Live to Survive - MØ
♪我将煎熬度过 往后心碎时日♪ ♪ I live to survive another heartache ♪
♪挺过轮番差池♪ ♪ I live to survive another mistake ♪
我知道 这不是一个理想的感恩节 Look, I know it wasn't the best Thanksgiving,
但尼科会没事的 but Nico is going to be fine.
当然 他是我的宝贝男孩 Yeah, he's my baby boy.
他已经21了 老爸 He's 21, Dad.
是 但他是个敏感的人 Yeah, but he's sensitive.
他不像你一样坚韧强壮 He's not tough and brawny like you.
-强壮 -别为我担心 -Brawny? -Look, don't worry about me
也别担心咱家 or this family.
你要好好玩 认真学 You go have fun, study hard,
找个男朋友 find a boyfriend--
享受青春 be young.
好的 我爱你 Okay. I love you.
你确定你可以开车吗 Are you sure you're good to drive?
我不知道 试试吧 I don't know, we'll see.
我觉得没事 I think so.
再见 小南瓜 Goodbye, pumpkin.
♪轮番差池♪ ♪ Another mistake ♪
♪往后心碎时日♪ ♪ Another heartache ♪
给 拿着你的包 Here, hold your bag.
-我没事 卡罗尔 -好吧 -I'm fine, Carol. -All right.
噢 天啊 惠特妮 嗨 Oh, my God, Whitney, hi!
-感恩节过的怎么样 -挺不错的 -How was your Thanksgiving? -Really good.
等下 你们是从亚利桑那一路开过来的吗 Wait, did you guys drive here from Arizona?
不是要开很久吗 Isn't that a long trip?
对 要开39个小时 而且感觉更多 Yeah, it's 39 hours, and it felt like a lot more.
对 最后住宿和油费花了1500美元 Yup, it ended up costing $1,500 in gas and hotels.
而且我俩还吵了几架 And we got in a couple really bad arguments.
哎 也没改变啥 Ah, wouldn't change a thing.
-嗨 -嘿 -Hi! -Hey.
噢 我的天啊 你家人怎么样 Oh, my goodness. How's your family?
-呃 不错 我们领养了一只狗 -喔 -Uh, good. We adopted a dog. -Ooh.
我妈妈认为这会提高她的支持率 My mom thought it would help her approval ratings.
结果没有 她送还了它 It did not. She returned it.
-哦 -她是个了不起的女人 -Oh. -She is an amazing woman.
我总是在哥们面前为她辩解 I always defend her to my buddies.
-爸 -亲爱的 -Dad! -Well, honey,
我们该出发了 我早上还要上班 we should head out. I gotta work in the morning.
-在亚利桑那 -没错 -In Arizona? -Yeah.
我们会尽量不停下来 We're gonna try not to stop.
-再见 亲爱的 -好 再见 Bye, sweetie. -Okay, bye.
-我们爱你 -开车小心 -We love you. -Drive safe.
-爱你 -我爱你 -Love you. -I love you, pinochle.
♪但你终将看着我 再傲立而起♪ ♪ Watch me, I'm back on my feet ♪
坐了这么久车 我真的很想放松一下 After that long drive, I just really wanna relax.
是啊 Yeah.
惠特妮 金柏丽 Whitney! Kimberly!
我想死你们这些小婊砸了 过来 I missed you bitches. Come here!
-嘿 -嗨 贝拉 -Hey. -Hey, Bela.
呃 抱歉 Uh, sorry,
你衣服去哪了 where are your clothes?
15分钟前就没了 Oh! Gone about 15 minutes ago,
让自己舒舒服服的 做了些零食 got comfortable, made myself some snacks.
我爸妈在家总是唠叨我 My parents were, like, obsessed with me
-让我穿上衣服 -噢 没错 wearing clothes at home. -Oh, totally.
在坐上沙发之前 Would you mind putting a towel down
你可不可以先铺一条毛巾 before you sit on the sofa?
-为什么 -因为你的屁股 -Why? -Because of your butt.
哦 Oh.
-蕾登 嘿 -欢迎回来 -Leighton, hey! -Welcome back!
-嘿 -嗨 大家 -Hey! -Hi, all.
我有件事要宣布 I have an announcement.
你为什么只穿着内衣 Why are you in your underwear?
为了舒适 For comfort.
好了 尼科被开除了 Okay, well, Nico got expelled.
-什么 -哦 我的天 -What? -Oh, my God.
-你是认真的吗 -没错 -Are you serious? -Yeah.
当金柏丽上交被盗的考试文件时 When Kimberly turned in the stolen test files,
学校管理部门展开了一项调查 the administration started an investigation,
一群高年级的西塔男生被开除了 and a bunch of senior Thetas got kicked out.
高年级 他们可是最性感的 The seniors? But they were the hottest ones.
那尼科要怎么办 What's Nico gonna do?
谢天谢地 我爸能够 Well, thankfully, my dad was able to make
捐一大笔钱给康奈尔大学 下学期可以给他个名额 a big donation to Cornell and got him a spot next semester.
而且他们给他买了一辆奥迪 让他振作起来 And they got him an Audi to try and cheer him up.
嗯 好吧 越来越不值得同情了 Mm-kay, this story is getting less sympathetic.
我很抱歉 你哥哥是个美男 I'm so sorry. Your brother was gorgeous,
我会想念在校园里看到他的颜和肉体的 and I'm gonna miss seeing his face and body around campus.
谢谢 Thank you.
你是穿着我的内衣吗 Are you wearing my underwear?
只有胸罩 哦 还有内裤 Just the bra--oh! Bottoms too.
Money Mouth - Diamond Qing
♪ We got one night only ♪
♪ Put your money where your mouth is ♪
♪ And I'ma show you how I bounce ♪
大学女生的性生活
第二季 第 1 集
♪ If I burst, son, I might hurt some ♪
-金柏丽 -嗯 -Kimberly. -Yeah?
翻译 wintersbird
你跟你爸妈说了你失去奖学金的事了吗 Did you tell your parents about losing your scholarship?
噢 我没找到合适的时机跟他们提 Oh, I couldn't find the right time to mention it to them.
你什么意思 你们一起坐了39个小时的车 What do you mean? You were in the car for 39 hours.
校对 wintersbird
对啊 你不是需要一大笔钱吗 Yeah, don't you need, like, a lot of money?
噢 就每年四万二 Oh, just $42,000 per year--
总共十三万八 $138,000 total.
认真的吗 四辆车的价钱了 Seriously? That's, like, four cars,
或者 蕾登五个钱包的总额 or, like, five of Leighton's purses.
老兄 我觉得你应该告诉你父母 Dude, I think you need to tell your parents.
我不能 这会杀了他们的 I can't. It would kill them.
我得自己找到解决办法 I need to figure out a solution on my own.
解决办法就在这 Solution's right here.
让这两个小钱袋帮帮你 Ask one of these two moneybags for it.
她俩的家长都很富有 Their parents are loaded. -Uh...
呃 别指望我 I mean, don't look at me.
蕾登家比我家有钱多了 Leighton's family's way richer than mine is.
我家是政客式的富有 We're politician rich.
我家大部分财产都和 Well, most of my family's wealth is tied up
房产绑定着 还有几匹赛马 in real estate and, um, several racehorses.
噢 你们不用 Oh, you guys don't need
让你们的富裕家庭听起来很穷 to make your rich families sound poor.
我绝不会向你俩伸手要钱 I would never ask either of you for money.
我惹的事 我自己解决 I got myself into this, and I'll get myself out.
等下 我有个主意 如果你需要挣外快 Wait, I've got it. If you need extra money,
你应该在暗网上卖你的脚照 you should sell feet pics on the dark web.
这确实是 That's certainly
-个有趣的主意 -金柏丽 不要 -an interesting idea. -Kimberly, no.
去财务援助办公室申请贷款就行 Just go to the financial aid office and apply for a loan.
不 我的主意更好 你的脚趾很修长 No! My plan is better. You've got long toes,
真的很有市场 and there's a real market for that.
-别说了 -贝拉 -Stop! -Bela!
怎么了 别因为我的好点子 What? Don't shame me
而羞辱我 for my good ideas.
姐妹们 我们学校还缺什么 Guys, what are we always saying this campus needs?
-更好的无线网 -一个体面的 -Better Wi-Fi? -A decent place
能让我染眉毛的地方 to get my eyebrows tinted?
原住民纪念碑 A memorial to Native peoples.
不 No.
一个全女性喜剧杂志社 An all-female comedy magazine.
我在和我朋友 I'm starting one
创立一个 with some friends.
我们要挨个推翻每个 We're toppling the patriarchy
父权制前十名名单 one top-ten list at a time.
杂志不是不流行了吗 Are magazines, like, a thing anymore?
嗯 我们的主要是在Instagram Well, ours would mostly be an Instagram presence,
还有一个时髦的推特号 a sassy Twitter account, and a website
一个我们还没有购买域名的网站 that we haven't bought the domain for yet.
-我们会走红的 -太酷了 -It's gonna be huge. -That's so cool.
-嗯 -贝拉 我得说 -Yeah. -Bela, I have to say,
目前为止 我支持你 so far, I support this.
-搞什么鬼 -我的天 你还好吗 -What the fuck? -Oh, my God, are you okay?
刚是不是有人用牛奶盒砸我 Did somebody just hit me with a milk carton?
噢 老兄 你被砸中了 Oh, man. You just got nailed.
对啊 真是太操蛋了 Yeah, that was so fucked up.
-对啊 我知道 -这一定很 -Yeah, I know. -That must have been
出人意料 really surprising.
呃 当然啊 Um, yeah, it was.
所以即使你没做错任何事 So even though you didn't do anything wrong,
坏事还是发生在你身上 something bad still happened to you?
你为什么这样讲话 Why are you talking like that?
听起来像是一个寓言故事的开头 Yeah, it sounds like the beginning of a parable.
因为我们是他么西塔会的 'Cause we're in fucking Theta,
而你们使得我们的特权被取消了 and you guys got our charter suspended.
等下 所以这一切都是关于 Wait, is that what this is about,
那个愚蠢的考试 the stupid test thing?
你告发了我们 你个告密者 Yeah, you narced on us, you narcs.
你耍的手腕毁了我们 That stunt you pulled fucked us.
我们再也不能办派对了 We can't throw parties anymore.
所以你特么用盒装牛奶砸我 So you threw a fucking milk at me?
-这件毛衣可是花了800美元 -什么 -This sweater cost $800! -What?
是你们这些白痴作弊在先 You dickheads were the ones cheating.
我们只不过是揭发了你们 We were just the whistleblowers.
对啊 而且甚至不是我做的 Yeah, and I didn't even do it.
好吗 是她 All right? It was her.
我好像是要为此负责 I am kind of responsible for that.
我知道 我本想砸你的 但砸偏了 I know. I meant to hit you, but my aim was off.
没关系 从现在开始 It doesn't matter. From now on,
不许你们之中任何一个人踏足西塔 none of you are ever setting foot in Theta again.
他拿走了我的小柑橘 Uh! He took my clementine.
关于发生在你身上的事我很抱歉 I'm so sorry that happened to you.
没事 我习惯了 我和我妈曾在 Eh, I'm used to it. My mom and I have gotten
好几个歌剧院外面被人泼血 blood thrown on us outside multiple operas.
姐妹们 我不敢相信我们再也不能去西塔的派对了 Guys, I can't believe we can't party at Theta anymore.
谁还会在乎西塔 Who cares about Theta?
他们甚至不能举办派对了 They can't even throw parties anymore.
我们找个新的兄弟会去玩就行 We'll just find a new frat to hang with.
喔 我的天 Oh, my God.
-怎么了 -快看 -What? -Look.
Drive All Night - HASSETT & MARKS
♪ Drive all night to find out ♪
♪ What you can't see ♪
♪ Cities lighting up the midnight sky ♪
姐妹们 记住不要聚集在走廊里 Girls, remember not to congregate in the hallways.
这是消防隐患 It is a fire hazard.
这些老房子都是带导火线的箱子 These old buildings are tinder boxes, so...
-谢了 弗鲁德 -我们“新导友”会见 -Thanks, Frude. -See you at the FAF meeting.
欢迎回来 我的一年级新生们 Welcome back, my Fresh-Them.
希望你们的美国感恩节过的不错 I hope you enjoyed American Thanksgiving,
你们之中只有少部分人转学 让我松了口气 and I'm relieved so few of you transferred.
我有一个令人激动的消息 I do have exciting news.
有一个新同学要加入我们 We have a new student joining us,
他是个气候难民 and he is climate refugee.
哇 我觉得我们能接收 Wow, I think it's great
无家可归的人这一点很棒 that we're taking in a displaced person.
是从发展中国家来的吗 Yeah, are they from a developing nation?
不 他来自堪萨斯城 No, he's from Kansas.
啊 他已经到了 Ah, here he is now.
大家 请热烈欢迎 Everyone, please give a warm welcome
我们的气候难民 杰克森 to our climate refugee, Jackson.
-你好 -等下 -Hello. -Wait,
你是气候难民 you're the climate refugee?
-可你是白人 -贝拉 You're white. -Bela.
-搞什么鬼 -亲爱的 -What the hell? -Sweetheart, um,
告诉我们你经历的事 tell us what happened to you,
还有你是不是直的和是不是单身 and if you're straight and single.
我真的不知道该怎么说 I really don't know how else to say it.
我的大学宿舍被四级龙卷风吹走了 My college dorm was blown away by a Category 4 tornado.
我去 Shit.
-哇哦 -等下 什么 -Wow. -Wait, what?
那太糟糕了 但是弗鲁德 That's terrible. But Frude,
我觉得“难民”这个词的含义 I think the term "refugee" implies
更多是指国际上流离失所的人 more of an international displacement.
呃 金柏丽 不要冒犯我的新朋友 Uh, Kimberly, do not offend my new friend.
他已经经历太多了 He's been through enough.
我认为气候变化是真的 I think climate change is real.
-对啊 你是认真的吗 -我没说不是啊 -Yeah, are you serious? -I didn't say it wasn't.
既然提到了气候变化 And speaking of climate change,
天气预报说明天要下雪 tomorrow's forecast calls for snow,
因此 我们要进行埃塞克斯最古老的非种族主义传统 which brings with it Essex's oldest non-racist tradition,
年度雪中赛跑 The Annual Snow Run.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God!
是不是我们可以穿着内衣在雪中跑步 Is that where we run in the snow in our underwear?
没错 That is correct.
我们是要提前预热还是等到了那再喝 Should we pregame or wait till we get there?
噢 我们绝对要提前预热 Oh, we should absolutely pregame.
我们宿舍的酒要好多了 The booze in our dorm is way better.
提醒一下 未成年人饮酒是违法的 并不好玩 Reminder, underage drinking is illegal and not fun.
但好玩的是我们下一个有趣的话题 But what is fun is our next juicy topic--
避免季节性抑郁症 avoiding seasonal depression.
嘿 金柏丽 Hey, Kimberly.
你给我买了同性恋骄傲气球吗 Hey, did you buy me a column of gay pride balloons?
我的天 是的 Oh, my God. I did.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我以为你在休假的时候已经告诉惠特妮和贝拉了 I assumed you told Whitney and Bela over break,
结果你没有 我也不能退掉这些了 but then you didn't, and I couldn't cancel them.
有人看见了吗 Did anyone else see them?
我是不是暴露了你 我是个猪队友吗 Have I outed you? Am I bad ally?
不 你很好 No, you're fine.
只是你认为我是那种会 I'm just disturbed that you think I am
喜欢这些的同性恋让我感到不安 the kind of gay person who would like that.
明白了 等你向惠特妮和贝拉出柜的时候 Got it. When you come out to Whitney and Bela,
我会给你弄个更高级的气球塔 I'll get you a classier balloon tower.
我想象中的出柜不需要气球 My ideal coming-out does not involve balloons.
请不要弄气球 No balloons at all, please.
那你会告诉贝拉和惠特妮吗 Are you gonna tell Bela and Whitney?
某个时间吧 大概 但不是现在 At some point, probably, but not right now.
我会一直在你身边支持你的 Well, I'm here for you.
好了 我该去财务援助办公室 Okay, I gotta go to the financial aid office
咨询贷款的事情了 to ask for a loan.
祝我好运 Wish me luck.
等着 就穿着你的咖啡店制服 Wait, wearing your Sips uniform?
对啊 我想让他们知道我有工作 Yeah, I want them to know I have a job.
挺聪明的 对吧 It's pretty smart, right?
金柏丽 银行只会借钱给那些 Kimberly, banks only give money to people
看起来已经很有钱的人 who look like they already have money.
让我来帮你 Let me help you.
Ceci n'est pas un cliché - Charlotte Adigéry/BOLIS PUPUL
♪你像冰块一样冷默♪ ♪ You're cold as ice ♪
♪我想让你体会真正的美好♪ ♪ I wanna make you feel real nice ♪
♪让你感受什么才是真正的好♪ ♪ I wanna make you feel ♪
-金柏丽·芬克尔 -在这 -Kimberly Finkle? -Here.
我太期待休赛季了 I'm so psyched for the off-season.
我被足球砸中太多次了 I got hit with a soccer ball so many times,
我觉得我的奶子得了慢性创伤性疾病 I think my titties got CTE.
所以我们闲暇时间要做什么呢 So what are we gonna do with all our free time?
我想一直睡到三点 I'm thinking sleeping till 3:00
然后开始喝酒喝到下一个三点 and then drinking till the other 3:00.
呃 不适合我 我日程都排满了 Mm, that's a no for me. My schedule's packed.
已经 怎么会 Already? How?
休赛季是我们处理所有在踢球时 Off-season is when we do all the stuff
做不了的事的时间 we can't do during soccer.
我要参加竞选学生会 I'm running for student government.
你见过那些衰人吗 我要好好修理他们 Have you seen those losers? I'm gon' clean up.
为什么你会想做那些 Why would you wanna do that?
充实我申请研究生的简历啊 宝贝 Pad that grad school résumé, babe.
我得打篮球 我是个双职运动员 Yeah, I've got basketball. I'm a two-season athlete.
但你说你要整天睡觉喝酒 But you were just joking about sleeping
是在开玩笑 对吧 and drinking all day, right?
对 当然了 Yes, duh, totally.
我有好多事要做 走吧 I've got so much going on. Let's go.
芬克尔小姐 Well, Ms. Finkle,
我觉得我们可以给你提供贷款 I think we're gonna be able to get you this loan.
噢天啊 真的吗 对我来说真是一种宽慰 Oh, my God, really? That's such a relief.
能帮到你我很高兴 你还有什么问题吗 I'm happy to help. Do you, uh, have any questions?
-没有 -事实上 确实有 -No. -Actually, yes.
贷款什么时候开始累计利息呢 When does the loan start accruing interest,
是固定的还是可变的 and is it fixed or variable?
好问题 Great questions.
让我给你一个小册子 Let me just get you this pamphlet.
哦哇 Oh, wow.
上面的人看起来都好开心 Everyone in here looks so happy.
金柏丽 他们只是印上去的模特 Kimberly, they're print models.
我在避孕环的广告上见过这个女孩 I've seen that girl in a NuvaRing ad.
你能让我们了解一下还款安排吗 Can you at least walk us through the payback structure?
好的 根据你的贷款金额 Uh, well, with a loan your size,
你要在未来的三十年内每个月偿还900美元 you'd be paying about $900 a month for the next 30 years.
但有自动转账 你几乎不会察觉到 But with autopay, it's like you don't even know
钱离开了你的账户 the money's leaving your account.
你要一直还到你差不多 五十岁 You're gonna be paying this back until you're, like, 50.
哦 我们的平均结清年龄差不多是六十多岁 Oh, the payoff age is actually late-60s on average.
我没有别的选择 Oh. I don't have any other options.
我想继续贷款 I'd like to go ahead with the loan.
好极了 让我们给你搞到那该死的钱 Wonderful, let's get you that shmoney.
让我给你拿那个材料 I'm just gonna go grab the paperwork
去让你父母签字 for your parents to cosign.
不要 No!
我的意思是 如果这不是一个可选项呢 I mean, what if that's not an option?
我很抱歉 但联署人是必不可少的 I'm sorry, but a cosigner is kind of a non-negotiable.
哦 那我觉得我不能贷款了 Oh, then I don't think I can do this.
感谢你抽出时间 Thanks for your time.
欢迎 埃塞克斯有趣的女士们 Welcome, funny ladies of Essex.
我们很高兴你们有兴趣加入 We're so happy you're interested in joining
我们学校有史以来第一个全女性喜剧杂志社 our school's first ever, female-only comedy magazine.
我知道你们在想什么 I know what you're thinking.
如果少了一群所有点子都是从柯南秀和周六夜现场 Will it be hard to do this without a bunch of guys
那里抄袭的男生 会不会很难做成 who steal all their ideas from Conan and "SNL"?
不 当然不会 No, it will not.
如果你在这个房间里 If you're in this room,
那就意味着你是这项运动的一部分 it means you're part of the movement--
除了那个正在做作业的男的 我觉得 except for that guy, who's doing homework, I think.
我们仍在努力寻找一个固定的会议空间 We're still working on finding a permanent meeting space.
我们等不及去读你们提交的东西了 We're so excited to read your submissions.
再过几天 Mm-hmm. In a few short days,
你们中的一些幸运女士将加入我们 some of you lucky ladies will be joining us
作为我们新发现的喜剧姐妹 in writing our groundbreaking first edition
撰写我们开创性的第一版 as one of our newfound comedy sisters.
天啊 这些女孩都是些无趣的家伙 Holy shit, these girls are unfunny turds.
是好事吗 In a good way?
这怎么会是好事 How would that be in a good way?
贝拉 你反应过度了 Bela, you're overreacting.
-有些...还不错 -你读过这些吗 -Some are... fine. -Have you read these?
这个女孩写了一首关于乳糜泻的诗 This girl wrote a poem about celiac disease,
这个女孩写了一个短语叫“OBGY-LOL” and this girl wrote a phrase called "OBGY-LOL."
-那是什么意思 -所以他们还有很多要学的 -What does that even mean? -So they have a lot to learn.
-我们会教她们的 -我真的需要这件事做成 -We'll teach them. -I really need this to work.
我想和有趣的作者一起创作 I wanna write with writers that are funny,
像你和乔那样 like you and Jo.
-还有我 -当然 -And me. -Sure.
听着 我们谁也没有想到我们会马上找到 Look, none of us thought we were gonna find
一群令人惊奇和滑稽的人 a bunch of amazing and hilarious people right away.
耐心点 好吗 Just be patient, okay?
好吧 Okay.
♪ Never gonna be the same ♪
很遗憾你没能贷款 金柏丽 Sorry about your loan, Kimberly.
如果你听了能开心点 If it makes you feel any better,
我的新喜剧杂志社是个灾难 my new comedy magazine's a disaster.
真的吗 为什么 Really? Why?
因为她们都很烂 Because they all stink.
我怀疑《卡特兰》是发现了什么 I'm worried "The Catullan" was onto something
所以直到1994年才让女性加入 not letting women join until 1994.
听着 关于喜剧我 -Mmm. -Look, I don't know anything
-什么也不懂 -确实 -about comedy... -So true.
的确如此 So, so true.
但也许 在你放弃这一切之前 But maybe, before you throw this all away,
你应该和有经验的人谈谈 you should talk to someone who's done it before.
这确实听起来是个好建议 That does seem like good advice.
哦 我有个好消息 Ooh, well, I have some cool news.
我要成为水球队的一员了 I'm gonna be on the water polo team.
-真的 -什么 -Really? -What?
我不知道你还会玩水球 I didn't know you played water polo.
哦 暂时还不会 不过看起来很简单 Oh, I don't--yet. But it seems easy.
根据我看的视频 Based off a video I watched,
我觉得只是用手踢的水上足球 I think it's just pool soccer with hands.
然后我们可以和玩水球的男生 And then we can hang out
一起鬼混了 with the water polo guys.
也许事情正在好转 You know, maybe things are looking up.
喔 我的胸啊 Ow, my boob!
什么鬼 What the fuck?
很抱歉 不过没那么抱歉 Sorry. Not really, though.
♪ I don't need no drugs at the disco ♪
现在它是垃圾了 你个垃圾 Now it's trash, you trash.
穿件衣服吧你 Put your clothes on.
♪ On the dance floor ♪
噢 该死的 我得冰敷一下我的胸 Aw, fuck. I gotta ice my boob.
等下 那什么声音 Wait, what is that?
你们听到了吗 Did you guys hear that?
我的天 Oh, my God.
叫床声 Sex noises!
等下 是那个气候难民 Wait, that's the climate refugee.
是他的房间 That's his room.
不知道她会是谁 Wonder who she is.
不管她是谁 她正度过一生中最美好的时光 Well, whoever she is, she's having the time of her life.
他们声音好大 They are being so loud.
这完全是噪音污染 我要敲墙 It's literal noise pollution. I'm gonna knock.
-你不许 -嗷 嗷 嗷 -Don't you dare! -Oh, ow, ow.
让我先录一点音 Just let me record a little first.
贝拉 现在是早上八点十五 Bela? It's 8:15 in the morning.
-你为什么在这 -是紧急情况 -Why are you here? -It's urgent.
你怎么找到我公寓的 How did you find my apartment?
之前没告诉你我住哪儿真是个明智的选择 It was a very conscious choice to not tell you where it was.
听着 我的新杂志社是个灾难 Look, my new magazine is a disaster.
所有的申请者都很差劲 这就是为什么我决定 All the applicants suck, which is why I've decided
立即放弃并接受我在《卡特兰》 to immediately give up and accept my old spot
中的老位置 贝拉要回来 on "The Catullan." Bela's back.
不客气 You're welcome.
呃 不行 Um, no.
我认为没有人会因为要和一个离开我们 I don't think anyone's gonna be excited to work with a girl
并偷走所有优秀作者的女孩共事而兴奋 who left and stole all of our good writers.
她们自愿离开的 因为《卡特兰》很烂 They left willingly. "The Catullan" sucked.
你刚刚才说你想回来的 You just said you wanted to come back to it.
行吧 你愿意加入我的杂志社吗 Fine then. Will you join my magazine?
我要说什么才能让你离开我的公寓 What can I say that will help you leave my apartment?
我该怎么做 What do I do?
呃 好吧 Um, okay,
所以你在组建一个团队 对吧 so you're building a team, right?
所以你应该把这看作是你的勒布朗时刻 So you gotta look at this as your LeBron moment.
这是你组建超级喜剧阵容的机会 This is your chance to put together a super comedy lineup.
对吗 勒布朗才不会等着 Right? Like, LeBron didn't just wait
别人加入他的队伍 for people to come join the team.
他走出去 然后他找到了 He went out, and he found
德怀恩·韦德和克里斯·波什 Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh.
嗯哼 懂了 Uh-huh, got it.
你能用非体育术语来形容吗 Can you put that in not sports terms?
找一群有趣的人 Just find a bunch of funny people.
行 Cool.
早上好 女士们 Good morning, ladies.
欢迎来到水球选拔赛 Welcome to water polo tryouts.
我们要进行一场混战 这样我可以评估你们的技术水平 We're gonna do a scrimmage so I can assess your skill level.
这看起来很有趣 This seems fun.
你以前打过水球吗 You ever played water polo before?
是的 我打过八年比赛了 Yup, I played competitively for eight years.
我刚刚开始 但我很确定 Yeah, I just started, but I'm pretty sure
这将是我生活的一部分 it's gonna be my life now too.
哦 还有 快问快答 规则是什么 Ooh, also, real quick, what are the rules?
起来 起来 起来 起来 上场吧 Up, up, up, up! Let's go!
来吧 女士们 下水吧 Come on, ladies! Get in the water!
我们来了 Here we go, yes!
好了 开始 传球 All right, let's go. Pass it!
你们是怎么不用胳膊就能游泳的 How are you guys not using your arms to swim right now?
来吧 你可以的 Come on, you got this!
我在哪个队来着 Which team am I on again?
我们走 快点 Let's go! Quickly!
我 我接住了 没人防我— Me, I got it! I'm open--
啊 Mm.
传 高 Transition! High!
-噢 -没人防我 没人防— -Oy. -I'm open! I'm ope--
你被击昏了 但我给你做了人工呼吸 You got knocked out, but I gave you mouth-to-mouth.
多谢了 Thanks.
我觉得我弄懂规则了 I think I get the rules now.
要我继续吗 Should I jump back in?
不行 No.
-所以贷款那事儿怎么样了 -老实说 不怎么样 -So how'd it go with the loan? -Honestly, not great.
他们说需要我父母共同担保我的贷款 They said they need my parents to cosign my loan,
但是我不能告诉他们发生了什么 and I can't tell them what happened.
-所以你要怎么办 -噢 我有一个主意 -So what are you gonna do? -Ooh, I have an idea.
我表姐被一辆公交车撞了 她得到了一大笔钱 My cousin got a bunch of money when she was hit by a city bus.
-去撞公交 -事实上 我找到了 Do that. -Actually, I found
一份超高薪的可以在我宿舍做的兼职 a super high-paying second job I can do from my dorm room.
我正在为一个叫 I'm typing up the closed captioning
《性爱天堂：澳大利亚》的真人秀做隐藏字幕 for a reality show called "Sex Paradise: Australia."
-有这种工作 -没错 -That's a job? -It sure is.
我要做的就是观看一集 All I have to do is watch an episode,
非常仔细地听 然后打出他们所说的话 listen very closely, and type up what they're saying--
还有他们在欢乐小屋里发出的噪音 and the noises they make in the Pleasure Hut--
-每小时给20美元 -真恶心 -for 20 freakin' bucks an hour. -That's disgusting.
你做多少集他们会付钱 How many episodes are they paying you for?
一季 有三百集 It's 300 episodes a season.
所以 如果我能在我的学业 So if I can find time to transcribe
和咖啡店的工作之外抽出时间 每周至少做50个小时 for at least 50 hours a week, on top of my school work
我的财务问题就会得到完全的解决 and my Sips job, my finances will be totally taken care of.
这太多时间了 That's too much.
你应该告诉你妈妈发生了什么 You should just tell your mom what happened
让她共同签署贷款 and have her cosign a loan.
不 我要自己解决 No, I'm gonna go with my thing.
好吧 Okay.
我没有别的兴趣爱好 I don't have any other interests.
你觉得除了足球 我还有其他特点吗 Okay, what would you say is my thing, besides soccer?
你很酷啊 That you're cool.
-嗯哼 -也很漂亮 -Mm-hmm. -And you're pretty.
然后你觉得你擅长唱卡拉OK 但其实并没有 And you can kind of sing karaoke, but not really.
认真点 坎南 Seriously, Canaan.
我不明白发生了什么 I don't get what's going on.
我觉得我感到...迷茫 I guess I'm feeling... lost.
好吧 你觉得这辈子你想要做什么 Okay, well, what do you wanna do with your life?
我不知道 你呢 I don't know. What about you?
我其实有一个非常详细的十年计划 Well, I actually have a very detailed ten-year plan
很有希望能够引导我创立自己的对冲基金 that will hopefully lead me into starting my own hedge fund
专注于影响力投资 that focuses on impact investing.
所以基本上我帮助人们 So I'll basically be helping people
同时变得非常非常富有 while getting very, very rich.
这正是我想要说的 That's exactly what I'm talking about.
我感觉我是学校里唯一一个 I feel like I'm the only person in college
不清楚自己这辈子要做什么的人 who doesn't have their whole life already figured out.
感觉挺糟的 It kind of sucks.
我知道你会弄明白的 Well, I know you're gonna figure it out,
因为你很聪明 无论你想做什么 because you're smart, and whatever you put your mind to,
你都会完美解决 you're gonna kill it.
-谢谢 -除非是玩水球 -Thank you. -Unless it's water polo.
我就知道你要提这个 I knew you were gonna do that.
Oh, my God, you guys.
好了 雪已经挺厚了 Okay, there is so much snow already.
我们确定这安全吗 Are we sure this is safe?
人们会胸部冻伤吗 Like, do people get boob frostbite?
我觉得不会 但绝对应该谷歌一下 I don't think so, but it's definitely worth a Google.
好了 雪中赛跑以弗拉特街为终点 Okay, so the snow run ends at Frat Row,
所有兄弟会都将在那里举办大型派对 where all the frats will be hosting big parties,
既然西塔出局了 and since Theta's out,
我在Instagram上做了一些全面的跟踪调查 I did some comprehensive Instagram stalking
以找出下一个最佳选项 to figure out the next best option,
结果绝对是欧米伽派 and it is definitely Omega Pi.
那些男生绝对是最性感的 Their guys are for sure the hottest
-如果有人想确认的话 -这就是为什么 -if anyone wants to check. -Is that why
-我的打印机没墨的原因吗 -都2022年了 my printer is out of ink? -It's 2022.
为什么你还会有打印机 这是你的原因 Why do you even have a printer? This is on you.
正如我所说 欧米伽派正在举办 As I was saying, Omega Pi's hosting
一个大型冬季地下派对 a huge Winter Underland party.
会很燃的 我们都要参加 It is gonna be lit, and we're all going.
我不行 我必须呆在家里做一些隐藏字幕 Not me. I have to stay home and do some closed captioning.
-你确定吗 -确定 -Are you sure? -Yeah.
我想这将是我一段时间的新常态 I think this is gonna be my new normal for a while.
好吧 女士们 我们走 All right. We gotta go, ladies.
好的 等下 等下 我可以说 Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait. Can I just say
现在我们三个看起来超特么性感吗 that all three of us look so fucking hot right now
这将是我们人生中最美好的一天之一 and that this is gonna be one of the best days of our lives!
-啊 -我的天 -Ah! -Oh, my God!
-啊 -额 我的 嗷 嗷 -Aah! -Ah, my--ow, ow!
-啊 -贝拉 贝拉 停 停 -Ah! -Bela, Bela, stop, stop.
-起来 起来 -嗷 嗷 嗷 -Get up! Get up! -Ow, ow, ow.
杰西卡刚刚做出了 Jessica has just made
抛弃布拉克斯顿 the bloody agonizing decision
的痛苦决定 to dump Braxton,
现在她要处理后果 and now she deals with the consequences.
感觉只是一场游戏 对吧 You know, it's, like, a game, right?
但这也是 找寻真爱 是吧 But it's also, like, finding love, you know?
她说的是什么鬼 What the fuck is she saying?
的痛苦决定 To dump Braxton,
现在她要处理后果 and now she deals with the consequences.
感觉只是一场游戏 对吧 You know, it's, like, a game, right?
但这也是 找寻真爱 是吧 But it's also, like, finding love, you know?
该死的 God damn it.
请你们小声点好吗 Can you please keep it down?
闭嘴吧 Shut up!
混蛋 Assholes!
大家干杯 我们两分钟后就开跑 Everyone, drink up! We run in two minutes!
我眼球冻僵了 My eyeballs are cold.
-对啊 -一样 -Yeah. -Uh, same.
-嘿 -噢 -Hey! -Oh!
-你来了 -金柏丽 -You're here! -Kimberly!
怎么 我以为你必须工作 What--I thought you had to work.
我想我做不了那份工作 I don't think I can do that job.
喝醉的澳大利亚人说话很难听懂 Drunk Australian people are so hard to understand,
特别是当你邻居做爱特别大声时 especially with our neighbor having sex so loud.
今晚你不必解决所有问题 Well, you don't have to fix all your problems tonight,
但有一件事你必须做 but there is one thing you do have to do.
没错 脱下那件外套 Exactly. Take off that coat.
让我看看那些奶奶内裤 Let me see those granny panties.
-啊 -啊 -Ah! -Ah.
-哦 -老天啊 -Oh! -God damn,
在那些老土的衣服下面 你还挺性感的 underneath all those unstylish clothes, you're, like, hot.
哦 那是 Oh, hell yeah,
你内衣闪瞎我了 姐妹 congrats on the underwear glow-up, girl.
大家准备好开跑了吗 Everybody ready to run?
三 二 一 Three, two, one,
开脱 开跑 strip and go!
♪ Let's get to it and work ♪
♪ 'Cause I hope you work well under pressure ♪
♪ And you better work ♪
一边去 贱人 我比你快 Move, bitch! I'm fast!
啊 Ah!
♪ 'Cause I hope you work well under pressure ♪
哇哦 Whoa.
噢 Ow!
-嘿 -耶 -Hey. -Yeah.
西塔可以去死了 欧米伽派取代它了 Fuck Theta. Omega Pi is where it's at.
我还从来没在一个地方见到这么多 I have never seen this many hot,
性感 赤膊的男人 shirtless men in one place.
我懂 我在用我的大脑截图 I know. I'm taking screenshots
存图等着回去享用 but with my brain for later.
一样 除了我也用手机拍了几张照 Same, except I also took a couple pictures on my phone.
哦 看到那边的那帮直男爹地了吗 Oh, see that pack of cis daddies right there?
我能看到他们每个人的迪克形状 I can see every single one of their dick shapes.
右边的厚米在他的四角内裤里有个 Homie on the right got a big ol' toddler arm
蹒跚学步的大胳膊 in his boxer briefs.
-丽拉 -嗯哼 -Lila? -Hmm?
你有兴趣为我的喜剧杂志写一篇 Would you ever be interested in writing a listicle
关于迪克形状的文章吗 about dick shapes for my comedy magazine?
我不知道那他么是什么 Well, I don't know what the fuck a listicle is,
不过行啊 小婊砸 我们来做吧 but hell yes, bitch, let's do it.
嘿 我是萨拉 Hey, I'm Sara.
嘿 我是金柏丽 这位是蕾登 Hey, I'm Kimberly. This is Leighton.
酷 你想跳舞吗 Cool. You wanna dance?
嗯 我现在正和我的朋友跳舞呢 Um, I'm actually just dancing with my friend right now.
好吧 Okay.
我本来正要去洗手间的 I was actually gonna go to the bathroom,
所以我准备去做这件事 so I'm gonna go do that.
所以 呃 你想试试吗 So, uh, you want a shot?
从它的气味判断 我会说这是一种糟糕透顶的龙舌兰酒 From the smell of it, I'd say it's shockingly bad tequila.
嗯 太可怕了 Mm, horrible.
好的 我要试试 Yeah, I'm down.
不 让我来帮你 No, let me do it for you.
张开你的嘴 Open your mouth.
呃 其实 我还是算了 Um, actually, I'm good. I'm good.
抱歉 我只喝高级货 Um, sorry, but I only drink top shelf.
好吧 All right.
谢了 Thanks.
♪ I'm ready to go, so tell me, are ya, are ya? ♪
-我的胸跳出来没 -没 你很完美 -Are my boobs poppin' out? -No, you're good.
我试着故意在我做招牌动作时露点 I'm trying to make on-purpose nip slips my signature move.
那该死的气候难民居然来了 Oh, that fucking climate refugee is here.
天啊 看他拿那啤酒的样子 Holy shit. Look at him holding that beer.
那哥们儿有超英般的胳膊 Dude has Marvel arms.
是啊 现在我有点明白 Yeah. Yeah, now I kind of get
为什么那女孩叫那么大声了 why that girl was being so loud.
-嗨 是杰克森 对吗 -对 -Hi. It's Jackson, right? -Yeah.
我是金柏丽 我房间就在你隔壁 Well, I'm Kimberly. My room is right next to yours.
-酷 -这其实一点都不酷 -Cool. -It's actually not cool,
因为你才来埃塞克斯三天 because you've been at Essex for, like, three days,
你已经有了世界上最响亮 and you're already having the loudest,
最具表演性的性爱 most performative sex in the world.
供你参考 这所学校的一些人 For your information, some of the people at this school
有一些非常重要的工作要做 have some really important work to do,
而这很难去完成 当你 and that's hard when you're,
你知道 咕哝着你的头像这样 you know, grunting your head off going like--
还是在一些非常非常薄的 On the other side of some very,
干墙的另一边 好吗 very, thin drywall, okay?
-你说完了 -说完了 -You done? -Yeah, I think so.
嗯 就像你知道的那样 和你共用 Well, just so you know, it actually kind of sucks
一面墙真的很糟糕 sharing a wall with you too.
什么该死的电视节目 What the hell ass TV show
你一直这么大声地看 have you been watching so loudly?
那是《性爱天堂：澳大利亚》 It's called "Sex Paradise: Australia."
我不知道你能听见 I didn't know you could hear it.
哦 我能 Oh, I can.
让我看看你的手机 Let me see your phone.
我这个月流量快用完了 I've already hit my data cap for the month,
别打开油管 so don't go on YouTube.
给 现在你有我的号了 Here. Now you have my number.
给我发短信 Just shoot me a text
要是我这边的声音太大的话 if anything on my side of the wall gets too loud.
-耶 -啊 不错 小婊砸 -Yeah! -Ah, yes, bitch!
我不知道 哥们儿 I don't know, man.
问题是 她除了球踢的好之外确实没什么特别的了 Thing is, she really doesn't have anything besides soccer,
所以我真的不知道要说什么 懂吗 so I didn't really know what to say, you know?
砰 走啊 那是我的 Boom! Let's go. That's mine.
全是我的 跑回来 跑回来 That's all me. Run it back, run it back.
嘿 你还好吗 Hey. You good?
我当然好了 Yeah. Course I am.
我刚刚吐在一个奖杯里面 Ah. I just threw up in a trophy.
谁还想再来一杯 Who wants another shot?
嘿 哇哦 哇哦 你在这里太浪费了 Hey, whoa, whoa, you are way too wasted to be here.
我想我得带你回家 I think I gotta take you home.
别 别 别 No, no, no--
-我一会儿给你发消息 -嗯哼 -I'm gonna text you later. -Uh-huh.
说再见 冠军 该走了 Say goodbye, champ. It's time to go.
-该走了 -呃 这味道就像 -Time to go. -Ugh, it tastes like
有人吐在我嘴里 someone puked in my mouth!
你们今晚玩得开心吗 Did you guys have fun tonight?
是的 很开心 谢谢关心 Yeah, we did! Thanks for asking!
不错 Great,
因为这将是你们最后一次参加的派对 because it'll be the last party you'll ever go to.
-老兄 你有什么毛病 -真的是 -Dude, what is your problem? -Seriously.
谁死了才让你成为兄弟会的国王 Who died and made you king of all the frats?
你是西塔会的 You're a Theta.
这就是我告诉你的那些女孩 These are the girls I was telling you about,
那些告发我们的 the ones who narced on us.
你惹上麻烦儿了 兄弟 You're a liability, bro.
麻烦 我们可是很受欢迎的 A liability? More like like-ability.
我们能来这儿是你的荣幸 We're a damn pleasure to have around.
对不对 Isn't that right?
你们都给我滚出去 Y'all need to get the fuck out.
-哦 我的天 -我们会被冻死的 -Oh, my God. -We're gonna die.
-我乳头冻伤了 -该死的 -I'm getting nipple frostbite. -Fuck.
除了我们被禁止参加兄弟会之外 Barring the fact that we got banned from frats last night,
我还是觉得昨晚我们玩得很开心 I still think we had a really fun time.
金柏丽拿到了气候难民的号码 Kimberly got climate refugee's phone number.
只能紧急情况使用 For emergencies.
你呢 蕾登 你有没有和什么帅哥搭上讪 What about you, Leighton, did you chat up any hotties?
好吧 你太优雅了 没法聊你的八卦 Fine. You're too classy to kiss and tell.
我明白 I get it.
呃 其实 确实有一件事 Uh, actually, there is something
我一直想告诉你们 that I've been meaning to tell you guys.
我是同性恋 I'm gay.
哇 蕾登 这太棒了 Wow, Leighton, that's awesome.
我们应该拥抱吗 我觉得我们应该拥抱 Should we hug? I feel like we should hug.
哦 我们不 我们不用拥抱 Uh, no, we don't-- we don't need to hug.
喔 蕾登 太酷了 我很震惊 Oh, Leighton, that's so cool. And I-I'm so shocked.
我是说 我一点都不知道 我觉得是 I mean, I had no idea. I guess it's like
我的基达不灵了 my gaydar is way off or something.
金柏丽早就知道了 对吧 Kimberly already knew, didn't she?
是的 Uh-huh.
不过 她在这方面一直是个很好的朋友 She's been a really good friend about it, though.
昨晚的派对上 她甚至帮我 She even tried to get me alone
和一个女孩独处 with a girl at the party last night.
我的天 是那个和你说话的女孩 Oh, my God, the girl I saw you talking to.
她超辣的 She was so hot.
-嗯哼 -没错 -Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
是的 但后来 我有点吓到了 变得很奇怪 Yeah, but then--then I, like, freaked out and got weird,
所以她可能对我也没兴趣了 and she's probably not interested anymore, so--
不可能 你现在私信她 No way. If you DM'd her right now,
我向你保证她会回你 I promise you it would be back on.
点进她的聊天框 Slide into her DM.
-对 给她发消息 -快点发 -Yeah, message her. -Now, do it.
快发 快发 Slide in, slide in.
好吧 好吧 我给她发 All right, fine. Fine, I'll do it.
我发了个“嗨” I said, "Hi."
太棒了 Yes!
♪ We were ♪
♪ Cosmical beings ♪
你怎么跑到这儿的 How are you in here?
我甚至让他们改了大门密码 I literally had them change the buzzer code.
我等有人出门时混进来的 I waited for someone to exit.
我只是想为你的建议 I just wanted to say thank you
向你道谢 for your advice.
我找到了一个超级搞笑的作者 I found another super funny writer
我觉得她很棒 who I think is gonna be great,
你真的帮了我很多 so it really helped.
你在早上七点四十五过来就是为了这个 You came here at 7:45 just for that?
对啊 就为了这个 Yeah, just that.
I'm So Tired - Deserta
♪ Giving up my western trouble ♪
♪ Right now ♪
♪ Tell me not to be so subtle ♪
♪ Always want you to be near ♪
♪ Guess you'll know why I'm so tired ♪
♪ Too tired to be cool ♪
♪ Guess you'll know why I'm so tired ♪
♪ I want you, I want you ♪
♪ Never thought I'd miss the struggle ♪
♪ I don't ♪
♪ Giving all the kids some trouble ♪
♪ I just want you to be here ♪
上床睡觉 Go to bed.