的该好好考虑清楚 you should really consider when a handgun is involved.
约翰 . John!
－你怎么进来的 －我知道你家的钥匙藏哪 - How did you get in here? - I know where you keep the key.
来点含羞草酒 Mimosa?
不 我怀孕了 你个混蛋 No, I'm pregnant, you jackass
你这杯我是用矿泉水做的 I made yours with seltzer.
你知道你都做了什么吗 Do you have any idea what you've done?
昨天在法庭上你耍的那点小把戏 That little stunt you pulled yesterday in the courtroom
能让卡洛斯判八年 could get Carlos sent away for eight years
我早知道这么做你会有点生气 Yeah, I thought you might be a little mad about that.
但一旦你冷静下来 But once you calm down,
你会发现 这样一来就剩我们两个人了 you'll see that it's just the two of us.
这多好啊 It's gonna be awesome
你还带了行李来 You brought luggage?
他已经不在了 我们再也不用偷偷摸摸了 He's gone We don't have to sneak around anymore
我们可以光明正大地交往 We can have a real relationship.
这对我们三个都有好处 It's what's best for the three of us
我们三个 这对卡洛斯能有什么好处 The three of us? How exactly does that benefit Carlos?
我说的是我的孩子 I'm talking about my baby
你怎么知道是你的 You don' t know it's your baby
我都不知道是谁的 I don't even know it's your baby.
我也不想知道 因为已经无所谓了 And I don't wanna know 'cause it doesn't matter.
怎么 你不爱我了 So what, you don't love me?
在你告诉我丈夫 Well, up until the point that you told my husband
我们有一腿之前 we were having an affair,
我倒是非常喜欢你 I was quite fond of you.
但自从那天之后 Since then...
恨还来不及 not a fan!
嗨 Hey.
你怎么会让他们在早餐前画手指涂鸦 Oh, why on earth would you let them finger paint before breakfast?
现在收拾家是我的事了 It's my job to clean that up now,
所以我说了算 对吧 so it's my call, right?
说得对 抱歉 You're right I'm sorry
我还以为面试是下午1点呢 Hey, I thought the meeting wasn't until 1.
在那之前 我还有好多事要搞定 Oh, I have a thousand things to do before that...
向布里借一条上好的围巾 Borrow a decent scarf from Bree,
买一支我自己喜欢的口红 Buy a lipstick I don't hate...
－妈妈 妈妈 瞧啊 －别别别 - Mommy, mommy, look! - Aah! No! No!
谁也不要碰妈妈 好吗 No, nobody touches mommy, okay?
我爱你们 我也爱你们的手指涂鸦 I love you, I love your finger painting,
但你们要是用这些小脏爪碰到我 but if you touch me with those messy hands,
我就把它们剁下来 I will cut them off
一边玩去吧 Go on Off. Good.
没关系的 It's okay
－有点紧张吧 －谁 我吗 - A little nervous? - Who, me?
我都七年没工作过了 I've been out of work for seven years,
我现在都这个岁数了 I'm a woman of a certain age
还要跻身这个年轻高于一切的行业 in a business that values youth above all else
－我有什么好紧张的 －你经验丰富 - Why should I be nervous? - You are experienced.
人又聪明 You are brilliant
你一定能顺利通过面试的 You are going to nail this job interview, okay?
谢谢 不 别过来 Thank you Uh, no I can't
你全身都… 这么… You're very... so...
谢谢 这儿 Thank you. Here
手机忘了 Oh, my cell phone.
勒奈特 嗨 我是布里 Lynette, hi, it's Bree
但愿我没打来太早 I do hope I'm not calling too early.
什么 Hmm?
你当然可以借那条围巾 Oh, of course you can borrow that scarf.
我会把它熨好给你 I'll press it for you.
我有点事要说 Um, I have, uh, some news.
雷克斯过世了 Rex died
他们不是要做手术了吗 怎么回事 I thought they were gonna operate What happened?
显然是雷克斯的心脏 就此怠工了 Apparently Rex's heart just gave out.
我的天啊 Oh, my god.
我们什么时侯能见到布里 So when can we see Bree?
她说她会打电话的 She said she was gonna call.
她有很多事情要处理 She's gotta a lot of things to do,
准备葬礼什么的 Planning for the funeral, that sort of thing
我看她可没有那么忙 She doesn't look that busy to me.
嗨 嗨 你在这儿做什么 Hi, hi. What are you doing out here?
我在等雷克斯的母亲 Oh, I'm just waiting for, uh, Rex's mother
她随时可能出现 She's gonna be here any second
亲爱的 我们非常遗憾 Honey, we are so sorry.
你们谁喝豆奶吗 Oh, do one of you drink soy milk?
我今天早上从冰箱里清出来的 I was cleaning out the fridge this morning,
雷克斯是家里唯一喝豆奶的 And Rex is the only one who drinks it.
我周五刚买的 不想就这么扔了 I just bought it on Friday I'd hate to throw it away
真可惜了 What a waste
亲爱的 Oh, sweetie
宝贝 你发泄出来吧 Honey, you can let it out.
不不 我现在还不能崩溃 No No, I can't afford to fall apart right now.
为什么 Why?
你们马上就会明白了 You're about to find out
布里 Bree!
就停在这 到了 Oh, stop here This is the house.
那是 Is that.
是的 她就是雷克斯的母亲 Yes, that is Rex's mother.
难以置信 I can't believe it.
就像是可怕的噩梦 It's like some hideous nightmare
我这辈子算完了 My life is over!
看来你脱离工作已有七年之久 It appears there's a 7-year gap since your last position.
是去休假了还是怎么地 What, did you take some time off?
我是个全职妈妈 I was a stay-at-home mom.
我倒是希望那能算是休假 I wish it had been time off
－男孩还是女孩 －一个女孩 - Boy or girl? - A girl...
－和三个男孩 －四个孩子 - And three boys - Four kids?
是的 不过他们绝对不会影响我工作 Yeah, of course, they won't get in the way of the job
因为从现在开始 我丈夫要做全职爸爸了 because my husband's staying home with them from now on.
我很清楚 鱼和熊掌不可兼得 I knew I could never do both jobs justice.
所以我选择独身 That's why I choose not to have a family
我可不想自己为了带孩子看医生 I didn't want to be one of those kind of women- -
或者为了看孩子的舞蹈表演 You know, sloughing things off onto coworkers
就把工作都推给同事 because of a pediatrician appointment or a dance recital.
我总是不好意思麻烦别人 I get really neurotic about putting people out
恕我直言 妮娜 这绝不会成问题 With all due respect, Nina, won't be an issue
家务事我能放得下 I can leave home at home
可是看着孩子们伤心的小脸 And it's not gonna break your heart to
你忍心把他们扔下吗 leave those sad little faces behind?
你在开玩笑吧 Are you kidding?
办公室简直是天堂 This office is paradise...
成年人做事有规有矩 Grown-ups talking about grown-up things.
没有尖叫声 没有呕吐 No screaming, no vomiting,
没有小怪兽躲在桌子底下 no boogers under the table
打死我也别想把我拽出这里 You're gonna have to drag me outta here kicking and screaming...
周末 节假日 随叫随到 Weekends, holidays, whenever
好的 埃德会做最后决定 All right, Ed wants to make the final decision.
所以明天3点你再来 我们再详谈 So I will bring you back tomorrow at 3 for a follow-up.
好极了 谢谢你 Well, that... that sounds great. Thank you.
勒奈特 早点到 好好表现 Lynette, be early. Show me something
好 Okay.
不可能 爸爸没有泰迪熊 No way Dad did not have a teddy bear.
他确实有 He most certainly did.
它叫杜立特尔 Oh, that was Doolittle
你爸爸去哪都要带着它 Your father never went anywhere without him.
请用茶 菲利斯 Here's your tea, Phyllis
瞧 布里 Look, Bree.
这是雷克斯从预科学校毕业时 This was the tie that Rex wore when
戴的领带 he graduated from prep school
我认为该给他戴这条 I think he should wear it
在葬礼上 You know, for the funeral?
菲利斯 这条领带是橙色的 Phyllis, that's an orange tie.
这是他学校的代表色 绿色和橙色 Well, those were his school colors... green and orange
可是他在葬礼上穿的是蓝色衣服 Well, um, he's being buried in a blue suit.
给他换一套衣服不就得了 Maybe he could be buried in a different suit.
我不想换 不过谢谢你的好意了 I don't think so, but thank you, though.
你保存了爸爸的旧漫画书 You, uh, you kept dad's old comic books?
是啊 所有东西我都有保存 Oh, yes, I kept everything.
瞧瞧 Look here.
我甚至保存了他藏在床垫底下的黄色杂志 I even kept the dirty magazine that he hid under his mattress
他以为我不知道 其实我清楚着呢 He didn't think I knew about it, but I did.
看来爸爸很喜欢大胸啊 Well, looks like dad was into big breasts
是呀 Oh, yes
所以我很惊讶他居然娶了你妈 That's why I was surprised when he married your mother.
你还是不理我吗 So you're just not gonna talk to me, is that it?
好吧 Fine
反正我也没什么可说的 I don't need to talk.
行了 对 我有点小外遇 Okay Yes, I had a little affair.
这事不光彩 我也没有以此为荣 It wasn't the best thing to do, and I'm not proud of it
幸好这还不算太糟 But it's not the worst thing that could have happened
没人因此而死 Nobody died.
别摆出一副殉道者的样子 卡洛斯 Oh, don't be such a martyr, Carlos
一个巴掌拍不响 Okay, it takes two people.
多少次 你为了出差 How many times did you go off on your little business trips
把我一个人丢在家里 and leave me alone?
所以 理论上说你也对我不忠 See, so technically, you cheated, too
只不过你的情妇是工作而已 It's just your mistress was your work
不 好吧 那太牵强了 抱歉 No, okay. That was a stretch I'm sorry
卡洛斯 等等 回来 我想要重新来过 Carlos, wait! Come back. Look, I wanna a startover.
我们就要有孩子了 We're gonna have a baby.
这不是你一直梦寐以求的吗 Isn't that what you always wanted?
卡洛斯 等等 Carlos, wait!
我向你道歉了 也说了我爱你 I said I was sorry and I love you!
你还想要什么 What more do you want?!
亲子鉴定 I want a paternity test.
爱波怀特太太 你好 Mrs. Applewhite, hi.
我是布里·范德坎普 I am Bree Van de Kamp.
这是我女儿丹妮尔 and this is my daughter Danielle.
－你好 －你好 - Hello - Hi.
－你好 我叫马修 －他是我儿子 - Hey, I'm Matthew - This is my son.
我本该早点过来拜访的 Hi. I would have been over sooner to introduce myself,
不过最近家里有人去世了 but I'm afraid there's been a death in my family
是我爸爸 My dad
－为你难过 －我爸爸也去世了 - I'm so sorry - I lost my dad, too
我很能体会你现在的心情 I know what you must be going through right now.
谢谢 Thank you
总之 我此次前来 有个不情之请 Anyway, I'm afraid that my visit has an ulterior motive
我们教堂的风琴手去度假了 The organist at our church is on vacation,
听伊迪·布利特提起 and Edie Britt mentioned that
你当过音乐会的钢琴手 you used to be a concert pianist, and...
能为您演奏 我很荣幸 I would be honored to play for you
我稍后带一些曲子过来 Why don't I bring some sheet music over later
到时我们讨论一下选曲如何 and we can plan some selections?
谢谢 你真是让我如释重负 Thank you. That's just a huge weight off my shoulders.
－这些送给你们 －真是贴心 - Oh, these are for you. - How sweet
布里 我们寡妇得团结起来 Bree, we widows have to stick together.
再见 Bye
假装你父亲死了吗 Pretending your father's dead?
你不觉得这有点病态吗 Don' t you find that a little morbid?
我只是觉得这样可以帮助掩盖我们的事 Well, I just thought it could help our cover story, okay?
可以得到他们支持 Just, you know, win'em over.
宝贝 你一番好意我心领了 Oh, sweetie. I know you meant well.
不过下次别再耍这种小聪明了 But in the future, you leave the cleverness to me
（此屋装有多赛特安保系统）
我们什么时侯用起多赛特安保系统了 Since when are we protected by dorset security?
不 没有 这是为了威慑 万一扎克回来呢 Oh, we're not. It's a deterrent in case Zach comes back.
我跟麦克说我晚上睡不着 I told Mike I didn't sleep last night,
所以他给我弄了这个标志 so he got me this sign.
他很支持我 That guy is so supportive.
这会儿他正在外面 You know he's out right now in a ride-along
和警察一起搜寻扎克的踪影呢 with the police searching for Zach?
－是吗－是啊 - Really? - Yeah
他铁了心要把那孩子绳之以法 He's determined to see that kid behind bars
你明天到学校也要做做宣传让大家都知道 So tomorrow at school I want you to let everybody know
我们新装了这个昂贵的安保系统 that we got this new, expensive security system.
－妈妈 可是 －尽量装作不经意地提起 - Mom, but... - Just work it into the conversation
把话放出去 You know, put the word out there
我得告诉你些事 I've gotta tell you something
重点要说运动检测器 Emphasize the motion detectors.
妈妈 停 停 听我说 Mom, stop, stop. Listen.
什么 你要说什么 What? What is it?
昨天我偷听到 麦克告诉那个警察 Yesterday I overheard Mike telling that cop
他不想起诉扎克 that he didn't wanna press charges against Zach.
他把整件事说得好像是你的过失 He made the whole thing sound like it was your fault.
我的过失 My fault?
（产前及初生婴儿护理）
我需要做个亲子鉴定 Hi. Uh, I need a paternity test.
好 我们给你安排时间做检查 Well, we'll just schedule you for an exam.
不 不是那意思 我不需要做测试 Oh, no, no I-I don't need to take a test
我只是想让我丈夫放心 I am just trying to reassure my husband
让他相信我内心深知的事实 of what I know is true in my heart
所以只要你给我看看别人的测试结果 So if you could just slip me someone else's test results,
我就可以给自己弄一份 I could make my own.
圣诞节时我装了修片程序 I got Photoshop for Christmas
别这样 Oh, come on
你看起来像是个爱找乐子的女孩 You look like a fun-loving girl.
我敢肯定你也遇到过棘手状况吧 I am sure you've been in a couple hairy situations of your own.
就算我化的妆比较前卫 Just because I choose to express myself
也并不意味着我就容忍通奸行为 doesn't mean that I condone adultery.
抱歉 Sorry.
亲子鉴定结果吗 Paternity test results?
了解 我跟你同病相怜 I know I'm in the same situation.
－是吗 －是的 - Really? - Mm-hmm
我发现诊所把事情都搞砸了 I just found out the clinic screwed up
给我的卵子竟然来自同性恋 and gave me an egg that belonged to some lesbian.
那卵子本来是要移植给她的同性爱人的 It was supposed to be implanted in her lover,
这会儿我丈夫可担心了 and now my husband's freaking out
恐怕我们的孩子也会是同性恋 because he thinks that our baby's gonna be gay!
是这样啊 那我们情况有点不同 Okay We're in slightly different situations.
想不想去喝杯咖啡然后聊聊呢 But do you wanna get a cup of coffee and talk about it?
好 那倒不错 谢谢 Yeah. That'd be nice. Thanks.
当然 我们女人得团结起来 Yeah. Us girls have to stick together.
我们不能让那张讨厌的纸片儿毁了自己的生活 We shouldn't let that stupid piece of paper ruin our life.
对 Yeah!
虽然我认识雷克斯已经很多年了 Obviously, I've known Rex for years,
但说到写悼词这件事 but when it comes to writing a eulogy,
我希望家人能够提供尽可能多的材料 I like as much input from the family as possible.
好 什么样的材料 Oh Well, um, what kind of input?
他的意思是逸闻趣事 Oh, well, he means anecdotes,
小故事之类 little stories
你是这个意思吧 神父 Isn't that what you mean, reverend?
是的 不过还有 Well, yes, but, uh, also...
我想你可能需要帮忙 I thought that you might need some help,
所以昨晚我一夜没睡 so last night I stayed up all night
努力回忆了雷克斯的快乐时光 and tried to remember funny things
以及能充分展现他风采的事情 and moments that said so much about Rex as a person.
天哪 你写了多少页 My How... how many pages do you have there?
15页 15
你没必要 Well, you're hardly going to have
把那都写上 神父 to write anything at all, reverend.
其中一些趣闻是无价的 Some of those anecdotes are just priceless.
菲利斯 你写的这些都是 Phyllis, these are all things
雷克斯上大学以前的事情了啊 that happened to Rex before he went to college
那又怎样 So?
你不觉得悼词中多一点 Well, don't you think it'd be nice if reverend devoted
他婚后的生活 不是更好吗 part of the eulogy to his life after he was married?
是啊 那是当然 Oh, well, yes, of course
这点神父是会提到的 the reverend will mention that part of his life.
不仅仅是提到 He's going to do more than mention it.
而且应该是悼词的主要部分 That's the part he'll focus on.
至于童年逸事 我想 In fact, I think three anecdotes from
三个就足够了 Rex's childhood is more than enough.
这样也好 Um, that... that seems fair.
好吧 你决定了就好 Well, whatever you think is appropriate
好的 Fine
只是我觉得 I just thought
如果要回顾雷克斯一生中的某段时光 if we were going to focus on a time in Rex's life,
为何不选择他最快乐的日子呢 that we might as well focus on the happiest time.
好了 来讨论下花吧 Let's talk flowers.
百合是传统的选择 Now I know lilies are traditional,
不过我能帮你们订购一些白玫瑰 but I think I can get you a deal on some white roses.
神父 您要是不对她刚才过激的言谈 Reverend, if you don't call her on
说点什么的话 that incredibly insensitive comment,
我就要发火了 I'm gonna lose it.
我想她不是那个意思 I'm sure she didn't mean it the way it sounded
－我想我表达得非常清楚 －女士们 - I knew exactly what I was saying - Ladies...
雷克斯一生最幸福的时光不是他的童年 The happiest time in Rex's life was not his childhood
他乐于为人父 为人夫 He loved being a husband, and he loved being a father
这么说吧 为人父可能没错 Well, he may have loved being a father,
不过你们的婚姻简直就是场灾难 but your marriage was a disaster.
菲利斯 你不妨直说吧 Phyllis, is there something you'd like to say?
最后的这几年里 他被你折磨得苦不堪言 You made the last years of Rex's life miserable,
现在他走了 And now he's dead,
现在他再也没有机会享受幸福了 and he'll never have another chance at happiness
我想葬礼你不用来了 You are no longer invited to the funeral
什么 What?
－你不是认真的吧 －是的 我很认真 - You're not serious. - Oh, yes, I am.
我还会请保安. I am going to hire security,
他们会手持电棍 and those security men are going to have sticks,
只要你敢接近教堂半步 and if you so much asset foot in that sanctuary,
我将命令他们用电棍赶走你 they will be instructed to beat you with those sticks.
布里 你在说气话 Bree, this is your grief talking...
神父 如果你不和我站在一边相信我 Reverend, if you don' t back me up on this, so help me,
我将不在你的教堂举办葬礼 I will pull the funeral out of your church
－布里 －我是认真的 - Bree! - I am not kidding
我会马上脱离教会 让你头痛万分 I will go nondenominational so fast, it will make your head spin.
苏珊 我听说扎克的事了 Susan, I heard what happened with Zach
你还好吧 How are you doing?
－我没事 麦克在吗 －在里面 - Fine. Is Mike here? - Inside.
天哪 你一定吓坏了吧 Jeez You must have been terrified.
可怜的费莉西娅都被他搞得住医院了 I mean, he put poor Felicia in the hospital
－他用枪柄打你了吗 －没有 - Did he pistol-whip you? - No
拜托 说说看啊 Oh, come on. You can tell me
－被扇耳光了吧 －没有 - Did he slap you around? - No.
别误会 我只是为你平安无事感到激动而已 Well, don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled that you're okay.
你也知道 挟持者总会对人质 It's just that when someone holds someone else hostage,
非常凶狠的 They usually rough'em up a little.
并非你想的这样 It wasn't like that.
－都没踢你几下 －伊迪 - Not even a little kicking? - Edie...
有人找你 Someone to see you
－你还好吧 －很好 - Well, hey, how's it going? - Good
我听到谣言 So there's a rumor going around
说你不会起诉扎克 that you don't wanna press charges against Zach.
不会是真的吧 Is that true?
是的 Yeah.
这… 我不明白 Wow Um... I find that... confusing
如果我们把事情闹大 Look, if we make a big deal out of this,
他会被送进牢房的 he could end up going to prison.
他当时拿枪直指我的脸 我觉得让他蹲牢房挺好 He held a gun to my face, so I'm thinking, "good."
我进过监狱 他受不了的 I've been to prison He couldn't' t handle it.
－谁在乎啊 －我 - Who cares? - I care
你该在乎的人是我 Well, you should care more about me.
我可是你的女朋友 我们就要住一起了 I'm your girlfriend We're moving in together.
他不过是个邻居 你根本就不认识他 He's just a neighbor. You don' t even know Zach.
我想我了解的已经够多了 他是个好孩子 I know enough about him to know that deep down, he's a good kid.
麦克 他想要你的命 Mike, he wanted to kill you
可他没有 But he didn't.
你从来不问为什么扎克想要开枪杀你 You never asked me why Zach wanted to shoot you.
－你不觉得奇怪吗 －这重要吗 - Aren't you curious? - Does it matter?
扎克说你绑架并杀害了他的父亲 Zach said you kidnapped his father so you could kill him.
我没有杀保罗·杨 I didn't kill Paul Young
我相信你 不过你得告诉我为什么扎克会这么说 I didn't think you did. Now tell me why Zach does
我找到了一些证据 I found some evidence
证明是保罗杀死了黛德丽 that suggested that Paul murdered Deirdre
16年前 黛德丽生了个孩子 16 years ago Deirdre had a baby,
保罗和他的妻子拐走了孩子 and Paul and Mary Alice Young kidnapped him
当自己亲生的抚养 and raised him as their own.
黛德丽追到了紫藤郡 Deirdre tracked him down here to Wisteria Lane
试图向他们要回孩子 and demanded her baby back
然后保罗就杀害了她 So Paul killed her?
事实是玛丽·艾莉丝动的手 Actually, it was Mary Alice.
我的天哪 Oh, my god.
麦克 Mike?
我帮你接了电话 I answered your phone.
警察找你 It's the police.
你好 我是德尔非诺 Yeah. Delfino.
是吗 You did?
好的 我20分钟后到 Okay, I can be there in 20 minutes
扎克死了 Zach's dead.
他们要我去辨认尸体 They want me to come identify the body.
谢谢你们赶过来 Thanks for coming down
鉴于这孩子的父亲失踪了 Since the kid's father is missing,
我们只好请你们来了 we didn't know who else to call
你们准备好了吗 So. You folks ready?
他不是扎克 That's not Zach
你确定吗 You're sure?
他用枪指了我6个小时 He had a gun in my face for six hours.
我很清楚他长什么样 I know what he looks like.
－我们能说几句话吗 －当然 - Can you give us a minute? - Sure.
－扎克是你的儿子吗 －是的 - Zach is your son, isn't he? - Yeah
非常确定 I'm pretty sure
你什么时侯知道的 How long have you known?
保罗·杨告诉我的 Paul Young told me
我进监狱前 黛德丽怀孕了 Deirdre got pregnant before I went to jail
可她告诉我流产了 and, um, told me she had an abortion
我想她撒了谎 Guess she lied.
我懂了 I see
我把保罗带去沙漠的时侯 When I took Paul out to the desert,
我很愤怒 想要让他血债血还 And I was so angry, I just wanted to hurt him...
为黛德丽报仇 the way they hurt Deirdre.
可后来他告诉我 But then when he told me
他和玛丽·艾莉丝在照顾黛德丽的小孩 that he and Mary Alice had taken care of Deirdre's baby...
也就是我的孩子 my baby.
我的怒气一下消失了 That rage just went away.
再也没有了报复的念头 Kept me from doing something really stupid
我先打车回家了 好吗 I'm gonna take a cab home, okay?
妈妈 奶奶要走了 你去跟她说说 Mom, grandma's leaving, all right? You have to talk to her
不可能的 如果你们听见她都说了些什么 No, I don't. If you heard the things that she said to me...
好的 我承认她很刁蛮 Look, I'm sure she was a real bitch, okay?
但怎么来说我们始终是一家人 But she's family, so that makes her our bitch
请允许她去见爸爸最后一面吧 Let her say good-bye to dad
她对我实在是太过分了 She went out of her way to be cruel to me
我不想在葬礼上看见她 I don't want her at the funeral
妈妈 如果你不让奶奶参加葬礼 Mom, if you don't let grandma come,
我这辈子也不会原谅你 I will never forgive you.
我要你帮忙了吗 Did I ask for your help?
你知道爸爸也想她去的 You know Dad would want her there.
雷克斯和我的婚姻的确不尽完美 It's true Rex and I did not have the perfect marriage,
但这18年来 我尽了全力 but for 18 years I tried my very best,
仅凭这一点 你也应该尊重我 and for that I am entitled to your respect.
这点没错 Of course you are.
我当然尊重你 Of course I respect you.
那你说那些话是为了什么 Well, then why did you say those things to me?
我只是觉得对你生气会更容易一些 I guess I thought it would be easier to be angry at you
我已经不能对雷克斯发脾气了 than to be angry with Rex
他怎么能如此残忍 I mean, what was he thinking,
就这么离开我 leaving me?
我邀请你参加他的葬礼 I do want you to come to the funeral.
这对我来说太重要了 布里 You don't know what that means to me, Bree.
谢谢你 Thank you
谁帮我拿下行李 Someone should get my luggage
好了 马上出发 汤姆 Okay, let's get outta here Tom?
－在这呢 －妈妈 - Yeah? - Mom
怎么了 What's the matter?
我的背 拉伤了 我帮帕克玩倒立 My back... I threw it out I was holding Parker upside down.
好吧 来 抬脚 Okay. Come on Give me your feet
怎么样 好点了吗 How's that? Is that better?
亲爱的 你能推掉面试吗 Honey, can you push the interview?
我想我现在这样 Because I don' t think I'm gonna be able
没办法照看佩妮的 to take care of Penny like this.
拜托 别这样 Don't do this to me.
我没时间打电话 I don't have time to make a phone call,
我向那个女人保证过 and I promised that woman
不会让孩子们影响到我的工作 I would not let the kids interfere with this job
这保证可真够愚蠢的 But that was a stupid promise
记得你在图森出差那次吗 Remember that time when you were away
当时我发高烧 in Tucson, and I had a 104 fever,
但还是坚持带孩子们过了万圣节 but I still managed to take the kids trick-or-treating?
亲爱的 Honey.
我认为这样没用的 I don't think that's helping
汤姆 妈妈就好比是急诊室的医生 Tom, being a mom is like being an E.R. Doctor
没有休假的 快起来 起来 There are no days off, so get up! Get up!
好的 Okay.
天哪 你在哭吗 Jeez, are you crying?
算是吧 Just a little
我没事的 你走吧 走 I'll be fine You just... go Just go
看在上帝的份上 Oh, for god sakes
给他们点颜色看看 亲爱的 Give 'em hell, honey
你… You...
你好 斯加沃太太 你可以进去等 Hi, Mrs. Scavo. You can wait inside.
－他们一会儿就到 －好的 - They'll be right in - Great
你是 Listen, uh...
－斯图 －斯图 - Stu. - Stu.
你看起来像是个既聪明又负责的小伙子 You look like a bright, uh, responsible young man,
我猜你肯定喜欢小孩子 对不对 and I bet you just love kids. Am I right?
埃德·费拉拉 勒奈特·斯加沃 Ed Ferrara, Lynette Scavo
非常感谢你们给我这个机会 Thanks so much for having me in.
很高兴见到你 请坐 Nice to meet you Please, sit
谢谢 Thank you
我们得速战速决 We're gonna have to make this quick
我得去赶五点的飞机 I gotta leave in five to catch a plane
我弄到一张凯尔特人比赛的内场票 I got Celtic tickets on the floor
简历写得不错 This is a great resume
你在唐纳休工作过 I see you worked with the Donahues.
我去年抢了他们奥斯陆糖果的生意 You know, I snaked the Oslo candy account from 'em last year
那你做过很多广告文案吗 So you've done a lot of copy work?
是的 但是我到了森&西蒙斯公司以后 I have But when I moved over to Cenn and Simmons,
还涉及了更广泛的广告宣传类型 I got to do a broader range of campaigns.
电… T...
视… V...
和… And...
广播 radio...
广告牌 billboards.
我出去一下好吗 Could you excuse me for a minute?
抱歉 Please?
怎么回事 What's going on?
不知道 I have no idea.
斯图 你是个蠢蛋 Stu, you are an idiot.
你是个蠢蛋 大蠢蛋 You're an idiot, an absolute idiot.
大家好 Hi.
大家好 跟你们介绍一下佩妮 Ha! Guys, I'd like you to meet Penny.
我所有的灵感都来源于她 She gives me all my best ideas.
你带着孩子来面试 You brought your baby to the interview
－以后不会了 －最好不会 - It won't be an ongoing thing. - You bet it won't
妮娜 没事的 Nina, it's fine
可不可以请这位小姐保持安静 Any chance we can get that little lady to be quiet?
除非我给她换个尿片 Not until I change her diaper.
请等我两分钟好吗 Could you just give me two minutes?
－对不起 赶飞机 －那… - Sorry. Plane - Well...
那我就一块儿来了 then watch me multitask.
我的观点是这样的 Here's how I see it
你们把公司打理得井井有条 You guys run a really good shop,
但倘若你想让公司更上一层楼 but if you want your agency to go to the next level,
就必须专注于两件事 you have to focus on two things.
第一 你们得赢些奖来撑门面 First, you've gotta win some awards.
做些公益广告 无偿广告之类的 Do some P.S.A.S, pro bono stuff,
别怕花钱 whatever it takes,
因为不论公众是否认可 because whether they admit it or not,
客户只关心你们的奖品陈列柜能否装满 clients care about what's in your trophy case
第二 公司的网站 Two: Your web site.
这是公司的脸面 客户的第一印象 It's the first thing a client's gonna look at,
可是导航栏太逊了 连网站地图都没有 and it's hard to navigate. There's no site map.
让那些玩不转电脑的人 无从入手 It just wasn't built for people who grow up without computers
好了 第三… There. And third...
没有第三了 I don't have a third
好了 就这样吧 Yeah, so that's... it.
好的 Okay.
你被雇用了 You're in.
－真的吗 －是的 - Seriously? - Yeah
对面的办公室归你了 我得闪了 Take the office across the hall. I gotta run
好极了 Well, all right!
好吧 我知道 我会收拾干净的 Okay, obviously, I'm gonna clean that up
看好了 白纸黑字 这是你的孩子 Here it is in black and white It's your kid.
干吗 你怎么不笑啊 What? Why aren't you smiling?
这还不够 It's not enough.
你想要什么 父亲节卡片吗 What do you want, a Father's Day card?
你知道我对你唯一的要求就是忠诚 You knew the one thing that I demanded was fidelity,
但你还是背着我跟别人乱搞 and you still went out and screwed around behind my back.
你知道我最不愿意的就是生小孩 You knew the one thing I didn't want was a child,
你还是耍花招让我怀了孕 and you still tricked me into getting pregnant
这两件事没可比性 It's not the same thing.
太对了 你做得更绝 Damn straight. What you did was worse
我们都不是什么好人 是不是 We're not very nice people, are we?
没错 都不是 No, we're not
刚结婚那会儿 Oh, when we got married,
我还以为我们会很幸福 I thought we were gonna be so happy
我也是 Me too
想开点 至少我们还有钱 Look on the bright side. At least we're still rich
感谢老天爷 Thank god for that
我突然觉得… So it occurred to me.
我在停尸房里表现得太冲动了 That I was really rude at the morgue.
一听到扎克的身世 我就只顾着吃惊 When you told me about Zach, I was so busy freaking out,
都忘了要恭喜你 I never actually congratulated you.
恭喜我什么 Congratulated me?
我知道你一直想要一个孩子 Yeah, I know how much you've always wanted a child,
现在终于有了 and now you have one
谢谢 Thanks.
很显然 事情有点出人意料 Obviously, it was quite a shock,
但是不管怎么想 这都是个好消息 But it's good news any way you slice it
你怎么了 What's wrong?
你应该很想 So naturally you'll be wanting to...
和他父子相认 这要花些时间 have a relationship with him, and that takes time,
－许多时间 －苏珊 - plenty of time. - Susan...
但是全世界这么多难缠的孩子 And out of all the mixed-up teenagers in the world,
只有扎克一个人是我不能接受的 Zach is just the one kid that I can't be around.
我不能让他接近朱莉 I can't have Julie around him
所以 我想跟你说… So, what I'm trying to say is
我们不能搬到一起住了 We can't move in together
但是我为你高兴 But I am so happy for you
真的 你有儿子了 你应该很高兴 Really, you have a child, and that is good for you.
有没有可能… Isn't there any way...
没有 没 我… No, No, I...
很抱歉 So sorry.
我 我 I'll... I'll,
再见 I'll see you around.
今天 大家齐聚一堂 Today we've come together to celebrate the life
送别雷克斯·范德坎普医生 of Dr. Rex Van de Kamp.
他戴的是什么 What is he wearing?
啥 What?
我一小时前离开他的时侯 I left him an hour ago,
他脖子上还系着拉夫·劳伦领带 and he was wearing Ralph Lauren
但这是雷克斯的心愿 But it's what Rex would have wanted.
他热爱那所预科学校 He loved that prep school
…但无论他身着何物 but which ever coat he was wearing,
雷克斯都能将无可抗拒的热情 Rex always brought an irresistible enthusiasm
与不可动摇的决心带给… and a single-minded determination to...
因此 在悼念雷克斯·范德坎普逝世的同时 So as we mourn the passing of Rex Van de Kamp,
我们要感谢上帝 we give thanks to God,
因为上帝 我们的哀悼才充满诚意 for we do not grieve as those who have no hope
因为我们虔诚地信仰着上帝 but as those who place their trust in God
等一下 Wait!
先别盖棺 Do not close that coffin.
把领带给我 Give me your tie.
啥 What?
把领带给我 Give me your tie.
给她 快给她 Give it to her! Give it to her
你看起来 好极了 You look magnificent.
看来是玛丽·艾莉丝杀了扎克的生母 So it looks like Mary Alice killed Zach's birth mother
好把扎克留在自己身边 in order to keep her from taking Zach away
天啊 Oh, my god.
我知道玛丽·艾莉丝自杀的背后 一定隐瞒着 I mean, I knew Mary Alice had killed herself
什么大秘密 但是 天啊 over something big, but wow.
你们能想象带着这种罪恶感怎么活下去吗 Can you imagine living with that guilt?
保罗和玛丽·艾莉丝把这个秘密 Isn't it bizarre that Paul and Mary Alice
隐瞒了这么久 had this secret all those years,
而我们却一无所知 这不是很奇怪吗 and we didn't' t even know about it?
不没什么奇怪的 No, not really.
我们对自己的邻居到底了解多少呢 I mean, what do we actually know about our neighbors?
我们能看得出他们的草坪修剪得好不好 I mean, we can tell if they keep their lawns nice
看得出他们倒没倒垃圾 or they take their trash cans in,
但当他们举止异常的时侯 but when they do those things,
我们就不再过问了 we stop asking questions
因为要想保持邻里和睦 'cause if people are good neighbors
我们不会去过问别人的家务事 We don't really care what happens behind closed doors.
我自杀的事过去一年了 It had been one year since my suicide...
让你困惑 不是吗 Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
紫藤郡发生了许多变化 And a lot had changed on Wisteria Lane.
人们种上了新的花朵 There were new flowers,
盖起了新的房子 new houses
也结识了新邻居 and new neighbors...
是大家都愿与之为邻的一家人 the kind anyone would want living right next door.
这也是首颂歌吗 Is that another hymn?
我知道这有点丧气 I know It's silly,
但是今天在葬礼上演奏这首曲子时 but playing those songs today at the funeral
让我心潮澎湃 just got me in the mood
这是你外婆最爱的一首 This is your grandmother's favorite
你加黄油了吗 Did you remember butter?
我每晚都做这道菜 I make up this tray every night
当然了 抱歉 Of course you do. I'm sorry
看啊 Oh, look.
你还插了朵花 You added a flower.
这多好看啊 Thought it'd be nice.
有你这样的儿子我真是幸运 How'd I get so lucky to have a child like you?
你确实是在为我们着想 You really do try to think about us
那朵花就是个不起眼的善举 That flower is a small act of kindness.
你以为没人会注意到 You thought no one would notice,
但你仍然做了 and yet you did it anyway.
充分说明了你很有家教 Says a lot about how you were raised.
我想应归功于你 Well, I guess you did your job
还是靠你自己 Thank yourself.
我来端盘子 I'll get the tray.
你拿枪 You take the gun
这朵花的造型真美 It really is a lovely gesture