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翻 译 贝七 小涵同学han 肥嘟嘟
莱克茜
翻 译 易碎的绝对 Yang_Solitary 纸鹤
校 对 肥嘟嘟
马上到
时间轴 DA 树
好了 我要出门了 All right, y'all, I'm finna head out.
后 期 渔夫
等等 你要走了吗 Wait, you're, uh, you're leavin'?
总 监 Elena777
对 我现在要走了 Yeah, I'm about to leave right now.
莱克茜: 我给你留了最好的位置
没什么事吧 Is-is everything good?
老兄 你走之前 Yeah, before you go, bro, I,
我得跟你聊点事 I really gotta talk to you about somethin'.
什么事 Like what, man?
所有事 Everything.
你在说什么 The fuck is you talkin' 'bout, bruh?
老兄 Bro...
警察找到"老鼠"的尸体了 The fuckin' cops found Mouse's body.
抱歉 Sorry.
你听到我说的了吗 Did you hear what I said?
我记得你告诉我劳丽杀了"老鼠" 对吧 I thought you told me that Laurie killed Mouse, right?
-劳丽 -什么 - Laurie? - Wha--
我没说过 I never said that.
你在说什么 What are you talkin' about?
就那个劳丽 Yeah, you know, Laurie,
住在肯帕那边公寓楼里的 the drug dealer that lives in the apartment
那个毒贩 complex off Kemper.
是你告诉我她杀了"老鼠"的 Yeah, you were the one that told me she killed Mouse.
我没说过 I never said that.
-你说过 -你在说什么 - Yes, you did. - What are you talking about?
-你嗑嗨了吗 -你知道劳丽 - Are you high? - You know that Laurie and those
和她那帮手下恐吓我 fucking people, they scare me.
为什么你要包庇她们 Why are you trying to protect them?
我没包庇任何人 I'm not fuckin' protecting anyone.
什么情况 What the fuck is this?
-你在帮劳丽做事吗 -没有 - So, you're working for Laurie? - Hey, no!
你他妈赶紧闭嘴吧 So how about you just shut the fuck up!
行 那你为什么 Okay, then why are you
替她掩盖她杀人的事 trying to cover up a murder that she committed?
好了 All right, now.
现在你该走了 伙计 Think it's time for you to get outta here, big fella.
老兄 我们得把口供商量好 Bro... we gotta figure out what the fuck we're gonna say.
好吗 这事闹大了 Okay, this is becoming a fucking issue.
等等 "烟缸弟" Wait, Ash. Ash, Ash!
别 No!
你想过未来吗 Do you ever think about the future?
-经常想 -真的吗 - Yeah, all the time. - Really?
真的 Yeah.
所以你有规划 Like you have a plan?
算不上规划吧 I mean, I don't, I don't got, like, a plan-plan,
但我想过 but I be thinking about
在农场生活 living on a farm, you know?
无法想象你做个农夫 I don't really see you as a farmer.
管他呢 Yeah, fuck it.
养点马 牛 猪 鸡 羊 Get some horses, cows, pigs, chickens, goats.
组建个小家庭 Have a little family.
像《草原上的小屋》那种 Like some "Little House on the Prairie"-type shit.
知道吗 You know?
我好像不知道这部电影 I don't know if I know that show.
你没听说过《草原上的小屋》吗 You never heard of "Little House on the Prairie"?
这听上去可能像疯话 Okay, this might sound kind of crazy but,
但我的规划是30岁时有三个孩子 my plan is to have, like, three kids at 30.
隔一年半生一胎 Like, each one a year and a half apart.
这样从30岁到58岁 So from 30 to 58, I can focus on,
我就能专心当个好妈妈 you know, being a good mom
抚养孩子之类的 and raising my kids, et cetera, et cetera.
然后58岁时把最小的送进大学 And then, drop the last one off at college at 58.
这样能留给我32年 Which will give me, like, 32 years
专注于我自己和我的生活 to focus on me and live my life
把时间用在写作上 and take my time with writing.
你真把这些安排得明明白白 I mean, you really got this shit all figured out, huh?
是啊 挺疯狂的吧 Yeah. It's kind of crazy, right?
其实 I mean...
电影里他们就有三个孩子 they got, they got three kids in that show.
不用连礼貌都忘了吧 There's no need to forget your manners.
我们离文明人几百里远可不是理由 Just because we're hundreds of miles from civilized folk.
如果你住在这种地方 If you lived in a place like this,
你会买把枪吗 do you think you'd have a gun?
当然 我会买把枪 Hell yeah, I'd own a gun.
我讨厌枪 I hate guns.
没人会在中枪后对自己说 Nobody's ever got shot at and thought to they-self,
"谢天谢地我们没枪 "Whoa! Thank goodness we
否则就能还击了" didn't have a gun to shoot back." You know?
对 但那要警察干嘛呢 Yeah, but then what are the police for?
我知道就好了 Fucked if I know. Shit.
等等 你玩照片墙或者推特吗 Wait, are you on Instagram or Twitter?
不玩 Hell no.
-真的吗 -真的 - Really? - Oh yeah.
-为什么 -我干嘛要让所有人知道 - Why? - Well, why would I want anybody
我的想法和感受 knowin' what I'm thinkin' or feelin'?
不知道 也许你能结识 I don't know. You can connect
和你兴趣相投的人 with people who have similar interests.
我觉得人们在上面 Mmm. I just feel like people
分享太多了 be sharin' way too much on there.
-在网上 -是的 - Online? - Yeah.
那样会破坏神秘感 They be ruinin' the mystery, you know?
如果我喜欢一个姑娘 Like, say if I like a girl,
我会自己去了解关于她的事 I wanna find out what she's about on my own, you know?
我不想去网上搜那些只言片语 I don't wanna google the scraps.
我想一层层剥去她的外壳 I wanna, I wanna peel back the layers.
但你为什么会想 Yeah, but, like, why would
浪费时间去了解一个 you wanna waste time getting to know someone...
和你没有任何共同点的人 if you don't have anything in common with them?
我不知道 但这就是 I don't know. That's what I like
我最喜欢你的地方 about you the most, though, like...
我们没有任何共同点 we don't really have nothin' in common.
不啊 我们都... That's not true. We both...
有同样的幽默感 have the same sense of humor,
有同理心 好奇心 and... are empathic and curious.
还都想要孩子 And wanna have, like, kids.
那些不是兴趣 那是 Those aren't interests, you know, those are
真正的人格特质 real character traits.
那就是人们不会发在网上的 It's-- That's the important shit that, that
重要的东西 people don't post online.
是啊 我从没这么想过 Yeah, I never thought about it that way.
你不为我们成为朋友感到高兴吗 Well, aren't you glad that we became friends?
非常高兴 Yeah... very much so.
我也是 Yeah, me too.
莱克茜 一切进展都很顺利 Hey, Lexi! It's going so well!
好多观众都笑疯了 We're gettin' a lot of really good laughs.
是的 但别太骄傲好吗 Yeah, let's not get cocky, okay?
我给你留了最好的位置
天呐 Oh god.
节目单 《我们的生活》
迷醉 迷醉 第二季 第八集
...上千种我自己 ...thousand versions of myself.
我不光好看 还感觉良好 Only do I look good, but I fucking feel good--
莱克茜 你真的突破自我了 Lexi, you really outdid yourself.
我想说... I mean...
你从哪儿找到这些赝品的 where did she find these knock-offs.
该死 Oh shit.
我完全没想到 I had no idea
我妹妹这么有才 that my sister had this in her.
干得不错 对吗 Good job, right?
她很勇敢不是吗 Isn't she brave?
站在这里 揭开她的所有创伤 She's up here, unpacking all of her trauma.
我不知道你的生活有多艰难 莱克茜 I had no idea how hard your life was, Lexi.
我们可以为莱克茜 Can we give a round of applause
艰难的生活而鼓掌吗 for how hard Lexi's life is?
得了吧 朋友们 Come on, guys.
我知道在阿富汗 I know they hack the heads
或别的什么地方有妇女被斩首 off of women in Afghanistan or wherever.
-这是种族歧视 -天 - That's racist! - God.
这跟活在我的阴影下相比 根本不值一提 It is nothing compared to living in my shadow.
这是剧本的一部分吗 Yo, is this like a part of the play?
我也不知道 I don't know.
-莱克茜 -她叫卢娜 - Lexi. - Her name's Luna!
这是剧本的一部分吗 Is this part of the play?
-莱克茜 -停下 请你别这样 - Lexi? - Stop, please stop.
这是你写的剧 快出来 This is your show. Come out!
你是今天的主角 You're the big star of the day!
-该死 -凯茜 请不要这样 - Oh shit. - Please, Cassie, stop it.
你是今晚的主角 You're the star of the night.
她一直以来都想当主角 She's always wanted to be the star.
莱克茜 加油 Go, Lexi!
这是你最耀眼的时刻 尽情发光吧 This is your big moment. Shine!
停 快停下来 快停下来 Please, stop. Please, stop. Please, stop. Please, stop.
我该停吗 我吗 I should stop? Me?
我才不是那个演剧本 I'm not the one putting on a play
-来羞辱和为难你的人 -我没那么做 - to humiliate and embarrass you! - I didn't do that.
是吗 Oh really?!
那这是什么 Then what is this?!
-我们在哪一幕 -不要质疑 - What act are we in? - Don't question it.
这是莱克茜·霍华德的高超之处 That's the brilliance of Lexi Howard.
大家好 Hi, everyone.
我是苏西 这俩女孩的亲妈 I'm Suze. I'm the girls' mom in real life.
我的天哪 Oh my god.
由伊森扮演的 Um, played by Ethan.
他在哪儿 伊森 Where is he? Ethan?
顺便一提... Who by the way--
你把我演得活灵活现 亲爱的 he-- you have me down to a, to a, to a science, honey.
谢谢 谢谢大家 Thank you. Thank you, guys.
-非常感谢 -他以后会得奖的 - I appreciate it. - He's gonna win an award.
亲爱的 我们回家吧 Honey, let's go home.
-我活该 是吗 -天呐 拜托 妈妈 - I deserve this, right? - Oh my god, please, Mom, Mom.
-我活该吗 -别说了 - I deserve this? - Stop!
-妈妈 别拉我 -你别说了 - Mom, stop! - Shh, you stop it.
莱克茜 我他妈要杀了你 Lexi, I'm going to fucking kill you.
我活该 是吗 I deserve this, right?
因为我真正活出了自我吗 Because I've actually lived a life?
妈妈 Mom?
我是那个承担风险的人 I'm the one who takes risks.
给我们看你的奶子 Show us your boobs!
我是那个陷入爱情的人吗 I'm the one who falls in love?
我才是那个受伤的人 不是你 莱克茜 I'm the one who gets hurt, not you, Lexi!
你他妈根本没活过 You never even fucking lived!
所以你才能 That's why you're able to
站在这里 批判我们所有人 stand up here and judge all of us!
你就是个旁观者 You're just a fuckin' bystander.
-好了好了 -妈妈 别拉我 - Alright, alright-- - Mom, stop!
好了 Alright!
好吧 Oh, okay...
如果我因此成了坏人 Well if that makes me a villain,
那是就是吧 then so fuckin' be it.
我可以当坏人 I can play the fucking villain.
好 做啊 Yeah, do it!
莱克茜 这部分剧情是到了 Lexi, is this the part of the play
我把杰克从玛尔塔身边抢走吗 where I steal Jake from Marta?
不 凯茜 那部分我根本没写进去 No, Cassie, that's not in the play.
现在有了 It is now!
谁说的 Who said that?
听着 我想说 我能理解 Look, I wanna say, I get it.
-天呐 -我理解你在经历什么 - Oh god... - I understand what you're going through.
-我不想听你说话 -我也是那样过来的 - I do not want to hear from you. - I lived it.
等等 海莉和玛尔塔的男朋友搞上了 Wait, Hallie steals Marta's boyfriend?
我不知道我要说多少遍 I don't know how many times I have to say this.
他们那时候已经没在一起了 They were not fucking together.
是啊 不仅如此 Yeah, not only that,
玛尔塔说要跟他复合的时候 but she was fucking him the entire time
她还在一直跟他上床 Marta was talking about getting back together with him.
不是吧 为什么 No... Why?
因为海莉是个两面派贱货 Because Hallie is a two-faced cunt.
我不是贱货 你才是贱货 I'm not a cunt! You're the cunt!
你他妈才是贱货 婊子 You're the fucking cunt, bitch!
我不是贱货 I am not a fucking cunt.
注意语言 姑娘们 Language, missy!
好了 好了 Okay, okay, you know what?
你就是在让自己难堪 You're just fucking embarrassing yourself.
-我们回家吧 -我不回家 - Let's go home. - I'm not going home.
-这部剧还没演完呢 -我天 - The play's not over. - Oh, my god.
我觉得我要吐了 I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
妈妈 这不公平 Mom, this isn't fair!
那不是她的错 她是编剧 It's not her fault. She's a writer.
-只是剧本创作 -这不公平 妈妈 - She's a writer! - This isn't fair, Mom!
她怎么能这样做... How can she do this--?
一个西柚三块两毛五 这是委内瑞拉吗 $3.25 for a grapefruit? What is this, Venezuela?
莱克茜 莱克茜 我要杀了你 Lexi, Lexi, I'm gonna fucking kill you!
好了 够了 Okay, enough!
-妈妈 -我不知道 我很慌 - Mom! - I don't know. I'm panicking.
走开 快走开 Go away. Just go away.
停 停下 Stop. Stop it!
天 真爽 就是这样 Oh, my god, yes! Oh, that's it!
天啊 我爱骑所有东西 Oh, my god, I just love fucking everything!
不 我要杀了你 No! I'm going to fucking kill you!
从马上下来 Get the fuck off of the horse.
下来 你个婊子 Get off! You fucking bitch!
我要干掉这个贱人 Oh, this bitch needs to be put down.
不不不 麦迪 不要 No, no, no. Maddy! No!
麦迪 不不不 不要 Maddy, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
不不不 麦迪 别这样 No, no, no, Maddy! No, no, no, no, no!
-麦迪 不要 -麦迪 揍死她 - Maddy, no! - Maddy, beat her ass!
死贱人 Fucking bitch!
去你的 Fuck you!
我去 Oh fuck.
不不 停 住手 别打了 No, no! Stop! Stop! Stop this! Stop, stop...
麦迪 不不不 别这样 Maddy! No, no, no, no, no, no! No, no, no!
麦迪 不要 Maddy! No!
揍死她 麦迪 Beat her fuckin' ass, Maddy!
她活该挨揍 She fuckin' deserves that shit!
她睡了你男朋友 She fucked your boyfriend!
这都是假的 全是剧本内容 It's all make-believe. This is all scripted.
你们能相信吗 我女儿真是个天才 Can you believe this? My baby's a genius.
闭幕 Close the curtain!
快闭幕 Close the fucking curtain!
快点 Now!
几天前 A few days earlier,
我去了埃利奥特家 I stopped by Elliot's.
-怎么了 -没什么 我只是... - What's goin' on? - Ah, nothin' much. I was just, uh...
路过附近 walkin' around the neighborhood.
我以为会来对你说 Thought I'd stop by and come tell ya
去你妈的 你个告密小人 to go fuck yourself for bein' a snitch.
我知道 但说真的 我... I know, but for real, man, I, um...
我想你可能不小心救了我一命 I think you might've accidentally saved my life.
所以 无论发生过什么 So, uh, you know, whatever happened...
怎么发生的 however it happened, you know, however...
不管怎样 不管是什么 it got to be... whatever it is, uh...
谢天谢地它发生了 thank God it did.
否则我就没法来这儿告诉你我原谅你了 'Cause I wouldn't be here to tell you that I forgive you.
这种感觉 And that feels...
真的非常好 因为 that feels really, really nice because, uh,
我有许多"对不起"要说 I have a lot of "I'm sorry's" to do.
而不是"我原谅你了" But not a lot of "I forgive you's."
所以 So...
谢谢你这么做 thank you for that.
你不碰毒品了吗 So, you're not doin' anything?
不了 你呢 Nah, you?
我也是 Yeah.
别担心 我不会告诉任何人的 Don't worry. I'm not gonna tell anyone.
谢谢你 Thank you. Yeah.
你跟茱尔丝聊过吗 You talk to Jules?
-没有 你呢 -还没有 - No, you? - Not really.
好吧 我要过段时间才能和她说话 Yeah, that one's gonna take me a little bit longer.
我明白 I get that.
我能给你唱首歌吗 Can I play you something?
好啊 唱吧 Uh, yeah, sure. Go ahead.
好的 Okay.
♪我没办法♪ ♪ I've got no place ♪
♪为你造枚火箭去往外太空♪ ♪ Buildin' you a rocket up to outer space ♪
♪看着你日渐黯淡♪ ♪ I watch you fade ♪
♪继续照耀这被遗忘的地方♪ ♪ Keepin' the lights on in this forsaken place ♪
♪小星星♪ ♪ Little star ♪
♪感觉冥冥之中你选定了我♪ ♪ Feels like you fell right on my head ♪
♪把你交给风♪ ♪ Gave you away to the wind ♪
♪希望最终这一切是值得的♪ ♪ I hope it was worth it in the end ♪
♪你和我的吉他♪ ♪ You and my guitar ♪
♪我想你或许是我唯一的朋友♪ ♪ I think you may be my only friend ♪
♪我放弃一切 只为见你重新闪耀♪ ♪ I gave it all to see you shine again ♪
♪希望最终这一切是值得的♪ ♪ I hope it was worth it in the end ♪
♪我们一起对抗世界♪ ♪ Us against the world ♪
♪只是一对嘲笑地狱的罪人♪ ♪ Just a couple sinners makin' fun of hell ♪
♪如果把你留下♪ ♪ If I keep you here ♪
♪我这么做只是为了自己♪ ♪ I'll only be doing it for myself ♪
♪小星星♪ ♪ Little star ♪
♪感觉冥冥之中你选定了我♪ ♪ Feels like you fell right on my head ♪
♪把你交给风♪ ♪ Gave you away to the wind ♪
♪希望最终这一切是值得的♪ ♪ I hope it was worth it in the end ♪
♪是的 希望如此♪ ♪ Yeah, I hope so ♪
♪我想你或许是我唯一的朋友♪ ♪ Think you may be my only friend ♪
♪我放弃一切 只为见你重新闪耀♪ ♪ I gave it all to see you shine again ♪
♪希望最终这一切是值得的♪ ♪ I hope it was worth it in the end ♪
♪我知道已满是裂痕♪ ♪ I know this thing is broken ♪
♪所以我敞开大门♪ ♪ So I leave my door wide open ♪
♪我们已好久没说过话♪ ♪ Been some time since we've spoken ♪
♪总有一天我们会再次相遇♪ ♪ One day we'll meet again ♪
♪你长大后 我们有了隔阂♪ ♪ Some distance when you're older ♪
♪你会来靠在我的肩膀上♪ ♪ You'll come laying on my shoulder ♪
♪告诉我风暴已结束♪ ♪ Tell me that storm is over ♪
♪我们再相见的那一天♪ ♪ That day we meet again ♪
♪感觉冥冥之中你选定了我♪ ♪ Feels like you fell right on my head ♪
♪把你交给风♪ ♪ Gave you away to the wind ♪
♪希望最终这一切是值得的♪ ♪ I hope it was worth it in the end ♪
♪你和我的吉他♪ ♪ You and my guitar ♪
♪我想你或许是我唯一的朋友♪ ♪ I think you may be my only friend ♪
♪我放你走♪ ♪ I gave you away ♪
♪希望最终这一切是值得的♪ ♪ I hope it was worth it in the end ♪
我还在写 I'm still workin' on it.
我喜欢 I like it.
真心话还是大冒险 Um... truth or dare?
真心话 Truth.
你觉得我们还能做朋友吗 Do you think we can still be friends?
是你说 You know you're the one
我们在一起对彼此都不好 who said we weren't any good for each other.
我依然这么认为 I still think that.
对 我找到她了 Yeah... I, I found her.
我告诉大家那只是剧情的一部分 I'm telling everyone that that was a part of the play.
我就做过这一件事 简直是场灾难 It's the only thing I've ever done and it's a disaster.
原本可能会更糟 It could be worse.
怎么会 How?
可能会很无聊 It could be boring.
说得没错 That's true.
东高历史上 I mean, how many shows
有多少场演出 in the history of East Highland High
引发过骚乱 has started a riot?
甚至到现在都没结束 It's not even over yet.
艺术应该很危险 Art should be dangerous.
演出继续 The show goes on.
莱克茜 莱克茜 莱克茜 Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
海莉 收拾一下 Hallie... dust yourself off...
上马再战 and get back on that pony.
驾 Giddy up.
放手一搏吧 Let's fuckin' do this.
各位可能看到了 Um, as you may have noticed,
发生了一些技术故障 we're experiencing some technical difficulties.
不开玩笑 Um, but seriously,
我们需要一点时间调整 I think we're gonna need a few minutes.
我想感谢各位今天前来观看 I just wanted to thank you all for being here.
没想到会发生这样的事 I didn't know any of that was gonna happen, uh...
不久前 A little bit ago,
我和一位朋友谈到这部戏 I was talking to a friend about this play,
我问他 and I asked him...
"要是我惹人不高兴怎么办" "What if I upset people?"
他回答 And he said to me,
"有时候 人就是需要被伤害一下" "Sometimes, people need to get their feelings hurt."
所以 尽管他今晚不能到场 so even though he couldn't be here with us tonight...
这部戏献给他 this one's for you.
不好意思 兄弟 I'm sorry, bruh,
我们得洗脱你的嫌疑 but we have to make it look like you ain't do this.
出去吧 Just get out, man.
警察随时都可能破门而入 The cops are gon' kick down that door any second, bro.
哪怕他们知道是你做的 Even if they know that you did this, bruh...
我还是得蹲很久的大牢 I'm still gonna go down longer.
-不 -来 兄弟 - No. - Come here, bruh.
听我说 Listen to me.
出门举手投降 Just go out there and surrender.
都推给我 兄弟 听到了吗 It's all on me, bruh. You hear me?
-不 -他们要进来了 - No. - They gon' come in here.
他们会看到刀在我手里 They gon' find me with the knife in my hand.
就说跟你没关系 Tell 'em you had nothin' to do with this shit.
听我说 都是我做的 Listen to me. I did this shit!
这混蛋是我杀的 I killed this muthafucker.
听到了吗 不是你 You hearin' me? Not you.
不 不行 Mm-mm. No.
行了 去把手洗干净 C'mon, now go wash your fucking hands.
我爱你 兄弟 I love you, brother.
"烟缸弟" 别闹了 我要你 Ash, stop playin'! I need you
现在就走出这扇门 兄弟 to walk out this fuckin' door right now, bruh!
"烟缸弟" 别硬刚 好吗 Ash, we not doin' this shit, man!
你觉得我们要怎么收场 兄弟 How you think this gonna end, bruh?!
你想送命吗 You trying to die?
把枪给我 兄弟 Give me the gun, bruh.
"烟缸弟" Ash...
我不会让你出事的 I'm not finna let nothin' happen to you.
快把枪给我 Now, give me the gun.
别这样 兄弟 Come on, bro.
我不是在征求你的意见 I'm not fuckin' askin', bro.
别这样 兄弟 拜托 Come on, bro, please.
妈的 Fuck!
"烟缸弟" "烟缸弟" 给我开门 Ash! Ash, open the fucking door right now!
我没跟你开玩笑 I'm not playin' with you!
"烟缸弟" Ash!
把门给我打开 Open the fucking door!
错了 我知道 Wrong. I know.
别讲这些下流的老爹笑话了 Enough with the dirty dad joke.
这谁啊 Who is that?
你认识 You know him?
你都不打算拥抱我一下吗 爸爸 You're not even gonna give me a hug, Dad?
这是你儿子 That's your son?
没错 Yep.
好的地方全随了他 Got all the best parts of him.
我知道是什么地方 Think I know what part that is.
你知道咱俩哪点一模一样吗 You know what I think we have in common?
伤害别人让我们兴奋 When we both get off on hurting other people.
你觉得呢 What do ya think?
-你想上楼谈吗 -不 - You wanna talk about this upstairs? - No.
你现在住这儿了 So, you, uh, livin' here now?
暂时是的 Uh, for the moment, yeah.
快乐吗 Ya happy?
我还没想清楚 I'm figuring it out.
抱歉 Sorry.
比以前快乐吗 Are you happier?
咱们还是去楼上谈吧 Why don't we go talk about this upstairs?
-这个问题不难吧 -快乐 - It's a simple question. - Yes...
某些方面 In some ways.
-这可不公平 -我知道 - That's not fair. - I know.
你没资格先毁了我们的生活 You don't get to ruin our lives.
然后继续生活 还比以前更快乐 And then, just... move on and get to be happier.
我犯过很多错 I've made a lot of mistakes.
那时候我... When I was...
只有十一岁 eleven years old...
看到了我爸在旅馆和妓女上床的视频 I found these videos of my dad fucking hookers in a motel room.
那之后很久 You know, for the longest time,
我一直做噩梦 一遍又一遍 I had this recurring nightmare, just over and over...
梦见他用同样的方式和我上床 and in it, he was fuckin' me the way that he fucked them.
我跟你说过这些吗 爸爸 Did I ever tell you about that, Dad?
你们都走吧 I think it's time that... uh, that everybody go.
-我需要跟我儿子谈谈 -老天 - Um, um, I need to talk to my son. - Oh god.
祝你好运 Good luck.
-再见 -回见 朋友 - Bye. - See ya, buddy.
从小到大我一直在保护你 I spent my whole life tryin' to protect you.
你却没有给我爱 反倒恨上了我 And instead of loving me, you fuckin' hated me for it.
我并不以此为傲 I'm not proud of the person I've been.
我知道我伤害了你 I know that I've hurt you.
我不想听 I don't wanna hear it.
我想把两种生活分开 I tried to keep it separate.
但没做到 I failed.
我搞砸了 内特 I fucked up, Nate...
但我爱你 but I love you.
我很爱你 I love you.
我应该好好保护你的 And I should've protected you,
我应该让你安全无虞 却没做到 I should've kept you safe, and I didn't.
没做到 I didn't.
这是我最后悔的事 And there's nothing I regret more.
我不想听你道歉 I don't want your apology.
我只想报仇 I just want revenge.
什么意思 What does that mean?
这是什么 What is that?
都在上面 It's everything.
都在上面 Everything.
内特 Nate...
别这么做 don't do this.
内特 看着我 Nate, look at me.
不要这样做 Do not do this.
内特 不要这样 Nate, don't do this.
我... 我求求你 I'm, I'm, I'm begging you.
-不要这样做 -你... - Don't do this. - You are...
还是你 who you are.
我觉得你永远都不会改变 I don't think you're ever gonna change.
格林伍德局长 他在这里 Chief Greenwood? He's in here.
谢了 内特 非常感谢 Thanks, Nate. Appreciate it.
卡尔 你被捕了 Cal, you're under arrest.
把手放在脑后 Put your hands behind your head.
双手 Both of 'em.
举起手来 Hands up!
"烟缸弟" Ash!
举起手来 Hands in the air!
别这样 Don't do this shit!
举起手来 Hands up!
趴地上 On the ground!
开右侧门 Open door right!
让他们起来 Get 'em up!
快点 出来 Come on! Come out!
"烟缸弟" Ash!
"烟缸弟" 开门 Ash, open the door!
-不许动 -立刻把刀放下 - Don't move! - Drop the knife now!
别开枪 别开枪 里面有个孩子 Don't shoot, don't shoot! There's a kid in there!
别开枪 别开枪 别开枪 Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
里面有个孩子 There's a kid in here!
-里面有个孩子 -立刻把刀放下 - There's a kid in here! - Drop the knife now!
求求你别开枪 Please, don't shoot!
"烟缸弟" 快出来 Ash, come outta there!
把刀放下 Drop your knife!
慢点 里面有个孩子 Move slowly! There's a kid in here!
求求你别开枪 Please, don't shoot!
-拜托 "烟缸弟" 出来 -听我声音后退 - Please, Ash, come out! - Move back to my voice!
-继续后退 -"烟缸弟" - Keep backing out! - Ash!
快出来 老弟 Come out, man!
里面他妈的有个孩子 There's a fuckin' kid up in there!
"烟缸弟" Ash!
别开枪 Don't shoot!
"烟缸弟" 快出来 Ash, come on! Get outta there!
拜托 "烟缸弟" 快点 Please! Ash, come on, please!
别向他开枪 还是个孩子 Don't shoot him! It's a fucking kid!
别开枪 别开枪 "烟缸弟" Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Ash!
莱克茜
"烟缸弟" Ash!
"烟缸弟" "烟缸弟" Ash! Ash!
回答我 Answer me!
"烟缸弟" Ash!
他被击倒了 He's down!
你死时我就在大厅里 I was in the hall when you died.
你放声大哭 You let out a loud cry
好像不知道会发生什么 like you didn't know what was gonna happen...
然后就没声音了 and then, it was silent.
我的第一个想法是 My... my first thought was...
好像一部电影 "This feels like a movie."
我知道很多人遭遇创伤时 I know a lot of people feel that way when
都有这种感觉 traumatic things happen to them.
至少我听过很多次 Uh, at least, I, I hear that a lot.
感觉不真实 It didn't feel real.
好像一部电影 It felt like a movie.
就这样了 Uh, and this is it. This is...
其中的角色再也无法恢复 This is the part where the character never recovers.
生活击溃了他们 The part where... life takes them down.
这一幕 This is the s--
这一幕让她永远伤痕累累 This is the scene that scars her forever.
莱克茜 Lexi.
-穿好衣服 是你爸 -什么 - Get dressed. It's your dad. - What?
感觉你这辈子 Feel like your whole life
都在被迫照顾每个人 you've been forced to take care of everyone.
我 I, uh--
我看着你死去 I watched you die...
满脑子想的都是 这一切不是真的 and all I could think about was how none of it felt real.
灯光 急救人员沉重的脚步 The lights, the heavy boots of the EMTs
和他们恭敬 轻柔的声音 and their respectful, quiet voices...
"数到三把他抬起来" "Let's lift him on three."
太轻柔了 It was so quiet.
我很麻木 I was numb.
我不在乎 I didn't care.
我没有 I wasn't feeling life
以应有的方式感受生活 因为 in the way it was meant to be felt because...
我不在场 我不是真的在那里 I wasn't present. I wasn't actually there.
我只是旁观 I was just watching it.
但那不是真的 But that's not true.
我在乎 I do care.
如果 And what if...
如果这感觉像电影 what if... the reason it felt like a movie
是因为我想相信 失去你... was because I wanted to believe that losing you...
是更大故事的一部分 is a part of a larger story.
一个也许我... One that maybe I could...
还可以改变的故事 maybe I could still shape.
我记得在你去世的几天前 I... I remember a couple of days before you passed away.
你告诉我 You told me...
如果我想和你在一起 that if I ever wanted to be with you...
只需要闭上双眼 all I would have to do is close my eyes...
我们就会重聚 and we'd be together.
你曾说过 You said that...
记忆存在于时间之外 memories exist outside of time...
没有开始或结束 and have no beginning or end.
你说只要我在这世上 You said as long as I live...
你就会永远与我同在 you'll be with me forever.
我想你 爸爸 I miss you, Dad.
我永远怀念你 I miss you until I close my eyes.
我说完了 That's it.
谢谢 Thank you.
我只是想告诉你 I, I just, I just wanted to tell you that I...
你的剧本真的很美 I thought your play was really beautiful.
你可能是唯一一个这么想的人 You might be the only one who thinks that.
是啊 你能想象如果... Yeah, well, could you imagine if I, like,
我讨厌这剧而凯茜很喜欢吗 hated it and Cassie loved it?
你今天要干嘛 Um, but what are you doing today?
我... Um, I was--
只是躺床上 Yeah, just laying in bed.
好吧 我能... 过来找你吗 Cool, well, um, can I... maybe, like, come over?
好啊 Yeah.
当然了 Totally.
好 等会儿见 Okay cool. I'll... see you later then.
-好的 -好 拜拜 - Okay. - Okay, bye.
我感觉高中生都特别疯 I feel like all the kids in high school are super crazy.
跟八年级一模一样 It's literally the same as eighth grade.
只是大家更夸张多戏 People are just way more dramatic.
高年级的人都挺好 All the senior guys are, like, nice.
你感觉怎么样 How are you feeling?
不知道 还好吧 I don't know. I'm okay.
好了 好了 All right, all right.
我从没见过你们五个宝贝在一起 I never see the five of you little babies together,
我们拍张照 好吧 so we're gonna take a photo, okay?
-不 妈妈 别拍 -好了 大家 - No, Mom, please don't take a photo. - All right, everyone come
靠拢一点 非常美 together like that. Beautiful!
-妈妈 没人想记住这个时刻 -你这个 - Mom, no one wants to remember this moment. - Oh, you little
-小甜心 -拜托 别拍了 - sugar sweethearts. - Please, stop, stop.
我想你的剧本是第一次 I think your play was the first time
在我做了那些事后 让我能正视我的生活 I was able to look at my life and not hate myself...
而不厌恶自己 for everything I've done.
什么意思 What do you mean?
不知道 我经历了太多 I don't know. I think I've been through a lot.
不知道怎么处理 And I don't know what to do with it.
但你也经历了许多 而你知道怎么做 But you've been through a lot and you know what to do with it.
-这我不清楚 -莱克茜 看看你做的 - I don't know about that. - Lex, look what you made.
我想不出怎么做到 I don't know how to do that.
我不知道如何像你一样 I don't know how to get to where you are.
但我想让你知道 But I just wanted you to know
你的剧对我意义重大 that seeing it meant the world to me.
你经常想你爸吗 Do you think about your dad often?
我也是 Me too.
我觉得还有很多东西要向他学习 I feel like I had so much to learn from him still, you know?
我对此还很生气 I also think I'm really angry about it.
是 Yeah.
你有... 因此生气过吗 Do you ever... get angry about it?
比那更复杂一点 It's a bit more complicated than that.
什么意思 What do you mean?
我觉得... I think, like...
他不再出现后 我松了口气 I was kind of relieved when he stopped showing up.
因为之前我很担心会有坏事发生 'Cause I was so worried something bad was gonna happen.
我懂 I get that.
现在 Now...
每次电话响起 就好像... every time the phone rings, it's like...
你知道吗 You know?
但你走出来了 But you figured it out.
你想通了 You fuckin' figured it out.
我爸去世时 大家都跟我说 When my dad died, everybody would tell me that...
他死是有理由的 he died for a reason.
这话当时把我气的 Ah, that shit used to piss me off.
我真的想掐死那帮人 I would literally wanna fucking strangle them.
但... But...
我觉得他们其实想说 I think what they're actually
你要为这件事找到理由 saying is that you gotta give it a reason.
为所有事都找出理由 You gotta give all this shit a reason.
因为我不想一直抓着不放 Because I don't wanna hold on to this forever.
我不能... 不能永远这样 I can't, I can't hold on to it forever.
这感觉不好 Just doesn't feel good.
这... It's just--
-我知道其他人生来不同 但... -对 - I know other people are, like, built different, but-- - Yeah.
对我来说太沉重了 it's too much for me.
-抱歉 对不起 -不 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - No.
-不 我才抱歉 -对不起 我不... - No, sorry. - I'm sorry. I didn't--
莱克茜 Lexi...
我保证那不全是他的错 I promise you, it's not all his fault.
虽然我不确定 I don't know for certain...
但我... but I'm, uh...
我肯定他每天醒来 I'm pretty sure he wakes up every day
就会想 "我要为她变得更好 and he thinks, "I'm gonna be better for her.
我要去陪在她身边" I'm gonna be there for her."
这也是问题所在 That's also the problem.
因为他只愿为你变得更好 Because he only wants to be better for you.
因为我知道他爱你至深 Because I know that he loves you a lot
胜过爱自己 more than he loves himself.
不知道有没有让你好受一点 I don't know if that made you feel better.
谢谢 Thank you.
没事 It's okay.
我想你 I miss you.
你知道有意思的是什么吗 Do you know what's funny?
在我上台前 内特就和我分手了 Nate broke up with me before I even went on that stage.
别担心 Don't worry.
这才刚开始 This is just the beginning.
不好意思 Sorry.
抱歉 Sorry.
我知道你可能还在生我的气 I know you're probably still really angry at me...
但我只想告诉你 我爱你 but I just wanted to tell you that I love you.
我想你 And I miss you.
很想你 So much.
茱尔丝是我的初恋 Jules was my first love.
我希望以这种方式记住它 I'd like to remember it that way.
尽管我不确定这是不是真的 I don't know if that's actually true, though.
我感觉自己那段时间都嗑嗨了 I think I was high for too much of it.
我知道她难以接受 I know it wasn't easy for her.
希望她能原谅我 And I hope she forgives me.
剩下的学年我都没碰毒品 I stayed clean through the rest of the school year.
我希望能说这是我自己做的决定 I wish I could say that was a decision I made.
从某些方面来说 这样更简单 In some ways, it was just easier.
不知道这种感觉能否一直持续下去 I don't know if this feeling will last forever...
但我在努力 but I am trying.
记得阿里说过 I remember Ali said,
"一想到有人觉得我是好人 "The thought of maybe being a good person,
我就有动力真正成为一个好人" is what keeps me trying to be a good person."
或许此言不虚 Maybe there's something to that.